Once again, and on the biggest stage, Mike Carey was wrong about a coach's challenge. Glenn, Lou and Christian rip Carey and talk about how he was never heard from again.
[0:01:29] ... here and what we got to rule. Unless we miss something most CamNewton was really brilliant and really good that post game press conference was not an embarrassing moment for him. Arm then how do you how was that the commentary post game. We you're defending CamNewtonCamNewton was the MVP of the season it was on cam new is out. It was his duty to go up there and ... [0:02:40] ... Yeah I don't know I don't wanna I'm sure noticeable need the SuperBowl opponent last year the brutal march would have brutal martian. And the Nicole today and not identical it and not to do ... [0:03:34] ... the beginning right. And that might carry it looked like I was CarolinaPanthers receiver here Cotchery caught with a Cotchery. Caught up all that around. I thought he caught it's like up Mike Terry we have a joint. But I think that he called it right except I did too. So what might carry an accident he's going to be wrong with the but it didn't matter what her chair. Edward under the test until I like Terry's. It. Ruling on the field incomplete pass let's bring in Mike Carey who was the referee a SuperBowl 42 what do you see here might I think good good good challenge by Carolina. The receiver goes out he's going to ... [0:08:36] ... we're gonna get right back to you focus really get it to TomBrady. Wasn't nice Tom. Flew all the way out there the senate Claire to get recognized by the the 70000 in attendance will ...
This year’s Super Bowl ads, like the game itself, were a crushing disappointment for the most part.
The once proud American institution continued its steady decline of recent years, either falling back on tired, shopworn cliches or trying so hard to be edgy that they just came off as desperate and weird. Still, while it wasn’t the best year, there were a few bright spots. Having compiled the data from an exhaustive, highly scientific survey (I asked the friends I had over to grade them on a scale of one to 10), here are the top five best and worst ads of the night:
T-Mobile’s “Drop the Balls”
Sure, this was utterly predictable given that celebrity-shaming is a Super Bowl ad tradition unlike any other. But Steve Harvey earned the humiliation.Budweiser’s “Drink Responsibly”
I’m just going to come right out and say it: Helen Mirren is hot.
Doritos’ “Ultra Sound”
Simply put, the funniest one of the night.
Amazon’s “Baldwin Bowl”
They had me at Alec Baldwin. There is simply no one on TV better at playing off his own exaggerated pomposity than him.
Avocados from Mexico’s “AVOS in Space”
Avocados are on a roll, following up last year’s NFL draft parody with this. And Scott Baio takes home the coveted “Has Been Celebrity Willing to Humiliate Himself” award.
Xifaxan’s “Talking Intestines”
What part of the digestive system do you think that mouth is, exactly? Hint: You don’t want to kiss this thing on the lips.
As I said when this one dropped last week, I’m a grown man and I refuse to accept the circumstances by which my parents conceived me. How does the NFL think 8-and 9-year olds should be singing about it?
Opioid-Induced Constipation’s “Envy”
I’ve just spent the day horking down chips, meatballs and chili. The last thing I need to hear about is this guy’s plumbing being backed up.
Jublia’s “Fight It”
Irritable bowels, constipation and toenail fungus? Was this a Super Bowl or a MeTV daytime marathon of “Murder She Wrote”?
Mountain Dew’s “Puppymonkeybaby”
Granted, it wasn’t that sick insurance company one last year with the kid talking about being dead. But this was an advertiser trying way too hard to be clever. Don Draper would have killed this one at the pitch stage. But in 2016, this is what makes it all the way to the Super Bowl. I weep for my country.
The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.
[0:01:31] ... ruby. And let's dispel once and for all of this fiction that BarackObama doesn't know what he's doing he knows exactly what he's doing. Let's dispel what this fiction that BarackObama doesn't know what he's doing. He knows exactly what he's doing and this notion of BarackObama doesn't know what he's doing is just not there is he knows that there is looking to memorize like five seconds speed. We are not facing a president that doesn't know what he's doing he knows what he's doing. Anyone who believes that BarackObama isn't doing what he's doing on purpose doesn't understand what we're dealing with here. What's the I would come out. Bought real ... [0:02:24] ... view and you get past disasters rain of this move in the WhiteHouse. A leash he's focused on the right kind of give rubio that he's focused on Obama. Pebble when you say first things ... [0:03:32] ... were gonna Wear your ass off but it can kick out. Meet JohnKerry Wood so be senator now. Well there's look at senator Sanders trip fewer accomplishments and rubio in the senate. But it doesn't matter in these and is not to worry about because his followers are all going. Struck the SuperBowl last night you know there was there was try to give or be shows a big form it yes it year after ... [0:04:17] ... I'm grateful you're still here it is an honor. To follow the SuperBowl especially super bull fifty. If that's a milestone yet right is now all the SuperBowl gets to join ARP that. Everything because we are broadcasting ally tonight. Could do anything. CBS has a team of lawyers standing ...
