Columnists
RSS Feed  RSS
Weei » Columnists » Jerry Thornton » Jerry Thornton Archive
About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
04/07/2010 - 12:06am
I waited my whole life for someone to come along, buy the Red Sox, and accomplish two things: 1) Win championships. And, 2) Clean up the decrepit, tenement slum that was Fenway Park.
Jerry Thornton
03/31/2010 - 6:52am
It’s often said that race is the third rail of politics. And since that’s the place where race actually was meant to be addressed, then dealing with the issue in a wise-assy, fan-oriented sports column is pretty much the equivalent of climbing into the bathtub, sitting down in the water and deciding it would be a good place to start heating up some Toaster Strudels.
Jerry Thornton
03/24/2010 - 7:21am
Last Thursday’s Bruins-Pittsburgh matchup was one of those rare moments in sports that comes along maybe once a year, if you’re lucky. And even then, only if your team is relevant.
Jerry Thornton
03/16/2010 - 7:47pm
Last week in this space, I wrote a column called “The Geeks Will Inherit the Earth.” The premise of the piece can be summed up in a few simple sentences.
Jerry Thornton
03/10/2010 - 1:27am
Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m wildly, consistently and preternaturally optimistic about the Red Sox, especially this time of year.
Jerry Thornton
03/03/2010 - 12:05am
What just took place between hockey and me has probably happened to every one of us at one time or another.
Jerry Thornton
02/24/2010 - 12:13am
I would like to apologize to everyone. That’s not to say I feel like I have anything to apologize for. Nor am I under the delusion anyone cares enough about what I do or say to expect an apology. I mean what I said quite literally. I would like to apologize. To everyone. Just because I think it would be fun.
Jerry Thornton
02/17/2010 - 12:30am
I might be the only guy in Boston who’s man enough to admit this publicly, but I’m watching the Winter Olympics. And I mean hours and hours of the Winter Olympics. You know how much time your lazy 14-year-old son squanders playing “Halo 3”? That’s how much time I’m spending in front of the Olympic coverage.
Jerry Thornton
02/10/2010 - 8:02am
“It is not enough that I should succeed.  Others must fail.” — Broadway producer David Merrick
Jerry Thornton
02/03/2010 - 2:09am
Generally speaking, I’m a pretty mainstream guy. I tend to like the things the general public likes. I eat at chain restaurants. Buy clothes at outlet stores. Drive a cheap, ordinary make and model of car. Watch the shows everyone is talking about.
Jerry Thornton
01/27/2010 - 2:16am
When you think about it, we didn’t have to become sports fans. Nobody put a gun to our head and forced us.
Jerry Thornton
01/21/2010 - 8:43am
When you’re a sports blogger and you’re aware of the fact that your target demographic is (slightly) younger than you, you think twice before you write anything that says things were better back in the day.
Jerry Thornton
01/14/2010 - 9:49am
I was at a party over the holidays where someone raised one of those deep, existential questions that only seem to come up late at night after polishing off a couple of plastic bottles of discount store-brand scotch and a cheese ball with the size (and destructive power) of the Death Star. And that question was:


Audio On Demand

Patriots Nose Tackle Vinc…

Patriots Nose Tackle Vince Wilfork with Dale and Holley

We check in with Big Vince on a Patriots Monday as the Pats prepare to travel to Miami to take on the Dolphins in week one.

Tedy Bruschi with Dale and Holley

We check in with Full Tilt TB for a new weekly segment with Tedy, featuring a look at all things Patriots and NFL football.

Head Coach Bill Belichick with Dale and Holley

We check with with the HC of the NEP on a Patriots Monday on a Tuesday as the Pats prep for the Dolphins this coming Sunday. Bill touches on Gronk's desire to play, the departure of Logan Mankins and more.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Bo…

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston, "I think Rondo is going to go, I just don't see where and how yet" 7-17-14

Jackie Mac joins the guys to discuss her thoughts on a possible mid-season tournament in the NBA, LeBron's return to Cleveland, trade rumors with the Celtics and Red Sox, and Darrelle Revis' contract situation.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston: I believe Rondo will be traded 7-10-14

Jackie MacMullan of ESPN Boston to talk about the Lebron James Saga, the possibility of Rajon Rondo being traded, and the future of Marcus Smart.

OK State Men's Basketball coach, Travis Ford, joins MFB to talk about Marcus Smart, 6-30-14

Former coach of Celtics 1st-round pick Marcus Smart, Travis Ford joins MFB to talk about what Celtics fans should expect from the strong point guard. Among other things, Coach Ford says Smart will be a hard worker, and will improve his shooting ability.

Minor Details Ep. 99: 201…

Minor Details Ep. 99: 2014 Down on the Farm Player and Pitcher of the Year

With the minor league season wrapping up, Minor Details recognizes and checks in with its Red Sox Minor League Pitcher of the Year, left-hander Brian Johnson, and Player of the Year, second baseman/outfielder Mookie Betts.

Xander Bogaerts Player of the Game Interview

Joe and Dave talk with Red Sox shortstop Xander Bogaerts after he goes 4-5 in the Red Sox 9-4 win over the New York Yankees.

Clay Buchholz with Joe Castiglione after his shutout in Tampa Bay

Joe talked to the Sox right-hander, who allowed three hits and zero walks in the 3-0 win over the Rays.

The Bradfo Show: Talking …

The Bradfo Show: Talking Bruins roster moves with DJ Bean, Turtleboy

Rob Bradford is joined by WEEI.com Bruins beat writer DJ Bean, as well as Boston sports fan/blogger Turtleboy to talk all things Bruins free agency. With the B's recent moves, the conversation turns to where the Bruins might next turn and what kind of dent losing Jarome Iginla and Shawn Thornton might make.

