As you all know, I have a knack for pissing people off, whether it’s in print or over the air. But I think the medium where I do the most damage is radio. There’s just something about it. Did you hear the caller to Dale and Holley on Wednesday who said that listening to me is like getting crabs through the radio? Wow. I had never heard anything like that before. As I said to Michael, no one ever got an STD in Happyland until I came along.

Then again, if you want to have a sportsgasm, you have to be willing to suffer the consequences.

But who am I kidding? The hate comes from everywhere, as you’ll find out in this week’s epic edition of the d-bag mailbag….

–

Felgy,

This is probably the last time I write or read you, because you are a wuss. It's a shame. God, you love to play the angle; should have been a golfer, because golf is for guys who can't play physical and lay up.

Even though you never came out (in print) and stated that youthful or not, this club should be in the Wales Conference Finals (Felger: Um, don’t they call it the Eastern Conference now?). I will say you're right (to an extent). Kessel ain't back, he just finally realized what it takes to play real playoff hockey. The forwards haven't been skating (neither had the D) and they finally decided to hit in Game 5 (which is the key to winning).

The truth is, while this club has loads of talent, from Games 2-5 they didn't use their muscle. At some point, you wondered if they gave a (expletive) the way they skated so half-ass into the corners and on the fore-check. Christ, if I had skated like that, my coach would have made me skate suicides until I gave it everything I had in every stride.

Regardless, they responded (yet you laid the groundwork for a too-little, to-late article on Wednesday, which is a good point...for (expletives)). I’ve got the (guts) to take a “pro” stance. I am hanging my hat that this team has heart, can find itself and fight its way through this thing – whether it needed an enemy (Walker/Maurice) or realized its hotshot skills and hot dogging wasn't enough.

You have become such a piss-ant. And it comes through in everything you do. You know your stuff, but always want to call everybody out rather than lead the battle charge to victory. It's not being “rah-rah.” It’s being “gung-ho.” Yet you just play the “con” side. There is a reason they call it con, because it's negative. Convict, converse, contrary...that's your new nickname – “the Con.” You were right when you told me Will McDonough you ain't. Not because McDonough would knock a guy’s lights out, but because he wasn't a whiney (expletive) when he wrote, and he could give you the keys to victory – not the reasons for loses.

It's like Lee Marvin told his piss-ant protégée after he threw him off the train in the end of Emperor of the North Pole, “You had the juice, kid, but not the heart and they go together. You're all gas and no feel, and nobody can teach you that, not even A-No.1.”

Ya ain't got the heart Felgy.

Erik

A: A well-written and thorough character assassination. One of the best I’ve read, even if I don’t get all the references (Emperor of the North Pole?). But just for the record, Erik, I picked the Bruins to win the series in five.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Subj: Why, oh why, Felger?!?!

Felger, where to start?

I have been ripping you for a while now, you self-loathing Bruins fan. Whether it was their lull in the early part of this calendar year, spotty play by Manny Fernandez or a Game 5 Eastern Conference Semifinal, you only write columns with an overall negative tone.

HOWEVER, I realized when I heard your voice this morning that I have been viewing my thoughts about you all wrong. I became elated when I realized that you don't get to enjoy a Cup run that gives the Bruins as good a chance (if not better) than any other team to win a championship. You are the scorned fan that everyone before 2004 had become accustomed to with the Red Sox.

Win or Lose, break the wall down and enjoy the game and the progress the Bruins have made as individuals, a team and organization this season. Be a real fan of hockey! I fear you won’t, and that you never will. It’s okay though. Those of us up in the 15th row of sec 327 can’t hear you anyways.

Alex

Ipswich

A: Alex has a point here. I do fear the worst when it comes to the Bruins. How could I not? Have you been watching the last 15 years? Anyway, I, like most of you, am picking the Bruins in Game 7. I just don’t think it’s a lock.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Subj: Felger….You idiot, Part II

How's that 4th line you hockey ignoramus...I am begging you...SHUT UP ABOUT HOCKEY....YOU KNOW NOTHING.

Jay

Maine

A: I missed Part I, Jay. Could you please resend?

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Felgy,

It’s sad when a team like the Bruins is SO dominant that you need to make up instances of weakness to fabricate a dissenting opinion. Then again, it's that kind of fraudulent sensationalist journalism we've come to know and love from you.

Live long and prosper,

Miz

Weymouth

A: You think the Bruins were “SO” dominant in Game 6, Miz? Really? You mean the same team that got out-shot, 33-16, out-hit, 40-22, and lost the time of possession battle (if such a thing existed)? Okay, if you say so. If the Bruins dominated that game then I’d hate to see an evenly-played one.

–

Felger,

Saying a team is better because of shots is like saying a baseball team is better because of hits. It doesn't matter if you have 10 singles in a game, if you can't score a run, and the other team hits one home run. Maybe use scoring opportunities or something, but shots is ridiculous.

Also, nice call on your “superior” goalie Cam Ward the other day. He's looked great the last two games, letting in almost 10 goals against an “inferior” team.

