Place: Springfield, Massachusetts
Date: August 14, 2030

[Applause] Thank you. Thank you all very much. Before … before I begin, I would like to take a moment to congratulate my fellow inductee, LeBron James. LeBron and I had dinner together last night with our families and I have to say he, his mother and his stepfather Delonte could not have been kinder, more gracious hosts.

You know, LeBron and I had some epic battles over our careers. Going all the way back to his days with Cleveland, the Knicks, and Brooklyn and up through his later years with Chicago, Las Vegas, London and Mexico City, it seemed like we faced each other in the playoffs every year and the Celtics always won. But I always respected him and it’s an honor to stand with him today and be inducted into the Hall of Fame.

Today was a very special day for me. I’d like to thank Mayor Menino personally for honoring me with a parade today. Of course, back during his 10th term in office, the mayor commissioned a statue of me right outside the BarelyLegal.com Garden along the Big Dig Flood Disaster Memorial Greenway. And at the time I thought I’d never receive a greater honor. But today was really something special. To all the fans who lined up along the Danny Ainge Bridge and waved to the motorcade during our drive down Garnett Turnpike, I’m deeply humbled, and I’d like to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

You know, it’s been a long journey for me. To be a kid from Louisville who gets to grow up playing the game I love, to one day finding myself standing on the White House lawn alongside Emperor Obama, is truly a dream come true.

With me today are my mother Amber and my brothers Dymon, William and Anton. And I want to thank them for all their love and support throughout the years. We didn’t have a lot growing up. My mother worked hard to support us, working the third shift at what is now the Phillip Morris Medicinal Marijuana Health Center, but back then made legal cigarettes in the days before Prohibition. My first love was football, but Mom thought I was too skinny for all that abuse and steered me toward basketball. Nice call, Mom. [Laughter. Applause.]

So I played ball at Eastern High in Louisville before playing my senior year at Oak Hill, and it was there that I learned to love the game and realized that if I worked hard enough I could play college ball. This was a long time ago, obviously. It was back when college players were supposed to play for free, if you can believe that. [Laughter] And the University of Kentucky still had a team. It wasn’t until three years after I turned pro that John Calipari came to Lexington, then went to the NBA to take the job of LeBron’s Coach-for-Life and left behind all those NCAA sanctions. But to all those Wildcat fans, I say thank you. I loved the time I spent at UK and hang in there; only five more years left on the ban and then you’ll have a team again. [Applause. Random shouts of “Go Wildcats!” from the wheelchair section.]

Then of course, I was fortunate enough to wind up in Boston, playing for the greatest team, in front of the greatest fans, in the greatest sports town in the world. [Wild applause. Chants of “Ron-DO!”] You know it’s funny. I look at the holograms from back in those first few years and I can’t believe they’re real. Playing with all those legends. Winning all those championships. It’s hard to imagine now, but for a while there, people thought we’d just that one from my rookie year. Folks thought that Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen were too old, too close to the end of the line, and they started writing us off.

I’ll never forget that second championship back in 2010. That was the year BP established the Gulf of Oil Permanent Petroleum Deposit that stopped global warming, saved us from having to import foreign oil and brought us the peace we enjoy to this day. That was also the year when everyone — and I mean everyone — was writing us off. There was talk then that Danny Ainge should break us up, dump Ray Allen at the trading deadline and start over. But Danny stuck by us, only to watch us turn things around in the playoffs win Banner… 18? Was that one No. 18? I think it was.

And to be fair, we had a lot of turmoil that season. One of the things I’m most proud of is spending my entire career in a Celtics uniform. [Applause. A shout of “We love you, Ra-JON!”] But in that season, my contract was up and it was looking for a while like Boston might not keep me. [Smattering of boos.]

[Chuckling] Look, I don’t want to sound like I’m a million years old, but back then they were still selling newspapers [Laughter from the crowd] … no, seriously … and I remember reading in the Boston Twitter-Globe that I wasn’t that good. That I had a bad attitude, I was a diva who was hard to coach. Plus, I had no outside shot and couldn’t hit free throws. So rather than let it get to me, I dedicated myself to outworking everybody else to get the most out of my talent. And I’m proud to say that before I retired I broke Ray Allen’s all time 3-point record. [Standing ovation.] I think I proved to all the coaches throughout my career, from Doc to Rasheed to Scal, that all I ever cared about was winning.

Because really, the one thing I’m most proud of is that I was able to set the only record that matters. And that’s winning more titles than Bill Russell. That’s the standard by which all Celtics measure themselves. And while the 12 championships I won as a Celtic isn’t as many as my good friend, Secretary General Brady, won with the Patriots … take a bow, Tom … [Tumultuous applause acknowledged by a sheepish wave from Brady] it’s still something no one can take away from me.

So I have a lot of people to thank, without whom I would not be here today. My family, of course. My beautiful wife, Ke$ha. My former teammates who are already in the Hall, namely Kevin, Paul, Ray and Big Baby. But as I drove here today I thought of one man who I’d especially like to acknowledge. Back when I started out, he was just a sports columnist trying to make his way in the world. But as I looked up at the skyscraper that bears his name and is the headquarters of the media empire he’s become, I realized the first guy to ever have the guts to predict that 20 years down the road I would be standing before you being inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame, was none other than Jerry Thornton. Thank you, Jerry for believing in me. And thanks to all of you. God bless. [Standing ovation.]