There are 32 days until the 2012 elections. I expect it will get ugly, as it inevitably does. Or uglier, I suppose.

Let Mitt Romney attack President Obama for his failures, let Obama bash Romney for his inconsistencies and let it get personal and gossipy and childish and let us act offended and outraged when the mud is flying fastest while we quietly enjoy it. Without the soap opera stuff all we've got is two guys talking about debt ceilings and Simpson-Bowles and who needs that?

But, I wonder, will it be too much for Obama and Romney and Scott Brown and Elizabeth Warren and all the debate moderators and journalists and advisors and campaign managers to keep their hands off of sports for the next month?

Or will they continue to do what politicians have done for years, which is pretend to care (it's called pandering, something politicians work really, really hard at) about the NFL and NBA and MLB and NHL because they think we care if they care, even if they've proved time and time again that they couldn't be more clueless when it comes to all things sports?

There is this desperate need for politicians to seem like they are just folks, as comfortable sitting at a bar talking sports as they would be at a $10,000 a plate fundraiser at the home of some billionaire in Malibu. And this isn't a Democratic or Republican issue, either. It's an insecurity issue.

John Kerry was embarrassed that his wife is worth millions and millions and millions of dollars, so he overcompensated by sometimes trying his "common folks" impression on the campaign trail. Mitt Romney, also embarrassed by his wealth (for reasons unknown to me, if you are running for president based on your business experience I would think it would be better to have been successful than a failure), thinks he can make people forget about his houses in Colorado and La Jolla and Park City and Lake Winnipesaukee by rolling up his sleeves and wearing jeans when he campaigns at places where he thinks he's supposed to be wearing jeans with his sleeves rolled up.

Politicians, of course, are actors. Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, Scott Brown, Elizabeth Warren, all of them (I mean, have you watched the "On The Road" ads with Brown?). And the ones who don't seem like actors are just really good actors. They are playing a character, plain and simple. And the people who are paid a lot of money to develop that character -- think James Carville, Karl Rove and the like -- believe it's essential that the character is, above all, likable. To the advisors, being the guy you'd rather have a beer with might be as important as being the guy you trust most when dealing with Iran (this also explains the blizzard of "When I was in Missouri, I talked to a guy named Ralph" stories we have to suffer through from these guys during stump speeches and debates -- it's all about trying to seem connected to people they have no connection to).

And that's why so many politicians have tried so hard to convince us that they are real sports fans, just like us. The reality? They second they start talking -- and it's usually off script, which is death for these guys -- about anything sports related they are revealed as complete and total phonies. 

We know sports frauds, we really do. You go to a party, or talk to another parent at a school function and it doesn't take long. And it doesn't take much, either. Just a simple "The Red Sox should fire all the players," or "You know, I didn't get a chance to watch the Patriots on Sunday," or "I'm a Yankees, Lakers and Packers fan" and you know what the score is. 

But that's OK. That's just another person trying to make small talk, there's nothing nefarious going on. But that's not the case with politicians -- they are trying to fool you. If I can act like a sports fan, even though I'm really not, they will like me. And if they like me, they'll vote for me. Also this: They are terrified that their opponent is closer to being that "regular guy" and that can't happen.

So you end up with John Kerry and "Lambert Field" and stories of his favorite Sox player, Eddie Yost (who never played for the Red Sox) and “Manny Ortez," and Joe Biden telling a crowd in San Francisco that the Giants were going to the Super Bowl, confused that there was a Giants team in both New York and San Francisco, Martha Coakley calling out Curt Schilling as a "Yankees fan," Newt Gingrich talking about watching "watching college championship basketball" (again, what real sports fan uses language like that?) in a January debate and Elizabeth Warren not knowing what years the Sox won the World Series and Obama, who the media has breathlessly told us is a die-hard White Sox fan, not able to tell Rob Dibble the name of one White Sox player he admired growing up.

(Obama's defense was that he was an A's fan as a kid and became a White Sox fan when he moved to Chicago, which is a perfect answer for a politician but an indictment if you are an actual sports fan. Who the hell casually changes loyalty like that? People with no investment, of course.)

Which is fine. I don't care if Obama or Romney or Paul Ryan (who compared the NFL replacement officials to the Obama Administration last week, and yes it was as clunky as it sounds) or Biden or Warren or Brown or Menino (beyond parody) watch or care about sports. And I don't know anyone who cares, either. They just want competent, honest people who can fix a disastrous economy, avoid unnecessary wars, make sure we can afford to send our kids to college, maybe keep gas under $4 a gallon. 

Worry about that for the next 32 days, OK? When you are asked about Bobby Valentine or a college playoff system or Tim Tebow or the Miami Heat or the World Series or anything else that has anything to do with sports just politely decline to comment. Tell whoever is asking that there is an election a month away, and real issues to discuss. Tell them that there is no reason to insult the intelligence of voters by wasting their time with opinions that would be half-informed at best and tell them that a good voter wouldn't and shouldn't care, just as a good voter wouldn't and shouldn't care which candidate John Elway or Jack Nicklaus or Bob Cousy or any celebrity is endorsing. If you are voting for someone because John Elway -- who is famous for being able to throw a ball -- thinks it would be best it might be time to give up the privilege.

But none of this will happen. I guarantee, over the next 32 days, one of these candidates will say something about sports that will be mocked, that will confirm what we already knew, that will prove what happens when you mix massive insecurity with the desire to be liked plus that inability to admit that you might not know everything. 

Just ask Mike McGwire and Sammy Sooser.