Jerry's buddy Adam Cormack guest blogs a recap of Wrestlemania. (Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

Jerry’s buddy Adam Cormack guest blogs a recap of Wrestlemania. (Ethan Miller/Getty Images)

I was watching the season finale of “The Walking Dead” Sunday night. But I feel it’s in the public interest that I pander to the Wrestling fans out there, the Dale Arnolds and the Ben Kichens who love the Sport of Kings. So I’m bringing a guest blogger, my pal and Ben’s Wrestlecast sidekick Adam “Uncle Buck” Cormack to recap it for us. Take it away, UB:

Oh ye of little faith. If there’s one thing I’ve decided to accomplish in the next 12 months, it’s to get Jerry back into wrestling. That’s right, by Wrestlemania 32 in Dallas, not only will Jerry know he could have watched sports entertainment’s greatest spectacle for only $9.99, but he will be fully enveloped in the characters and stories that make it one of the year’s must-see live events across any medium. So let’s break down the action for Jerry and the rest of ThorNation, shall we? Live from San Francisco’s Levi’s Stadium it’s Wrestlemania!

Kickoff: Cesaro and Tyson Kidd Defeat the Usos, the New Day and El Matadores to retain their tag titles. First off, why is there still a pre-show? The whole point of the pre-show was to try to get people interested in pressing the purchase button on their remote, or as Mean Gene would say, “Call your cable provider right now and tell them you want to order Wrestlemania!” With the WWE Network now running the show, you either have it or you don’t. It also seemed like any “Free for All” matches like these were never much of a selling point. I mean, if these matches were so great they’d be part of of the main show. What kind of selling point is this? “Pay $59.99 and you can see even more crap like this!” It’s $9.99. Let’s go, just start the show. Also, can we as fans take up a collection to get Cesaro back in the mix? I don’t know what exactly happened, if he pissed in HHH’s tea or pinched Stephanie’s butt when she was walking by, but here’s a guy who has some of the most remarkable power moves we’ve see in decades and won the inaugural Andre The Giant Battle Royal last year and now he’s been relegated to crap like this. His win last year not only elevated him with a strong push when he eliminated Big Show to get the victory, a pure power move, but it elevated the ATGMBR into a career-elevating match that will forever be an annual highlight of Wrestlemania!

Kickoff match 2: The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Um, OK, so scratch that last sentence. Well, even though this has been bastardized to the “Free for All,” they will at least push a new talent with a big win. Your Winner: The Big Show. (Face palm.)

Wrestlemania begins with LL Cool J doing everything BUT rapping about how Wrestlemania is the reason for living and we should all be thankful for that.

Intercontinental ladder match: If you listened to Part 3 of the History of Wrestlemania podcast featuring your Uncle Buck and “Young” Ben Kichen of the Dale & Holley show, you heard about how the IC title has been more or less forgotten at Wrestlemania for a decade or more, so I for one was very happy to see it as the prize of this multi-star ladder match. The talent alone in this one: Bryan, Ziggler, Barrett, Ambrose and my favorite big man Luke Harper (oh yeah, and Stardust and R-Truth for some reason). Most of this one was a spotfest as these tend to be, the highlights of which were the Ambrose power bomb out of the ring through a ladder by Harper and the dozen or so repeated headbutts between Bryan and Ziggler, the last of which knocked Ziggy to the ground, giving Bryan the win.

Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins: I was in Boston almost a year ago when Rollins won the Money in the Bank ladder match, guaranteeing him a world title match anytime he wanted. When the hell is he going to cash this dented briefcase already? Anyway, we have Rollins and Orton in this one, and what we got was the best singles match of the night. Lots of back and forth and high-paced action. I actually think Rollins is the next Shawn Michaels with his ability, and while Orton’s success since he first stepped into the WWE has made him a bit stale, he still has a lot in the tank. Orton gets the win, but you’ll see these two for months to come.

Quick crowd shot, there’s Ronda Rousey in the front row. The king comments that Ronda wishes she could be in the ring putting an arm bar on someone. Funny that RR is in the house. Last week UB was in Vegas and stopped at a collectibles shop on the strip that specialized in boxing and MMA autographed items. I was looking around and ended up getting a UFC glove signed by Royce Gracie, UB’s all time favorite and the man who put UFC on the map with his win at UFC 1 all those years ago. Jerry’s reaction to my purchase when I texted him a pic: “I’d take Ronda Rousey on a bar napkin over Gracie (all due respect).”