Mark Quinnan

A: No, shots is not a definitive stat. But at least it’s something to quantify what my eyes showed me. By the way, Mark, the Bruins out-shot the Hurricanes by a 40-19 margin in Game 5, which they won 4-0. Did the shot total accurately portray the tenor of that game? Seems so. Same with Games 3 (41-23, Carolina) and 4 (31-21, Carolina). Just saying.

As for the goalie thing, saying Cam Ward is superior to Tim Thomas isn’t a “call.” It’s probably closer to a fact. But that doesn’t mean Thomas can’t win on Thursday. Again, I’m predicting he will.

–

Felger,

Why aren't you taking into consideration Tim Thomas' domination? He is also on the Bruins. He stopped 31-of-33 shots. That sounds like domination compared to Ward only stopping 15-of-19!

Michael Powers

A: Thomas was clearly the better guy in Game 6. In fact, I think it was my favorite Tim Thomas performance of all time. If he can repeat it in Game 7 we’re in business.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Subj: Felgy and the Bruins

Once again Michael Felger has his head up his….Now he says he doesn’t really know the league, but that doesn’t stop him from being a yahoo, just like those Carolina fans. Here are my points:

Last week Felgy was extolling the virtues of Cam Ward and denigrating Tim Thomas. That’s the Cam Ward who “led” his team out of the playoffs the last two years and the guy who was unable to keep the Bruins off the board in the first period in what, up to now, was the biggest game of the series. Thomas on the other hand was the guy he was during the regular season. Felgy grudgingly accepts that point, something he was not willing to do last week.

Felgy disses the B’s defense, saying that they are not puck movers. But does he mention that two of their best at carrying the puck – Ference and Hunwick – are not playing? Now I happen to think that neither one is big or tough enough to battle in the corners like Chara, Ward, or even Wideman. But if they were out there, I’d be willing to bet that Carolina’s pressure would not have been as relentless.

Finally, a hockey guy like Felgy should know that there are ups and downs in every playoff series. Anaheim is taking the Wings to a seventh game for God’s sake. You think they’re happy in Detroit right now? Take a chill pill. Get to know the teams so maybe you can have an informed opinion once in awhile.

Still, I’ll take you over D&C any day. Those guys just don’t like the sport.

Greg Ambrose

A: At least I have that going for me.

Anyway, have I “mentioned that two of their best at carrying the puck – Ference and Hunwick – are not playing?” Absolutely. All the time. It’s a big factor. So is the fact that Claude Julien kept Hunwick in street clothes (or played him at forward) through some stretches of the season. But that’s being slightly critical, so I’ll stop right there, Greg. Don’t want to upset you.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Subj: Felger

As much as I don’t want to agree with Felger, the Canes had more pressure on the Bruins than the Bruins on the Canes in Game 6. The Bruins made the most of their possessions, but I give the credit to Thomas. The Canes outplayed the Bruins for large portions of the game. The Bruins looked lost on defense for large chunks of the game. It was the same thing that happened in games 2, 3 & 4. I’m happy as anyone that the Bruins won, but they need to figure out a breakout that works consistently.

Tim

NYC

A: Here’s the thing, Tim. Their breakout system is terrific. It’s a big reason why they had the best record in the East in the regular season. But that’s regular season. There’s no way to truly know how your team transitions from defense to offense until the playoffs, because opponents just don’t fore-check in March the same way they do in May. The B’s got away with their lack of puck-movers on defense through the season because the pressure just isn’t the same (and because Ference and Hunwick were healthy). In other words, no matter how good your breakout system is, it usually breaks down in the playoffs because guys are flying around out there like bats out of Hades. You need defensemen who, when the going gets tough, can carry it out of danger. The Bruins don’t have enough of those guys. That’s the bad news. The good news is that a lot of other teams are in the same boat.

–

Felgy

I'm not going to bash you because I know you don't follow the league like you did as a beat guy, but every single deficiency that you have commented on about the Bruins is evident in just about every team in the NHL. Sure, Carolina took the play to the B's and “dominated” for stretches of time but that is the nature of a league that is rife with parity. The Wings are heading to a Game 7 vs. an eight-seed and logic would dictate that they haven't “dominated” that series for significantly more time than the Ducks have. Pittsburgh and Washington are going to Game 7, again because neither team has been able to dominate the other consistently enough.

You also said that Hnidy and Montador aren't great with the puck! Well, of course they aren't – because they are the Nos. 7 and 8 defensemen. If Hunwick and Ference, who are both much more skilled offensively, weren't hurt, both of them would be in the press box right now.

Ask yourself this: Are Detroit's seventh- and eighth-best defensemen better? Do you know who their seventh and eighth defensemen are? Try 47-year-old Chelios and Derek Meech. In the end it's likely going to come down to who plays better for one game, Thursday night. Just like the other six games have been decided by which team played better in each of those games.

Al

North Andover

A: I’ll tell you what, Al. I agree with every single thing you just wrote.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Subj: Felger

Felger is correct. It is so frustrating watching the Bruins fail to get the puck out of their zone for minutes on end. At one point Thomas threw it out himself. I still think the Bruins are better, but for those few minutes it is hard to watch

Mark Aldridge

A: There have been a few occasions in this series where the Canes held the puck in the B’s end for so long I felt I was watching the final minute of an NBA playoff game.

