One man's running Super Bowl diary ...
6:34 p.m. (EST): Antonio Brown with a 37-yard return to start. Give me a minute, I'm still in shock after watching Mike Tomlin slap Chris Myers on the ass after their pre-game interview.
6:36: Three and out. You know why, right? Because Ben Roethlisberger was at a piano bar 114 hours ago.
6:38: Packers take over after near fumble on punt. Troy Aikman: "This is what it's all about." Nothing gets past this guy.
6:40: My three-year old daughter wanders in. "Where's Toms Brady?" she asks. Since I still silently blame her for jinxing the Giants' game by breaking into a hysterical fit of laughter right after the Tyree catch (in her defense, she was 11 months old) I decide to ignore her.
6:42: Jordy Nelson drop means one thing -- first set of commercials.
6:45: And 0-for-3 on those.
6:46: A 15-yard run for Rashard Mendenhall. So if you took age of Mark Sanchez's girlfriend over longest run of the night in a prop bet you are still alive.
6:48: Lousy play call for the Steelers there -- a tough pass to Heath Miller on third and less than a yard? Third punt of the game.
6:51: And by the way, Chris Myers and Pam Oliver as dueling sideline reporters won’t confuse anyone with Bird/’Nique.
6:57: The Rock as the bad guy in the fifth "Fast and Furious" movie? We have our answer, at least, to the question that as plagues us since 1997: What would ever happen if Samuel L. Jackson said no?
6:58: I smell a huge NY Post story tomorrow: A-Rod was just shown being fed popcorn by someone who looks exactly like Cameron Diaz's mother.
6:59: Honestly, A-Rod would have been better off if the camera had caught him taking steroids in the bathroom. I'm thinking this is a rock bottom moment.
7:00: First score of the game -- perfect pass from Rodgers to Nelson. Nine-play, 80-yard drive. 7-0 Packers.
7:04: One thing we learn every year watching Super Bowl commercials: Talking babies = gold. If they could ever get an actual talking baby and an actual talking animal you would have the biggest sitcom in history. Throw in a wacky gay neighbor and you’ve got 10 years on the air.
7:07: Roethlisberger channels his inner Todd Collins, a terribly underthrown ball that Nick Collins picks and returns to the house for a 14-0 Packers lead. To be fair, Big Ben was mauled by Howard Green on the play.
7:10: And by the way, the flag on Collins for excessive celebration after the TD is a joke. The guy just scored a touchdown in the Super Bowl.
7:14: Roethlisberger slow to get up after slipping on a throw. Don't worry, he's the Paul Pierce of the NFL. Every injury is a three-act play. End of first quarter. The highlight so far the Steelers? Uh, they probably didn't actually see the Diaz/A-Rod popcorn exchange.
7:16: Why is it that I feel lower when I go to GoDaddy.com to see the rest of the commercial than I do when I look at actual pornography? And we get our second Cameron Diaz sighting.
7:17: Sorry, I'm being told that was Joan Rivers.
7:20: Steelers moving -- first down at the Green Bay 22. Too early to panic, but you get the feeling that a field goal keeps momentum with the Packers.
7:21: And the Steelers are held. Shaun Suisham kicks a 33-yard field goal. 14-3. Early MVP? Nick Collins, with the TD and big third-down tackle to stop the last drive.
7:23: The only way I'm watching "Transformers 3" is if Shia LaBeouf gets stuck by a large immovable rock in a narrow canyon in Utah and has to cut his arm off. Not the character, I mean the actual actor.
7:24: Oh good, John Travolta is here. Thanks, Fox.
7:27: It's kind of fun listening to Joe Buck pretend to not be excited about the Black Eyed Peas. Keep up the smug angle, Joe. That's why we love you.
7:30: Steelers hold the Packers. 14-3 with just under 10 minutes left in the second quarter. Brutal game, brutal commercials. Can't we just get to "Glee?"
7:34: Mini-Darth Vader commercial has a Tiger Woods in 2000 lead over the rest of the ads in the second quarter. Tremendous. I'll never buy a Volkswagen but I think I know I'd buy a Mini-Darth Vader.
7:36: Mewelde Moore is kind of like Kevin Faulk, except not quite as good and without a receding hairline. Eight-yard carry for a first down and the Steelers have another drive going.
7:37: Antwaan Randle El with a 13-yard catch on 3rd-and-6 to move into Green Bay territory, then celebrates like one of those maniacs who get a free car from Oprah.
