The Celtics and Shaquille O'Neal?

I guess it's possible, as long as everyone is realistic. That, of course, starts with Shaq himself. And that's where the problem begins.

Look, a need is there. Kendrick Perkins is not going to play basketball again in 2010 and it could be even longer before we see him on the court. That's 27.6 minutes per night (2009-10 average for Perk) that need to be filled with competent center play. The Celtics, assuming Garnett and Rondo and Pierce and Ray Allen are all around and healthy, don't need a 20-12 guy in the middle. They need someone that will be happy to be the fourth (or fifth) option on offense, block some shots and help on the glass.

Can that be Shaq? I know he's 38 years old, but take a look at his numbers compared to Perkins last year:

Shaq: 23.4 minutes, 12.0 points, 6.7 rebounds, 56.6 FG%, 1.2 blocks

Perkins: 27.6 minutes, 10.1 points, 7.6 rebounds, 60.2 FG%, 1.7 blocks

Almost a wash, right? And Shaq was one of the few Cavs that actually showed up for the Celtics series (averaged a 13-5 in the six games, at least played Perkins to a push). So there is still gas in the tank. When he wants to play he can still play at a pretty effective level. The game-changer is gone, of course, but for one year the Celtics could a lot worse for $5.8 million.

That's assuming that Shaq will show up to training camp weighing less than the offensive line of the 2006 Green Bay Packers, keep his mouth shut, play hard for 20-25 minutes a night and put up a 10-6 while doing at least some of the nitty-gritty stuff that Perkins brings to the table. And this is where we start to enter the "hard sell" territory.

There's a reason why the Celtics, Mavericks, Hawks or wherever Shaq winds up will be team No. 6 in his career. Most immortals don't move around as much as the family in "Running on Empty". His act wears thin (no pun intended) after a while and it has grown a lot thinner a lot faster since he stopped averaging 25 points and 15 rebounds a night while winning titles. It seems that the pattern has been the same with Shaq over the last half-decade or so. He shows up in a new city and the goodwill is flowing. He's thrilled to be there, but really thrilled to be away from the last place, where he wasn't understood, loved, or appreciated. And the resident star of the new place -- Steve Nash or LeBron -- understand how important Shaq is and will do whatever it takes to make sure he is given his proper respect. And things are usually fine for about as long as it takes for New Team to understand that this isn't anything close to the Shaq that dominated the NBA for a decade. And once Shaq understands that they understand he starts to make some noise and the moving process is under way.

Now none of that stuff would happen if Shaq came to Boston. I'm almost sure of it. I think the combo of Doc Rivers and the Big Two or Three would put Shaq in his place from Minute One. Before he signed a piece of paper they would let him know where he stands. And that's fifth or sixth (Big Baby is probably better today) in the pecking order. The only pitch Danny Ainge would give Shaq is the one he'll give to Brad Miller and Mike Miller and Brendan Haywood and David Lee. Come here and you can win a title. Shaq is just another guy. He needs the Celtics more than the Celtics need him. That's not the way he likes to enter a scene.

And that's one of two reasons why I think Shaq doesn't end up in Boston. Even at age 38, even knowing down deep that he's probably best served as a role player on a team that's close, even knowing that he could be a missing piece for a title winner, Shaq will go the place where he can be cast as a savior. And that's the Hawks. A young team that needs a Daddy figure. He can go there and do his wacky act and no one will challenge him. And his contract will end in a year or two and even at age 40 I bet he'll still be looking, a quasi-tragic figure without a real team to call his own. He's not unlike Roger Clemens in that for all his greatness there isn't a fan base that is his. The Lakers? Didn't you hear Kobe cracking Shaq jokes after Game 7? That feud is over. Kobe is now known as the Best Laker Ever and Shaq is a punchline. The Magic? That was almost 15 years ago and he ditched them for Hollywood. He has no home and he is isn't going to find one at this point of his career. 

The other reason why Shaq isn't coming to the Celtics? I don't think they really want him. How much of this "interest" is real and how much is an agent throwing something and hoping it sticks is unknown to me, but I'd be stunned if Ainge had any real designs on making a real push. Too much potential headache and the upside just isn't that great. His defense is suspect at best at this point of his career and it's hard to imagine he'd be a great match for Rondo. Brad Miller -- with this ability to shoot pass and stretch the floor-- is a much better fit for what the Celtics are trying to do. If they weren't able to land him (or Haywood) maybe they'd show some genuine interest in Shaq. But right now I can't buy that he's a true target.

So even though it would be fun for the first couple of months I wouldn't bank on Shaq joining the Celtics in 2010-11. Hate to spoil the party but someone has to be realistic.