I’m not even joking when I say that the most useful tool in the study of human behavior we have today is online porn. You can learn more about the human race by what people are watching on adult sites than all the clinical research, sociological trends and psychiatric case studies in the world.
From the first day of the Olympics, the usual traffic volume from Rio itself jumped as high as 15 percent above its usual average.
Pornhub searches containing “Rio” were 243 percent above average. The third most common Rio related search was “Rio Olympics”.
Searches relating to “Olympic” and “Olympian” went up 2,729 percent above average.
The most popular search was “nude Olympics”, followed by “Olympics” and “sex Olympics.”
Searches for “athletes” in general were 417 percent above average during the games, with “athlete Olympic” the second most searched term.
The most searched for sport was “Volleyball,” followed by “Soccer/Football,” “Swimming” and “Gymnastics/Gymnast.”
The second most popular search was “beach volleyball,” followed by “volleyball ass.”
Searches relating to gymnasts and gymnastics increased 245 percent during the Olympics, peaking at 382 percent above average on Aug. 10. The most popular search was “naked gymnastics.”
Searches for judo were 76 percent above average. While “judo” was the most popular search, “nude judo” and “judo footjob” were also increasingly popular.
Searches for “marathon” were up 462 percent overall, but that was mostly non-running related, with “sex marathon,” followed by “marathon” and “masturbation marathon.”
I might not be an actual scientist, but I feel like my whole life’s work has been a sort of amateur form of anthropology. People and their behavior are my passion and always have been. So here is my expert analysis of this data.
People are horny.
That might sound overly simplistic, but it’s something I think a lot of us try to deny. There’s a segment of the population that acts offended by the mere suggestion that we’re motivated by sex, but that doesn’t mean we’re not. And that goes for sports.
Part of the appeal of sports is watching attractive, athletic, fit people do physical things in revealing outfits. Yet there are those who claim it’s somehow sexist or demeaning to admit that. The media covering say, beach volleyball act as though its appeal is all about the competition and the athleticism and not the obvious butt shots. Feminists would prefer that you appreciate gymnastics for the grace and power of the athletes while ignoring the fact they’re adult women with sex appeal.
But all of them are in denial of basic and very, very human impulses. No matter your orientation, if you’re a sexual being you’re going to be interested in seeing sexy people doing things. To claim otherwise is to try to repress millions of years of evolutionary hard-wiring.
So relax, everyone. And just accept it. Whether you have a crush on Aly Raisman, are a gay man seeking “a swimmer’s body” or searching Pornhub for judo feet, you’re just being natural. And I’ll see you during the next Winter Olympics, searching for videos during the ladies figure skating finals.
The 8am hour Friday podcast with Kirk Minihane joined by Butch and Bradford. The guys start with the posted show host job description for Dino's replacement, then get back into the Brady preseason playing time discussion.
Heat Street — The University of Chicago, one of America’s most prestigious and selective universities, is warning incoming students starting this fall not to expect safe spaces and a trigger-free existence during their four-year journey through academia.
In a letter sent to the class of 2020, Dean of Students John (Jay) Ellison said one of the defining characteristics of the school was its unwavering commitment to freedom of inquiry and expression. Civility and mutual respect are vital to the campus culture, the letter states, but not at the expense of shielding students from unpopular opinions or ideas.
“Our commitment to academic freedom means that we do not support so-called “trigger warnings,” we do not cancel invited speakers because their topics might prove controversial, and we do not condone the creation of intellectual “safe spaces” where individuals can retreat from ideas and perspectives at odds with their own,” the letter states.
Now you’ve gone and done it, University of Chicago. You’ve run headlong at full speed into the withering fire of the political correctness machine gun nest. It’s a move that takes balls of titanium, and I admire you for it. But it’s not going to be an easy year for the Maroons.
And believe me, you do so to the sound of a hundred million standing ovations. The non-academic community has your six all the way on this one. You could have taken the easy route. Looked around to find yourself surrounded by the rest of the frail, terrified, rabbit-eared uber-sensitive college administrators across America and refused to capitulate. But you chose a nobler path. You chose bravery over cowardice. And you will not be abandoned. Not on my watch.
