When I was a little kid, there was really only one thing I wanted out of life: the jetpack 007 that flew around in “Thunderball.” I mean, sure, as I got older I developed other, more mature desires. A nice wife. Loving kids. Stable home. A light saber. But the jetpack dream never left me. And now, thanks to Bubba Watson, I can not only have the wish fulfilled, but combine it with golf? Yes, please. This must be how George Costanza felt when he took a sandwich to bed so he could combine food and sex.

Here’s the thing, though: I don’t want one of these if everyone has one. And not just because I don’t trust other golfers riding carts around as it is. There are ignoramuses out there who drive those things like they’re playing “The Simpsons Road Rage.” Never mind dozens of drunken hackers buzzing around above the tree lines. I’d rather walk and carry.

No, mostly I want to be the only one because it’s not special if they’re all over the place. This jetpack is the golf equivalent of having a your own Gulfstream. It’s a status symbol. It shows you’re better than everyone else. In that way Leo DiCaprio jets off to Monaco to boink lingerie models by the dozen, I want to be flying off to find my tee shot in the nearest fairway bunker. Now that I’ve seen one, I can’t imagine ever golfing any other way.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton

Welcome to Wednesday’s Morning Mashup. For the latest news, start at our WEEI.com home page or click here for the top stories from our news wire.

Welcome to Wednesday’s Morning Mashup. For the latest news, start at our WEEI.com home page or click here for the top stories from our news wire.

WEDNESDAY’S BROADCAST HIGHLIGHTS:
MLB: Giants at Red Sox, 7:10 p.m. (NESN, ESPN; WEEI-FM)
MLB: Braves at Reds, 12:30 p.m. (MLB Network)
MLB: Mets at Cubs, 2:20 p.m. (ESPN)
MLB: Astros at Athletics, 3:30 p.m. (MLB Network)
MLB: Rangers at Angels, 10 p.m. (MLB Network)
WNBA: Sun at Wings, 12:30 p.m. (NBA TV)
WNBA: Stars at Storm, 3 p.m. (NBA TV)
Cycling: Tour de France, 8 a.m. (NBCSN)

AROUND THE WEB:

Ryan Fitzpatrick

Ryan Fitzpatrick

— Ryan Fitzpatrick’s stalemate with the Jets has shown no signs of ending. If anything, recent signs appear to indicate the chasm is growing wider with the start of training camp just one week away.

The Jets’ most recent offer (at least via reports) was a three-year, $24 million deal, but with only one year at $12 million guaranteed, which is a concern for the 33-year-old Harvard product who is coming off his best season (passing for 3,905 yards and 31 touchdowns).

According to ESPN’s Jeremy Fowler, there have been no discussions for the last few weeks. Tweeted Fowler on Tuesday night: Ryan Fitzpatrick and Jets have time to close gap, but I’m told as of now both sides haven’t talked in over a month.

Meanwhile, wide receiver Brandon Marshall, one of Fitzpatrick’s biggest supporters, said over the weekend that Fitzpatrick has stopped returning his texts.

“I don’t know what’s going on. To be honest, me and Fitz talk every day, all the time, but I texted him the last two weeks three times and there’s no response,” Marshall said on Michael Rapaport’s “IAM RAPAPORT” podcast. “The only thing that he can do to make this right is to say he was on vacation, ‘I was out of the country.’ It’s not like him. It’s scaring me right now. It’s scaring me that my guy hasn’t texted me back.”

Lastly, according to NJ.com, the lease on Fitzpatrick’s rented home in Chatham, New Jersey, has been made available ($9,500 per month for the eight-bedroom, nine-bathroom house). However, Fitzpatrick appears to still be living in the home for the time being.

— Browns running back Isaiah Crowell made amends for his recent anti-police social media post by attending the weekend funeral of one of the five police officers slain in Dallas.

Crowell — who had posted an illustration of a policeman having his throat slashed in response to the shootings of black men by police in Louisiana and Minnesota (he quickly deleted the post but not before it made its way around the web) — accepted an invitation from Dallas Fallen Officer Foundation president Sgt. Demetrick Pennie to attend the funeral for Patrick Zamarripa on Saturday in Fort Worth, Texas.

Wrote Pennie on Facebook: During the visit, he met with several police officers from across the country, who expressed their appreciation for him seeking forgiveness for his actions and having the courage to admit that he was wrong and making an attempt to redress the problem. Crowell expressed his deepest condolences for the loss of our officers and stated that he would be willing to return in the future to assist the survivors in Dallas in honoring the sacrifices of their loved ones.

Crowell, a 26-year-old who led the Browns with 706 rushing yards last season, previously offered to donate one game check of $35,000 to the Dallas Fallen Officer Foundation, and he released a written and video statement of apology.

“Based on my interactions, I am confident that the policing community now has a supporter in Mr. Crowell,” Pennie said. “Personally, I would like to commend Isaiah Crowell for the courage of principled accountability.”

— Tiger Woods is done for the 2015-16 PGA season, as his agent said the golf legend will not play in another event while continuing his rehabilitation following two back surgeries last year.

Agent Mark Steinberg said Woods has been making progress, but with only three PGA events (plus playoffs) remaining, he decided to turn his attention to next year. The PGA Championship confirmed Tuesday that Woods had withdrawn from the July 28-31 event, making it the fourth straight major he will miss.

