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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

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MOST RECENT COLUMNS
02/01/12 02:40 EST
Four years ago this week leading up to the Super Bowl That Shall Not Be Named, I published an article in the paper edition of Barstool Sports about how I hate the New York Giants, why I hate the Giants, the depth of my hatred for the Giants, the way I grew up hating the Giants and all the different ways I hate the Giants. It was all about growing up in New England in how I've had to tolerate living in the shadow of Big Blue my whole life.Surrounded by older guys like my friends' dads who rooted for the Giants before there was a Patriots and passed that insufferable trait along to my friends. And how for my whole life we've been subjected to Giants games in the Boston TV market each and every damned Sunday the Pats aren't on. How every day they've ever lost a game was a good day for me, even times when they were losing double-digit games a year. And how the time Joe Pisarcik coughed it up at the end to cost them the game against Philly is one of the happiest, most vivid memories of my very
01/18/12 01:23 EST
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“A mind that is anxious about the future is miserable.” -- Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger “Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but in a positive way.” -- Wedding Crashers Rule No. 6 “All the negativity that’s in this town sucks!” -- Rick Pitino You haven’t lived through as many bad times in Boston sports as I have without learning a thing or two about negativity. And how sometimes it’s not a bad thing; it’s completely justified. The 40 years when the Patriots were the laughingstocks of football. The days of the ridiculous Red Sox “curse” talk. The decade-and-a-half of dark ages between the 1986 Celtics and the 2001 Patriots. And of course, the Pitino Era itself. Sometimes what people call “negativity” is nothing but the rational reaction of a sane mind. But is now really the time for it? I’m talking specifically about your 2011-12
01/04/12 01:36 EST
It turns out reports of the death of the Patriots Way were greatly exaggerated. You remember the idea of the Patriots Way of Doing Things, right? It’s something we used to talk about seriously -- with straight faces -- back about seven years ago. It was this notion that if you built a football team out of a bunch of hard-working, overachieving, high-character guys and got them to trust their coaches, trust each other and above all put the team first, you could beat teams with more talent and better combine numbers. Of course, not everyone bought into it. Even when February meant Super Bowl rings falling from the sky like snowflakes around here, the Boston sports media for the most part scoffed at the idea. The media said that the Pats were winning not because they bought into the team unity thing or they outworked everyone else or they were the best coached, but because they had the best athletes. As Dr. Evil himself, Ron Borges, is fond of saying, “It’s not the X's and
12/21/11 10:35 EST
One man’s annual countdown of the biggest miscreants, jerks, psychos, losers, mental defectives, morons, habitual criminal offenders, dirtbags and nitwits of the year: 10. The Miami Heat Not that anyone noticed, but the NBA had a lockout this year. And if you’d been paying attention (note: I wasn’t) you’d know that no one personified the cause of the thing as much as LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade. It’s funny, but it turns out that guys who shell out hundreds of millions of dollars to buy a business don’t feel like having their millionaire employees dictate who they will and will not play alongside. Apparently they’d like to pick their rosters, and they were willing to stay out of business to keep that right. Go figure. Not that NBA owners are all the most sympathetic figures to begin with, but even Mark Cuban (a guy I happen to like; a self-made billionaire who likes to be the turd in the NBA’s punchbowl can drink from my canteen



Audio On Demand

Former Patriot Matt Light…

Former Patriot Matt Light on the Pats offseason

Matt joined the program to discuss his first ever cornhole contest and to break down the Patriots offseason. He told the guys that he was upset that the Pats were unable to bring Wes Welker back to the team.

Tom Brady on the loss of Wes Welker

Tom Brady joined the program to discuss his upcoming charitable event supporting Best Buddies and his off-season. Tom said that he has learned not to worry about free agency decisions since he cant control any of them. Lastly he defended his over the top celebration at the Kentucky Derby.

It Is What It Is Cast: Examining the New England Patriots offseason

In the latest edition of the "It Is What It Is" podcast, Chris Price and CSNNE's Mike Giardi take a look at the Patriots offseason on both sides of the ball, try and get a handle on which new guys will make an impact first, and whether or not the Patriots have altered their style when it comes to drafting and developing wide receivers.

Jackie MacMullan on Doc: …

Jackie MacMullan on Doc: "He's coming back"

Jackie MacMullan joins Mut and Merloni to discuss the latest rumors surrounding Celtics head coach Doc Rivers and whether he'll be back next season with the team.

Celtics President Danny Ainge with Salk and Holley

We check in with Danny Ainge for our first talk to him since the Celtics season ended last weekend. We talk about the future of the team, KG, Pierce, Doc Rivers and more, as Danny directly answers the rumors being floated by ESPN's Stephen A. Smith.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPNBoston.com: "Gut" tells me Doc will stay

Jackie Mac joins the show to discuss the trade rumors swirling around Paul Pierce, KG, Doc Rivers and the Celtics. She also discusses the future of the Celtics head coach.

John Farrell Manager's Sh…

John Farrell Manager's Show w/ Dave O'Brien

Dave talked to the Sox skipper before the 3rd game of the Indians series. John said that the starting rotation is shaping into form.

