Disclaimer: I’m not Jerry Thornton. He’s the entertainer’s entertainer, a global icon with comedy chops, a radio show and a full head of hair. I have none of these things. I merely have the unenviable task of keeping the award-winning Thornography blog afloat while Jerry is on vacation, undoubtedly enjoying a romantic getaway with Johnny Weir.
Most athletes use the ol’ “My account was hacked” excuse whenever something nefarious pops up on their social media accounts, but in Jae Crowder’s case, it’s probably true. It’s hard to imagine the Celtics forward would post a photo of a woman who does not appear to be his significant other on Instagram and caption it with the following.
“THIS IS A HOME WRECKING HOE! SHE’S A FORMER DRUG DEALER AND SHE HAS ABANDONED HER CHILD TRYING TO COME UP OFF ATHLETES. HER 7 YEAR OLD CHILD IS CURRENTLY IN NEW YORK CITY WITH HER EX WHO PRETENDS TO BE HIS FATHER, WHO IS ALSO A DRUG DEALER. SHE IS DESPERATE & LOST!”
Tell us how you really feel, Instagram hacktress. The comments also turned up this gem from whoever got hold of Crowder’s account: “U [expletive] somebody husband in a guest bedroom while they whole family there.” Well, then.
Naturally, Crowder deleted the post and replaced it with a photo of his significant other and daughter, who he introduced to the crowd at last week’s press conference announcing his five-year, $35 million contract extension. The caption: “FAMILY IS FOREVER.” His Instagram account was then erased altogether. Smooth recovery.
It doesn’t take a genius to decipher what is going on here: J.R. Smith hacked Jae Crowder’s Instagram account.