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From the first moment I heard about Kim Kardashian supposedly getting robbed by five masked gunmen in Paris, my B.S. sonar started pinging like crazy. By the way, it’s the same truth detector I used to be right about Deflategate from Minute 1 and call shenanigans on Ryan Lochte’s little international incident in Rio. So I trust my own instincts here as well.

First of all, when you’re accusing someone of cooking up a huge lie, particularly one as elaborate as this, the natural reaction is to say, “What kind of a person would try to get away with such an insane story?” And, “Why would anyone lie about such a thing?” Well in this case, the answers are simple.

Kim Kardashian. And because she is Kim Kardashian.

If you think that anything that family does is on the level, in any way tied to reality or not concocted to boost publicity and make ignoramuses watch their terrible TV shows, you are a child. Hell, I didn’t even believe the whole Kayne West/Taylor Swift “feud” from this past summer because it was too perfectly scripted to be anything but a ploy for ratings.

As is this “robbery” story, which reads like Act I of a crime caper movie. Masked men. Who happen to know exactly what they’re after. Kim traveling with tons of jewelry. The robbers bind and gag her for a little touch of “50 Shades.” Of course, no one is hurt. Just “shaken.” And it’s Paris, so we get the mental picture of the Champs-Elysees and the Eiffel Tower out every window and probably mimes pedaling bikes past the building with loaves of bread in the basket.

And let’s not forget that Kanye just happened to be live on stage when the call comes and he gets to tell the crowd he’s “got a family emergency.” The whole thing is so perfectly laid out and timed to the season premiere of that used diaper of a TV show that it stinks to high heaven.

If I haven’t made it clear by now, to me the Kardashians are the embodiment of everything that is wrong with America. I’ve said before and I’ll say again, while I pray every day we never get attacked again, if it should happen, I want the terrorists to say it’s because they watch our television. And they’ve declared war on us to stop the “Toddlers & Tiaras,” the “Real Housewives of …,” “Teen Mom” and most of all, this lying, scheming, enabled brood of self-absorbed, narcissistic publicity whores and the criminal mastermind in charge of the whole operation, Ryan Seacrest.

I could be wrong about this. (Spoiler alert: I am not wrong about this.) And if I am, it will not change the way I despise these empty-headed, spoiled twits one iota. They are the worst. And when this gets exposed, remember where you heard it first.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
We replay some of Belichick's conversation with Dale and Holley and go back over Kirk's appearance with Tanguay on Comcast last night.
The guys talked about the Patriots plan at QB on Sunday and which actress has the hottest voice.
Curtis did not upload the right photo and Kim Kardashian's story is getting more and more difficult to believe.
Gerry, Kirk and Andy Hart discussed Belichick's conversation with Dale & Holley as well as Kirk's appearance with Tanguay on Comcast.

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TMZJulian Edelman’s baby mama only rolls with the best … Exhibit A — the insanely hot guests who attended her baby shower over the weekend.

Ella Rose was surrounded by about 30 smoking hot friends — seriously, the group shots look like a modeling agency’s Christmas party. Makes sense ’cause most of ’em are models, like Abigail Ratchford who hosted in her Bev Hills pad.

We’re told the shindig cost about $10k, and some of that was even spent on food, including ham and cheese croissants and mini beef wellingtons.

As Julian Edelman continues to Single White Female Tom Brady’s life, would you expect his baby to get anything less than the best? Of course the fruit of Jules’ loins would have a $10,000 baby shower with smoke shows as far as the eye can see, consuming mini croissandwiches and mini beef wellingtons. I bet even the after-meal purging session was full of glamour and style.

Future Minitron Jr. deserves this. When both your parents are champions at life, you can’t be brought into the world with your mom surrounded by a bunch of doughy, average-looking hausfraus, opening “Baby Einstein” DVDs and electric bottle warmers. You need a room full of 9.5s in designer clothes featuring low-cut belly shirts from their own personal fashion empires. That’s how winners are born.

So, well done, Ella Rose. This is how you build a genetically perfect race of Li’l Julian Edelmans and start them out on the right path to their own future greatness.

And thank you, Abigail Ratchford, for putting together this collection of dimepieces. You’re raising that kid right. And here’s a photo gallery to show our appreciation, Thornography style.

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Good morning, here’s your Tuesday Mashup. For the latest news, start at our WEEI.com home page or click here for the top stories from our news wire.

TUESDAY’S BROADCAST HIGHLIGHTS:
MLB wild card playoff: Orioles at Blue Jays, 8 p.m. (TBS)
WNBA playoffs: Sparks at Sky, 7 p.m. (ESPN2)
NBA preseason: Knicks at Rockets, 8 p.m. (ESPN)
NBA preseason: Clippers at Warriors, 10:30 p.m. (ESPN)
NHL preseason: Sabres vs. Hurricanes, 7 p.m. (OLN)

MONDAY’S RESULTS:
NFL: Vikings 24, Giants 10

AROUND THE WEB:

Chip Hale is out as Diamondbacks manager. (Joe Camporeale/USA Today Sports)

Chip Hale is out as Diamondbacks manager. (Joe Camporeale/USA Today Sports)

— After finishing the season close to the basement, the Diamondbacks have cleaned house.

