According to the crack investigative department of Media Take Out, the website received a text that the fiancee of former UMass Minuteman/current New York Giants receiver Victor Cruz sent on a blast message to all his sidechicks. It would have been a lot easier if I could simply post the screencap, but this is a family website. Still, I feel I’d be derelict in my duty if I didn’t present it in some way to you, so I took the time to transcribe it, bad punctuation and syntax error and all. Here’s the PG-13 version:

Hello ladies, this is elaina, Victor cruz’s fiance. You know all about me and I seem to be the topic of conversation in all your conversations with Vic. I’m sure he told you many of things about us and how we don’t exist but given the fact that you all meet him in hotel rooms only, we all know that’s a lie, just as he tells me you all are w****s and mean nothing to him. … I figured since you all know about me, I should introduce each one of you to each other so we can all know who each other have been f****** for the past several months. So ladies meet one another and feel free to exchange notes [happy face emoji].

Wow. Talk about blowing up a guy’s spot. Obviously Cruz’s cheating game is strong, but Elaina Watley’s defense is even stronger. This is the scorned woman version of icing a kicker, just calling a timeout on all his tomcatting around and making it impossible for him to get the job done. With her on the case, he’s going to either have to stop buttering his toast on both sides, or get much, much better at it. Because this Elaina is good.

So sorry, sidechicks. It looks like Cruz is going to have be doing all his salsa dancing in the vertical position for a while.


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Warning: NSFW, language.

This is the video that’s gone viral of UConn’s newest Internet superstar, Luke Gatti of Bayville, New York (on Long Island). Luke showed up drunk with an open container of booze to the school’s student union, started demanding bacon and jalapeno macaroni cheese and would not take no for an answer. I challenge anyone to find a better example of a smarmy, insufferable, loathsome, pampered, elitist college puke than this kid. The pure condescension in his voice as he berates this poor manager is just so vile, all I can think is that he has a soul completely devoid of love and will die friendless. And the fact this manager didn’t pummel Gatti’s drunken ass the second he put his hand on him can only mean the man has a limitless reservoir of patience.

According to some reports, the denial of bacon and jalapeno macaroni and cheese isn’t the only thing that sets Luke Gatti off, as he was arrested twice in 2014 while going to UMass-Amherst. I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Gatti are mighty proud. They can look forward to a lifetime of their rotten kid’s future prospective employers looking up this video. He won’t be so condescending to people who work in college student union cafeterias when he’s begging one for a job.


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Dino, Gerry and Kirk recap the night at the Globies.

[0:08:39] ... hookah and yeah. I don't know any of this we had with Isiah Thomas for Celtics MVP oh yeah. A lot of candy at this level of digital form right. Brady 166. Into the show won't show up. In great at least loser jerk he showed up the progress while parts cut those both are true it's important. I have the honor tonight of presenting the Budweiser MVP award to Boston Celtics player and the winner of the globe he is. Isiah Thomas. It. Appreciate this boy he was hurt you or else I I trust there. I mean I don't act on my L ...
[0:10:40] ... anymore but still my man Michael Irvin Deion Sam's Caesars bugs. Replicas Curt Schilling. You know voted for someone other than his choice for president or that mandates that horrible meet. But he created he gave ...
[0:12:45] ... NFL network. Rich Eisen showed the photo had this to say about Dwight Freeney is ankle photograph. It's the most scrutinized dangled in sports since that Curt Schilling although this was curt Schilling's ankle there would be red food dye all Malia. Or you or you to me and I just said it in the ...
[0:14:04] ... that we're Sean and our. In oh or similar LA you know. Matt Damon. I would've said the same thing I would go back just a dose that we did it in any business she was ...

Salk doesn't think batting the ball should be a big story, he cried twice at that game.

[0:00:27] ... lions eight game and probably his job. And may have jump started Pete Carroll's Seahawks on to bigger and better things they have otherwise would have been one and three other right and other than Rodney. ...
[0:02:13] ... the ramifications. You know top to bottom in both organizations. Salt was epic game. Watch the game. Went home. And was absolutely floored by something. He witnessed and watched and heard when he turned on the ...
[0:02:50] ... caption does not move for higher power. Peach talking this guy's talking Steve young and I was like yeah I was completely blown away and so I'll admit there was a moment of didn't like not ...

We recap some of the dumbest things said by ESPN's personalities.

[0:01:25] ... if we're going to retire the trophy Americus. War Mike Ditka. Isn't. Ray Lewis pretty close to getting into that neighborhood as she's off to rates are great start with his resume of stupid I mean ...
[0:03:24] ... and we start with Tom Jackson hate the coach we went to Trent Dilfer. Who said the patriots aren't good anymore. I'm sort of unintelligible gibberish. From Ray Lewis who talked about the tight end defending the run yes he's telling grammys is not very good at defending the run and he's not coming suggestion to wheat and wait lists from this just because he's going to be nominated every year every month. For a long as she's on the air yet another opera to honor their bubble share now we goat to oh we come forward. Fast forward to deflate gate and man it was a bunch and none were as dumb and emotional. As the jobless Mark Brunell. I don't believe there's an equipment manager in the NFL that would on his own initiative deflated ball without their starting quarterbacks ...
[0:07:41] ... tweet I mean the compared racist to not do that and and Ray Lewis gainfully employed. Celebrated that he is again Stephen A Smith he can threaten players Cris Carter. Chris Ehrlich and tell all the ...
[0:16:49] ... the plane. But he dropped the ball right what do goal line Andy Reid played they would have the touchdown back I've given Bethesda. Come on that he knew he was gonna score you know we didn't fumbled it demands body across the goal line ya know the deal is like why UBS says Dick lizard technicalities. Why are you keeping a stickler for technicalities. In the that is that does that I've heard that probably does unseat Ray Lewis yes but rail get a next week a group you know he's on every Monday looks at the show like this is ...