Rob Bradford pregame before the third game of the Indians series

John Ryder talked to Rob from WEEI.com before the game. Rob said that John Lackey isn't having command problems, unlike many Tommy John patients.

Kevin Millar, MLB Network, on Tito's return to Fenway

Kevin Millar joins the show to discuss the slumps of Jacoby Ellsbury and Will Middlebrooks, Tito's return to Fenway, and his reaction Dan Shaunghnessy's controversial column.

Shawn Thornton Joins Salk…

Shawn Thornton Joins Salk and Holley

Shawn Thornton talks about what went wrong in Game 4 for the Bruins.

Andy Brickley, NESN, says he's not worried about Tuukka

Andy Brickley joins the show to discuss his reaction to game 4 of the Bruins-Rangers series, and how he sees the rest of the series playing out

NESN's Barry Pederson Bruins still in control

Barry joined the program to discuss the Bruins disappointing loss last night at MSG. He said that he was impressed with how Rask responded to questions after the game.

NESN's Barry Pederson say…

NESN's Barry Pederson says the Bruins are still in control

Barry joined the program to discuss the Bruins disappointing loss last night at MSG. He said that he was impressed with how Rask responded to questions after the game.

Rangers analyst Dave Maloney on game 4

Dave Maloney returned to the show to discuss his Rangers unlikely win in game 4. He said that in all his years playing and calling hockey games he had not seen a softer goal than the one Rask allowed.

Andy the bee keeper on his hives

Andy from Dartmouth called in to talk Bruins but the discussion quickly got off track when he mentioned his nine bee hives.

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sport…

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sports: on Bruins Rangers Game 4

McGuire joins the show to discuss the sub-par performance from Tuukka Rask, the Bruins young defensemen, and the potential for the Rangers to get back in the series.

Andy Brickley, NESN, says he's not worried about Tuukka

Andy Brickley joins the show to discuss his reaction to game 4 of the Bruins-Rangers series, and how he sees the rest of the series playing out

Kevin Millar, MLB Network, on Tito's return to Fenway

Kevin Millar joins the show to discuss the slumps of Jacoby Ellsbury and Will Middlebrooks, Tito's return to Fenway, and his reaction Dan Shaunghnessy's controversial column.

Shawn Thornton Joins Salk…

Shawn Thornton Joins Salk and Holley

Shawn Thornton calls in to talk about the Bruins losing in Game 4.

Tom Brady plays the good soldier role in discussing departure of Wes Welker

Tom Brady appeared with D and C this morning and talked about the team's OTA's, the comings and goings, and most importantly what went down when Wes Welker left town, and how does he feel about it?

Salk and Holley's Four at Four - 05/23/13

Four guys, four topics we haven't mentioned today. Mark Sanchez, the Pacers blow it and more.

Daily Planet Tuesday May …

Daily Planet Tuesday May 21st

The Bruins look to take a 3-0 series lead, Jon Lester gets his first loss, Dwight Howard has options in free agency.

Daily Planet Monday May 20th

Today on the Daily Planet the Bruins have a 2-0 lead over the New york Rangers, the Red Sox are back on the winning sde of things, and the noteable birthdays of the day.

Daily Planet Thursday May 9th

The Bruins have almost finished raking the Leafs, the Red Sox struggle from the mound, Miami Heat fans show their level of class.

Memorial Day Weekend "Jer…

Memorial Day Weekend "Jerk" Off

Callers bitch about the Bruins loss, and we answer how long it takes to get over a relationship.

Salk and Holley's Miked Up and Answer the Question - 05/23/13

Kirk's still a jerk, but we want a SWEEP!

Salk and Holley's Miked Up and Answer the Question - 05/22/13

The Jerks are joined by another, Jerk Minihane.

Tom Brady on the loss of …

Tom Brady on the loss of Wes Welker

Tom Brady joined the program to discuss his upcoming charitable event supporting Best Buddies and his off-season. Tom said that he has learned not to worry about free agency decisions since he cant control any of them. Lastly he defended his over the top celebration at the Kentucky Derby.

More from this show

Linda calls in to describ…

Linda calls in to describe the scene on Dexter St in Watertown

Linda explains how the shootout transpired in Watertown during the early morning hours. She saw the first suspect mortally wounded and police beginning the manhunt for the second suspect.

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Bobby Valentine: Job has …

Bobby Valentine: Job has been miserable, but part of my life's journey

A fiery Bobby Valentine joined Glenn Ordway and Michael Holley and fired back about rumors of him being late to the ballpark, the perception that he's given up on the year, and more on the 2012 Red Sox debacle.

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Red Sox GM Ben Cherington…

Red Sox GM Ben Cherington on Jacoby Ellsbury

Ben joined the program to discuss the return of Terry Francona and said that he always had a good relationship with the former manager. Ben added that he thinks Ellsbury is in a slump due in part to the amount of left handed pitchers the team has faced.

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Memorial Day Weekend "Jer…

Memorial Day Weekend "Jerk" Off

Callers bitch about the Bruins loss, and we answer how long it takes to get over a relationship.

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