This thing was posted over the weekend and is already over a half-million views. Because watching a man torture his wife with flying foam projectiles is funny every time it has been tried. I can’t believe this wife bore the man’s child. But my guess is there won’t be a second one. Not that I feel sorry for her, because I don’t. When you marry a man with that many Nerf guns in his arsenal, you knew what you were getting yourself into.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton

Matt Damon is out promoting “Bourne Legacy,” and to that end he did a Reddit AMA Tuesday in which was asked about his career-making star-turn in Trey Parker and Matt Stone’s tour de force puppet epic, “Team America: World Police.” And his answer helps confirm what I’ve long assumed: That Damon is one of the coolest celebrities we have.

I was always kind of bewildered by Team America, I think because it’s hard for us to understand what our images are in public, I think we’re not good judges of that, and when I saw myself on screen just only able to say my own name and not really that well, I kind of wondered “Wow, is that how people perceive me?” At that point I just kind of was like, I’m a screenwriter and an actor, and like really? I can barely say my own name? So I was always bewildered by that, and I never talked to Trey and Matt about that. And Incidentally, I believe those two are geniuses, and I don’t use that word lightly. I think they are absolute geniuses, and what they’ve done is awesome and I’m a big fan of theirs, but I never quite understood that one.

That, my friends, is how it’s done. When you’ve won an Oscar and end up being portrayed in a puppet movie as a moron who can only say his own name and you have no idea why, just roll with it. It’s amazing to see so many successful, famous and accomplished people who are so thin skinned, so unable to laugh at themselves and so ultra-sensitive to criticism that they go off the deep end whenever they get parodied. But I’m not surprised it would take a Boston guy to not necessarily get the joke, but just roll with it anyway.

Hopefully Damon’s boy Ben Affleck handled the “Batman v. Superman” criticism the same way because, in spite of his efforts, it is terrible.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
The OMF guys discuss Meliana Trump's buzzed about speech, and the Trump campaign's response to plagiarism allegations

[0:01:07] ... share with the American people. A person she has always liked is Michelle Obama. Over the phone she read some passages from mrs. Obama's speech as examples. I wrote them down and later included some of ...
[0:03:56] ... that's why this thing is is. It won't go away very quickly. Joseph Biden. Plagiarize somebody else's speeches had to drop out of the presidential race back in what 1988 he's the vice president of the United States. This is easy to deflect. I agree I agree with ...
[0:09:54] ... days ago when we know that stuff was definitely script off from Michelle Obama speaks. But I think in this day and age. In in people can you know doom check the fact checking with with ...
[0:12:30] ... really loaded from office they have a zillion people working in the Hillary Clinton Campaign. Where it's a real streamlined. Operation. Wish that the trump campaign. But on top of that Lou. They're not politicians there ...

The guys talk about the latest poor reports out of Rio before the 2016 Olympics. A caller gets very upset about the OMFers negative attitude towards Brazil's efforts to clean up the country before the games

[0:08:15] ... so she's probably I know from Lansing there's none in New York Fashion Week which is to the bash show decrees he wants to follow and remedies that do. So their lines as doesn't go very ...
[0:12:33] ... well as a country all the issues. Project out OK I. Your business analysts think you guys expect ultimately we patrons are educated. I went to school anyway it's. I can silica what you are stalked ...
[0:20:32] ... but it doesn't we don't always so as Asian Cup I thought Tom Brady dancing in Cary on her car of like I say that is because the Africans and Asians throughout the diseases I asked ...
[0:21:35] ... about any of that stuff I might season. General manager of the Boston Red Sox. We'll get the latest on Koji and what the Red Sox need to do between now only attributable on its commitment. ...

Red Sox GM Mike Hazen joins the OMFers to talk about the state of the Red Sox as the MLB trading deadline approaches
Glenn, Lou, and Christian discuss the rules Tom Brady needs to adhere to during his 4 game suspension
Angry Lou strikes back, as Koji suffers a pectoral injury in an outing Lou felt was unnecessary for the elderly reliever


TMZJohnny Manziel was involved in a fistfight at a fancy Hawaiian resort the night before his friend’s wedding, TMZ Sports has learned. …

We’re told things had been heated between the guys for a while — but it all came to a head at the rehearsal dinner.  

Sources connected to Manziel tell us the QB felt like he was being hounded by the other man. We’re told Johnny was adamant he was not the instigator. 

But things escalated … and at one point during the altercation Manziel struck the other guy in the face. …

But get this … the next day, the other guy in the fight got a surprise from room service — a bottle of champagne and a note that read, “Truly apologize. Should have never done that. Know this won’t make it better, but hope it starts the day off alright.” 