7:40: Roethlisberger has been hideous in this game. Another pick -- this time Jarrett Bush makes the play. What a game plan by Dom Capers. If this keeps up he'll have to donate his toupee from this game to the Hall of Fame.
7:42: You know a really good way to end any comparisons to Tom Brady? Put up a 29.8 passer rating in a Super Bowl blowout loss.
7:45: Wow. A bullet from Aaron Rodgers to Greg Jennings -- who takes a wicked hit from a late-arriving Troy Polamalu -- for 21 yards and it's now 21-3. Three defenders in on that play, but the pass was perfect. Anyone know where James Harrison is, by the way?
7:47: Aikman: "The Steelers are down right now to the Packers." Does Fox lock him up to an extension at halftime?
7:51: Charles Woodson is hurt with a shoulder. Sorry, thought someone had to be Al Michaels tonight.
7:52: Tweet from @Milledgevillepolice: "We destroyed evidence for this?"
7:54: How, exactly, did Polamalu win Defensive Player of the Year? Has the guy made a big play all year?
7:56: Hines Ward with a catch at Green Bay seven, and then another catch in the back of the end zone. Great job by Roethlisberger to make TD throw out of the pocket. Much-needed score and a totally different game at 21-10. And yes, Ward is a first-ballot Hall of Famer.
7:58: Nick Collins to the locker room. Now three guys in the secondary are out. I smell a Hank Poteat/Troy Brown backfield in the second half.
8:00: Packers run once and head to the locker room. Well, except for Capers, who is a massive Black Eyed Peas fan. 21-10 at halftime.
8:03: Did Jimmy Johnson turn into Larry Hagman or is it the other way around?
8:05: Great, some Packers are miked up for the Super Bowl. Bet this'll be revolutionary … or 30 seconds of guys yelling in the tunnel before the game. Oh well.
8:09: It appears that the bad guys from "Flash Gordon" have been allowed to sing at halftime of the Super Bowl.
8:12: And the only guy with long hair to make an impact at Super Bowl XLV … Slash! But, alas, no guitar is loud enough to hide the disaster that is Fergie, as she murders "Sweet Child O' Mine." I'm actually feeling angry for Axl Rose right now. If they break out "November Rain" I'm turning off the TV.
8:17: Things I never thought I'd say in my life: "Oh, good, Usher is here."
8:18: Four songs, two covers. Raymond Berry just replaced the Black Eyed Peas with Steve Grogan.
8:20: Nick Collins is expected to return. No word on Woodson or Chris Myers.
8:29: No analysis on the injuries from Aikman -- instead he tells us (twice) that the TD at the end of the first half for the Steelers was "big."
8:32: Charles Woodson out with the collarbone injury. No comment from Aikman on that, but he does tell us that the Packers are trying to avoid penalties. I'm higher on the Black Eyed Peas right now.
8:34: Packers have a third-and-five at their own 25 … and James Jones drops an easy one. Could have been a huge gainer. Just under 13 minutes left in the third quarter and
8:36: We can make sure that the elimination of the sideline reporter is part of the 2011 collective bargaining agreement, right? Just put a Twitter feed on the sideline.
8:38: After a bogus face-mask call, the Steelers take over at midfield. Nice fodder for the "These Games are Fixed!" crowd.
8:40: Final Black Eyed Peas Note: I'm retiring my Auto-Tune.
8:42: Three big runs by Mendenhall, Roethlisberger and Redman get the Steelers to the Green Bay eight-yard line. And then Mendenhall runs it in for the score. A 50-yard drive, all on the ground, and it's 21-17. Remember that James Jones drop.
8:46: First real crowd noise of the night as Packers take over with 10 minutes left in the third quarter. Finally feels like a game.
8:47: Another drop, this time by Nelson. Dan Marino would have ripped off five chinstraps by now.
8:48: James Harrison (guess his flight was also delayed) with a sack and it sure sounds like Heinz Field in Dallas.
8:50: "Pirates of the Caribbean 4: Because We Were Contractually Obligated."
8:53: Steelers' MVP right now? I guess Mendenhall (11 carries, 56 yards and a TD) or Hines Ward (four catches, 43 yards, a TD).
8:55: Another third-down conversion for Kevin Faulk Moore. Pittsburgh back into Green Bay territory with 6:50 left in the third.
8:58: First sign of life in the second half from Packers. Clay Matthews with a pass deflection and then a sack from Frank Zombo. Pittsburgh has to punt.
