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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

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MOST RECENT COLUMNS
02/01/12 02:40 EST
Four years ago this week leading up to the Super Bowl That Shall Not Be Named, I published an article in the paper edition of Barstool Sports about how I hate the New York Giants, why I hate the Giants, the depth of my hatred for the Giants, the way I grew up hating the Giants and all the different ways I hate the Giants. It was all about growing up in New England in how I've had to tolerate living in the shadow of Big Blue my whole life.Surrounded by older guys like my friends' dads who rooted for the Giants before there was a Patriots and passed that insufferable trait along to my friends. And how for my whole life we've been subjected to Giants games in the Boston TV market each and every damned Sunday the Pats aren't on. How every day they've ever lost a game was a good day for me, even times when they were losing double-digit games a year. And how the time Joe Pisarcik coughed it up at the end to cost them the game against Philly is one of the happiest, most vivid memories of my very
01/18/12 01:23 EST
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“A mind that is anxious about the future is miserable.” -- Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger “Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but in a positive way.” -- Wedding Crashers Rule No. 6 “All the negativity that’s in this town sucks!” -- Rick Pitino You haven’t lived through as many bad times in Boston sports as I have without learning a thing or two about negativity. And how sometimes it’s not a bad thing; it’s completely justified. The 40 years when the Patriots were the laughingstocks of football. The days of the ridiculous Red Sox “curse” talk. The decade-and-a-half of dark ages between the 1986 Celtics and the 2001 Patriots. And of course, the Pitino Era itself. Sometimes what people call “negativity” is nothing but the rational reaction of a sane mind. But is now really the time for it? I’m talking specifically about your 2011-12
01/04/12 01:36 EST
It turns out reports of the death of the Patriots Way were greatly exaggerated. You remember the idea of the Patriots Way of Doing Things, right? It’s something we used to talk about seriously -- with straight faces -- back about seven years ago. It was this notion that if you built a football team out of a bunch of hard-working, overachieving, high-character guys and got them to trust their coaches, trust each other and above all put the team first, you could beat teams with more talent and better combine numbers. Of course, not everyone bought into it. Even when February meant Super Bowl rings falling from the sky like snowflakes around here, the Boston sports media for the most part scoffed at the idea. The media said that the Pats were winning not because they bought into the team unity thing or they outworked everyone else or they were the best coached, but because they had the best athletes. As Dr. Evil himself, Ron Borges, is fond of saying, “It’s not the X's and
12/21/11 10:35 EST
One man’s annual countdown of the biggest miscreants, jerks, psychos, losers, mental defectives, morons, habitual criminal offenders, dirtbags and nitwits of the year: 10. The Miami Heat Not that anyone noticed, but the NBA had a lockout this year. And if you’d been paying attention (note: I wasn’t) you’d know that no one personified the cause of the thing as much as LeBron James, Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade. It’s funny, but it turns out that guys who shell out hundreds of millions of dollars to buy a business don’t feel like having their millionaire employees dictate who they will and will not play alongside. Apparently they’d like to pick their rosters, and they were willing to stay out of business to keep that right. Go figure. Not that NBA owners are all the most sympathetic figures to begin with, but even Mark Cuban (a guy I happen to like; a self-made billionaire who likes to be the turd in the NBA’s punchbowl can drink from my canteen



Audio On Demand

Former Patriot Tedy Brusc…

Former Patriot Tedy Bruschi with Dale and Holley

We check in with Full Tilt, Full Time Tedy Bruschi for his take on the poor play of the New England Patriots, and where they go from here.\

Vince Wilfork with Dale and Holley

The big nose tackle joins Dale and Holley the day after one of the worst losses in recent Patriots history.

Bill Belichick with Dale and Holley

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Bo…

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston, "I think Rondo is going to go, I just don't see where and how yet" 7-17-14

Jackie Mac joins the guys to discuss her thoughts on a possible mid-season tournament in the NBA, LeBron's return to Cleveland, trade rumors with the Celtics and Red Sox, and Darrelle Revis' contract situation.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston: I believe Rondo will be traded 7-10-14

Jackie MacMullan of ESPN Boston to talk about the Lebron James Saga, the possibility of Rajon Rondo being traded, and the future of Marcus Smart.

OK State Men's Basketball coach, Travis Ford, joins MFB to talk about Marcus Smart, 6-30-14

Former coach of Celtics 1st-round pick Marcus Smart, Travis Ford joins MFB to talk about what Celtics fans should expect from the strong point guard. Among other things, Coach Ford says Smart will be a hard worker, and will improve his shooting ability.

Joe Castiglione wraps up …

Joe Castiglione wraps up the 2014 Red Sox Season with a Poem

Joe Castiglione does his annual wrap-up of the season by reading the poem by Bart Giamatti.

Mut and Bradford on the disappointing season for Jackie Bradley, Jr and Xander Bogaerts 9-28-14

Mut and Rob discuss the "kids" and the variety of young bodies the Red Sox called upon this season. Specifically, they look at Bogaerts and Bradley, Jr. and where things went wrong. They give their opinions on which one will right the ship next season.