–

Felger,

You are absolutely correct in that Carolina dominated portions of Tuesday’s game and in the games down there in general. However, take away the first two periods of Game 2 and the Bruins have dominated the games in Boston. Carolina won't have the crowd behind them and the Bruins have all the momentum. I like our chances Thursday.

Jay

Westwood

A: Usually, home ice doesn’t come into play in hockey. Usually, there’s really no great advantage playing at home. Usually. We’ll see, but I agree with Jay. It feels to me like, for whatever reason, the crowd down in Carolina played a role in the sustained pressure of the Hurricanes and adversely impacted the B’s. That arena down there got real quiet when the B’s went up, 3-1, and it felt like a different game when that happened. Same thing up here. Now, I don’t think it bodes well for the Bruins if crowd noise adds to their unease with the puck (Washington is another booming place), but that’s a story for another day. First things first.

–

Felger,

I told you Chara would be fine. The B’s are too tough and too talented to go down the way they did in Games 3 and 4. I have waited a friggin’ decade for this.

Paul

Whitman

A: I get a little nervous feeling in my stomach just reading that, Paul.

–

Felgy,

As a devoted hockey Krishna I am ecstatic over some of the developments in the NHL’s postseason.

The Bruins: After 20 excruciating years they have seemingly righted the ship. If they take care of business Thursday night the wave of good will for this organization will be overwhelming. Young talent, veteran leadership and the across-the-board embrace of a good system have made this team legitimate again (if the B’s lose in Game 7 the good feelings will be washed away like bird expletive on a windshield). The NHL needs the traditional franchises, especially ones in big markets, to be relevant. The Bruins and Blackhawks being contenders makes the league better. Speaking of…

Blackhawks: The Campbell conference (Felger: Um, isn’t that the Western Conference now?) version of the Bruins. Mired in mediocrity and awful management for decades, here they are in the Conference finals. And the best part? They’re staring at a matchup with their natural Norris division (Felger: Central?) rival, the Red Wings, for the right to go to the Finals. That would be awesome stuff. Toews and Kane are a pleasure to watch. Seeing Kris Versteeg making such a monster impact is barf-inducing for this Bruins fan. (All we got for him was Brandon Bochenski? Seriously?) Trading him is Chiarelli’s worst move to date. By a wide margin.

Caps vs. Pens: What a series. Truly great entertainment here. The two best players in the world going toe-to-toe. Both teams playing fan friendly firewagon hockey. I’m sure the league would have loved to see this as the Conference final but this has been a pretty damn good consolation prize.

These developments, along with the overall entertainment value of the games, have made this postseason gripping. The new rules have opened up the game and let the talent be on full display. Watching the C’s, and the unending fourth-quarter stoppages, only reinforces how GREAT playoff hockey really is. 

Mike Zavota

A: Another email where I agree with everything. Every single point. I grew up going to Blackhawks games in Chicago at the old Stadium, which was even dirtier and louder than the old Boston Garden, if that’s possible. The sport isn’t played there like it is here, but Chicago is still a great NHL town. And I think witnessing at least one National Anthem at the United Center for a Blackhawks game should be required of every sports fan in the country. Those who’ve been there know what I’m talking about. For those who haven’t been, trust me. I want to play Chicago in the Finals just for that reason alone.

If the following makes me sound provincial, then so be it: Teams like Tampa Bay, Carolina and Anaheim winning the Stanley Cup is bad for the NHL. No one gives a rat’s ass, even many of the fans in those respective cities. Teams like the Red Wings, Blackhawks and Bruins being relevant is good for the NHL. Those teams just mean more to more people who know what the sport is all about. That’s the world according to Felger.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Sent: Thursday, May 7

Felger,

I often get called a DB because I agree with you on almost everything you say. That being said, I will second your take on the fourth line (being on the ice for Carolina’s overtime winner) in Game 3. It’s the (expletive) fourth line! It's not going to score. If the Bruins are down by one goal or even tied the fourth line should not see any ice time unless the Bruins seriously need some energy.

Your number one and maybe only fan,

Joe

West Roxbury

A: Julien’s biggest mistake of the series, one that he admitted to with his actions the next night, when he benched Shawn Thornton in Game 4. I said it on the radio and I’ll say it again. Julien was just being consistent in playing that fourth line in a key situation. He’d been doing it all year. And all year I disagreed with it. But at least in the regular season it doesn’t matter. Now it does. Try and follow the logic. One night, Thornton is deemed important enough to go on the ice three minutes into overtime. The next, he’s deemed expendable enough to be in street clothes as a healthy scratch. That sounds like crappy coaching to me.

–

To: Dale and Holley:

Subj: Felgy, Felgy, Felgy

Sent: Thursday, May 7

Mr. Felger,

I try very hard not to get sucked into your pit of stupidity. However, the pull of this one is too strong. You just said that Tim Thomas is not the best goalie on the ice and that the Bruins have to put up many more shots on net to compensate for the fact that Ward is a better goalie. THE SHOTS WERE 43-21 TO THE 'CANES (in Game 3). That's better than 2-to-1. If Thomas were truly inferior to Ward then he should have had a worse goals against average. In fact, he was twice as good as Ward. At the end of regulation Thomas had given up two goals on 42 shots while the “future Hall of Famer'' Ward gave up two goals on 21 shots.

