Junkee – The preparations for the 2016 Rio Olympics are not going that well. Today the Australian Olympic team have stated that their accommodation for the games is so bad that it’s basically “unliveable”. … with Australian Olympic Committee leader Kitty Chiller saying that at this stage, there’s no way that her team is moving in.
“For over a week now AOC staff have been working long hours to get our section of the village ready for our athletes,” Chiller told Fairfax. “Problems include blocked toilets, leaking pipes, exposed wiring, darkened stairwells where no lighting has been installed and dirty floors in need of a massive clean.”
“In operations areas water has come through the ceiling resulting in large puddles on the floor around cabling and wiring.” …
When talking about the issue with Brazilian news outlet Folha De S.Paulo, Mayor Eduardo Paes commented that: “I almost feel like putting a kangaroo in front of their building to make them feel at home.”
Ha! Kangaroos! Good one, Mayor Paes! See, Australia is where kangaroos are from! So when the Australians nitpick about little things like backed up toilets leaking pee water down on top of exposed wiring on their floor, crack wise about kangaroos. Boom! Problems solved!
And besides, what’s wrong with these Aussies anyway? Lighten up, princess. A little raw sewage, live electrical wires and pitch-black blind descents down a poorly constructed incline never hurt anyone! I thought they were a tough breed Down Under. I thought they were descended from prison inmates and built to survive as gasoline-hunting marauders in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Not this bunch of poop- and electrocution-phobic Nancys.
So I’m glad the mayor of the Olympics host city is treating the first athletes to arrive with the kind of complete disregard and hatred of foreigners that’s been a hallmark of the games since 1936. Though at least Hitler could get the toilets to work.