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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
04/07/2010 - 12:06am
Is being a Sox fan getting to be too cute?
I waited my whole life for someone to come along, buy the Red Sox, and accomplish two things: 1) Win championships. And, 2) Clean up the decrepit, tenement slum that was Fenway Park.
Jerry Thornton
03/31/2010 - 6:52am
Are Boston fans racist?
It’s often said that race is the third rail of politics.
Jerry Thornton
03/24/2010 - 7:21am
I wish I could quit you
Last Thursday’s Bruins-Pittsburgh matchup was one of those rare moments in sports that comes along maybe once a year, if you’re lucky. And even then, only if your team is relevant.
Jerry Thornton
03/16/2010 - 7:47pm
Feel the love: Readers get their revenge on Thornton
Last week in this space, I wrote a column called “The Geeks Will Inherit the Earth.” The premise of the piece can be summed up in a few simple sentences. “Advanced baseball stats are becoming more and more prevalent. It seems like every offseason move the Sox made was based on them. Guys who believe in sabermetrics take themselves really seriously.
Jerry Thornton
03/10/2010 - 1:27am
The geeks will inherit the earth
Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m wildly, consistently and preternaturally optimistic about the Red Sox, especially this time of year.
Jerry Thornton
03/03/2010 - 12:05am
A love story gone wrong
What just took place between hockey and me has probably happened to every one of us at one time or another.
Jerry Thornton
02/24/2010 - 12:13am
The Experts Guide to Public Apologies
I would like to apologize to everyone. That’s not to say I feel like I have anything to apologize for. Nor am I under the delusion anyone cares enough about what I do or say to expect an apology. I mean what I said quite literally. I would like to apologize. To everyone. Just because I think it would be fun.
Jerry Thornton
02/17/2010 - 12:30am
Why I love the Winter Olympics
I might be the only guy in Boston who’s man enough to admit this publicly, but I’m watching the Winter Olympics. And I mean hours and hours of the Winter Olympics. You know how much time your lazy 14-year-old son squanders playing “Halo 3”? That’s how much time I’m spending in front of the Olympic coverage.
Jerry Thornton
02/10/2010 - 8:02am
If hating the Colts is wrong, I don't want to be right
“It is not enough that I should succeed.  Others must fail.” — Broadway producer David Merrick
Jerry Thornton
02/03/2010 - 2:09am
Pondering how many ways one can hate Peyton Manning
Generally speaking, I’m a pretty mainstream guy. I tend to like the things the general public likes. I eat at chain restaurants. Buy clothes at outlet stores. Drive a cheap, ordinary make and model of car. Watch the shows everyone is talking about.
Jerry Thornton
01/27/2010 - 2:16am
Breaking down the Boston fan bases
When you think about it, we didn’t have to become sports fans. Nobody put a gun to our head and forced us. Your parents didn’t threaten to take your Atari game system away unless you finished reading the American League boxscores or told you you couldn’t start your homework until you were all finished filling out your NFL betting card.
Jerry Thornton
01/21/2010 - 8:43am
It Seems Like Yesterday Boston Sports Fans Could Smile
When you’re a sports blogger and you’re aware of the fact that your target demographic is (slightly) younger than you, you think twice before you write anything that says things were better back in the day.
Jerry Thornton
01/14/2010 - 9:49am
A wish to be Bill Belichick
I was at a party over the holidays where someone raised one of those deep, existential questions that only seem to come up late at night after polishing off a couple of plastic bottles of discount store-brand scotch and a cheese ball with the size (and destructive power) of the Death Star. And that question was:


Audio On Demand

Former Patriot Matt Light…

Former Patriot Matt Light on the Pats offseason

Matt joined the program to discuss his first ever cornhole contest and to break down the Patriots offseason. He told the guys that he was upset that the Pats were unable to bring Wes Welker back to the team.

Tom Brady on the loss of Wes Welker

Tom Brady joined the program to discuss his upcoming charitable event supporting Best Buddies and his off-season. Tom said that he has learned not to worry about free agency decisions since he cant control any of them. Lastly he defended his over the top celebration at the Kentucky Derby.

It Is What It Is Cast: Examining the New England Patriots offseason

In the latest edition of the "It Is What It Is" podcast, Chris Price and CSNNE's Mike Giardi take a look at the Patriots offseason on both sides of the ball, try and get a handle on which new guys will make an impact first, and whether or not the Patriots have altered their style when it comes to drafting and developing wide receivers.

Jackie MacMullan on Doc: …

Jackie MacMullan on Doc: "He's coming back"

Jackie MacMullan joins Mut and Merloni to discuss the latest rumors surrounding Celtics head coach Doc Rivers and whether he'll be back next season with the team.

Celtics President Danny Ainge with Salk and Holley

We check in with Danny Ainge for our first talk to him since the Celtics season ended last weekend. We talk about the future of the team, KG, Pierce, Doc Rivers and more, as Danny directly answers the rumors being floated by ESPN's Stephen A. Smith.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPNBoston.com: "Gut" tells me Doc will stay

Jackie Mac joins the show to discuss the trade rumors swirling around Paul Pierce, KG, Doc Rivers and the Celtics. She also discusses the future of the Celtics head coach.

Red Sox GM Ben Cherington…

Red Sox GM Ben Cherington on Jacoby Ellsbury

Ben joined the program to discuss the return of Terry Francona and said that he always had a good relationship with the former manager. Ben added that he thinks Ellsbury is in a slump due in part to the amount of left handed pitchers the team has faced.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia postgame with Joe and Dave

Salty spoke with Joe Castiglione & Dave O'Brien after he helped his team to a 6-2 victory over the Chicago White Sox tonight. The Red Sox return to Fenway after going 6-3 on the road trip.