Sometimes I think you exist just to piss me off.

Lovingly yours,

Jay

A: Again, you really think Thomas is better than Ward? If we put that question to a poll of 30 NHL general managers, I’d have a hard time believing that Thomas would get more than five votes.

–

Mike,

I am one of the few true Felger-supporters out there (even though you are in danger of being over-exposed to an extent that can only be compared to Swine Flu outbreak coverage). Anyway, your continued rant about how the NHL is a real man's sport and the NBA is for wimps is getting tired. You have compared the slap and suspension of Rafer Allston and that of the Hurricane's Walker and cited that as evidence for your argument.

Please remember these facts when you concern yourself in how much of a “wimp league” the NBA is:

1. The NHL is played behind glass. Fights are contained as long as Brad Park and Mike Milbury are not involved. The NBA has 250- to 300-pound men running within inches of fans. Any altercation can easily escalate and get a fan injured or ran over.

2. Remember Auburn Hills?

3. Don't forget racism can be a factor in this. Don't be naive and think having a proper “handle'' on a predominantly black league is a concern of the league office.

4. Remember those god-awful early 1990's series involving Mr. Showtime, Pat Riley's Knicks? Oakley, Ewing, Charles Smith. Those were wrestling matches and not games.

I understand you are from the glory land of Cheese and Ice, but come on. Don't lose your complete objectivity.

Dave B

Lincoln, RI

A: I’ll address No. 3. I absolutely agree that race plays a role in the way the NBA adjudicates this stuff. David Stern is obviously very sensitive to it. The Allston dope slap of Eddie House was totally, 100-percent harmless. It just LOOKED like some jive-ass, punk, schoolyard stuff. So Allston gets a game. What an embarrassment. That’s hardly the only place the race thing shows itself, by the way. What do you think the dress code is about? I also think it’s obvious in the way the media treats the Mike Milbury and Ron Artest incidents. The former is considered funny, almost cute. It’s celebrated. The latter is considered a black eye. And what’s the difference? I can’t think of anything other than skin color.

–

Hey Felger,

Two-part question: If Manny was still with the Red Sox do think any of this would have come out? And when Manny was a free agent and the rest of the MLB teams wouldn't bid on him for his services, do you think they knew he was on steroids at the time?

Dennf

A: Yes, I think it would have come out if he was still on the Sox, but given how they’ve skated on the issue so far, you have to wonder. Clemens, Vaughn, Manny, Nomar (oops, that one slipped; sorry, Lou) – they were all exposed after their Sox days. Manny hit very close to the bone, but there still hasn’t been a direct shot. It’s got to be coming, doesn’t it? As for whether the other major-league teams knew if he was using or not, I would hope to God they had an idea. I mean, who didn’t? The teams couldn’t have been as clueless as the baseball writers, could they?

–

Mike,

I am neither a Manny apologist nor a Manny hater. I see the warts, I see the polish. However, I kind of think there's a reasonable chance he didn't use PEDs before now. You see, unlike Sosa, McGwire, Bonds, Rafi, Giambi and, ah, er, Ortiz, Manny didn't have the sudden, unimaginable leap in power. His one big leap year in power was 1997 to 1998, and even that was only a jump to 45 HR. He never even hit 50! Others jumped up by more than 30 homers a year over their prior five-year average. Not Manny. And shouldn't the “best swing I have ever seen” been able to accomplish even more on juice? If Manny was using PEDs, then they sure didn't help him like they did the rest of his contemporaries.

Then look at his body. No bigger head, no huge weight gain, no muscle pulls. Add to this the rapid deterioration in behavior and attitude that we've seen from him since the day he hired Scott Boras and you have an “I'll show you” cocktail written all over it. And in choosing HCG, he opted for a non-steroid that if kept in proper ratios can give him a boost while leaving him properly masked. But guess what? The dope couldn't manage the proper cocktail. Whoa, there's a surprise!

Lastly, if you want to assure us all that we're being naive thinking this is the first time Manny has used – while ignoring the hard evidence to the contrary – then you better start hammering Ortiz, who is a textbook PED case in every single measurement.

Dean

A: First of all, my skepticism on Ortiz runs high, Dean. It runs high on all the good players who came through that era. I’ve hammered all of them.

Your points on Manny are good, but I have one major bone of contention. Don’t we have to stop looking at body-type? I mean, does Paul Byrd look like a PED user? Does Andy Pettitte? Brian Roberts? Wally Joyner? Manny’s body type (at least what we can see from TV and the press box) means little. I think there’s more to suggest he was using his entire career (the one extreme) than there is to suggest this was his first time (the other).

You mean to tell me that he would refrain from using during all those years when MLB basically allowed it, but then he’d start using just when the testing got real? That doesn’t make much sense, even for him. By the way, check out his numbers his last two years in Cleveland heading into free agency. If there was ever something approaching a “spike” in his performance, that would be it. The only other time that came close was during his Sox-Dodgers transition. You don’t find that suspicious?