Minor Details Ep. 101: Red Sox director of player development Ben Crockett on the state of the Red Sox system

Description: Red Sox farm director Ben Crockett looks back at the 2014 Red Sox prospect season by answering listener questions about a number of Red Sox prospects as well as broader issues and themes in the farm system.

Bruins sign Torey Krug an…

Bruins sign Torey Krug and Reilly Smith, 9-29-14

DJ Bean, WEEI.com, joined the guys to talk about the Bruins signing two young stars to 1-year contracts.

The Bradfo Show: Talking Bruins roster moves with DJ Bean, Turtleboy

Rob Bradford is joined by WEEI.com Bruins beat writer DJ Bean, as well as Boston sports fan/blogger Turtleboy to talk all things Bruins free agency. With the B's recent moves, the conversation turns to where the Bruins might next turn and what kind of dent losing Jarome Iginla and Shawn Thornton might make.

DJ Bean breaks down the first hours of NHL Free Agency 7-1-14

DJ discusses Shawn Thornton's new deal, and the on going negotiations with Jerome Iginla

Headlines, Headlines, Hea…

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: Magic's son has a surgery 9-30-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

The Patriots are a bad football team 9-30-14

The guys opened the show discussing the Pats brutal Monday night loss.

Dino walks out mid segment 9-30-14

John Dennis left the show mid segment.

Three For All - Joe Fauri…

Three For All - Joe Fauria injures himself house-breaking his puppy, 9-30-14

Christian's nephew twisted his ankle and missed Sunday's game because he (supposedly) slipped while rushing down the stairs to stop his puppy from peeing on the floor. Lou addresses the Unsportsmanlike Conduct penalty from last night's game, in which a Chiefs player was flagged for dropping to his knees during a TD celebration. And Christian is dubious of some photos of LaRon Landry.

Tom Brady has no weapons, 9-30-14

A familiar sentiment has arisen regarding the Patriots offense. Tom Brady is locking in on 2 guys (Edelman and Gronk) and no one else seems to be getting a look. A 37 year old, future Hall of Fame QB, has little to no weapons in 2014.

Pats get crushed by the Chiefs on MNF, 9-30-14

Lou, Christian and Tim break down last night's embarrassing loss on national television. They wonder just how much progress has been made towards building a championship team.

Bill Belichick: Brady cam…

Bill Belichick: Brady came out when the game was out of hand

A less than chipper Bill Belichick joins Dale, Michael and Steve DeOssie the day after the Patriots got blown out on Monday Night in KC.

Vince Wilfork: We need to play more aggressively and not over-think things

The big nose tackle joins Dale and Holley the day after one of the worst losses in recent Patriots history.

Tedy Bruschi: Right now Tom Brady isn't an elite QB

We check in with Full Tilt, Full Time Tedy Bruschi for his take on the poor play of the New England Patriots, and where they go from here.

The Patriots defense vs t…

The Patriots defense vs the running game

Mut and Chris Villani are talking about the issues the Patriots defense faced against the Kansas City Chiefs, particularly in the running game.

Are the Patriots weak?

The Patriots seemed to have no answer for the Kansas City Chiefs. Mut and Price talk about how the Patriots were exposed in all aspects of the game.

Mut and Price talk about where it all went wrong for the Patriots

Mut is in for Mikey and Chris Price of WEEI.com is in with him. The guys talk about the Patriots defense, inability of the offense to stay on the field, and coaching adjustments or lack thereof.

SoccerCast MLS Latest/Cha…

SoccerCast MLS Latest/Champions League

Ben and Russ break down some rumors surrounding Real Madrid and Manchester United. Also on the docket is the MLS and your New England Revolution.

D&C's Breaking Balls Podcast: Gerry loves Brady and the guys are going to lunch 9-30-14

Dino, Gerry and Kirk talk about Gerry's passionate defense of Tom Brady, going to lunch and clock issues in the third edition of Breaking Balls.

Minor Details Ep. 101: Red Sox director of player development Ben Crockett on the state of the Red Sox system

Red Sox farm director Ben Crockett looks back at the 2014 Red Sox prospect season by answering listener questions about a number of Red Sox prospects as well as broader issues and themes in the farm system.

D&C's Breaking Balls Podc…

D&C's Breaking Balls Podcast: Gerry loves Brady and the guys are going to lunch 9-30-14

Dino, Gerry and Kirk talk about Gerry's passionate defense of Tom Brady, going to lunch and clock issues in the third edition of Breaking Balls.

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Dino walks out mid segmen…

Dino walks out mid segment 9-30-14

John Dennis left the show mid segment.

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Tim Hasselbeck on Patriot…

Tim Hasselbeck on Patriots Chiefs 9-29-14

Tim Hasselbeck on tonight's game at Arrowhead.

More from this show

The Patriots are a bad fo…

The Patriots are a bad football team 9-30-14

The guys opened the show discussing the Pats brutal Monday night loss.

More from this show

Tom Brady has no weapons,…

Tom Brady has no weapons, 9-30-14

A familiar sentiment has arisen regarding the Patriots offense. Tom Brady is locking in on 2 guys (Edelman and Gronk) and no one else seems to be getting a look. A 37 year old, future Hall of Fame QB, has little to no weapons in 2014.

More from this show

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