9:00: And by "punt" I mean Mike Tomlin makes the single worst decision of this game so far: Shaun Suisham misses a 52-yard field goal attempt by about, oh, 52 yards left. His longest of the season was 47 yards. Why not just punt and pin the Packers in? Now Green Bay takes over at midfield.
9:04: Nothing from Aikman on the field-goal decision. Instead, he tells us about Tomlin's energy. Fantastic.
9:08: The Steelers' defense steps up and holds, but the offense goes three-and-out. Roethlisberger sails one a good five feet over Mike Wallace's head. I'd give Roethlisberger a D+ to this point, he's missed some throws that have really hurt Pittsburgh and has been dramatically outplayed by Rodgers. First-and-10 for Green Bay at the Pittsburgh 12.
9:12: A Green Bay challenge -- looks to me that Swain did make the catch but it was ruled incomplete. I'm always wrong on this though. Trying to correctly predict replay challenges and figure out who it is on "Guess That Ass" are my two great weaknesses.
9:14: Incomplete. The streak continues.
9:16: Green Bay is out of timeouts, in third quarter of a four-point game. I'm thinking Dan Lauria won't be starring in "McCarthy."
9:19: Third quarter done and it's 21-17. Not a classic, but if you grew up in the 1980's you'll never throw out a close Super Bowl.
9:23: And Mendenhall fumbles to start the fourth quarter. If I told you before the game that the Steelers have three turnovers (Green Bay has none) and Rodgers would have a passer rating of 100.7 would you think it would be a four-point game?
9:26: And Jordy Nelson with the hat trick … but makes a 38-yard catch to the Pittsburgh two-yard line on 3rd-and-10. Can you win the MVP with three drops?
9:30: Second touchdown for Greg Jennings, third TD pass for Rodgers. Packers take 28-17 lead with 11:57 left in the fourth quarter.
9:34: Not sure how Rodgers does this. I mean the guy isn't even a gunslinger. I bet Favre is drawing up some evil revenge plans in the dirt right now.
9:36: It's becoming increasingly likely that the last team to beat the Packers in the 2010 season will be the New England Patriots.
9:39: Walt Anderson just announced a holding call on Flozell Adams. He also announced that the Defensive Player of the Year Award has been stripped from Polamalu.
9:42: Mike Wallace (is any player in the league faster?) with a TD catch on a terrific throw from Roethlsiberger. 28-23 with 7:34 left and they'll go for two.
9:43: Randle El -- an option QB in college -- gets the pitch from Roethlsiberger and scores the two-pointer. Just a field-goal game with 7:34 remaining.
9:46: We can finally put the "I just watch for the commercials" line to bed, right? Another hideous year of ads. I'll give you Mini-Darth as a classic and that's it.
9:48: Man, Aikman is just vacant. Nothing in the way of criticism on anything. How about questioning WHY the Packers have completely abandoned the run? You can even agree with it -- just bring it up.
9:50: Play of the Game: Rodgers with a 31-yarder to Jennings on 3rd-and-10. Another bullet over the middle and they are back in Pittsburgh territory with 4:50 left.
9:52: James Jones abuses William Gay in one-on-one coverage and hauls in a perfect back-shoulder throw from Rodgers. First-and-goal at the nine.
9:55: Steelers' defense doesn't break, holding Green Bay to a field goal. You want to put an end to the "Where Does Roethlsiberger Stand" debate? Well, the Steelers are down 31-25 with 2:07 left. If he gets them in the end zone it is hello to the all-timers table.
9:58: My favorite "Glee" character? Either the kid with the dad who doesn't understand him or the guy who likes to sing and dance.
10:01: Pittsburgh drive starts at the Green Bay 13. Brady has zero Super Bowl TD-winning drives, can Roethlisberger put together his second?
10:03: Fourth-and-five. This NFL season should come down to Roethlisberger, you know that?
10:04: Incomplete! Aikman and Buck calling for a pass interference, but it wasn't even close. Big fail for Big Ben. The Packers were absolutely the better team tonight.
10:06: Pam Oliver has had nothing to do all night but sit around and figure out what to ask players in post-game interviews. Her question to Jennings: "Wow, taking it in … I can't even begin to, you know, wow." Twitter feed would've done better.
10:08: And that's the NFL season. The irony: The team that won the first Super Bowl has won the last. Maybe a stretch, but I do think we'll see a work stoppage. Let's set the over/under for a return at Week 6 and start worrying about Lackey and Beckett.