Sting vs. HHH: Sting’s intro includes some kind of Asian drum ceremony with all the drummers wearing the white face paint. I’m half expecting the Great Muta to come out rather than sting. But sure enough the WCW icon comes out in a red robe, again combining a little of his early surfer dude style with his later Crow persona. HHH comes out second with an over-the-top intro involving new WWE Hall of Famer Arnold Schwarzenegger and a bunch of Terminators to introduce the Skeleton King Terminator: HHH. Yeah. If this is truly a WWE vs. WCW match then HHH should have had a Terminator in his corner, and Sting should have been seconded by his old pal RoboCop! A little cyborg love for both these guys. Oh surely you remember when RoboCop saved Sting from a beating at the hands of the Four Horsemen during WCW Capital Combat in 1990? If not, go back and watch it, Ric Flair’s reaction to RoboCop’s presence is worth the ridiculous visual alone.

Sting’s early momentum in this one gets a “You still got it” chant from the 70,000 on hand. To be honest, I was nervous for Sting. I mean, clearly this is the largest crowd he’s ever performed in front of, and while the guy is a first-ballot Hall of Famer, he hasn’t been active in some time. Apparently Vince was thinking the same thing, ’cause here comes DX to help pick up the action. Wait, here comes the nWo! In my best Bobby Heenan voice, “But whose side are they on!?!?!” Are they coming to help HHH since both Hall and Nash are original Clique members with the Game? Are they coming up to bring X-Pac back to the fold? Surely they can’t be there to support Sting. That wouldn’t make sense. I mean, Sting and the nWo hated each other (don’t give me that Wolf-pac B.S.). Where’s the Four Horsemen? At least Sting was an actual member of that group. Well, before we know it DX (Outlaws and X-Pac) are brawling with the original nWo (Hogan, Hall and Nash). But here comes DX originator Shawn Michaels with a superkick to Sting. Could it be “One more match” next year, HBK vs. Sting??? So after a false finish it’s a Triple H sledgehammer (hand) shot to the face that gives him the 1-2-3. And as in real life, WWE has defeated WCW. Not a bad way to finish what wasn’t going to be much of a match after seeing what Sting has left in the tank.

Hey, let’s visit with Daniel Bryan backstage as a row of IC champs congratulates him. First up is the first IC champ, Pat Patterson, followed by Rowdy Roddy Piper with an awkward kiss to DB’s forehead. Next up is Ricky the Dragon Steamboat, who comments on his match with new WWE Hall of Famer Randy Savage at Wrestlemania 3. Woooooo! It’s Ric Flair! Wait … Flair is here and didn’t come out to help Sting? Anyway, here’s Bret Hart, who gets a “Yes” chant going before Ron Simmons breaks it up with a DAMN!

And now for no reason here’s a musical performance from some people including Skylar Grey, a heavily tattooed chick. Ugh, I can’t wait for that fad to end.

Divas mag match: Paige and A.J. Lee vs. Champs and the Bella Twins. Still confused how A.J. Lee is in the WWE while her husband CM Punk hates the organization and rips it on podcasts repeatedly. Maybe the WWE had some time in her contract to run out, maybe she split with Punk, not sure. CM seems like the kind of guy that wouldn’t be cool with that. Here come the Bella Twins. Can we stop calling the Bella “Twins” after Nikki got implants? Can we change it to the Bella sisters since now “one of these girls is not like the other, one of these girls just isn’t the same!” Or how about “the Bella Twins and Brie Bella!” The Divas division may be a spotfest but at least they help each other in the ring. And after some decent action, A.J. gets the submission of “the Bella Twins” — a.k.a. Nikki. So maybe she’s sticking around after all.

Hall of Famers come out. Weakest class in years. Randy Savage should have been the highlight. To be honest, none of the the others except Fujinami and Nash deserved to be inducted, and Nash should have gone in as Diesel after Hall went in as Razor Ramon last year. Would have left the door open for Hall, Nash and Hogan to go in a second time as the nWo. Do I have to think of everything for Vince?

U.S. title, Rusev (defending champion) vs. John Cena: Typical Cena match give us a solid 14 minutes or so, lots of reversals, etc. Cena picks up the win so he gets a title he doesn’t need, and Rusev doesn’t get the Wrestlemania win that would have given him a big push. Another example of a match that could have ended in DQ to achieve everyone’s goals.

