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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
04/07/2010 - 12:06am
I waited my whole life for someone to come along, buy the Red Sox, and accomplish two things: 1) Win championships. And, 2) Clean up the decrepit, tenement slum that was Fenway Park.
Jerry Thornton
03/31/2010 - 6:52am
It’s often said that race is the third rail of politics. And since that’s the place where race actually was meant to be addressed, then dealing with the issue in a wise-assy, fan-oriented sports column is pretty much the equivalent of climbing into the bathtub, sitting down in the water and deciding it would be a good place to start heating up some Toaster Strudels.
Jerry Thornton
03/24/2010 - 7:21am
Last Thursday’s Bruins-Pittsburgh matchup was one of those rare moments in sports that comes along maybe once a year, if you’re lucky. And even then, only if your team is relevant.
Jerry Thornton
03/16/2010 - 7:47pm
Last week in this space, I wrote a column called “The Geeks Will Inherit the Earth.” The premise of the piece can be summed up in a few simple sentences.
Jerry Thornton
03/10/2010 - 1:27am
Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m wildly, consistently and preternaturally optimistic about the Red Sox, especially this time of year.
Jerry Thornton
03/03/2010 - 12:05am
What just took place between hockey and me has probably happened to every one of us at one time or another.
Jerry Thornton
02/24/2010 - 12:13am
I would like to apologize to everyone. That’s not to say I feel like I have anything to apologize for. Nor am I under the delusion anyone cares enough about what I do or say to expect an apology. I mean what I said quite literally. I would like to apologize. To everyone. Just because I think it would be fun.
Jerry Thornton
02/17/2010 - 12:30am
I might be the only guy in Boston who’s man enough to admit this publicly, but I’m watching the Winter Olympics. And I mean hours and hours of the Winter Olympics. You know how much time your lazy 14-year-old son squanders playing “Halo 3”? That’s how much time I’m spending in front of the Olympic coverage.
Jerry Thornton
02/10/2010 - 8:02am
“It is not enough that I should succeed.  Others must fail.” — Broadway producer David Merrick
Jerry Thornton
02/03/2010 - 2:09am
Generally speaking, I’m a pretty mainstream guy. I tend to like the things the general public likes. I eat at chain restaurants. Buy clothes at outlet stores. Drive a cheap, ordinary make and model of car. Watch the shows everyone is talking about.
Jerry Thornton
01/27/2010 - 2:16am
When you think about it, we didn’t have to become sports fans. Nobody put a gun to our head and forced us.
Jerry Thornton
01/21/2010 - 8:43am
When you’re a sports blogger and you’re aware of the fact that your target demographic is (slightly) younger than you, you think twice before you write anything that says things were better back in the day.
Jerry Thornton
01/14/2010 - 9:49am
I was at a party over the holidays where someone raised one of those deep, existential questions that only seem to come up late at night after polishing off a couple of plastic bottles of discount store-brand scotch and a cheese ball with the size (and destructive power) of the Death Star. And that question was:


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