And on the 144th day, Josh Beckett finally spoke to the media. 

The verdict? Maybe he should've kept quiet.

Look, I'll fully admit that I don't care about chicken and beer. It's one of the all-time overblown media stories, a Level 5 overreaction, right up there with Spygate and the on-ice ramifications of the political rants of Tim Thomas. I'm pretty sure guys were drinking beer in the clubhouse in 2004 and 2007. I'm pretty sure they were doing it in 2009 and 2010. We can agree or disagree if it's right or wrong, but let's not pretend that it started on Sept. 1, 2011, in the clubhouse of the Boston Red Sox at Fenway Park (which is celebrating its 100th season -- so go buy a book about it, or listen to Doris Kearns Goodwin wax poetic, the point is to please do something boring to honor the most antiquated piece of real estate in America).

Josh Beckett stunk when it mattered most last season, but I have no clue -- none -- if it was because he drank beer and ate chicken. And neither do you and neither does any member of the Boston media. Sorry. But he did stink -- a 5.48 ERA in September -- and he did put on enough weight last season to at least semi-resemble Chaz Bono by the end of September. 

And, save for a slap-and-tickle spot with ol' buddy Kevin Millar, Beckett didn't address any of this stuff all offseason. Didn't feel the need to weigh in on Tito, Theo, Papelbon, Lackey, the greatest regular-season collapse in history, nothing. 

For many if not most fans (and plenty of the folks in the media), Beckett's almost staggering accountability after a lousy outing in the past was his most endearing quality. If John Lackey had an ounce of that, was smart enough to know that it isn't just OK to take some blame but almost a must in the eyes of fans, he wouldn't be as reviled a figure as he is today.

But Beckett -- again, for years as accountable an athlete as I can remember in this city -- went the Lackey route on Sunday morning. Beckett admitted that he had some "lapses in judgment," but that was about it. There was a definite and serious edge to Beckett, there was some teeth-grinding going on. First listing to and then watching Beckett on Sunday, I couldn't help thinking that he views himself as much as victim in this whole ordeal as anything else.

The weight gain? 

"I put on a little bit of weight. I don’t have a reason for it. But it happened."

Did his approach change at all during the season? 

"I never missed a workout. I was ready to pitch every time I pitched."

What was worse -- his lapses in judgment or the fact that we all got to read about them in Bob Holher's story in the Globe?

"I’m upset with myself for lapses of judgment. There’s also some ill feelings toward some people." 

Not an overwhelming performance, particularly following Jon Lester, who fell on the sword, got back up and fell on it again 15 minutes before Beckett spoke on Sunday. Watching Lester speak to the media, I was reminded of an exchange between Bob Haldeman (played by James Woods) and John Ehrlichman (played by the late and very great J.T. Walsh) in the 1995 film "Nixon." All Richard Nixon needed to do to halt Watergate when it first hit the public consciousness, Haldeman said, was say "eight simple words -- I covered up, I was wrong, I'm sorry." And that's really what Lester did to Chicken and Beer Gate (and yes, it physically hurts to write that phrase) on Sunday, at least regarding his role. 

"I don’t blame [the fans] for being mad," Lester said. "We didn’t play good. We stunk. I stunk. I take complete responsibility for it."

Done and done. On Feb. 19, Jon Lester said everything some people needed to hear, and Josh Beckett didn't say quite enough. 

And when it comes to the ultimate success of the 2012 Red Sox, all that means nothing. 

Lester is going to sit in the dugout more during games and Beckett is really pissed at … someone (Dave Page? Terry Francona? Bob Hohler? Kevin Youkilis? The guy who wrote the idiotic Jeremy Lin headline on ESPN.com?), it would seem. Swell. Does that guarantee that Clay Buchholz will pitch 200 innings this season? Does that guarantee a healthy season from Youkilis? Does that mean Andrew Bailey will be a top closer in Boston? Or that Daniel Bard will smoothly transition from the bullpen to the rotation? How about shortstop and right field? And isn't there a new manager?

Those are actual, legitimate, baseball problems that deserve discussion. Chicken and beer and apologies and half-apologies are, at the end of the day, pornography for the media. That's it. Gives us something to write and talk about when there's nothing really juicy to write and talk about. And we got almost five months out of it. Isn't it finally time to move on? Can we all agree that, unless they are the two biggest dopes on the planet, that Beckett and Lester won't be drinking beer and eating chicken in the clubhouse again? 

Action, not words, are what will truly matter. If Josh Beckett has the best season of his career (or something close) all will be forgiven and he'll be handed a pass for a "lapse in judgment." If he's hurt and misses a significant stretch of time, or has one of those lousy seasons that do already exist on his resume (see 2006 and 2009 -- for all the talk for Beckett being an "ace," this is a guy with a 4.04 ERA in over 1,100 IP with the Sox) what happened at the end of 2011 will continue to define him.

It's the most important season of Josh Beckett's career. Apologies aren't going to save him. Winning will.