ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. -- The wave of well-meaning advisers has been relentless, a reality that hasn't been lost on the subject of the advice -- Daniel Bard.
"I think everybody wants to be the one who says the thing that makes it click for me, and boom, it comes back for me," the pitcher said prior to the Red Sox' game against the Rays Thursday. "But I don't think there is one thing that can be said. I've been around some really good people this year who have had my best interest at heart, and whether or not they were able to fix something isn't their fault or my fault, it's just the the way it's been."
The voices didn't work, so now Bard is ready to try something else -- quiet.
Bard doesn't know what is going to transpire for the final 11 games. ("As far as I know I'm going to keep putting in the work, and if they want to pitch me every day, that's fine; if they don't want to pitch me at all, we'll go from there," he said.) But he does know what will happen after that.
Two vacations and then the reset button.
Up until this point, it has been uncomfortable tracking the pitcher who was perceived as one of the most valuable in baseball. Since his return to the major leagues as a reliever, the numbers and images have only intensified the analysis. He has thrown 85 pitches during the stretch, and just 39 of them have found the strike zone. There have been 23 batters, eight of which have gotten hits, with five drawing walks.
Bard isn't sure whatever ails him can be fixed before the conclusion of '12. He has dug himself a hole that might be just too deep to dig out from in the next few weeks. But what he does take solace in is the notion that by the time he picks up a ball again in December, the pit will be fully filled in.
Again: Two vacations and then the reset button.
"Baseball-wise for me, I just feel like I've tried to fix things constantly all year without getting the results that I want. That cycle kind of gets old after a while, so to be able to get away from that will be nice," Bard admitted.
"I think it will be good to hit that reset button, mentally, physically, everything. Just start over," he added. "When you first start playing catch in the offseason you have nothing riding on any of your throws. You're trying to throw a ball as hard as you can to a target. If you miss it it doesn't matter, and I think that's when your body and mind can be free and easy. I can do that again and recreate those same habits that worked for me for a long time without having to add pitches I haven't thrown in the past."
It is this moment -- the instance he picks up a baseball again to begin his offseason throwing program -- that Bard is identifying as his "reset button." It is, after all, that practice of throwing in December that the righty identifies as where the troubles all began. There was too much thinking. Too much tinkering. And not enough of the mentality that had led Bard to a 2.88 ERA, an .190 opponents batting average and 213 strikeouts in 197 innings. (And just for good measure, the Red Sox carried a 126-66 record when he pitched.)
Now Bard is banking that the offseason exercise will reverse the results once again.
"I was talking to [John] Lackey about it [Wednesday] night, why things haven't been able to be fixed as easily as everyone would have hoped and thought they would be," Bard said. "I think a lot of it comes down to knowing when your offseason throwing starts, and you start playing catch, after taking like two months off from throwing it's kind of like hitting a reset button for your arm. You re-learn the muscle memory for throwing a baseball. The way mine started, right from the get-go I was trying to reteach myself a windup, trying to sink the ball different ways, throw the fastball different speeds. That all started from the get-go when I was playing catch in January. Just toying around with it. Not that I don't do that, but I was doing it more because I was like, 'I'm starting.' I got better at some things. But I wasn't the same pitcher as I was in the past.
"No matter how much I worked on things in Triple-A and even since I got back up here, little tweaks aren't going to overhaul all those things I kind of set in stone back in January, February, March and in spring training, and all that time I was starting. I think I just created some bad habits."
Once again, Bard understands the changes -- both spawned by himself and others' advice -- were born from good intentions. There were the examples of relievers-turned-starters, such as C.J. Wilson, and what kind of adjustments had to be made in order to make the transition.
But, starting with that first workout, Bard began to lose his way, little by little.
There were moments of promise, such as starts against Tampa Bay (6 2/3 innings, one run), the White Sox (seven innings, two earned runs), Kansas City (entering the eighth inning giving up three runs while consistently pitching at 96 mph), and Cleveland (six innings, one run). But even with some upticks, the flaws born that day in December still lingered.
"At the time I wasn't trying to overhaul everything I was as a pitcher. It was, how can I make 'Daniel Bard 2.0?' " he said. "Take all the stuff I did as a reliever and add a cutter, and front-door sinker to a lefty, throw more changeups, throw a slower breaking ball and a harder one. Just things I hadn't done in the past and had a lot of success not doing. For some reason I thought, 'I'm starting, I have to do all these things well.' It just took away … My identity as a pitcher is simple: Attack guys with my best fastball, challenge them and use my slider as a finish pitch. But I lived and died with my fastball for the most part, and I got away from that identify. I got so far from it, it has just been really hard to get back to it."
When that reset button does re-emerge, this time it won't be about starting or relieving. ("Next year I'll come in as a reliever, whether it's here or somewhere else, and try and find that same identity that I had. Regardless how things have gone this year, that's where I'll find success in the near future. Maybe we'll revisit down the road, but right now it's about being comfortable on the mound and getting that edge back," he said.) It will be solely about rediscovery.
Two vacations and then …
"Mentally, physically, I can just start over," he said. "Just hitting the reset button will help."
ROB BRADFORD
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