The piece pretty much reads like a People magazine profile you read on a toilet in the mid-’90s because the iPhone hadn’t been invented yet and you were desperate. The Lifetime Original Movie they did about Marla. How The Donald cheated on his first wife with her, putting her up in hotels so she’d be close by when needed. Her acting career that peaked with her role as “Screaming Woman” in the Stephen King epic “Maximum Overdrive.” But the real money shot comes toward the end:
The actual birth of Tiffany is an incredible Donald Trump moment to imagine. …
Marla took “a spiritual approach to her delivery,” her Ob-GYN told Lifetime. In a candle-filled hospital room, Marla listened to her New Age music and used aromatherapy and massage to ride the waves of her contractions. Marla said she and Donald “did a lot of kissing while I was delivering.”
You might not like Donald Trump’s policies. You might recoil at the things he says at his rallies. You may think he’s nuts. But you have to respect his delivery room game.
Making out with your wife in the middle of labor is the power move of all child-bearing power moves. Believe me, I was there for the birth of both of the heirs to my dominion, and the thought of macking on the Irish Rose was the furthest thing from my mind. Seriously, it was like a crime scene in there. All unidentifiable fluids and pain and me being in the midwife’s way. It was all I could do to keep it together, never mind getting my needs taken care of like he was doing.
For this reason alone, we should elect this man. Because someone so calm in a delivery room crisis that he’s making out with his hot gold digger second wife is the voice I want on the White House phone when it rings at 3 a.m.
Daily Mail — An obese model who is paid by men to eat wants to pile on a further 300 lbs to become the world’s fattest woman and be completely immobile.
Monica Riley, 27, from Fort Worth, Texas, already tips the scales at 700 lb but dreams of being too fat to move and is working towards hitting 1,000 lb so that she feels like a “queen.”
Her feeder boyfriend Sid Riley, 25, whose surname she has taken despite not being married, spends his days cooking Monica meals and even feeding her 3,500 calorie shakes lavished with double cream through a funnel.
He then rolls her over when her 91-inch stomach is full.
Among the things Monica — a model on Super Sized Big Beautiful Woman websites — is looking forward to about being immobile to is getting a bed with a built-in toilet which Sid will need to empty.
Call me a hopeless romantic, call me what you will. But I am a sucker for a beautiful love story, and this is one of the best I’ve heard. It’s like a Nicholas Sparks novel, if he ever wrote about morbidly obese couples who use dangerous amounts of binge-eating as foreplay.
It’s rare that you ever meet a couple who is perfect for each other, but Monica and Sid couldn’t be more ideally suited. She wants to be 1,000 pounds, he wants to love a woman who’s 1,000 pounds. It’s a match made in Super Sized Big Beautiful Woman website heaven.
Sure, some people will judge her. They’ll say Monica has an eating disorder or even a crippling mental illness that will be her undoing. But who are we to say? Everyone is entitled to their dreams. Granted, the one she’s chosen is reckless to the point of suicidal. But if she achieves it, then she will make herself and the millions of men paying her to down that double cream slurry happy. And isn’t that what life is all about? To bring a little joy into the lives of others, one 3,500-calorie funnel at a time?
So go for it, Monica. Keep supporting her, Sid. When you’re rolling her over onto her bed toilet so she can Take the Browns to the Super Bowl, then you’ll know you’ve found true love in this world. Bottoms up, you two crazy kids.
Wed, 09/07/2016 - 10:23am — Anonymous
The 9am hour of Kirk, Callahan and Mannix with some baseball talk.
Wed, 09/07/2016 - 10:21am — Anonymous
The 8am hour upload from Wednesday's show with Chris Mannix joining Kirk & Callahan. The guys talk Pats and Paul Finebaum's apology among other topics.
Wed, 09/07/2016 - 10:17am — Anonymous
Kirk reads the Wednesday political headlines and gets a little Springsteen talk in as well. Chris Mannix is alongside K&C as the auditioning host.
Wed, 09/07/2016 - 10:15am — Anonymous
Minihane and Callahan welcome Chris Mannix to the program as the Wednesday third-man in. The 6am hour upload here is heavy with political talk as Mannix attempts to take on Gerry's right-wing stances.
Wed, 09/07/2016 - 9:31am — Anonymous
After attempting to trade him to Philly then seeing that part fall thru, the #Patriots released OL Josh Kline, source said. Tough 24 hours
And so ends a bizarre day not only for now-former Patriots lineman Josh Kline, but for the proud history of NFL transactions.
Early Tuesday there were reports the Pats had traded Kline and a 2018 fourth-round pick to the Eagles for cornerback Eric Rowe. We asked Bill Belichick about it on Dale & Holley with a Thornton Chaser and he confirmed the deal, which he rarely does. Now Philly has rejected the Kline part of the deal, but the Patriots get to keep Rowe. Which to me seems sort of the equivalent of paying full price for a living room set, only to tell the sales guy to keep the sofa and love seat, you just want to take home the recliner. And the Pats think so little of Kline that they just cut him when they could have had him back for free.
