Columnists
RSS Feed  RSS
Weei » Columnists » Jerry Thornton
About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is now a member of the Dale & Holley Show. Jerry previously wrote for BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton," but now is a contributor to WEEI.com. 

"Share
MOST RECENT COLUMNS
11/17/14 12:57 EST
Things to consider as I take Knee-Jerk Reactions to WEEI.com. Same grammatical mistakes. Same wildly misinformed football analysis. All-new location! -- This is yet another in a long string of bad weeks for the anti-Patriots cyberbullies. The professional panic lobby that has been grumbling that the Pats are squandering Brady's final years wake up today to them sitting on a TWO-game lead in the AFC. The Andrew Luck fanboys who raced to anoint him and the Colts The Next Big Thing do the math and find that in three meetings the Pats have outscored them 144-66. The shrill naysayers who griped they were only beating up tomato cans just watched them blow out the top two teams in the conference. And the hysterical nincompoops who screamed about the Patriots not giving Brady any “weapons” have to come to grips with the fact that they've scored more points than Indy or Denver and are seven behind Green Bay for the league lead. -- If you're one of those rabid Patriots haters, you must
02/01/12 01:40 EST
SPONSORED LINKS
Four years ago this week leading up to the Super Bowl That Shall Not Be Named, I published an article in the paper edition of Barstool Sports about how I hate the New York Giants, why I hate the Giants, the depth of my hatred for the Giants, the way I grew up hating the Giants and all the different ways I hate the Giants. It was all about growing up in New England in how I've had to tolerate living in the shadow of Big Blue my whole life.Surrounded by older guys like my friends' dads who rooted for the Giants before there was a Patriots and passed that insufferable trait along to my friends. And how for my whole life we've been subjected to Giants games in the Boston TV market each and every damned Sunday the Pats aren't on. How every day they've ever lost a game was a good day for me, even times when they were losing double-digit games a year. And how the time Joe Pisarcik coughed it up at the end to cost them the game against Philly is one of the happiest, most vivid memories of my very
01/18/12 12:23 EST
“A mind that is anxious about the future is miserable.” -- Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger “Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but in a positive way.” -- Wedding Crashers Rule No. 6 “All the negativity that’s in this town sucks!” -- Rick Pitino You haven’t lived through as many bad times in Boston sports as I have without learning a thing or two about negativity. And how sometimes it’s not a bad thing; it’s completely justified. The 40 years when the Patriots were the laughingstocks of football. The days of the ridiculous Red Sox “curse” talk. The decade-and-a-half of dark ages between the 1986 Celtics and the 2001 Patriots. And of course, the Pitino Era itself. Sometimes what people call “negativity” is nothing but the rational reaction of a sane mind. But is now really the time for it? I’m talking specifically about your 2011-12
01/04/12 12:36 EST
It turns out reports of the death of the Patriots Way were greatly exaggerated. You remember the idea of the Patriots Way of Doing Things, right? It’s something we used to talk about seriously -- with straight faces -- back about seven years ago. It was this notion that if you built a football team out of a bunch of hard-working, overachieving, high-character guys and got them to trust their coaches, trust each other and above all put the team first, you could beat teams with more talent and better combine numbers. Of course, not everyone bought into it. Even when February meant Super Bowl rings falling from the sky like snowflakes around here, the Boston sports media for the most part scoffed at the idea. The media said that the Pats were winning not because they bought into the team unity thing or they outworked everyone else or they were the best coached, but because they had the best athletes. As Dr. Evil himself, Ron Borges, is fond of saying, “It’s not the X's and



Audio On Demand

Michael Irvin with Dale a…

Michael Irvin with Dale and Holley

We check in with the playmaker, Hall of Famer Michael Irvin joins us for his weekly conversation about the NFL. We talk to Michael about the Raiders first win, the LeGarrette Blount saga, and how Patriots-Lions might play out.

Kyle Arrington previews Pats-Lions 11-21-14

Just out of practice, Kyle Arrington joins the guys to preview Pats-Lions

11-19-14-TragsPriceWedsCast

WEEI.com's Mike Petraglia and Chris Price preview Sunday's Patriots-Lions game and discuss what the Pats offense needs to do against Detroit's front seven, as well as what the Pats defense can do against Calvin Johnson.

We Hate Dwayne Wade - Mar…

We Hate Dwayne Wade - Marcus Smart injury 11-12-14

How have the Celtics looked after a couple weeks? Could they be a playoff team? These questions and more...

WHDW - Greg Dickerson Joins the Show to talk Celtics

Sam and Ben talk with Greg Dickerson about how fun this year's Celtics team is to watch as well Jeff Green trade ideas.

Kyle Draper, Comcast Sports New England, Celtics will compete for a playoff spot this season

Kyle Draper joins Danny Picard to talk about the Celtics chances this season in the Eastern Conference, last Wednesday's home opener blowout against the Nets, and Rajon Rondo's future in Boston

Brian MacPherson, Provide…

Brian MacPherson, Providence Journal

Red Sox beat writer Brian MacPherson joins Danny Picard to talk about the Red Sox going after Jon Lester and other free agents.

