I always wondered why people in old movies like the ones you flip past on Turner Classic Movies on your way to something made in the last three generations talked in a way no human being I’ve ever met does. I always just assumed it was because they were selling some sort fantasy to the great unwashed masses. Now we find out this Mid Atlantic accent was actually a thing. Go figure. Now I’m obsessed with trying to talk like this as well just to impress people, but I doubt I’ll pull it off. Once a Masshole, always a Masshole.
It seems that Olivia Munn is upset because some people have implied that part of the reason her husband Aaron Rodgers has been playing like Discount Double Crap lately is that the two of them are having problems at home. So she got on Twitter and put the media on blast.
Now I love Olivia Munn. She is a goddess in Geek Culture. And her Princess Leia Slave Girl bikini costume has been the cause of more Nerdgasms than the TARDIS. (Though I bet she’s not bigger on the inside than the outside. Sorry. Nerd humor.) So I applaud her for fighting back if she feels she’s been done wrong. But I have something else I need to tell her.
Welcome to the club.
Your superstar record setting, Super Bowl champion, MVP husband is struggling a little bit and people are making snarky comments about it being the fault of his glamorous celebrity wife? Yeah, sorry there Olivia. But Gisele Bundchen blazed that trail a long time ago. If you’re going to grab the brass ring of quarterback husbands, you’ve got to be able to take it. And you can’t fight this battle. Rodgers is going to have to shut everyone up with his play the way Tom Brady has. So get over yourself. All you’re doing is walking a mile in Gisele’s stilettos.
One of her accusers is Jason Blaha, the founder of the YouTube channel JuggernautFitnessTV. In his weirdly capitalization-fixated description of his channel’s mission, Blaha explains, “When I talk about spotting drug use my goal isn’t to tear anyone down but to empower with knowledge.” And in this case, that “knowledge” is that Holly Holm must be guilty of PEDs because her lady parts are so huge. I hope you feel empowered.
To be be fair, Holm has been tested as much as anyone in her sport and never came up dirty. To be even fairer, I don’t care if she uses or not. I’m pretty much a PED libertarian in that I’m done with worrying about which athlete is using what, who’s clean and who’s on the forefront of masking agent technology. That goes for baseball players, Olympians, thoroughbred horses and female mixed martial arts fighters. If their sports want to test them, fine. But until someone actually gets caught with a positive result, I will continue to find ways to not be bothered speculating, making assumptions or caring whether they do or don’t.
That said, if we can clean up sports by examining vaginas, well then forget everything I said. I think we need to start paying more attention to these ladies’ bathing suit parts and we need to do it right away. From MMA fighters to tennis players to figure skaters to lingerie football leaguers to foxy boxers and everyone in between. And I volunteer my services. Not that I have any medical training or consider myself an expert by any means. But I’m willing to learn. Not for me, mind you. But for the good of those sports. My goal, like Jason Blaha isn’t to tear anyone down by looking at their naughty bits, but to empower.
A proposal went through Massachusetts that restricts a lot of things for playing DraftKings or FanDeul -- but it remains legal! Glenn, Lou and Christian discuss this and how it'll affect Lou's fantasy addiction.
This is the video we on Dale & Holley (with Thornton added) played on Final Drive Wednesday afternoon. And what the guys said is absolutely true: This guy does a fair Ray Lewis voice, but when you see him the resemblance is uncanny. He could easily go down to Times Square in that outfit and charge tourists to take pictures with him like all the Spidermans, Hello Kittys and Disney characters in their cheap, knockoff unlicensed costumes.
I have to say though, I feel bad for this guy. It’s always a cruel twist of fate when you were born looking like someone notorious like Ray Lewis. I mean, he could make a fair living if he could pass himself off as someone beloved. But no one is going to hire him for say, a kid’s birthday party or a Bat Mitzvah to do a celebrity impression of a convicted felon. And somewhere thousands of out-of-work former Pee Wee Herman imitators can sympathize. So while there’s no money to be made in it, I hope he keeps the videos coming because this is gold. Ruby Tuesday? Priceless.