I just hope the John (Jay) Ellisons on campus are willing to stand their ground, because there will be consequences. Parents from next year’s freshman class who decide to send their precious little snowflakes to some other institution where they won’t have to, say, listen to a conservative economist. Coeds who faint at the sound of the word “girl.” Liberal arts majors who need treatment for PTSD if they see “Vote Trump” written in sidewalk chalk. Faculty who refuse to use potential “trigger” words like “male” or “female.” Students desperate for protection from “microaggressions” like … well, like anything at all that you’ll find in normal, human interactions.
I’d say “Godspeed” on the U. of Chicago’s efforts if I wasn’t worried that would interfere with the “safe space” of whatever atheist/agnostic/pagan/devil worshippers are still on campus in the wake of this announcement. So instead, I’ll just say, “Good luck.”
Kirk reads the Friday 'Headlines' which include Bruce Springsteen performing a four hour show in New Jersey, and the great early reviews for "Hands of Stone"
[0:05:37] ... take out our vacation. Well understood why you have so I'm like. RichardDreyfuss and what about Bob vacation. You are so upset over that I'm not over either weak on the vineyard nothing bothered me ... [0:08:20] ... is still something sticks in the club alive and wanna fight mean CliffLee he won a lot of stupid I tried but I still say won the fight. I think so but he but he ... [0:09:37] ... Dino Dennis will be with somebody you know actually real you like CurtSchilling is the funds who's in the studio. A few months ago in thirty years in John majority that he's going to be ... [0:11:53] ... you 56 us given and it mind you. Did you wouldn't like TomBrady the other day I want these reps because it won't so many more are leaders in ten years and I have my ...
Kirk, Rob, and Butch discuss the impact of the injury to Andrew Benintendi. They continue their discussion about Tom Brady playing in tonights preseason game
[0:09:36] ... the report is read. Pages quarterback will indeed play Friday night against CarolinaPanthers given bill Belichick's stated objective. Making Jimmy grapple with preparation for the season's first for games a priority it was uncertain whether ... [0:14:08] ... how can anybody argue that what is best for the team is TomBrady playing today is there anybody way to wrap. From Jimmy's or a player who is if they were spent for the first ... [0:14:52] ... place cedars you know play cool specially on him on the team's DonImus. The guy's gonna play a quarter of the federal pre season game. Against a really good defense were it actually helps a ... [0:20:44] ... the most important pre season game B game where you have. If TomBrady was playing in game one. You would have him play 13 quarters what two and a half quarter to would have brought ...
Butch Stearns and Rob Bradford join Kirk Minihane. They begin the show wondering and theorizing why the Patriots are playing Tom Brady in the third preseason game. They also delve into Bradfo's new house guest
FRIDAY’S BROADCAST HIGHLIGHTS:
MLB: Royals at Red Sox, 7:10 p.m. (NESN; WEEI-FM)
MLB: Orioles at Yankees, 7 p.m. (MLB Network)
MLB: Braves at Giants, 11 p.m. (MLB Network)
NFL preseason: Browns at Buccaneers, 8 p.m. (CBS)
NFL preseason: Packers at 49ers, 10 p.m. (NFL Network)
College football: Hawaii at California, 10 p.m. (ESPN)
WNBA: Liberty at Stars, 8 p.m. (NBA TV)
WNBA: Sparks at Storm, 10 p.m. (NBA TV)
Soccer: Bundesliga, SV Werder Bremen at Bayern Munich, 2:30 p.m. (FS1)
AROUND THE WEB:
— As he closes in on Tuesday’s showcase for major league teams, Tim Tebow has impressed at least one former major leaguer.
David Aardsma, a 34-year-old journeyman reliever who pitched for the Red Sox in 2008 and most recently played for the Blue Jays’ Triple-A team earlier this season, pitched to Tebow twice in practice sessions, and he told the New York Daily News’ Anthony McCarron that he came away believing the former quarterback has a chance with baseball.