It was signed by Johnny Manziel.

I haven’t been including Johnny Manziel around these parts much lately because what is the point? You could literally post about him daily because he’s producing blog fodder every waking hour. But at some point it gets redundant. He’s like Amy Winehouse toward the end, where you wonder if it’s just better to wait until the inevitable overdose happens, then recap all the insane, self-destructive hijinks instead of trying to keep up.

That said, the one person who is not in the wrong here is Manziel. If you invite Johnny Football to your wedding rehearsal dinner or pick an argument with Johnny Football at your friend’s wedding rehearsal dinner, you have no right to act surprised when Johnny Football ruins said ruins said wedding rehearsal dinner.

It’s what he does. And blaming him is like jumping off a pier and blaming the ocean because your clothes got wet. It’s going to the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona and blaming the bull when you get gored. These friends of his walked into the Johnny Manziel pit at the zoo, past all the warning signs and over the security fence, then tried to act surprised one of them got mauled.

So this story won’t even make his obituary. Maybe the next one will. Either way, it shouldn’t be long now.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton


Daily Beast Lou Holtz, the legendary retired coach of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish football team, has a lot of feelings about immigrants.

Speaking at a luncheon the Republican National Coalition for Life hosted during the RNC to honor Phyllis Schlafly, Holtz said the high number of immigrants coming to the U.S. constitutes an “invasion.” And he said new immigrants need to assimilate better. Holtz added that his grandparents learned English after immigrating to the U.S. from Ukraine, and insisted his family learn it as well. New immigrants to this country, he continued, need to learn and speak English and “become us.”

“I don’t want to become you,” he continued. “I don’t want to speak your language, I don’t want to celebrate your holidays, I sure as hell don’t want to cheer for your soccer team!”

The crowd laughed and applauded. …

Holtz also said he has to park his van in the back of his church’s parking lot and back it into a spot there because it sports a bumper sticker that embarrasses his wife. He said the sticker is directed at some of his golf buddies, and reads, “Jesus loves you. Everybody else thinks you’re an a******.”

Frigging Lou Holtz. Just running roughshod over the Republican National Convention like a boss. Carrying around a bottle of Crown Royal. Putting immigrants on blast. Dumping on soccer fans. And going blue with his comedy in a crowd of anti-abortion activists. That’s the kind of thing you can get away with when you’re pushing 80 and your coaching legend is cemented.

You don’t have to agree with Holtz’ views. Especially since I’m not sure the Constitution allows for ex-Notre Dame football coaches to set immigration policy. Not even if they’ve won a national title. And I’m sure his bosses at ESPN aren’t exactly cutting him a bonus check right about now. Nevertheless, you’ve got to admire an old coot with zero regard for who he hacks off just shooting from the hip with zero F’s given. Getting drunk on imported Canadian whiskey, telling millions of imported people to learn English, saying soccer sucks and calling his golf buddies a*******s in front of a crowd of strangers.

Again, you don’t have to like what he’s saying to respect a guy with nothing to lose telling you what he thinks because he’s got the cache to think it. Hate the game, not the player.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
Clayton Kershaw

Clayton Kershaw

It looks like Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw will not be making a return to the mound anytime soon.

Currently on the disabled list with a mild disk herniation, Kershaw had a simulated start on Saturday but continued to feel back discomfort. The Dodgers were hopeful that the 2014 National League MVP would make a return sometime this week, but Dodgers manager Dave Roberts said Kershaw’s return is “uncertain.”

“After he threw that live session, the next day Sunday didn’t feel great,” Roberts said Tuesday. “I think that at that point and time he let us know that we had to be a little more on the cautious side. I don’t know if it’s a step back, but we’re going to let the back pain subside and see where we go.”

Kershaw, who has an 11-2 record and an NL-best 1.79 ERA, has not pitched since a June 26 loss at Pittsburgh. He was placed on the disabled list later that week.

The three-time Cy Young winner is not the only Dodgers pitcher who is dealing with an injury. Brett Anderson has been dealing with back pains since spring training, and Alex Wood has missed most of the season with an elbow injury. The Dodgers have put together an 11-6 record without Kershaw, but the number of injuries to the starting rotation may force Los Angeles to make a deal before the Aug. 1 trade deadline.

For now, the Dodgers are first in the wild card standings, with the Marlins, Mets, Cardinals and Pirates close behind. Los Angeles likely will need Kershaw to return this season in order to clinch a playoff spot.

“Clayton will do everything he can to get back,” Roberts said. “We’re better when he is active, obviously. It’s something we have to deal with and we have to continue to try and win baseball games.”

Blog Author: 
Nicholas Frazier