Arizona fired manager Chip Hale and general manager Dave Stewart on Monday afternoon after the team finished the season with a dismal 69-93 record.

“We are very grateful to Dave and Chip, who are widely respected throughout the game of baseball,” Arizona managing general partner Ken Kendrick said in a statement. “Ultimately, the results have not been what we had hoped, and while that responsibility is shared by all of us, we have decided that a change is necessary.”

Stewart doesn’t seem to be heartbroken over getting axed.

“They may think I’m going to blast people, but I’m not,’’ Stewart told USA Today Sports. “It is what it is. It’s that side of the business. To be honest with you, I’m kind of relieved. Quite frankly, I’ve got better things to do.’’

“I don’t have anything bad to say about Ken Kendrick,” Stewart said. “I’m not mad at this guy. He’s different. I’m different. Really, we were oil and water.”

In a press release on Monday, the team announced it will discuss another role for chief baseball officer Tony La Russa in the future, but Kendrick said La Russa will not be the manager.

— Barry Bonds reportedly has been fired after just one season serving as the Marlins hitting coach.

Bonds, 52, took the job, his first since retiring from baseball, at the beginning of the season and the production at the plate seemed to improve under his watch. Miami’s offense ranked fourth in the majors with a .263 batting average, 13th with a .322 on-base percentage and 27th with a .394 slugging percentage.

No reason was reported for the firing, but it has been speculated Bonds does not see eye to eye with Marlins manager Don Mattingly. Mattingly called out Bonds back in April for not putting in the effort required to be a hitting coach.

— Eagles linebacker Nigel Bradham was arrested on Sunday for the second time in four months on a misdemeanor concealed weapons charge.

A loaded handgun was found in Bradham’s bag at Miami International Airport, TMZ reported.

Bradham told officials at the airport he packed the gun in his backpack by mistake and showed them his concealed weapons permit.

“It was clear that there was no criminal intent on his part,” officials said. However, they could not release Bradham because of his previous arrest.

Bradham was arrested in July for aggravated assault after reportedly punching an employee at a Miami hotel. He is due in court on Wednesday for that case.

MEDIA CHECK-IN: Stephen A Smith was asked if he will apologize to Rex Ryan for calling him “mentally weak” a few days before Ryan’s Bills defeated the Patriots. Here is his unambiguous response:

QUOTE OF THE DAY: “It’s great to be back in the building.” — Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, on returning from his Deflategate suspension

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Derrick Rose (28)

ON THIS DAY IN SPORTS HISTORY: In 2001, Barry Bonds hit his 70th home run of the season to tie Mark McGwire’s MLB record.

Blog Author: 
Lucy Burdge
To Christian's own admission, we get a little "weird" during the final hour. National Boyfriend Day, the Arizona Coyotes, and the weird things we do to make it in radio. All this and Odell Beckham Jr.'s delusions on Late Night.

[0:04:18] ... the premier young. I'd demon in the Lee and in their captain Shane Doan is very goody and what what we did get CU was they Allison do this one minute montage of Sheen down. Putting ...
[0:14:06] ... person will for our. All you know for all intents and purposes Tom Coughlin seemed like a pretty good football coach and he couldn't yet it's auto Bakken junior did I as it stands right now ...




Rex Ryan, the Cleveland Indians, and Bill Belichick is still in a foul mood. All this and more on Late Night.

[0:00:53] ... and I'm talking in my AK. Hyper dealer receivers. You know there's Terrell Owens in the you know law these guys over the years. Who were just so. Temperamental and just can't get all the themselves ...
[0:03:36] ... about that game that I did pay close attention do with the Tom Brady interview with Jim Gray. All day long. Everyone looking for Tom Brady and going to find them. Couldn't find him this morning when you're supposed to do dirt Callahan. With Pete to meet. They were asked at all about him today none of the players seeing him in now and then finally right there called Jim Gray he talked to Jim Gray insane and gray asked about the flaky and asked him about rejoining the team asked him if he you know sort of made the fans closer with the patriots and that sort of thing. And you know Dick I got me thinking about. Everything about Bill Belichick. You never hear Bill Belichick. Talk about patriots fans ever notice that. Belichick never. And maybe he has and I just don't remember but I pay it ...
[0:05:43] ... you know Connie that I was thinking about today as I heard Tom Brady. Sort of stumble through a question for Jim Gray about you know has this. Galvanizes by brought the fans of the patriots ...
[0:07:05] ... against the league their people obsessed with this team I'm sorry but Tom Brady. Either he's very oblivious Kurt aegis you know it's just like water off the ducks back yeah. It's it's that was a ...