Without a doubt the last, lingering, dying ember of the once-blazing bonfire that was Deflategate to still be glowing in the ashes is the business of Jim McNally referring to himself as “The Deflator” in a text to John Jastremski. Granted, that text is from May of 2014. But when the R2D2 of this “scandal” used that term to the C3PO, it became the hub of the wheel around which all the allegations spun.
And in spite of all my efforts to douse the flame with ice cold buckets of the truth, “Deflator” is the one spark still smoldering.
The Patriots issued “The Wells Report in Context” in which they explained it away by saying the two droids used it to refer to weight loss, which was met by a universal chorus of ridicule. As have I. Like when I’ve pointed out that there is another text from McNally, sitting at home in New Hampshire watching last December’s game at Green Bay and texting Jastremski (who was shown on TV) “deflate and give me that jacket,” which is entirely consistent with weight loss and makes zero sense in the context of a scheme to take air out of footballs.
So I present to you the premier fitness publication, Men’s Health magazine, using “deflate” in a manner exactly consistent with what the team, myself, and all right minded, sane people in the world have been telling you for months. Unless somehow you think the magazine is part of the Deflator and Dorito Dink’s plot to defraud the pro football world. Otherwise, just because you’ve never used the term doesn’t mean others don’t do so all the time. And here’s your proof.
Mashable – There has been a different kind of awakening. Have you felt it?
As the tidal wave that is The Force Awakens approaches, its rising tide has lifted all kinds of Star Wars-related merchandise ‘ apparently including the pornographic parody movie Star Wars XXX, which has seen a 500% increase in DVD sales since the beginning of December. …
George Lucas has been dead set against any Star Wars porn-related content, and the company sent out several cease-and-desist letters to Star Wars fanzines that published pornographic “slash fiction” in the 1980s.
But thanks to the First Amendment, it was a losing battle. Star Wars XXX isn’t alone; other porn parodies set in a galaxy far, far away include titles such as Sex Wars, Porn Wars and Star Whores.
I say there’s no way George Lucas really objects to there being porn parodies of “Star Wars.” He might be responsible for the legendarily bad “I don’t like sand…” speech from Episode II, but he is no dummy. And he’s nothing if not a brilliant businessman. He knows that a porn parody is good for his (no pun intended but I won’t avoid it) bottom line.
“Star Wars” isn’t just a movie franchise. For some of us who identify with nerd culture, it’s a part of our lives. And for a small population of uber-nerds, it’s a whole lifestyle. They don’t just want to watch “The Force Awakens,” they want to be fully immersed in the whole universe. From the merchandise to cosplaying, from the online forums to, inevitably, the porn equivalent.
Which is why these adult films don’t detract from the franchise reboot, they enhance it. If I was Lucas, I’d start funding my own “Star Wars” porn spinoff titles.
May the Foursome Be With You
You’re My Only Ho
Judge Me By My Size
Moons of Endor
Let the Wookie Finish
Debbie Does Dantooine
Ice Planet Hot
Princess on the Streets, Lay-a in the Sheets
Lucas might consider it “pornographic,” but judging by the sales figures, the rest of us consider it art.
GQ – You know 25-year-old supermodel Hannah Davis for her S.I. swimsuit cover, co-starring in those DirecTV ads with the talking horse, and easing fiancee Derek Jeter into post-Yankees life. …
As for the Captain, with a retirement package like this, we don’t know why he’s bothering with his media-mogul phase, puttering around the offices of The Players’ Tribune’his athlete-friendly publishing site’when the two could spend more time [at their St. Thomas house] instead. … But if he’s away? Suits a fiercely independent Davis just fine.
“That girl in high school that spent every waking moment with the boyfriend and lost all her girlfriends?! That’s not what life’s about,’ she says, laughing kinda mercilessly at the thought. ‘You have family and friends for a reason! You can’t leave that in the dust. And your partner should agree with that and want the same things for himself.”
You know how pundits always like to say that Jimmy Carter wasn’t much of a president, but he’s probably been the best ex-president of all time? Lord knows few things gave me the kind of joy that I got from tweaking Yankee fans about Captain Intangibles. How he was one of the worst defensive shortstops in baseball, maybe the most overrated athlete of all time and a guy who got more credit for not getting into trouble than anyone in American history. That said, I take a back seat to no one when it comes to admiring his post-retirement game.
It takes a lot for a world class swordsman to take himself off the market. For a Clooney or a Brady to turn in his sexual 007-like License to Kill and settle down with just one woman. And when the do, they’ve got to make their choice count. And that’s what Jeets has done in giving Hannah Davis the final rose.
She’s 25. Hotter than St. Thomas asphalt. Has her own lucrative modeling career. And doesn’t want to be the Stage Five Clinger high school girl who won’t let her guy out of her sight? She’d actually prefer to let him go off on his own and stay friends with her girlfriends? Derek Jeter has already retired the trophy of the Best Ex-Baseball Player Ever.
THURSDAY’S BROADCAST HIGHLIGHTS:
NFL: Buccaneers at Rams, 8:25 p.m. (NFL Network; WEEI-FM)
NBA: Thunder at Cavaliers, 8 p.m. (TNT)
NBA: Rockets at Lakers, 10:30 p.m. (TNT) College basketball: West Virginia at Marshall, 7 p.m. (ESPNU)
“I’m always going to be recovering,” Sabathia said. “But I have the support of my family, my organization, my team, friends, so I feel pretty good about where I’m at.”
Sabathia left the team on Oct. 5, a day before the Yankees‘ wild card loss to the Astros. While the timing was difficult, Sabathia said he needed to go public with his problem and get immediate help.
“I think that was the biggest thing, is that it’s not a secret anymore,” Sabathia said. “I’m able to get help with different people. I think if people see my personality change or things changing, then they’ll be able to help me.”
“I think that’s important,” Girardi said. “I don’t think anyone wants to carry a weight around. If you’re hiding something it’s difficult to go through life. Hopefully it allows him to be more effective.”
The 35-year-old left-hander, who has two years remaining on his five-year, $122 million contract, appeared lighter than he looked at the end of the season and said he’s been healthy this offseason. He’s coming of his worst career year, as he went 6-10 with a 4.73 ERA while battling injuries.
— U.S. women’s soccer legend Abby Wambach was feted as she played her final game — Wednesday’s 1-0 loss to China in New Orleans that ended the Americans’ decade-plus run without a loss on home soil.
“Tonight is a celebration,” Wambach said. “The result, obviously, is annoying. It would be better if we had won, but the reality is I played in so many games. This result doesn’t shape or determine or define my career.”
Wambach, the all-time scoring leader (men or women) in international play with 184 goals — subbed out in the 72nd minute, kicking off her cleats and hugging each teammate as the crowd chanted her name.
“I love this team,” the 35-year-old said in postgame remarks to the crowd of 33,000. “It has been my pleasure and my honor to represent you all, the fans, for as long as I’ve been able to. … The future is so bright. These women are going to kill it.”