–

Felger,

I tried to send this as a whine, but almost got caught by the boss so here is my rationalization for why Bostonians think their team is the clean team:

You, like me, married WAY up, so Sox fans assuming that their team is the clean team is like you and me assuming that we were the best looking and best, ahem, man our wives have ever been with. If you REALLY want to look at it and think about it, you'd have to realize that isn't the case, but do you REALLY want to think about it? Welcome to Happy Land my friend. Keep up the good work.

Matt

A: No, Matt. I’ve chosen to take a hard look at it, and what I see isn’t pretty. Not the Sox and steroids. I’m talking about the Wood. If she wasn’t totally hammered that first night we met, I don’t get a shot. When she sobered up and realized her mistake, it was too late. Seven years later I’m still hanging on. No delusions of grandeur here.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Thursday, May 7

Subj: Holley

Are you kidding me? You can’t possibly think that Ortiz has always been clean. Last year, he started whining about “protection” from the absence of Manny. Now we know, it wasn’t the protection he was missing; it was the Caribbean Jerk Sauce that Manny used to bring over for dinner once a week.

Luce

A: I included this email only because you called Holley “hip.'' I know that would mean a lot to him.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Sent: Thursday, May 7

Subj: Mannyland burns to the ground

Felger, my love of your doucheness grows every day. I can't get enough of it.

We all thought Manny wasn't signed during the offseason because of his “actions'' in Boston. Could it have been that most GMs knew of his doping and were afraid to commit big money to a cheater and a malcontent?

JP

Chelmsford

A: I think it was mostly the price tag, JP. The Giants would have signed him if he wasn’t so expensive. Same with the Mets. I think GMs knew he was a user and still would have signed him if he was cheaper and not so much of a bozo. I think teams sign known users every year.

–

Felger,

Stan Papi hit his first home run (7 career) in 1980 by May 30. I hope Big Papi can do the same.

Obscurely,

L’l Rhody

A: The polls started out as jokes. When will Ortiz hit his first homer? Patriots’ Day? Mother’s Day? Memorial Day? Father’s Day? Two down, two to go. It’s turning out to be no joke.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Sent: Thursday, May 7

Subj: A terrible day

It's a sad day when I agree with Felger. Until MLB does blood testing on a random and frequent basis, on and offseason, ALL players are under suspicion of taking performance enhancers – Pujols, Papi, Paplebon, everyone...

NO PLAYERS can be given the benefit of the doubt. That includes your beloved Red Sox. (Hmmm, Papi associates with the Dominican steroid trainer, but of course he's clean? Get real!). The names must be released immediately and a real testing program put in place before the game can ever be considered clean, and even then there will be suspicions. If you think the new testing program in MLB isn't still a joke, take a good look at the size of these friggin' guys next time you go to a game.

Paul

Durham, NH

A: I don’t agree that MLB should reveal the names on that list of 103 from 2003. If the media gets a hold of it, fine. Go nuts. Believe me, I want to know the other guys. But that would really be lame if the owners broke that agreement.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Thursday, May 7

Subj: Michael Felger and the standard of proof

“They were all doing it. I won't be surprised by any new names.'' – Michael Felger

Hmmmm. We could say the same thing about people who ply your trade Michael, based on:

Mike Barnicle

Patricia Smith

Jayson Blair

John Tomase

Doris Kearns Goodwin

Stephen Ambrose

All journalists are plagiarists based on your standard of guilt.

Walter

Norwood

A: Good analogy, but not perfect. A lot of journalists have plagiarized, but not all. Now, if you said that all are overweight, surly, thin-skinned and miserable, then I think you’re closer to the truth.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Thursday, May 7

Subj: Cartoon characters

Yeah Felger, now we can just see the cartoon characters in football instead of baseball. I'm always fascinated by everyone's denial of football PED users as opposed to those in MLB. The dichotomy and double standard is undeniable. Care to comment, Felgy?

Todd

Dennis

A: Sure. I don’t know if I’ve ever ducked the fact that PED use in football is off the charts. Baseball caught up for a short time during the height of the steroid era, but football has now regained its rightful position as being the league with the most PED users. And fans still don’t care. That’s not my fault, by the way.

–

DB Felger:

First of all I have to apologize for listing you at the head of the Bill Belichick bum kissers two weeks ago. You are obviously just waiting back in the line somewhere. Up front with his lips squarely on BB's keister is Dan from California. This moon bat actually had this to say in your column last week: “As an aside, I expect that ‘the statue formerly called Bruschi’ will one day have a statue outside Gillette because the ownership respects the contributions of these guys more than these so-called fans.” What a clown! Ask your pal Vrabel about how much “ownership has respected his contributions” when they sent him off to KC for a bag of footballs! He had the gall to say Krafty was making too much dough on Patriot Place and he was shipped off so fast his head is probably still spinning. Vrabel could actually still play but Bruschi stays because he keeps his mouth shut. The next one to go will be Adalius Thomas because he wants to get paid for playing two extra games.

