FOX Sports – New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady’s venture into the world of commercial health and nutrition products continued this week when his label TB12 put out boxes of snacks for $50.
According to CNBC, the TB12 Snacks went on sale Monday and were sold out by Wednesday morning.
The TB12 Snack 12-Count Variety Pack is not simply cashews and peanuts but a mixture of six different raw, vegan, organic, gluten-free, and dairy-free snacks. The varieties are called: Blueberry Crunch, Amazon Crunch, Superfood Energy Squares, Cacao Goji Energy Squares and Dark Cocoa Coconut.
For starters, to repeat what I said on the air Wednesday, I was about to order Tom Brady’s nuts. Until I found out they were actual nuts.
Now that that’s out of the way, if you’ve ever wondered, as I have, why the whole world outside of Patriots Nation seems to despise Tom Brady, here is part of the reason.
It’s because everything he does, he not only dominates, he does to perfection. Quarterbacking. Marrying. Fathering. Business. Fitness. Investing. Fashion. Looks. Cookbookery. He sets an impossibly high standard that no other human can hope to emulate.
And now, he no sooner enters the premium, upscale, gourmet, raw, vegan, organic, gluten- and dairy-free nut market, than he’s cornered it. He’s better than King Midas, because everything he touches doesn’t turn to gold, it turns to fricking Unobtanium.
Joe Montana was once considered the best quarterback of all time and was a true champion in every sense of the word. Do you think for one hot second he could sell out an entire inventory of Blueberry Crunch or Cacao Goji Energy Squares in one day? Peyton Manning wants to be the Man Who Can Sell American Anything, a 21st century Bill Cosby with substantially less sexual harassment in his background. And sure, he can move pizza and insurance. But no one is buying $50 pouches of Superfood from him. Only Tom Brady can pull that off.
Whether it’s fashionable slippers, mattresses or $200 cookbooks that are actually living documents of nutrition, nobody can inspire people to purchase high quality luxury like Brady can. And his greatest marketing achievement to date is, to put it in the words of America’s Poet Laureate Rob Gronkowski, deez nuts.