HHH and Stephanie come out as the Authority, soon to be interrupted by The Rock. Steph gives Rock the business while HHH looks like he literally didn’t sweat Sting about an hour earlier. After eight minutes of trash talk, the Rock finds a woman to help deal with Stephanie, because the Rock wouldn’t hit a woman, right? He only rock-bottomed her to conclude Wrestlemania 2000. So Rock grabs Jerry’s dream girl Ronda Rousey in her Dragon Ball Z shirt. Ronda proceeds to show people how different WWE is to UFC, waiting for her cue to talk before tossing HHH out of the ring and putting the princess in an arm bar. The highlight of the “Wrestlemania” moment comes when the Rock says RR is going to reach down Stephanie’s throat and jump rope with her fallopian tubes, causing HHH to crack up before telling the Rock not to talk to his wife like that. (Yes, I had to google fallopian tubes to get the correct spelling.)

Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt: Bray comes out with some Zombies following him, while the Undertaker does his usual entrance. They put on a good match, despite the now annual “Undertaker can’t believe his tombstone didn’t work” face. Taker gets the win. So after ending the streak last year, WWE doesn’t give Bray the win that would have elevated his career while letting Taker pass the weirdness torch. I mean, if Sting was going to lose and Taker was going to win, why didn’t they face off again?

WWE world heavyweight title, Brock Lesnar (defending champion) vs. Roman Reigns: After Royal Rumble I would have said there was no way that Lesnar, who reportedly was headed back to UFC, was going to walk away with the title, right? But then last week’s announcement that he had re-signed with WWE and was saying goodbye to the MMA world made me wonder, do the powers that be have the balls to give the Beast the win over their rising star? I mean, in a publicly traded company with stockholders you can’t really “fake” a long-term contract signing, so if Lesnar’s on board it makes sense to keep him dominating with the belt, which is what we get … sort of.

Lesnar manhandles RR a la Cena most of the match with the crowd counting along with every German suplex. Reigns is getting no fan support even the few times Brock is left stunned by a Superman punch or three. Finally Lesnar’s head meets the ring post, splitting open his forehead. He’s bleeding like Steve Austin and now I’m seeing a RR victory, but a counter by Lesnar and both men are down. HERE COMES SETH ROLLINS!! Many had predicted he would come out and cash in his dented briefcase after an RR win, instead he just made it a triple-threat match. I’m now seeing WWE’s way out of this. Lesnar will pin Rollins, keeping both himself and RR strong for a rematch, or Reigns will pin Rollins to win without having to beat Lesnar. Instead, Lesnar gets ready to F-5 Rollins only to be speared by RR, who then is curb-stomped by Rollins, who covers RR for the 1-2-3 and we have a new heavyweight champ. Great finish, considering the impending RR win was like a rain cloud over the two-month build up to Wrestlemania. Lesnar still is the dominant force he was going in, we have the best worker of the last year as our champion and what will hopefully be a heel turn for RR after the fans’ reaction. So they’ll have you tune in to Raw to find out.

@unclebuckmq on Twitter

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
John Farrell has named Clay Buchholz the starter for Tuesday's opener. Koji and Christian Vasquez are already ruled out. Vasquez on the 60 day DL.

[0:00:06] ... at all I'd I didn't like him being brought back. I. Like Shane Victorino being penciled in as the starting right fielder for the exact same reasons is guys have our Eagles don't play games seem ...
[0:01:14] ... worry about who gives who hands him the baseball. You know lately Andrew Miller. Eight being you know if does outcomes in the 738. Advocates love the trouble it comes Milledge strikes out two guys Eric ...
[0:03:55] ... you go to new York and probably want Miley the lefty in Yankee Stadium where the match and struggles against lefties. And that line soul out that mass is probably a three mileage for just because ...

Wrestlemania was a trial run for Super Bowl 50. More Christian dog stuff. Superintendent in Chief William Gross of the BPD deals with some idiotic protesters after the fatal shooting in Roxbury on Friday night.

[0:00:42] ... year. In San Francisco they had eight was being called a pre Super Bowl test with wrestle mania. Okay that's a Russell radio featuring future NFB interview subject rod arousing. Who made apparent to wrestle mania ...
[0:04:35] ... officer former US army ranger John boy it. Was actually aren't the White House White House what nation's top coffers rule in the Boston Marathon bombing. Well on Saturday here's an induced coma. Because he was shot at point blank in the face on Tuesday the routine. ...
[0:10:05] ... 130 plus in the 1 o'clock hour. Did shut c.'s response to David Ortiz gonna do that too that it seven W media. ...

