Russia — A teenage schoolboy has told how he’s “so happy” and “boiling inside” after winning a month living with a porn star in an online competition.
Fresh-faced Ruslan Schedrin, said to be 16, could spend a month in a hotel with X-rated movie actress, Ekaterina Makarova, also known as Macy Ssens. …
Ruslan says he’s excited by the prospect of spending time in close quarters with Ekaterina, who he describes as having “good sizes.”
But his mum and sister are furious, insisting the prize is inappropriate for a 16-year-old, adding that he should be concentrating on his education.
I’ve got my own two kids to raise, so far be it for me to project my oppressive, Puritanical, Judeo-Christian values on poor fresh-faced Ruslan Schedrin here. But it seems to me this is one of those times when mother (and sister) know best.
Not that the kid needs to focus on his education. For all I know Russian schools are still banging the kids over the head with how evil the decadent West is and how Russia invented everything and landed a man on the moon and so on. No, I’m just saying that a hotel room with a porn star is no place for a 16-year-old. And as a former 16-year-old boy, I know of what I speak. When I was Ruslan’s age, I could barely drive a car, never mind a finely tuned piece of high-performance, precision Russian engineering like Ekaterina “Macy” Makarova. Not on your life. This kid will crash and burn worse than anything you’ll see in even the most horrific driver’s ed fear film.
He’ll be lucky to survive the ordeal. And even if he did, he’d be ruined for all other women forever. To continue to beat the metaphor to death, you can’t get behind the wheel of a Lamborghini your first time out and then expect you can just go buy a used Hyundai. Your porn stars are for experienced professionals, not noobs. So this lad needs to listen to his family, stay home, hit the books and stick to playing whatever passes for “Fallout: 4″ over there.
That said, I think we can learn a lot from a culture advanced enough to give away a month in a hotel with an adult film star as a contest prize. WEEI listeners lose their crap any time we give away a pair of Bruins tickets. We obviously have a long way to go as a society.