NEW YORK -- In the 10-minute conversation, one word surfaced significantly more than any other.

"Frustration."

It is morphing into late May and it is getting more and more difficult for Mike Lowell to live with his lot in life. The Red Sox aren't winning -- as was most recently exemplified by an 11-9, walk-off win for the Yankees Monday night -- and the infielder feels there's little he can do about it. 

It is a microcosm of Lowell's "frustration": There is little he can do about a lot of things these days.

"I don't come in for defense. I'm always pinch-run for. Your level of importance feels diminished when I feel like I can do so much more," he said prior to the Red Sox' series opener at Yankee Stadium. "I just don't know if the place where I can do so much more is here. The good news is that I can't control that, but the bad thing is not being able to control the frustration."

Heading through what he continues to identify as his final season, Lowell finds himself as little more than an insurance policy for the Red Sox. 

Twice during the Sox' latest loss to the Yankees, he found himself on the verge of entering the game as a pinch-hitter for Jeremy Hermida, first with Boone Logan on the mound, and then with Damaso Marte on in relief. But the appearance was contingent on runners getting on base in front of him, and nobody reached, so Lowell sat another one out.

By the time he walked out of Yankee Stadium Monday night, Lowell didn't know if he was going start against New York lefty CC Sabathia, or if there would be a chance to start against another lefty, Minnesota's Francisco Liriano, later in the week. The waiting is just part of the "frustration." Not knowing what you're waiting for is another piece of what has become more a disjointed puzzle than the 36-year-old ever imagined would present itself.

"You control your success and you control your failure. But all the factors lead to frustration," Lowell said. "The fact we're not playing well adds to the frustration. If we had the best record in the big leagues, it makes things a little better because there's a good vibe about the way we're playing. There are good things. We're not playing that well. It's not just one thing. I think if my hip was bothering me all the time I think I would be frustrated, but there would be justification in me not playing."

And he isn't playing, and doesn't figure to do so much in the near future.

David Ortiz is hitting, as his seventh homer of the season Monday night suggested. Kevin Youkilis has had just one day off, and Adrian Beltre is boasting the best batting average among the regulars.

Meanwhile, Lowell has gotten in 20 games, some of them consisting of no more than one at-bat. One -- Saturday's appearance -- lasted one pitch, a 101 mph fastball from Detroit's Joel Zumaya that the pinch-hitter deposited into left field for a base hit before being pinch-run for. ("I played for seven seconds," he said. "That was pretty cool.")

"The situation that is frustrating to me is that I think everybody wanted to see if I was healthier than last year, and I've got to believe that's pretty apparent, and I don't think my numbers merit not doing anything," Lowell explained.

"The fact I feel good and I have instances where I have had good games and you can't follow it up and you can't get hot for two or three weeks, it can only add to your frustration. If I hit .220 last year I would feel I would have no basis to want more playing time. Like I said, this is based on production. Take away the hip thing, I think the numbers merit the playing time. Now add the hip thing into it and I really felt I played in discomfort or pain every single day. There wasn't one day where I felt like I was 100 percent. I feel really good this year and that also adds to the frustration. I don't think it's animosity, but just frustration."

For the time being, Lowell is stuck. The Red Sox wouldn't appear to be ready to release him, perhaps partly for fear that two of the prime candidates to pick him up -- the Yankees and Rays -- reside north of the Sox in the American League East standings. 

Then there is the backup plan he represents in regard to Ortiz. 

Lowell is adamant that he is not averse to the designated hitter getting at-bats and succeeding when he does step to the plate. Even the game in which Ortiz got a start against Detroit lefty starter Dontrelle Willis, Lowell didn't have a problem.

What doesn't sit well is the inability to ride the kind of momentum Ortiz has currently carved out for himself. By contrast, Lowell did not playing for three days following a 4-for-4 performance against the Angels.

"I think this is the way the progression should go," Lowell said of Ortiz, who now is tied for the most home runs in the majors in May. "I can honestly say you hurt for guys when they really hurt. I'm looking at video during the game to see if I can see something in David's swing. He comes in and I see the frustration and hear the frustration. I actually enjoy when David does good. It's a Catch-22 because I think his success will take at-bats away from me. But, you know what, that was kind of what was scripted at the beginning of the year. 

"The fact he hits two home runs and the next day he plays, even if there is a lefty, that's actually what I think should happen because when guys are doing good you ride the wave. That being said, it also adds to my frustration when I go 4-for-4 and I don't play the next day because that could be the beginning of a two- or three-week stretch where you play really well. Now if that's not even an option to get to that point, so be it, but I'm not used to that."

In a nutshell … Lowell is "frustrated" and, much like with many things with the Red Sox these days, few answers appear to be in sight.

"I've never been a lefty specialist, and I've never been told it's going to be my job and that's why it's hard for me to accept it because I feel like I can do so much more," he said. "What that means for this team, I don't know. That's not the situation I constructed. That doesn't add or take away from my frustration. It is what it is."