[0:03:22] ... for tax tax adult actor broke. And they had the rule notre ChristopherWalken in the bedroom was funny closet terrible mere moments and terrible. Notes effective. But. One and number one Jim you guys failed ... [0:04:10] ... the coddled from Mexico museums tour. JetBlue jail movement via Scott bail. JeffGoldblum move on up the apartments dot com tended to read his baby ultra there was a jungle book trailer and then the Audi. With the astronaut to pattern five mile per hour Audi with David bully. Singing in the background that was well done. It was well done yes. And I mean I am all in for Jason Bourne 1% I'll be there opening void that they he Nazis gee I'm Matt but I thought that was CG I would MattDamon's body when he decided that the martian got a mountain. This is he weakened a little from that role the united I'm ... [0:06:41] ... it's a problem but is topic a problem with advertise on the SuperBowl. I missed the Dennis and Callahan had. W yeah there's an Syria when when the people who ever to whom I was ...
[0:01:59] ... Don't let you know TJ award picker and often and we sud DeionBranch to that yes you know you saw Randy Moss two that. I don't think coaches are disappointed when you don't fight for ... [0:02:37] ... that play and and it'll always blow my mind. It you don't ThomasDavis is out there with a broken arm yeah eyes are out there. With all kinds of injuries this guy's a Fe Brady ... [0:07:07] ... most asked of the players to defend the players to hear from CamNewton before play more action CamNewton do we have a cute but there is. I mean it's hard to play it's one word answer yes. I thought about ... [0:07:41] ... and I think he put into words best his defense of of CamNewton and camNewton's tactics. I was just couldn't say I wonder and not edited and it. When I mean I mean OK I thought did ...
[0:05:29] ... are all so I'll start a softball knees went public to the SuperBowl just last night what did you think. And what you've enjoyed it more had a guy TomBrady been in ball. Alleviated our guys in this viewers. It was a terrible game of this terribly played add it who has ... [0:14:42] ... a few good people like I can't say where you know Gary JebBush used. Is that yes I mean he's exactly I it is inhabit it and tablet next. But what you're you have people perhaps talent. And you know we'll have to see what happens but I'd rather that you're now because of running again. Longest JebBush. I think yet is well he's got a lot of special interest money you know they can be used to lobbyists that ... [0:19:11] ... were I stand campaigning. Looks painful to me shaking hands traveling speeches goodfood bad food aid jam packed schedule no time is Jerome. Obviously you don't need a job obviously don't need the money why ...
And this, my friends, is why I didn’t want Tom Brady to take part in the NFL’s little Super Bowl MVP donkey show. Far be it for me to be one of those people who brags about being right, but once again everything unfolded just as I said it would. Every past MVP from Chuck Howley to Jake Scott to Mark Rypien got treated like royalty, and the G.O.A.T. got treated like a wrestling heel.
Congratulations, Supreme Leader Snoke Goodell. You didn’t succeed in getting Brady suspended. You haven’t (and won’t) win your court case. You couldn’t stop his team from winning. But you did manage to do what no other commissioner in the history of sports ever did: Destroy the reputation of one of the greatest ambassadors your game has ever had over nothing. You took a man who’s represented your league with class, distinction and honor and reduced him to a punchline in the eyes of the nation. Even his own home town. I hope that thought keeps you up at night, but I doubt it does. To be bothered by what you’ve done would require a conscience and a soul and you have neither.
To everyone who argued with me that for Brady not to show up would be petty, ruin the ceremony and cost him the chance to enjoy a great moment, I’m going to suggest you listen to those boos and tell me who’s guilty of doing all three. And I’m going to suggest Brady himself listen to them next time he’s thinking about playing nice with others and just stay home instead. If they’re going to treat him like a villain, it’s time to start acting like one.