On a related note, last week I realized while perusing the Herald that the Pats have absolutely no shot of making the playoffs next year. You aren't going anywhere when there is more news about your team in the Inside Track than there is in the sports section. When the HC and the star QB spend more time in NYC than in Foxboro, you got no shot. Besides the usual sightings of Brady walking Gisele's rat (oops it’s a dog) and picking up its tiny little steamers, we also had BB squiring his hot blond cougar girlfriend to a charity event. Looking dapper in that tux, BB! That parking space ain't going to Brady this year and it wasn't too long ago that the former HC of the NYJ would have puked rather than spend a minute in NY. Disinterested coach and dilettante QB equal no playoffs.

Jack

Newport

A: Outstanding negativity, Jack. Keep up the good work.

–

Hey Mike,

Funny how you forgot about Asante giving up two touchdowns against Arizona. Let me define shutdown corner for you: he lines up on the best receivers’ head, not seven yards down the field. He hits the guy coming off the line and runs stride for stride with him down the field and defends passes. On running downs, he tries to make tackles. He doesn't need safety help over the top. That allows the safeties to help out stiffs like Otis Smith and Ellis Hobbs on the weak side. The quarterback is very reluctant to throw on the shutdown corner’s side of the field because the window is too small. Asante gave up plenty of catches last year, same as Hobbs, because he lays so far back. I agree, he makes two or three great interceptions a year on the same play almost every time. He undercuts the route while having safety help behind him and sucks the QB into a stupid throw. Other than those few plays, everything he does is average. This is the NFL, not baseball. You cannot pay a corner like a QB and stay competitive very long.

Pugs

A: Here we go again. You don’t think Samuel’s presence allowed the Pats to help out Hobbs over the years? Watch the games, Pugs. Hobbs was brutal this past year, even worse than 2005-2007. We know that because the Pats unloaded him for a kicking tee. And why was he worse last year than in the past? Because the safeties couldn’t shade to his side and cover his deficiencies as they could when Asante was here. They had two stiffs in front of them, not just one. Sure, Samuel gave up plays in Philadelphia this year. Given the rules nowadays, every corner does. But Samuel also MADE plays. Who did that for the Pats?

–

Mike:

I found the Sox move relative to Daniel Bard very interesting. Frankly, I have been waiting for it, or at least, more discussion about when we might see him at Fenway.

As much as I hate what I am about to say, I have to give the devil his due. When I think “dominant closer” I think back to Mariano Rivera at his best. Bottom line was, with few exceptions and for quite a long time, when he came into the game, not only was it over for the Yankees’ opponent, but there would be no hope provided for a comeback. The inning usually went 1-2-3. Case closed. No doubt about it.

As much as I enjoy Jonathan Papelbon, what I see via the ”eyeball test,” and without an in-depth analysis of the numbers, is a closer who makes things much too interesting way too often, and is on the books as saying in effect “cash is king” relative to his contract. (I commend him for his honesty.) The potential for a repeat of his arm problem based on past issues also shows up in my thinking every time he goes well beyond a normal pitch count. Such was the case in Anaheim at the start of the season.

What are your thoughts about Bard, Papelbon, and the Sox evaluating their options?

Mike

Putnam, CT

A: The Papelbon-Bard transition is coming, it’s just not happening this year or next. Maybe not even in 2011. But I think Papelbon goes year-to-year through arbitration and is eventually a goner. And that’s okay. That means three more Octobers with him in Boston.

As a side note, have you noticed some of the numbers down in Pawtucket this season? Buchholz has a 1.03 ERA over 35 innings, with 37 strikeouts and 10 walks (WHIP of 0.74). Bowden has an ERA of 1.06 over 34 innings, with 21 strikeouts and 12 walks (WHIP of 0.82). Bard had 29 strike outs over 16 innings, with an ERA of 1.13 and WHIP of 0.69, when he got the call. I know minor league numbers don’t mean anything, but wow.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Subj: I love Felger

You're the maaaaan Felger. Love having you on. Yes, people like myself do exist. With all due respect to Dale, the Felger-Holley team is by far my favorite co-host combo. Just felt the need to counter some of the anti-Felger venom.

Re: the C's Eastern Conference Final opponent (yeah, I'm putting them in), I think the C's have a chance. I know you think Baby is bad defensively, Mike, but I feel he's had some bad defensive match-ups in these first two series. He can't match-up with anyone who his fairly quick off the dribble (e.g. - John Salmons and Rashard Lewis). I think Baby will have an easier time with Varejao and Joe Smith. I really think Paul elevates his defensive game against LeBron, and if Rondo can frustrate Mo, then we're onto something. All that being said, if the C's lose in 6, I'll feel it was a good accomplishment. I already feel that winning the Orlando series, given all the circumstances, has made this season an accomplishment.

Don't forget ..."Anything is posssiiibbbllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(I’m not even going to entertain the "maybe KG can play" idea).

Tom

Arlington

A: Why can’t we entertain the “maybe KG can play” idea? I think it’s time to dust off that Danny Ainge quote for next week.

–

Felger You DB!

So, after this week’s MBTA developments, how comfortable are you riding the trains? Considering that the Green Line has crashed more than Windows Vista, do you think that the MBTA might finally realize that assigning positions via lottery is a poor choice? My daily commute has me on a bus, the Orange Line and the commuter rail, so naturally, I couldn't be happier to find out that the people driving me around may have gotten their jobs by the MBTA equivalent of Price is Right contestant selection. “Inexperienced 22-year-old with unlimited texting! Come on down! You’re the next contestant on DRIVE THE GREEN LINE!”

