If the Patriots pass defense was a steamship, it’d be the Titanic.

If it was an airship, it’d be the Hindenburg.

And if it was a starship, it’d be the Jefferson – just about the time Grace Slick and company recorded “We Built This City” and sent American pop culture spiraling down the toilet.

The Patriots pass defense is a disaster, in other words. And it’s a disaster best defined by one number. That number is 92.9.

Sound familiar, Patriots fans? It might. After all, 92.9 is Tom Brady’s career passer rating, the fourth best mark in NFL history. 

But 92.9 is also New England’s defensive passer rating this year – that is, it’s how the Patriots have performed if you apply the formula for passer rating to their defense.

In other words, the Patriots defense has played so poorly that it’s made opposing QBs look just as good as Brady – the Hall-of-Fame-bound, record-setting MVP of a quarterback who led the Patriots to three Super Bowl titles and a 16-0 season in 2007.

Actually, considering that the Patriots have faced the statistical equivalent of the most successful quarterback in NFL history each week, they’ve held up remarkably well at 6-4.

But it doesn’t change the fact that the team’s greatest weakness is not the inexperienced quarterback or a decimated offensive backfield. No. The team’s greatest weakness is an inability to shut down opposing passers – a New England mainstay back in the height of the dynasty in 2003 and 2004.

The 2008 Patriots field the worst collection of pass stoppers of the Bill Belichick era, a watered down version of a regular tasting championship defense.

Here’s the defensive passer rating of each Patriots team since 2000.

Year-Defensive Rating-Result

2000-86.0-5-11

2001-68.6-11-5, Super Bowl champ

2002-78.2-9-7

2003-56.2-14-2, Super Bowl champ

2004-75.3-14-2, Super Bowl champ

2005-87.8-10-6, lost div. playoffs

2006-66.1-12-4, lost AFC title game

2007-78.1-16-0, lost Super Bowl

2008-92.9-6-4, TBD

Sure, Rodney Harrison’s injury hurt the team. But the pass defense wasn’t very good when he was on the field this year, either.

Certainly, the loss of cornerback Asante Samuel in free agency hurt, too. But the team that paid big money for him, the Eagles, was 8-8 last year and is 5-4-1 this year. And they can’t even beat the Bengals. So Samuel hasn’t exactly changed fortunes in Philly, especially considering the gaudy $57 million deal he signed to play there.

Trouble starts at the top

The problems with the Patriots run much deeper than two players. The problems are several years of neglect and mismanagement of the defensive secondary that are bearing rotten fruit here in 2008.

The last time New England produced a great defensive draft was back in 2003, a class highlighted by defensive end Ty Warren in the first round, safety Eugene Wilson (a big-hitting safety on Super Bowl-winning teams before being plagued by injuries) in the second and Samuel, a great gem uncovered in the fourth round.

It’s no coincidence that the Patriots won 34 of their next 38 games immediately after acquiring this draft class, including two Super Bowls – and it’s no coincidence that the Patriots played some of the best pass defense in franchise history.

The 2004 draft yielded another defensive blue-chipper, No. 1 pick Vince Wilfork, who’s been playing Pro Bowl football at what most observers consider the most physically demanding spot in the NFL, nose tackle.

Great drafts always yield immediate results on the field; conversely, poor drafts always lead to problems on the field, as the Patriots are learning the hard way here in 2008.

Since drafting Wilfork back in 2004, the Patriots have committed one draft gaffe after another, particularly in the defensive backfield.

In fact, here’s a look at every corner and safety the Patriots have drafted since unearthing Samuel – their last great find in the secondary – in the fourth round of the 2003 draft. It’s not a pretty picture.

2004

Safety Guss Scott (third round) – Started his only two NFL games with the Patriots in 2005; was out of football by 2006.

Safety Dexter Reid (fourth round) – Started two games with the Patriots in 2004 before two uneventful years with the Colts in 2005 and 2006.

Cornerback Christian Morton (seventh round) – Never played in a Patriots uniform; spent four years as a backup with the Falcons, Redskins and Panthers.

2005

Cornerback Ellis Hobbs (third round) – Started New England’s last 28 regular-season games and has been a special teams stud, too. But with 8 INTs in four-and-a-half seasons, nobody will confuse him with Asante Samuel, let alone Mike Haynes.

Safety James Sanders (fourth round) – A serviceable safety, Sanders has started 23 of New England’s last 24 games, with 7 picks in his four-year career.

2006

Cornerback Willie Andrews (seventh round) – In a very bad draft that went almost exclusively to offense, the Patriots waited until their last pick to grab a player in the defensive backfield; Andrews spent two years as a back-up and special teamer with the Patriots and is now out of football.

2007

Safety Brandon Meriweather (first round) – Forced into a starting job following Harrison’s injury, Meriweather has shown some promise, but has also shown a lot of missed tackles and mental mistakes.

2008

Cornerback Terrence Wheatley (second round) – Made six appearances with the Patriots before being placed on IR earlier this week.

Cornerback Jonathan Wilhite (fourth round) – A back-up and special teamer who made 8 tackles in New England’s win over St. Louis.

Hobbs and Sanders have been legitimate NFL starters, though nobody’s about to sign them to a $57 million deal if they’re left out on the open market. The jury’s still out on Meriweather, but there’s no doubt he’s yet to live up to the billing of a No. 1 pick, and it took an injury to Harrison this year for him to crack the starting line up on a team desperate for help in the secondary.

The Patriots have fared just as poorly in free agency. This summer, they brought in safety Tank Williams and corners Jason Webster, Lewis Sanders and Fernando Bryant. Back in 2007, their off-season signings in the secondary included Tory James and Eddie Jackson. Sanders is the only one who even suits up in a Patriots uniform this year. Deltha O’Neal was signed just before the start of the season and has started eight games at cornerback, but has yet to distinguish himself.

In fact, you have to go back to that seminal 2003 off-season, when the Patriots signed Rodney Harrison from San Diego, to find an impact free agent in the secondary. Again, it’s no coincidence that the Patriots harvested so much talent in the secondary that year (Wilson, Samuel, Harrison), and then went out and fielded the best defense in franchise history while winning back-to-back Super Bowls.

Since then, there’s been one personnel mistake after the other – and now it’s yielded a defense so bad that the Patriots face the equivalent of Tom Brady each and every week.

Brady’s loss, meanwhile, means Patriots fans seem willing to give the team a mulligan here in 2008.

But the team’s fortunes in 2009 will rest on more than just his return. It will rest on the ability of New England’s widely praised brain trust to rebuild the once mighty secondary after five years of neglect by management and, this year, abuse by its opponents.

Kerry J. Byrne is the publisher of ColdHardFootballFacts.com. His self-congratulatory column will appear here each Wednesday during football season. Send fawning praise, death threats or pictures of your 19-year-old sister to contact@coldhardfootballfacts.com.