Red Sox Manager John Farrell with Salk and Holley

We check in with Red Sox Manager John Farrell live from Chicago and get his take on a good week for the Sox, a tough series since then in Chicago, and other team related notes.

Rangers analyst Dave Malo…

Rangers analyst Dave Maloney on game 4

Dave Maloney returned to the show to discuss his Rangers unlikely win in game 4. He said that in all his years playing and calling hockey games he had not seen a softer goal than the one Rask allowed.

Andy Brickley, NESN, on why B's match up well against Rangers

Andy Brickley joins the show to discuss what he expects to see from the Rangers tonight, why the Bruins match up well against them, and potentially closing out the series tonight

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sports: B's have instilled "fear" "concern" and "doubt" into Rangers

McGuire joins Mut and Merloni to discuss the Bruins game 3 win, the Rangers awful power play, and the Shawn Thornton Derek Dorsett altercation.

Rangers analyst Dave Malo…

Rangers analyst Dave Maloney on game 4

Dave Maloney returned to the show to discuss his Rangers unlikely win in game 4. He said that in all his years playing and calling hockey games he had not seen a softer goal than the one Rask allowed.

Andy the bee keeper on his hives

Andy from Dartmouth called in to talk Bruins but the discussion quickly got off track when he mentioned his nine bee hives.

Bruins give away game 4

The guys opened the show discussing a missed opportunity by the Bruins last night. They broke down the poor plays made by Rask and Chara.

Andy Brickley, NESN, on w…

Andy Brickley, NESN, on why B's match up well against Rangers

Andy Brickley joins the show to discuss what he expects to see from the Rangers tonight, why the Bruins match up well against them, and potentially closing out the series tonight.

M&M's Voice Activated Texts- Motor Mouth Meg in the Cape

One of the many Mut and Merloni callers, Meg in the Cape, chats with Mike and Lou about the Bruins and a whole bunch of other stuff in the span of about 2 min. Afterwards, Mut and Merloni hear some voice activated text messages from people listening in to Meg.

Jackie MacMullan on Doc: "He's coming back"

Jackie MacMullan joins Mut and Merloni to discuss the latest rumors surrounding Celtics head coach Doc Rivers and whether he'll be back next season with the team.

Tom Brady plays the good …

Tom Brady plays the good soldier role in discussing departure of Wes Welker

Tom Brady appeared with D and C this morning and talked about the team's OTA's, the comings and goings, and most importantly what went down when Wes Welker left town, and how does he feel about it?

Salk and Holley's Four at Four - 05/23/13

Four guys, four topics we haven't mentioned today. Mark Sanchez, the Pacers blow it and more.

John Tortorella's Fraud Flag is flying, plus who's your 2013 Bruins MVP?

We talk about the mystique and respect around John Tortorella, and whether or not it's warranted. Plus we discuss with you who the 2013 Bruins MVP has to be. Tuuka? Bergeron? Claude?

Daily Planet Tuesday May …

Daily Planet Tuesday May 21st

The Bruins look to take a 3-0 series lead, Jon Lester gets his first loss, Dwight Howard has options in free agency.

Daily Planet Monday May 20th

Today on the Daily Planet the Bruins have a 2-0 lead over the New york Rangers, the Red Sox are back on the winning sde of things, and the noteable birthdays of the day.

Daily Planet Thursday May 9th

The Bruins have almost finished raking the Leafs, the Red Sox struggle from the mound, Miami Heat fans show their level of class.

Salk and Holley's Miked U…

Salk and Holley's Miked Up and Answer the Question - 05/23/13

Kirk's still a jerk, but we want a SWEEP!

Salk and Holley's Miked Up and Answer the Question - 05/22/13

The Jerks are joined by another, Jerk Minihane.

Salk and Holley's Miked Up and Answer the Question - 05/21/13

They're like a ray of morning sunshine on an otherwise gloomy day.

Tom Brady on the loss of …

Tom Brady on the loss of Wes Welker

Tom Brady joined the program to discuss his upcoming charitable event supporting Best Buddies and his off-season. Tom said that he has learned not to worry about free agency decisions since he cant control any of them. Lastly he defended his over the top celebration at the Kentucky Derby.

More from this show

Linda calls in to describ…

Linda calls in to describe the scene on Dexter St in Watertown

Linda explains how the shootout transpired in Watertown during the early morning hours. She saw the first suspect mortally wounded and police beginning the manhunt for the second suspect.

More from this show

Former Red Sox manager Te…

Former Red Sox manager Terry Francona catches up with D&C

Terry Francona joins the Dennis and Callahan Show to discuss his first-place Indians team as well as his time in Boston. The former Boston manager also touches on his recent book co-authored by Dan Shaughnessy and Shaughnessy's recent dust-up with David Ortiz.

More from this show

Buster Olney, ESPN, on El…

Buster Olney, ESPN, on Ellsbury's future with Sox

Buster Olney joins Mut and Merloni to talk about the struggling Ellsbury and what that is doing to his contract value when he becomes a free agent.

More from this show

Red Sox GM Ben Cherington…

Red Sox GM Ben Cherington on Jacoby Ellsbury

Ben joined the program to discuss the return of Terry Francona and said that he always had a good relationship with the former manager. Ben added that he thinks Ellsbury is in a slump due in part to the amount of left handed pitchers the team has faced.

More from this show

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