Where was this sex ed film when I needed it?

My sainted mother was old school Irish Catholic who raised her baby boy to respect that everyone has their natural, biological functions and they should all be treated with the same amount of embarrassment. Which is why it would have been helpful to have had this landmark video starring Jonathan Banks of “Breaking Bad.”

I always assumed Mike Ehrmantraut would be Banks’ career-defining role, but that was before I caught his tour de force performance as the tortured Johnny. Not mention the acting of Jenny, who lends her heart, her soul and her uterus to her role. And holding it all together we have sound medical advice of the not at all molestery-looking Dr. Frank Frank. Just a transcendent cinematic achievement by all involved.

And watching Banks’ performance, you can just see the genesis of the Ehrmantraut character:

I can just imagine that if Mike’s girlfriend told him she had her period, he would have responded by drinking all the milk, staring blankly into space and then hiding in the back of a refrigerator truck to kill two hit men. So bravo to all involved. This was the best Sex Ed video since “Fuzzy Bunny’s Guide to You-Know-What.”


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Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton


MichiganAs pediatric cardiologist Dr. Ronald Grifka showed 10-year-old Ivan Applin the wire-framed device that would be used to fix the holes in his heart, the Toledo fourth grader had just one burning concern.

“He asked if the Michigan doctors were going to make his heart love University of Michigan instead of Ohio State,” his mother Jennifer laughs.

No, he would wake up loving the Buckeyes just as much as he ever did, Dr. Grifka, assured him.

I don’t pretend to be the world’s foremost college football junkie by any stretch. But I’ve always kind of wanted to be, in that way that George Costanza always wanted to be a Civil War buff. I’d like to be that, just not enough to actually become it. Part of the problem is I went to state college so I don’t have any skin in the game, so to speak. So I envy the people who have a school with a major football program they can care about.

That said, while I don’t follow college football as much as some, I am really big on hatred. I love the major rivalries. Put a game on Saturday where the two programs despise each other, where careers will be made and reputations tarnished and accomplishments will be celebrated forever and it’s on like Donkey Kong.

Take Michigan-Ohio St. That’s a rivalry I can get behind. It literally goes back to a actual border war over the strip of land that includes the valuable port of Toledo in which real shots were fired. In it, the Ohioans called the Michiganders “wolverines,” which was meant to be derogatory but they considered it a badge of honor and it stuck. That’s the kind of hatred you can’t invent. It’s real.

Which is why, as of this moment, Ivan Applin is my favorite 10-year-old in the world. Any kid who’s more concerned about preserving his irrational, obsessive loathing of Michigan than his own heart health can drink from my canteen any time.

Now you might think that because Tom Brady went to Michigan I’d be a fan, but no. My own Beguiling Irish Rose is a Notre Dame girl and I’ve got in-laws who are ridiculously over-the-top Wolverines fans so Brady aside I’ve got plenty of reason to hate them. And with all due respect to my broadcast partner Michael Holley, I have no love for Ohio State either. But regardless of which team my boy Ivan is into, I respect his game.

So best of luck to young Mr. Applin here, although he won’t need it. Any kid with a heart like his is going to be fine.


DraftKings Kick off this football season with the biggest fantasy football contest ever on DraftKings! Prizes worth $10 million are up for grabs, including $2 million for first AND $1 million for second! PLAY IN THE WEEK 1 MILLIONAIRE MAKER, CLICK HERE.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton



Inside TrackThere’€™s been some trouble in paradise for Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, and ‘€œDeflate­gate’€ is to blame, according to People magazine, but rumors that the couple is headed for divorce appear to be out of bounds.

“There have been a lot of stresses in their marriage in the last year, especially during football season,” a source close to Brady told the magazine, adding that 12 can be ‘€œnasty and cold’€ when engrossed in his own problems.

“€œTom is singularly focused on his career and sometimes Gisele feels left out. There have been arguments,” the source said.

Added a source close to Gisele: ‘€œThe biggest challenge they’€™ve been facing is dealing with the stress of the Deflategate situation.’€ …

“This summer was just a bit different,”€ a source close to Bundchen told the magazine. “Gisele had a lot going on, so they weren’€™t always in the same place at the same time.”

There. Are you satisfied now, human race?

Isn’t this what you wanted? Look I’m not buying the whispers out there that Brady and Gisele’s marriage is in trouble and all that. Those are just rumors spread by the kind of warped, joyless, soulless wretches who could find something ugly in a picture of an angel riding a unicorn over a rainbow. They look at the world’s most glamorous couple through the prism of their own charcoal briquette-like hearts and see only strife where the rest of us see only marital bliss.

But they’ve succeeded in one thing. And that’s causing problems with all this Deflategate nonsense. Tom and Gisele’s holy matrimony has endured the strain of the paparazzi, countless gossip columns, Tom’s injury in 2008, their various business enterprises and the butterfingers of Asante Samuel and Wes Welker. And through it all they’ve not only survived, but thrived. Happy to be together and raise their genetically perfect children.

But there’s only so much a marriage can take. Even with as much happiness and ideal bone structure as theirs has. And this Deflategate witch hunt has finally succeeded where all the other stresses and strains have failed. It’s a lot to endure, having one spouse being vilified, slandered and libeled in the press every day, no matter how close a couple is. And those malicious little succubi in the NFL and their execrable media lackeys who’ve carried this out because they wanted to do harm to Brady’s career are doing it to his personal life. Congratulations. I hope your proud of yourselves.

I have all the faith in the world Tom and Gisele will triumph over this the way they have every other challenge in their lives and their blessed union will go on forever. It’s just a sin to think they have to put up with this because the Ravens don’t know how to defend an ineligible receiver and the Colts can’t tackle anybody.


DraftKings Kick off this football season with the biggest fantasy football contest ever on DraftKings! Prizes worth $10 million are up for grabs, including $2 million for first AND $1 million for second! PLAY IN THE WEEK 1 MILLIONAIRE MAKER, CLICK HERE.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
Sean discussed his own firing from the Red Sox broadcast booth.

[0:01:35] ... who's next. I assume it's. You know a bunch of players as John Farrell a bunch of players the manager and and Steve got police got a column. Today endorsing Farrell that's all well and good ...
[0:04:19] ... on. Oh which is where we're ducky would do a better the Curt Schilling we're doing better than Donnie oh I remember the day. That. You were released by Nixon. Touched the curb unceremoniously. And Donna ...
[0:11:22] ... Dugard and hire somebody else reflects both very ripe all over the World Series because. Jackpot tonight so I really feel bad debut in the top spot in. They've been in addition to being enormous account that is really want to you guys know one of the really nice and clap on purpose that. Our games he's a great guy and you'd it's certainly not his fault he has to take it. Sorry to cut jobs their before she Sean McDonough but the other store were talking about this morning is Curt Schilling. ESPN has temporarily pulled him off the broadcast. Want to ask you you're thoughts on this because you are and he has been a broadcaster you know how politics work. I'll re surprised at all with the decision to its appall Curt Schilling off after he retreated dat who what's your take on that situation. You know I at December religion they're not much attention ...
[0:13:44] ... that radio announcers can make in a year you can still do college basketball he could still do. Because she couldn't do the British or on him masters but you know maybe could would you like ...

The guys discussed the latest on Orsillo.
Dean gave his thoughts on Schilling's tweet.
The top stories of the day as recounted by Gary Tanguay.
Callers gave their thoughts on Schilling.
Ben, Gerry and Gary talked about Schilling's tweet.

Welcome to Thursday’s Morning Mashup. For the latest news, start at our WEEI.com home page or click here for the top stories from our news wire.