In order to raise money for the family of Odin Lloyd, the court has approved the sale of Aaron Hernandez’s house at 22 Ronald C. Meyer Drive in North Attleboro. The asking price is $1.5 million, which works out to a nifty $7,038 per month on a 30-year fixed rate mortgage. Which must be a bargain because the real estate listing on the place claims “There is a 75 percent chance this home will sell in the next 9 days – go tour it soon.”
The listing also describes Shooty McMurders’ former criminal lair as:
Brick front Contemporary Colonial with 3 car garage located in Prestigious Westwood Estates. Open floor plan with 2 story balcony overlooking family room and foyer. Master suite with private balcony, gas fireplace, wet bar with refrigerator, oversized master bath has jetted tub, double vanity and tiled shower. Custom gourmet kitchen featuring . granite island, wolf appliances, wine cabinet, pantry, wet bar and dining area. Sun filled room off the dining area overlooking the in ground pool and cabana. Pottery Barn look entryway off the garage with built in coat racks, seating and drawers. Finished basement with custom bar, sink, refrigerator, microwave and dishwasher. The finished basement also offers a full bath including a sauna and ice bath a theater room and a possible workout room. Private showings only with pre approval.
I get how real estate advertising works. You don’t say a house is “small,” you call it “a starter home.” You don’t call some dump for what it is, you call it “a handyman’s special.” And like any of you, I want the Lloyd family to get as much out of the estate as possible. I just have a hard time hearing about jetted tubs and wet bars, gourmet kitchens and wolf appliances (Note: please let that be a brand name) when we’re talking about the hideout of one of the most notorious criminals of our time.
I don’t blame the realtors for holding back. But if they wanted to be completely honest, the ad would read:
Here’s your chance to buy a house you otherwise couldn’t afford! If you’re one of the few people who’s not completely weirded out by the idea of living in the former home of a convicted murderer, have we got a deal for you! You’ll be able to sleep in the same master suite where he decided to throw his privileged life away. Relax in the bar area where he used to do drugs with his lowlife accomplices. Prepare meals at the same granite island where he rationalized (allegedly) killing two people outside a nightclub because one of them spilled a drink on him. Luxuriate in the same sauna where he contemplated the cold blooded murder of his friend. Enjoy the view from the poolside cabana where he convinced his girlfriend to hide the murder weapon. And hang up your coat in the Pottery Barn look entryway off the garage where the police took him into custody. Granted, that’s creepy as hell. But if you have the stomach for it, you can save some money and live in an otherwise nice place. And, the neighbors will love you for not being a homicidal maniac. Comes with a partially damaged home security system.
On second thought, the buyer might really want to consider just leveling the place and building a new house.