“When I walked away, as a pitcher, I was pretty impressed,” said Aardsma, who has been working out at the same Arizona facility as Tebow, hoping to make a return to the majors. “He needs to see a lot more pitching and understand what the pitcher is watching and seeing from him and adjusting. That’s not something you know until you’re in it.
“I’d get him to instructs [instructional league], work his butt and get him to play winter league. Get him on the field every day, facing different pitchers. I would not be surprised if he’s in Double-A next year. I’d put the talent there right now.”
Aardsma said Tebow did a good job of adjusting to the right-hander’s pitches the first time they faced each other. One week later, the two again shared a field Thursday and Tebow further progressed to the point where the 29-year-old ESPN analyst took Aardsma deep.
“It actually really pissed me off,” Aardsma said of Tebow’s success against him, noting that he was throwing low-90s fastballs as well as breaking balls.
Added Aardsma: “He looked like a much different hitter today. He looked like he is midseason. He got tired at the end, but that was after a lot of work and probably 12 at-bats.”
Red Sox president Sam Kennedy acknowledged Wednesday on Ordway, Merloni & Fauria that Boston will be one of the expected 20 or so major league teams at Tuesday’s workout, although he didn’t sound optimistic about it being worthwhile. Aardsma said he can see why some in baseball have doubted Tebow’s chances of succeeding in his career change, but he doesn’t rule it out.
“It’s understandable,” Aardsma said. “If I’m a scout, outside looking in, I’d say no chance. But there’s always exceptions to that rule, some people who have innate talent. What’s the risk?”
— One day after North Carolina football coach Larry Fedora confirmed that Tim Beckman had been serving as a volunteer assistant coach despite being fired from Illinois for allegedly mistreating players, Beckman announced Thursday that he was leaving because he did not want to be a distraction.
“I appreciate the opportunity Coach Fedora gave me to stay connected to the sport and be around one of the best staffs in the country,” Beckman said in a statement. “His willingness to help a friend was a benefit both personally and professionally. I do not wish to be a further distraction to the team or University and I will no longer serve as a volunteer at UNC. I wish Larry and the program nothing but success going forward.”
Illinois fired Beckman last August after determining that he pressured players to play hurt. Beckman settled a wrongful termination suit in April for $250,000.
Fedora had defended his decision to have Beckman help the defensive staff, saying he heard Beckman’s side of he story and “didn’t believe everything I read.”
However, Fedora said Thursday that he agreed that Beckman’s departure would be the right move. UNC chancellor Carol L. Folt also said a statement that Beckman’s departure was “the right thing to do.”
— The NFL Players Association said Thursday that Steelers linebacker James Harrison met Thursday with NFL investigators regarding allegations of performance-enhancing drugs, one day after Packers defensive players Clay Matthews and Julius Peppers had their meetings.
The players had been threatened by commissioner Roger Goodell with suspensions if they did not meet with the league by Thursday to discuss why their names were included in an Al-Jazeera report late last year. The players were named — along with retired Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning and former Packer/current free agent Mike Neal — by anti-aging institute intern Charle Sly, although he later recanted.
Harrison initially took a tough stance against the league’s order, then said via the NFLPA he would talk on Aug. 30 at the team’s facility, but he eventually agreed to meet the league’s deadline.
ON THIS DAY TRIVIA (answer below): On Aug. 26, 1945, which Red Sox pitcher won his 20th game of the season, winning the game for himself by hitting an RBI double in the bottom of the 10th inning to beat the Philadelphia Athletics, 4-3, in Game 1 of a doubleheader sweep?
QUOTE OF THE DAY: “It’s just not good. It’s just not good.” — Cowboys owner/general manager Jerry Jones, after seeing a TMZ video that purports to show rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott visiting a Seattle marijuana dispensary hours before making his preseason debut in Thursday’s game against the Seahawks
STAT OF THE DAY: 34 — Consecutive hitless at-bats by Rays outfielder Mikie Mahtook before he hit a game-winning RBI double in the seventh inning Thursday to beat the Red Sox, 2-1