Greenwich Time — Greenwich households boasting a net worth of $50 million or more can soon apply to join a gas and convenience store chain where amenities include a water park, steakhouse and designer clothing boutique.
The Guess Corp. that began in trading diamonds and has expanded into a host of luxury businesses is rolling out these ultra-high-end convenience stores doubling as country clubs. Greenwich will be among the first in the world to get one, according to a media statement.
Guess Petroleum, a Guess Corp. business division, will launch the brand called “GP Clubs.” …
They will be styled as four-story mansions offering business and video-conferencing centers, meetings rooms, sleeping suites, medical clinic and a salon.
A valet and concierge will meet arriving visitors and the first level will host the convenience store and a dining room. Employees will service guests’ cars during their visit, which includes gas and a hand wash and wax.
I never realized I wanted an upscale, super-exclusive gas station with a water park, steakhouse and ultra-high-end convenience store doubling as a country club until this very moment. And now I have to have one.
For too long I’ve been slogging around my town like a loser, searching around for lowest price per gallon and settling for some greasy Gas & Sip where I have to get out and pump my own fuel. And where the only thing “Members Only” about it is the brand of jacket worn by all the sketchy, unshaven old guys who hang around drinking bad coffee and scratching instant tickets.
It’s ridiculous that up until now I’ve never belonged to a private gas station club where I’d get to hang out with successful people who share my tastes for the finer things. Life is too short and I’ve worked too hard to attain my station to not enjoy the luxuries I deserve, GP Club-style. I never again want to miss out on a video conference, a rib eye, then a nice nap, followed by a massage and a facial while the valet washes and waxes my 2003 Ford Explorer.
So it’s so long, dirty, cheap gas station. I’m only $50 million away from getting the full service GP Club experience I deserve.