Hot Stove Show 11-20-14

The Hot Stove guys are talking about Pablo Sandoval and Jon Lester's contract offers from the Red Sox. They then por one out for the Giancarlo Stanton rumors being put to bed.

Hot Stove Show 11-13-14

The Hot Stove boys are back again, talking about Jon Lester, Pablo Sandoval, Giancarlo Stanton's b

NESN's Jack Edwards with …

NESN's Jack Edwards with Dale and Holley

Dale and Michael get Jack Edwards' 'state of the B' report and talk about the win over the Blues at the Garden on Tuesday.

Andy Brickley, NESN, talks about the Bruins 2-0 win over St. Louis, 11-19-14

Andy Brickley joined the show and touched on last night's convincing win over a good team, Matt Bartkowski needing a wake up call, and the NHL review process.

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sports. NHL should have a coach's challenge 11-13-14

Pierre joins the guys to talk about the Bruins struggles, the NHL franchise in Las Vegas, and the return of the glow puck!

Boston College Steve Adda…

Boston College Steve Addazio on Florida State 11-21-14

BC's head coach joined the show to preview the Florida State game.

Rodney Harrison on Gronk 11-21-14

Rodney Harrison previewed the Patriots and Lions with the guys.

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: President Obama's new immigration policy 11-21-14

The top stories of the as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

Christian's Dad, Detectiv…

Christian's Dad, Detective Fauria tales for VICE squad 11-21-14

Detective Fauria tells us the infamous gloryhole story from VICE squad and other stories Christian's past.

Kyle Arrington previews Pats-Lions 11-21-14

Just out of practice, Kyle Arrington joins the guys to preview Pats-Lions

Christian Fauria prank calls Detroit sports radio 97.1 The Ticket; praises nephew Joseph Fauria 11-21-14

Christian in Foxboro returns, this time he's trolling Detroit sports radio station 97.1 The Ticket's Stoney and Bill show . Christian rips Lions fans and asks why his nephew, Joseph, isn't getting the ball more.

Michael Irvin: Bill Belic…

Michael Irvin: Bill Belichick manages people as well as he manages X's and O's

We check in with the playmaker Michael Irvin for his weekly update on all things NFL. We talk to Michael about the Raiders first win, the LeGarrette Blount saga, and how the Pats will do against the Lions this weekend.

Great week turns sour for Jonas Gray as he reportedly gets sent home for being late to practice

Michael and Dale discuss Jonas Gray's tardiness, and try and predict how the running-back will respond and make up for his error.

Which Patriots team do the 2014 Patriots remind you most of?

We talk with Tom E Curran and debate whether or not the Patriots current performance is more reminiscent of the 2004 or 2007 Patriots.

Brandon Alisoglu gives us…

Brandon Alisoglu gives us an analysis of the Lions

Brandon covers the NFL, particularly the Detroit Lions for Bleacher Report. He gives us his thoughts on this Sunday's game and how the Lions stack up against the Patriots.

Cold, Hard Football Talk

Mikey, Villani, Lenny and Kerry Byrne are talking Patriots-Lions and how the team this year stacks up to Patriots teams of the past.

Wonderin' Why the Lions Suck

Some more Musical Mikey Magic to get ready for Sunday's Patriots-Lions game.

UnSportsManLike Podcast -…

UnSportsManLike Podcast - 30 for 30 Ideas 11-21-14

Jerry Thornton's first podcast explores sports stories that would make for interesting 30 for 30 documentaries.

College Puckcast with Andy Merritt and Merrimack coach Mark Dennehy

Andy Merritt of the New England Hockey Journal joined WEEI.com’s Scott McLaughlin to talk about the play of Vermont and Providence, as well as other happenings around Hockey East. Merrimack coach Mark Dennehy also joined the show to talk about his team’s good start, his freshman class and how he uses possession stats.

We Hate Dwyane Wade - Mike Mutnansky Talks Hated Players and Rajon Rondo.

Joining the show today Mut the all-purpose back of WEEI. We talk about players we have hated over the years as well as Rajon Rondo and what is ailing the Celtics.

Adam Schefter: I'm pickin…

Adam Schefter: I'm picking Detriot 11-21-14

Adam Schefter joins the guys to give his prediction for Pats-Lions, talks about the snow in Buffalo, and the Adrian Peterson saga.

More from this show

The Patriots win again wi…

The Patriots win again without taking the field 11-21-14

The guys opened the show discussing the Raiders win over the Chiefs.

More from this show

Rodney Harrison on Gronk …

Rodney Harrison on Gronk 11-21-14

Rodney Harrison previewed the Patriots and Lions with the guys.

More from this show

We should have seen the r…

We should have seen the resigning of LeGarrette Blount by the Patriots coming

Michael and Dale discuss the return of LGB, and how the move really wasn't that surprising to begin with.

More from this show

Christian Fauria prank ca…

Christian Fauria prank calls Detroit sports radio WDFN; praises nephew Joseph Fauria

Christian in Foxboro returns, this time he's trolling Detroit sports radio station WDFN's Shep in the Morning Show. Christian rips Lions fans and asks why his nephew, Joseph, isn't getting the ball more.

More from this show

Weei Writers