Woods has not won a major since capturing the 2008 U.S. Open, his 14th major championship.

ON THIS DAY TRIVIA (answer below): On July 20, 1958, which Tigers hurler recorded the fourth (and most recent) no-hitter by an opposing pitcher at Fenway Park when he won the first game of a doubleheader, 3-0?

QUOTE OF THE DAY: “I was ready to just say, ‘OK, let’s go.’ Just seeing someone so successful at his craft. He’s a great ambassador for the game of football and the city of Boston. It’s great to be in the presence of such greatness. But at the same time, I knew I couldn’t let that distract me.” — Kevin Durant, on meeting Tom Brady as part of the Celtics’ sales pitch to get him to sign as a free agent

STAT OF THE DAY: 9-0 — Rick Porcello’s record at Fenway Park this season, after he pitched the Red Sox to a 4-0 victory over the Giants on Tuesday night

‘NET RESULTS: Josh Harrison triples and scores on an overthrow at third base to give the Pirates a walk-off win over the Brewers in the ninth inning.

Marcus Semien somehow is able to score from second base on Josh Reddick’s infield single in the 10th inning as the Athletics walk off against the Astros.

Pirates pitcher Jameson Taillon takes a line drive off his head but stays in the game.

An unsuspecting vendor in Oakland takes a foul ball off his rear end.

TRIVIA ANSWER: Jim Bunning

SOOTHING SOUNDS: Kim Carnes was born on this day in 1945.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Spar
We close out the show with the best soundbites of the day.
We close out the show with the best soundbites of the day.

First all, I didn’t realize they search for talent at the Calgary Stampede. I just assumed it was a bunch of lumberjacks,, Mounties and Zamboni drivers playing cowboy or something. But if were up to me, I’d stop the search right now and award whatever prize is to my girl Lizzie Munson right now.

As I’ve admitted before, I have a thing for chicks who play classical instruments. Maybe because I married a cello player or whatever, I can’t explain it. I just say that if you’re going to have a “thing,” you could go a lot creepier than that.

I also love this because a few weeks ago on Dale & Holley With a Shot of Thornton, I started a whole music argument. And I feel like Lizzie’s Nirvana treatment here has basically made my case that they’re better than Pearl Jam. They are when played on the cello, anyway.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
The four biggest instances of liars in sports
The four biggest instances of liars in sports

[0:00:25] ... the thought that pops into my network lives. People lie ahead the Thompson Twins not necessarily by the way did you rising. Light about the plagiarizing and that's what got me thinking about sports lies. And ...
[0:17:48] ... more advanced than Brent attendee. Jacoby Ellsbury remember 2007 positively way to Coco Crisp just started spit the bit right. He was Jacoby Ellsbury Hughes called up for game here game there. But wasn't called up for good until the September call ups and then as you said Jerry all of sudden. He's starting center fielder in the World Series this stuff like this it Bogart. Bogart who was called up the major leagues I think until. August 27. August in servant and he he's a starter for your in the World Series stuff changes. But so be does it do for you know dale Lewis and John Ferraro youth. You're gonna he's going to ...
[0:20:16] ... Undocumented I am not going to a what you would produce the Dustin Pedroia is gonna get traded doc. Not me because I don't I don't think no chance on daughters grew earth if there isn't her it's none but the state Dustin Pedroia suffers an injury. A season ending injury. Your laughter with Erin hill left to have brought Cole electorate Marco Hernandez probably be ...





Dale, Thornton, and Rob Bradford discuss the plagiarism allegations of Meliana Trump's speech at the RNC.

[0:05:14] ... Maloney at trump would not be. Hottest First Lady ever. Is it Tom Brady becomes president of the United States and global told her three years now you're taken just now changes now rarely. Yeah I'm ...
[0:13:54] ... honest they have they have so little organizational skills they'd make that New York Jets looks Smart. I disagree because I thought the organization of him coming out the undertaker mood music guests at that as Gerry pointed out with the with the civil his civil wet. In the fog. Is just like the Miami Hurricanes 1988 all over again and have. Like a couple of like three word phrases that he just kept repeat all the time ...
[0:15:40] ... he had that. Ill advised we're gonna have the night of champion Tom Brady in Ben Roethlisberger but that's what it's supposed to be right it's supposed to be a pep rally. That's what usually these things are the ...





Dale, Thornton, and Rob Bradford discuss the plagiarism allegations of Meliana Trump's speech at the RNC.

[0:05:14] ... Maloney at trump would not be. Hottest First Lady ever. Is it Tom Brady becomes president of the United States and global told her three years now you're taken just now changes now rarely. Yeah I'm ...
[0:13:54] ... honest they have they have so little organizational skills they'd make that New York Jets looks Smart. I disagree because I thought the organization of him coming out the undertaker mood music guests at that as Gerry pointed out with the with the civil his civil wet. In the fog. Is just like the Miami Hurricanes 1988 all over again and have. Like a couple of like three word phrases that he just kept repeat all the time ...
[0:15:40] ... he had that. Ill advised we're gonna have the night of champion Tom Brady in Ben Roethlisberger but that's what it's supposed to be right it's supposed to be a pep rally. That's what usually these things are the ...