And who the hell cares that the driver is trans-gendered? Half the riders on the damn train look like they are straight out of the Cantina scene from Star Wars. As long as you can get me from Park Street to Kenmore before Walrus Man throws up on me and without turning the trip into a Runaway Train meets the Crying Game double feature, Ru Paul can drive the friggin' train.

And speaking of movies, what's more shocking to you? That Bradford went by himself to go see the new Star Trek movie, or that we didn't have a “Five Things We Learned About Spock's Ears” article on the website? Also, please mention to Rob that playing the “What Would Ebert Do” card to justify going solo is dubious considering Roger liked Joe vs. the Volcano better than Godfather II.

Oh, and tell Bradford to skip his review of “Kobe Doing Work.” I'm waiting for the prequel, “Kobe Doing Room Service.”

Let's go B's!

Speaking of which, using Sheppard’s expertise to gauge the usefulness of the fourth line is like using gas stations as the baseline for bathroom cleanliness. Sheppard thinks that you need 18 wins to take home Lord Stanley's hardware and a Gordie Howe hat trick is a goal, a “hit” and a fight. Seriously, you put Sheppard and Butch on the same show with only LJ to rein them in, and you might as well broadcast the Big Show from the Mutt Cutt's van.

So I was watching the B's getting outworked in every phase of the game in Game 3 and only through the grace of Recchi's Neo-like Matrix deflection goal did the B's limp into OT. And what happens in OT? The B's open the extra stanza with sick chances from Lucic and Savard, momentarily lifting my spirits only to have them dashed as Shawn Thornton left Jokinen Deltha O'Neil open to net the winner. 

Ratfarts.

Wait... Shawn Thornton?!? Why is the fourth line out there as a unit in OT, let alone in the first five minutes? Usually in OT the fourth line gets its center man salvaged in OT as face-off insurance. That's usually it. So when the fourth line gets the second or third trip over the boards in OT it boggles the mind. To me, this immediately puts the “is Claude Julian French for Robbie Ftorek” argument back in play. In the 1990 Cup Finals Peter Klima rode the pine long enough to take in the Godfather with commercials before he got back on the ice to pot the triple OT game winner, and you’re telling me that three minutes into OT the fourth line gets a shift?

And sorry, Cleetus, I know that you like hockey because toothless players remind you of mom, but there should be no teams south of the Mason Dixon.

Mike

Attleboro

A: I’ll tell you what, Mike. Whatever it is you do that requires you to take a bus, commuter rail and T to work, you’re wasting your talents. You need to take this (expletive) on the road, babe.

–

Michael Felger,

1) You don't hit your breaks properly on this Sunday night show. In the first one, you got cutoff mid-sentence. Same thing right before one of your breaks.

2) The word is neh-meh-sis. Nemesis.

BK

Brookline

A: Not exactly a Swiss watch on Sunday night so far. But just wait. We’ll take over the world eventually. (Sunday’s at 10 p.m. on Comcast Sportsnet.)

–

Hey Felger,

Please consider the following constructive criticism....Why do you insist on using foul, offensive language? Is this what you've achieved from a college degree? That’s the extent of your ability to express yourself? Do you plan to rear your child(ren) to express themselves in such a way? Of course you don't! Would you want them to learn from your example to communicate and imitate your vulgar manner? No. Then why would you think any other parent would?! Aside from the fact that these habits reflect a tainted intelligence level, they also make you appear to be “trying to be cool,” talking like you were half your age and free from any sense of responsibilities. So make your family proud….GROW UP and be a man! Learn how to do your job with a bit of class and charm, not like some dinky intern. You are better than that, and you know it.

Sincerely

Tom,

Mt Wachusett

A: I must have said something really bad recently because I’ve gotten quite a few of these recently. It seems I’ve got a potty mouth. Is it when I called Bradford a “flaming homer” on Comcast? I had the ‘r’ in there, Tom, I promise.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Sent: Thursday, May 7

Subj: Holley, get him!

Get that idiot Felger and bury his ass! Friggin' idiot he is! I can't believe he's a college grad. Makes me wonder about Boston University. Add the fact that he was a beat writer (or is he still doing it on the side when he's on the air/TV?) is insane! I hope all this B.S. he spews is just an act because he's a moron radio personality (unlike yourself.....you, my friend, are “the man” – you're even-keeled, intelligent and neutral in what you say and what you feel, and I thank you for a great job done!). The fact that he's on Comcast Sportsnet is SICKENING....Whenever he opens his fat yap I cringe! If people can see/hear this via satellite in other states outside of New England then I truly feel bad because he's a HORRIBLE representative of New England's Sports nation.

I don't know how you put up with him. It's like having a senile relative you're afraid to take out into public for fear he may make a spectacle out of it. I'm sorry this email is so negative towards him, but I just can't take it anymore. I'm not going to listen to WEEI anymore when I know he'll be on or if I happen to turn it on and hear his voice (just the thought is making me cringe).