But here’s where the story gets fun for Patriots fans. As usual, it’s when ESPN gets involved. Because even in a deal as one-sided as this, as the deal unfolded the gang over at the World Wide Leader managed to spin this as New England getting fleeced.
The newest member of the Troll Brigade is Joe Banner, who spent 20 years mismanaging the Eagles and Browns as president and CEO before joining the anti-Patriots jihad in Bristol. Joe is the author of this little gem:
spoke on ESPN about holding a player until Tuesday to trade & fooling a team into thinking u weren’t cutting him. Eagles just did it to Pats
To review: The Eagles were going to cut Eric Rowe. The 23-year-old, second-year, 6-foot-1 corner with 4.45 speed they used the 47th pick of the 2015 draft on. But holding their cards to their chest like riverboat gamblers, they bluffed Bill Belichick into trading them a valuable asset. And that asset is Josh Kline, an undrafted guard who, according to Football Outsiders, was personally responsible for an incredible 12 pressures on Tom Brady in the AFC championship game. But now Rowe is on the New England roster and Kline is the one looking for work. Still, the Patriots got hosed by the slick and savvy Philadelphia Eagles organization. Got it.
Well, welcome to the majors, Mr. Hobbs. It looks like this Joe Banner is going to be one to watch in the months to come. Because if we’ve learned one thing, it’s that there’s no better way to succeed at ESPN than some good Patriots bashing, no matter how wrong you are.
“This guy, he is one of the biggest patriots out there. Because he’s standing up for human rights,” Marshall said during an appearance on WFAN radio’s “Boomer and Carton” on Tuesday.
Esiason previously said Kaepernick’s protest was “disgraceful,” but Marshall disagreed.
“When I look at the American flag I see a bunch of fights. You know how much we have overcome,” Marshall said. “When you look at it the American flag is bigger than just one thing. And, you have the civil rights movement, you have sex trafficking, immigration law. There’s so many different fights there.”
Marshall said his fellow Jets have discussed the issue, and it’s a good discussion to have.
“This conversation is happening in every locker room across America and also across the world as well,” Marshall said. “This is a huge topic and I’m glad that [the conversation is] being had.”
Added Marshall: “I think President Obama said it best — that’s his constitutional right. That was Colin’s right and that’s all the other guy’s right. But I do think this is very thought-provoking for all. I think that the message was a little diluted because of how much respect a lot of us have for those that served . . . and gave us our freedoms, fought for our freedoms. But the message was clear.”
Meanwhile, Blue Jackets coach John Tortorella, the Concord native who is coaching the U.S. team at this month’s World Cup of Hockey, said he will not tolerate a similar protest from any of his Team USA skaters.
“If any of my players sit on the bench for the national anthem, they will sit there the rest of the game,” he said.
Elliott’s former girlfriend accused him of abusing during several instances, including an incident in a parked car in Columbus, Ohio, where Elliott had starred for Ohio State.
However, the Columbus City Attorney’s Office announced Tuesday it will not pursue charges against the running back due to “conflicting and inconsistent information,” including multiple witnesses who said they did not observe an assault in the car. The office also said Elliott cooperated in the investigation and provided affidavits and photos to support his case.
Said Elliott’s mother, Stacy, in a statement to ESPN: “I’m very relieved. I thank the prosecutors for being fair, for weighing out the evidence as it was presented. I want to thank Ezekiel’s legal team for its diligence.”
ON THIS DAY TRIVIA (answer below): Sept. 7, 1950, marked the major league debut of which Red Sox outfielder who would go on to have a movie made about him?
QUOTE OF THE DAY: “When you speak like that about us, it’s a slap in the face. I walk around sometimes, and I see Mexican people trying to earn a living in an honest way. And to hear somebody make those kinds of comments, it hits you. I think as Latin people we deserve better.” — Red Sox slugger David Ortiz, on Donald Trump’s criticism of Mexican immigrants
‘NET RESULTS: With two outs in the ninth inning and the bases loaded with Blue Jays, Yankees left fielder Brett Gardner makes a leaping catch at the wall to preserve a 7-6 victory (allowing the Red Sox to tie Toronto for first place in the AL East).
With the Cardinals down to their last strike in the top of the ninth against the Pirates, pinch-hitter Matt Carpenter hits a home run to tie the game, then Randal Grichuk and Jhonny Peralta follow with homers of their own for the win.
Braves rookie Dansby Swanson’s first major league home run is an inside-the-parker against the Nationals.
CSNNE's Patriots insider Mike Giardi joins Mut to discuss the Patriots as they NFL season is about to kick off. They talk about what life without Brady will be like, the Patriots trade for Eric Rowe, and their predictions for the first 4 games of the season.
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