Shawn Thornton is now a member of the Panthers, who come to town tomorrow night. Thornton spoke about Claude Julien's control of the Bruins locker room, and his own team playing his former team on Tuesday night.

[0:00:00] ... The Roenick Christian Fauria it's invented here to start at 11 o'clock hour as promised we go right out to the ATT hotline and Walter and former Boston Bruins player now with the Florida Panthers. Shawn Gordon. Sean how are you a text or call and Martin Brodeur. Are so what do you do many come to Boston for a couple days shown me what's with your favorite spots he ...
[0:11:58] ... revenue. That's shot Norton former Boston Bruin now of course with the Florida Panthers. ...

The B's took advantage of 2 games over the weekend, acquiring 4 points. Tuukka left the Ranger game with dehydration.

[0:01:55] ... Pat itself on the shoulder as they added to unseat the James interest rate shoulder patting myself on the back I said they beat the Rangers are they beat Carolina eleven points out around rate. Out ...
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[0:14:40] ... might well we don't have to go to. Compares to pass to David Ortiz year meat was never but he second guessing Tyler Sagan remember when he showed up with the flu. Back up from Dallas ...

Ted Daniel has been covering the trial of Aaron Hernandez for Fox 25. He spoke about Jenkin's testimony about Hernandez ordering her to remove a box from within the house and dispose of it. She didn't remember much. The prosecution believes the murder weapon was inside that box.

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[0:04:19] ... they heard a lot of that too right from Hughes. Content in Bristol Connecticut at the scene saying she couldn't seem to remember anything prosecutors are. Pastor but the defense when and that that's that's questioned her memory would appear to chart that. I think whether it's that alma Cochran I don't think so because he's still got to get past the point on the murder charge stick. You know there is no direct evidence or surveillance video of the action will chilling note what weight tactic that. Could ...

Notre Dame guard (and Baltimore Oriole farm pitcher) Pat Connaughton hails from Arlington and talks with the guys about close the Fighting Irish basketball team was to beating undefeated Kentucky on Saturday night.

[0:00:10] ... the laws of our next guest. One of three Massachusetts guys the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Almost did what everybody in college basketball's been trying to do all year beat the Kentucky Wildcats they came up just short. What could be called the game of the tournament in the NCAA so far. Packed content in joins us right now pat congratulations and a great season and career at Notre Dame. And a great effort against Kentucky how you feel about the game now a couple days later. I thank you very much ...
[0:02:48] ... well you know our big guys are well. Aren't his pack content Notre Dame with us pat do you guys think that you gave a roadmap to Wisconsin to how to play this because I feel ...
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[0:06:33] ... Joseph is it different XP. You know I was I was love notre Dame's cute grown opera and I want to go to Notre Dame remember going out there recruiting trip pat Murphy who coached at times that you can't play here. Just broke my heart crushed me and now went out there at the guy got bit regular Notre Dame the guys can't play here. But I just want to go there I mean it was just like most things to beat the big following your beat Notre Dame fan as well when you Kidder. Yeah I think you know grow up. In Boston don't let nature Ballard actually called your ...

WICHITA, Kansas (KSNW)A Wichita woman claims her special needs son was asked to remove his letter jacket at school.

The student, Michael Kelley, has Down syndrome and autism. Kelley is not a varsity athlete but participates in extra-curricular special needs basketball.

His family bought him a varsity letter like the other kids wear, but recently, his mother says he was asked to not wear the jacket. …

KSN talked to his mother Jolinda Kelley. She says Michael, her adopted son, is one of a kind and loves to play basketball.

When he was recognized for participating, Jolinda bought a varsity letter and put that letter on the jacket.

She was shocked when she says he was asked at school to take the jacket off.

“Another parent, from what I am told, was upset that my son was wearing his letter jacket.” …

East High Principal Ken Thiessen says, “Teachers told the parents they would prefer he not wear the letter on his jacket. … We decided that is not appropriate in our situation because it is not a varsity level competition.”

So we can pretty much close down the polling places and call the election, correct? The results are in. This anonymous parent and the administrators of Wichita East High School win the “Worst People in America” vote in a landslide.