DJ Bean breaks down the first hours of NHL Free Agency 7-1-14

DJ discusses Shawn Thornton's new deal, and the on going negotiations with Jerome Iginla

DJ Bean, WEEI.com. The Bruins are not traded Marchand 6-13-14

DJ Bean joins the program to dismiss the recent rumors that the Bruins are in discussions to trade Brad Marchand to the Sharks for Patrick Marleau

Tom Brady on the Logan Ma…

Tom Brady on the Logan Mankins trade 9-2-14

Tom Brady discussed his feelings on the Logan Mankins trade and the return of Gronk.

Tim Hasselbeck on the start of the NFL season 9-2-14

Tim joined the show to discuss the start of the NFL season and the future of Tom Brady.

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: Hacked celebrities 9-2-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

Rodney Harrison joins MFB…

Rodney Harrison joins MFB to talk Patriots expectation, 9-2-14

Rodney Harrison joins the show, as he will do every week during the NFL season. This week he talked about what to expect from the Patriots this year. He thinks Brady can play can for another 10 or 15 years due to the rules changes. He also said that due to his size, NFL defensive players will continue to target Rob Gronkowski's knees.

Three For All - Nude Celebrity photos leaked! 9-2-14

The iCloud was hacked over Labor Day weekend and over 300 scandalous photos were hacked from the phones and iPads of celebrities. And the guy who replaced Michael Sam, Ethan Westbrooks, got a tattoo on his face to motivate himself from ever having a "normal" job.

Patriots DE Chandler Jones joins MFB, 9-2-14

On this Patriots Monday (on a Tuesday) Chandler Jones talks about getting ready for the Miami Dolphins and his upcoming battle with Brandon Albert. The guys also asked about J.J. Watt's 100 million dollar contract.

Vince Wilfork: It's bette…

Vince Wilfork: It's better to go to Miami earlier in the season

We check in with Big Vince on a Patriots Monday as the Pats prepare to travel to Miami to take on the Dolphins in week one.

Tedy Bruschi: Gronk is just excited and ready to go

We check in with Full Tilt TB for a new weekly segment with Tedy, featuring a look at all things Patriots and NFL football.

Bill Belichick: This will be a decision we make, not Rob (Gronkowski)

We check with with the HC of the NEP on a Patriots Monday on a Tuesday as the Pats prep for the Dolphins this coming Sunday. Bill touches on Gronk's desire to play, the departure of Logan Mankins and more.

Jim Koch joins Planet Mik…

Jim Koch joins Planet Mikey

Co-founder and chairman of the Boston Beer Company, Jim Koch, talks about his Sam Adams beer and the history of his brewery.

Danny Picard talks Red Sox and Patriots with Mike Giardi

Danny picard is filling in for Mikey and talks with CSNNE's Mike Giardi about Clay Buchholz heading up the Red Sox pitching rotation, and how the Patriots have looked through training camp so far.

Jon Lester's Contract Situation and the Future

Mut and Villani are talking about whether the Red Sox will give Jon Lester the type of contract he is looking for, or whether they might be shopping him with rumors of the Red Sox scouting Cole Hamels.

Minor Details Ep. 99: 201…

Minor Details Ep. 99: 2014 Down on the Farm Player and Pitcher of the Year

With the minor league season wrapping up, Minor Details recognizes and checks in with its Red Sox Minor League Pitcher of the Year, left-hander Brian Johnson, and Player of the Year, second baseman/outfielder Mookie Betts.

Fantasy Football Podcast: Auction drafts, big names to avoid, and more! 8-31-14

Fantasy Football Drafts are now happening every day, so Pete Davidson and Jim Hackett have you covered. The NFL season kicks off on Thursday night, so Pete and Jim get their final thoughts of some drafting strategies. They discuss their Auction draft from earlier in the week. Also, some big name players that smart drafters should avoid.

Fantasy Football Podcast: Late Round Targets Edition

We know your Fantasy Football drafts are happening right now, so Jim Hackett and Pete Davidson are here to help. We know you’d never blow off work to draft right? Turn up the speakers! Our fantasy guys chat up Pete’s most recent article on WEEI.com that offers background on several players you can target late in drafts across multiple league sizes; covering upside players to grab in 8-team leagues, 10-team leagues, 12-team leagues and 14-team leagues. Jim and Pete will be back at 7:30 a.m. on Sunday morning on your radio dial, 93.7 FM, with more ammo for all this weekend’s drafters. Good luck!

Tom Brady on the Logan Ma…

Tom Brady on the Logan Mankins trade 9-2-14

Tom Brady discussed his feelings on the Logan Mankins trade and the return of Gronk.

More from this show

Tim Hasselbeck on the sta…

Tim Hasselbeck on the start of the NFL season 9-2-14

Tim joined the show to discuss the start of the NFL season and the future of Tom Brady.

More from this show

Tom Brady says Logan Mank…

Tom Brady says Logan Mankins stood for Patriots Football, 9-2-14

Tom Brady was on D&C this morning and spoke about the Logan Mankins trade. Brady spoke glowingly about his former teammate. MFB try to figure out how upset Brady is over the trade.

More from this show

Rodney Harrison joins MFB…

Rodney Harrison joins MFB to talk Patriots expectation, 9-2-14

Rodney Harrison joins the show, as he will do every week during the NFL season. This week he talked about what to expect from the Patriots this year. He thinks Brady can play can for another 10 or 15 years due to the rules changes. He also said that due to his size, NFL defensive players will continue to target Rob Gronkowski's knees.

More from this show

Headlines, Headlines, Hea…

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: Hacked celebrities 9-2-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

More from this show

Weei Writers