P.S. Great books. Patriot Reign & Never Give Up....I'll be picking up the Francona book soon enough and know I'll enjoy it.

Thanks,

Christopher Hinkson

A: Have you tried Tales from the Patriots Sidelines?

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Subj: Felger!!!

Hey Guys,

I listen to WEEI all day long at work and I love it. I spent an hour and a half in bumper-to-bumper traffic this morning and was ready to kill someone but now that Dale and Holley has Felger on all is right with the world. Felger, you may very well be the most hated man in Boston sports talk radio, but you are the freakin’ man! Don’t listen to the haters – they’re a bunch of tools. Your opinions may be a little out there sometimes, even for me over here on Felgy Island, but you stick to your guns and every once in a while throw in some cougar talk. Dale is great but Felger is GOD! 

Brian Carvalho

A: Felgy Island? The cougars run wild there, Brian. Vrabes is the Prime Minister.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Thursday, May 7

Subj: Please

How do you ruin a great radio show?

Add Felger.

What are this man's credentials? Where does he come from? He is AWFUL! And he is everywhere! Arrrggg!

Dale and Holley is the best show on EEI by far, but Felger raises the irritation level to near D+C proportions. The perfect show for EEI would be Pete Sheppard and Felgy....That would be hilarious. Seriously. Hilarious.

Fran

A: Do you know what D+C make, Fran? May God grant me the good fortune to be half as irritating as them someday.

–

To: Dale and Holley

Date: Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Subj: Wow

Felger’s “sportsgasm” and ensuing changing of pants–- most uncomfortable moment in sports radio history.

Brian

NH

A: Brian must have missed the NFL-coaches-we’d-like-to-do segment.

–

Hey Felger,

How did Naples make you so bitter? I moved from Newburyport to Naples, and I’m loving every single day here in paradise. You must have a screw loose. Smile, you dope. Eddie A. coined the word “sportsgasm,” you thief.

Mark Contini

A: First of all, Mark is referring to my life story I told on the radio with Holley on Wednesday. He wanted to know when I became such a miserable mope. So I told him. I grew up in Milwaukee (have I ever mentioned that?), but when I turned 16 my family moved to Naples, Florida. I didn’t want to go. Right in the middle of high school. I was a hockey player. Had a few people who liked me (as opposed to none currently). Didn’t mind the winters. So the move turned me into a sourpuss for a few years, and then I came to Boston for college. Turns out I fit right in. And the rest is history. I used to be a happy-go-lucky, good-natured Midwesterner. Now I’m a douche bag.

As for my use of the word “sportsgasm” (which occurred on David Krejci’s no-look, between-the-legs, touch-pass to Steve Montador in Game 6), I know it’s not original. Never said it was. The only thing I know is that I soiled my pants. I didn’t know what else to call it.

–

Subj: Boston media coverage

I like you Mike. Let’s face it, 10 years ago, the Bruins were a joke (really up until last year), the Celts stunk, the Pats stunk and the Sox were good but couldn’t compete with the Yankees. The Celts were on 1510, the Pats were on 1510 for Patriots Monday, the Bruins were irrelevant and the Red Sox were whipping boys because the ownership was so bad and the GM was reflective of that.

Flash forward 10 years. WEEI is the premier radio station not just in Boston, but the whole country. Red Sox Wednesday, Patriots Monday and Friday, Celtics games. And even Comcast network and your tie-ins with the Celts. There is conflict of interest in the culture, not just in sports. This is happening in politics with Fox and MSNBC choosing which party they are going in the bag for.

Examples: Holley on the radio when the Manny announcement came out. He literally tried to put a timeline in there. Tanguay? I mean, come on. He’s so naïve and a homer it destroys his integrity. The Big Show with the Pats has become so ridiculous that if you call with a criticism between September and February, forget it, you’re getting shouted down or Glenn will let you know how you are ignorant. I mean, come on Glenn, it’s sports, not physics. There are plenty of us nerds who know the game just as much if not more than the on-air people. Talent for broadcasting and sports knowledge are two different topics. They might as well make it a monologue show.

So my summary, Mike: I think you try to be a contrarian a little too much. But 75 percent of the time, I think you take the right approach. David Ortiz went from 21 homers at 27, to 54 three years later, to zero this season. And Michael Holley says that doesn’t indicate steroid use??? It doesn’t? Did you see Ortiz interviewed after the Manny announcement? He looked like Elliot Spitzer’s wife. I just never thought Boston, which was always deemed too negative, would become the town of complete homers. Maybe that is the downside of success. It blinds you and it stops the questions. 

Don’t you stop, but don’t be Borges either. It’s a thin line, but take it seriously, because people will always try to marginalize you as the d-bag. Kettles, you’re black.

Regards,

Ed

A: I take the right approach seventy-five percent of the time? Holy crap. Anyone else care to comment on that batting average?

Actually, I think you just did.

–

Catch Felger on “Sports Sunday” this Sunday at 10 p.m. on Comcast Sportsnet. (Unless the Celtics play Orlando in a Game 7, then the show will air after the Celtics postgame, approximately at midnight). Reach Felger at mfelger@weei.com