All the latest stories brought to you by Kirk Minihane.
Dino, Gerry and Kirk look at the reaction to Jessica Mendoza on twitter last night including Rich Eisen's comment on Curt Schilling.



UKActor Brian Blessed has claimed he delivered a baby girl in Richmond Park — before chewing through the umbilical cord and licking the newborn’s face.

The well-known star said the bizarre incident took place in the south-west London park in 1963 while he was in the TV police drama Z-Cars.

Blessed, who at the time was in his late 20s, claimed he was running when he spotted a woman in labour beneath a tree.

“I rushed across to her and she was having the baby and had her legs open,” he told the BBC Radio 4 show Midweek this morning during a discussion about a man’s role in childbirth.

“She knew me in Z-Cars [and] she said ‘please Mr Blessed, I’m having a baby, I’m having a baby’.

“I said ‘breathe deeply’ and gradually I got the baby out so the head… Then I got the afterbirth out, then I bit it loose then I tied it into a knot, and then I just called for help and eventually an ambulance came. I was covered in blood, my shirt was covered in blood, I was wrapping her, wiping her, [saying] ‘it’s alright darling’. And I was licking the baby’s face.”

I’m not sure if most people are familiar with Brian Blessed’s work. I recognize him as one of those actors where you can say that if there’s a British person in a show or a movie, he’s the one. And it seems like he’s always playing the guy who’s strong, brave, wise and noble. Which, judging by this story, means he has to be the greatest actor in the world to pull it off because he is clearly and completely out of his damn mind.

I don’t mean to come off indifferent to the sufferings of women going into labor in public parks, but the last thing you’re going to find me doing is chewing through an umbilical cord. The second to last thing is licking the baby’s face. And the third to last is anything else he did here that doesn’t involve running as far away from the scene as fast as I can. I promise you I’d run for help. But once I found a pay phone (it was 50 years ago, after all) or pointed the nearest cop I could find in the direction of this mother to be, my work here is done.

Believe me, I’ve been in the delivery room twice. And even though I literally had skin in the game both times, it was the last place I belonged. Being there when a woman is having a baby is like being in the garage while the mechanics are talking about what’s wrong with your car. They’re experienced, they’re talking all sorts of jargon they know you can’t comprehend, and you’re basically just in their way, worthless and emasculated. Birthing a baby is a job for experts, not for bloggers/sports talk hosts and for sure not something crazy actors with a taste for human flesh should ever get involved in.

P.S. How does a story like this take 50 years to come out, anyway? If some woman had a baby delivered in Central Park by say, Donnie Wahlberg, and he chewed through the umbilical and licked all the schmutz off the newborn’s face, I think we’d hear about it before 2065. I love England, but that is one weird country.


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Dallas Cowboys official websiteOut of football for the last four weeks, and without any regular-season game action since Week 1 of 2014, Greg Hardy is back.

The Cowboys’€™ defensive end not only served his four-game suspension from the NFL, but met with the media for the first time since he signed with the club back in March.

To say Hardy seems ready to go would be an understatement. Full of energy, wit, personality and enthusiasm, the defensive end got straight to the point with his first question, which centered on the difficulty of being out for so long. …

I hope I come out guns blazin’€™. I’€™m full of excitement and full of juice,” Hardy said.

Congratulations to Greg Hardy and the Cowboys for this awesome news. Really. Neato, guys. Way to go. It’s so uplifting to hear all about his energy, wit, personality and enthusiasm. Especially coming in the wake of his suspension for what the Cowboys call “domestic abuse charges in 2014 that were later dropped.” Of course that conveniently leaves out minor details such as Hardy being found guilty in a trial that featured a dozen witnesses. He then appealed, and on the day of trial his victim, Nicole Holder, coincidentally found herself on a vacation in the Rockies and couldn’t make it back. But details, details.

But just as a public service, to flesh out the finer points the Cowboys website didn’t have room for, this is from the Charlotte Observer news report of Greg Hardy’s trial:

Hardy, Holder said, flung her from the bed, threw her into a bathtub, then tossed her on a futon covered with rifles. Holder said Hardy ripped a necklace he had given her off her neck, threw it into a toilet and slammed the lid on her arm when she tried to fish it out.

The 6-foot-4, 265-pound Hardy dragged her by the hair room to room, she said, before putting his hands around her throat.

“He looked me in my eyes and he told me he was going to kill me,” said Holder.

And now he’s ready to come back “guns blazin’ “! Get it? Guns! As in a futon covered with guns! Good one, Greg! He and the Cowboys should have just said he can’t wait to sack Tom Brady into a bathtub of hurt, rip the ball away from him and throw it in a toilet of pain, slam the lid down on his throwing arm or get his hands around his throat and threaten to kill him. That would have been really cool, too.

But the important thing isn’t who was found guilty of abusing whom. The takeaway here is that Hardy is full of excitement and juice and making guns references and the Cowboys are thrilled at his triumphant return. Just don’t stop reminding yourself that we were one Judge Berman decision away from Brady serving the same suspension this abusive, misanthropic, cowardly sociopath just did.


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Welcome to Wednesday’s Morning Mashup. For the latest news, start at our WEEI.com home page or click here for the top stories from our news wire.