How exactly did the conversation between that parent and Principal Thiessen go? Did this mom or dad make a compelling case that Michael Kelly wearing a letter jacket somehow diminishes her/his kid’s own accomplishments? Does it somehow cheapen anyone else’s athletic careers if a kid on the special needs team is allowed to feel like he’s on varsity? Will lives be destroyed because the kid is allowed to be happy?

I’d give anything to hear the argument they used to justify tearing the jacket off Michael’s shoulders. Like them weighing the pros and cons. “I recognize that letting him wear the jacket brings joy into his otherwise difficult and challenging life. But at what cost, Principal Thiessen? I ask you, at what cost???”

And let’s make no mistake: The real monster here is Theissen. In a school with hundreds of students, you’re always going to get a parent who’s a complete dickbucket. That’s just human nature mixed with math. But there’s no reason he had to let these evil, self-absorbed narcissists win. The whole mission of being in charge of anything is to listen to all sides and make a reasonable decision. And the only rational response to someone busting into your office demanding you crush the dreams of a kid like Michael Kelly is to tell them to get lost, go piss up a rope and consider themselves lucky you don’t out them to the whole community for the heartless jagoff she or he is.

So best of luck to the entire Kelly family. And please consider signing this petition on to give Michael his jacket back. Now excuse me while I weep for my nation.


Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton

The Falcons will forfeit a fifth-round draft pick and be fined $350,000 by the NFL for piping in crowd noise during opponents’ huddles in home games during the 2013 and 2014 seasons.

The responsible party has been identified by the NFL as former Falcons director of marketing Roddy White. White has been fired by the Falcons and given an eight-game suspension by the NFL.

“The Falcons and all of our other businesses are built upon a foundation of values that drive our decision making,” Falcons owner Arthur Blank said in a statement. “This issue was a clear failure in that regard. I apologize for any embarrassment this situation has caused the NFL, our fans, and our Falcons players and associates.”

Added Blank: “Anytime there are actions that compromise the integrity of the NFL or threaten the culture of our franchise, as this issue did, they will be dealt with swiftly and strongly.”

In other NFL news, Browns GM Ray Farmer has been suspended four games by the NFL, and the team will be fined $250,000. Farmer was investigated and punished for sending texts to team personnel during games throughout the 2014 season.

“I respect the league’s decision and understand that there are consequences for my actions,” Farmer said in a statement. “Accountability is integral to what we are trying to build and as a leader I need to set the right example. I made a mistake and apologize to [owner] Jimmy Haslam, [coach] Mike Pettine, our entire organization and our fans for the ramifications. Learning is a big part of who I am and I will certainly be better from this situation.”

Blog Author: 
Nik Beimler

Golf DigestSomething tells us that when 84-year-old Margaret is riding in the new $16,000 car she won on The Price Is Right, she won’t be lamenting her violation of the Rules of Golf. Nor should she. …

We’re happy for Margaret, but as the designated wet blankets in charge, we’d be remiss in not pointing out that the clinching putt is in violation of Rule 16-1e: Standing Astride or on Line of Putt. …

The stroke was deemed objectionable by a number of golf people, including Bobby Jones, and it was made illegal by the USGA in 1968, with the rule stating:

“The player must not make a stroke on the putting green from a stance astride, or with either foot touching, the line of putt or an extension of that line behind the ball.”

For the record, the penalty here is two strokes or a loss of hole, but for now, we’ll let Margaret off with a warning.

What? Golf Digest wants to just let Margaret off with a warning? Where’s the Golf Digest I used to know? Where’s the pride? The righteous indignation? What kind of Rules Nazis are you anyway if you’re just going to sit there and let this cheating old bitty wipe her orthopedic shoes with Rule 16-1e like this?

Back in my day, we believed in the rule book without exception. We grappled regulations like 16-1e to our souls with hoops of steel. And it didn’t matter if you were playing a $5 Nassau with your idiot buddies or a weekend charity scramble tournament  or watching the U.S. Open on TV or on a game show. Back when men were men, Rules Nazis prided themselves on calling the network in the middle of a tournament to rat out Craig Stadler for kneeling on a towel while he took a stroke (a violation by way of improving his stance) or getting Padraig Harrington DQ’ed for moving his ball.

Snitching on violators was a noble calling then. But now we’re just going to let the Margarets put their stance all astride the extension of the line of the putt like this and laughing in our faces from the seat of her new car. Let’s just hope she obeys the rules of the road. Because clearly no one cares about the rules of golf any more.


Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton