In the NBA, the worst place to be is the middle of the pack. If you are not contending for a championship or tanking, in my mind, you are not relevant. Because of this, each week I will rank the top five and bottom five teams in the league. The rankings are based entirely on my own observations and opinions, so please feel free to call me names in the comments section.
1. Warriors (3-0)
Klay Thompson continues to score on and off the court. He dropped 41 points on the Lakers, signed a four-year max contract extension and, as recently reported, started dating Instagram celebrity Hannah Stocking. Personally, I would be more impressed if it was revealed Thompson was dating #AlexFromTarget. That dude got over 500,000 Twitter followers in about three days, which is damn impressive.
2. Grizzlies (4-0)
The Grizzlies are all about attitude, and it shows on the defensive end of the floor. They beat the Hornets 71-69 then held the Brow and the Pelicans to only 81 points. The Mike Conley injury is cause for concern, but the video of Tony Allen randomly smacking a cameraman is hilarious.
3. Spurs (1-1)
Even though they haven’t been spectacular during their first two games, the Spurs still are the reigning champs. Interesting storyline to pay attention to. The Spurs did not sign Kawhi Leonard to an extension before the deadline on Friday, allowing him to become restricted free agent at the end of the season. If I am Danny Ainge, I am offering Sugar K Leonard anything up to and including my daughter’s hand in marriage to get him to sign in Boston. Although there is little chance Pop and the Spurs let him go, a man can dream.
4. Rockets (5-0)
The Rockets have wins over the Lakers, Celtics, Jazz and 76ers. Four teams that will be featured in the latter half of this post. Next week they play the Spurs and the Warriors, so enjoy your time in the top five, Houston! Random interesting fact about Trevor Ariza, He has scored zero mid-range points this season. All 69 of his points have come off 3-pointers and layups/dunks.
5. Mavericks (2-1)
Dirk is an absolute machine. Not only can he can score at will from anywhere on the floor, but he apparently has the best flow on the Mavericks. I think he is my favorite non-Celtic in the league. On the opposite note, Chandler Parsons is quickly emerging as one of my least favorites.
5. Jazz (1-3)
After my last rankings, I was chastised for failing to mention Utah’s Rudy Gobert. I’ll just leave this here.
4. Magic (0-4)
The Magic are the Tennessee Titans of the NBA, and by no means is that a good thing. Right now the franchise is completely irrelevant. The big NBA nerds will try to convince you that Elfrid Payton is really fun to watch, but I refuse to watch to find out for myself.
3. Pistons (0-3)
After “The Manimal” Kenneth Faried said Josh Smith shot the Pistons out of a game, Smith responded by saying, “I don’t respond with nobody with dreadlocks who plays basketball. He’s a clown. Quote me on that.” While I respect the age-old practice of calling someone a clown and I am a HUGE fan of a irrational hatred of dreadlocks, its hard to take Smith seriously when Faried was absolutely right. Josh Smith shot the Pistons out of the Nuggets game, and he will continue to shoot his team out of games all season.
2. Lakers (0-5)
The Lakers have a real chance of opening the season with 10 straight losses, and there is no hope in sight. Over their next five games they play the Hornets, Grizzlies, Pelicans, Warriors and Spurs. Kobe still is a selfish and insufferable dink. Julius Randle is out for the season. Carlos Boozer is playing terribly. Linsanity more like OrLINary! Am I right? NAILED IT!
1. 76ers (0-4)
I need Nerlens Noel in Celtics green, and I needed it yesterday.
Follow Sam Packard on Twitter @SPackGuy.