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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
04/07/2010 - 12:06am
I waited my whole life for someone to come along, buy the Red Sox, and accomplish two things: 1) Win championships. And, 2) Clean up the decrepit, tenement slum that was Fenway Park.
Jerry Thornton
03/31/2010 - 6:52am
It’s often said that race is the third rail of politics.
Jerry Thornton
03/24/2010 - 7:21am
Last Thursday’s Bruins-Pittsburgh matchup was one of those rare moments in sports that comes along maybe once a year, if you’re lucky. And even then, only if your team is relevant.
Jerry Thornton
03/16/2010 - 7:47pm
Last week in this space, I wrote a column called “The Geeks Will Inherit the Earth.” The premise of the piece can be summed up in a few simple sentences. “Advanced baseball stats are becoming more and more prevalent. It seems like every offseason move the Sox made was based on them. Guys who believe in sabermetrics take themselves really seriously.
Jerry Thornton
03/10/2010 - 1:27am
Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m wildly, consistently and preternaturally optimistic about the Red Sox, especially this time of year.
Jerry Thornton
03/03/2010 - 12:05am
What just took place between hockey and me has probably happened to every one of us at one time or another.
Jerry Thornton
02/24/2010 - 12:13am
I would like to apologize to everyone. That’s not to say I feel like I have anything to apologize for. Nor am I under the delusion anyone cares enough about what I do or say to expect an apology. I mean what I said quite literally. I would like to apologize. To everyone. Just because I think it would be fun.
Jerry Thornton
02/17/2010 - 12:30am
I might be the only guy in Boston who’s man enough to admit this publicly, but I’m watching the Winter Olympics. And I mean hours and hours of the Winter Olympics. You know how much time your lazy 14-year-old son squanders playing “Halo 3”? That’s how much time I’m spending in front of the Olympic coverage.
Jerry Thornton
02/10/2010 - 8:02am
“It is not enough that I should succeed.  Others must fail.” — Broadway producer David Merrick
Jerry Thornton
02/03/2010 - 2:09am
Generally speaking, I’m a pretty mainstream guy. I tend to like the things the general public likes. I eat at chain restaurants. Buy clothes at outlet stores. Drive a cheap, ordinary make and model of car. Watch the shows everyone is talking about.
Jerry Thornton
01/27/2010 - 2:16am
When you think about it, we didn’t have to become sports fans. Nobody put a gun to our head and forced us. Your parents didn’t threaten to take your Atari game system away unless you finished reading the American League boxscores or told you you couldn’t start your homework until you were all finished filling out your NFL betting card.
Jerry Thornton
01/21/2010 - 8:43am
When you’re a sports blogger and you’re aware of the fact that your target demographic is (slightly) younger than you, you think twice before you write anything that says things were better back in the day.
Jerry Thornton
01/14/2010 - 9:49am
I was at a party over the holidays where someone raised one of those deep, existential questions that only seem to come up late at night after polishing off a couple of plastic bottles of discount store-brand scotch and a cheese ball with the size (and destructive power) of the Death Star. And that question was:


Audio On Demand

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It Is What It Is Cast: Logan Mankins, the offensive line, and Brandon Spikes' guarantee

WEEI.com's Mike Petraglia and Christopher Price discuss Logan Mankins' breakdown of the offensive line and how it will look without Dante Scarnecchia. They also discussed Mankins' rebuttal to Brandon Spikes.

It Is What It Is Cast: Bill Parcells and Patriots Hall of Fame

WEEI.com's Mike Petraglia and Chris Price discuss Bill Parcells' Patriots Hall of Fame candidacy.

CSNNE's Tom E. Curran Reports From NFL Owners Meetings

Tom Curran calls the show to discuss the Vince Wilfork contract situation. After texting with Vince this morning, Curran says that Vince's camp is possibly trying to put the "genie back in the lamp" and that the possibility of the Pro Bowl DT returning to the team has improved.

Celtics President Danny A…

Celtics President Danny Ainge with Dale and Holley 4-17-14

We wrap up the Celtics season by speaking with Celtics president Danny Ainge about this past season and the team's future.

Wyc Grousbeck, Celtics Owner: Reflects on the Boston Marathon tragedy 4-15-4

Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck joins Mut and Merloni to discuss and reflect on the Boston Marathon Bombings a year later.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston, on the Celtics, 4-10-14

Jackie MacMullan talks some Celtics with Mut and Merloni as the season is winding down and the team is positioned to have a high draft pick.

Shabazz Napier joins Joe …

Shabazz Napier joins Joe and Dave as the UConn Huskies are honored at Fenway Park

UConn Point Guard, Shabazz Napier joined the guys for a half inning and talked about his experiences in college, his reasoning behind completing his education, and growing up in Boston.

Jonny Gomes with Joe Castiglione & Rob Bradford after the crazy win at Fenway

Joe & Rob talked to Jonny Gomes after the dramatic run-off win at Fenway over the Orioles.

Joe and Dave postgame with David Ross 04-17-14

Dave O'Brien and Joe Castiglione talk with Red Sox catcher, David Ross, who had the go-ahead RBI tonight as the Red Sox beat the White Sox behind a brilliant pitching performance from Jon Lester.

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sport…

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sports, Bruins- Red Wings 4-22-14

Pierre McGuire of NBC Sports joins the program to talk about Game 3 between the Bruins and the Red Wings. He also discusses the issue of targeting player and weighs in on Matt Cooke's vicious knee hit to Tyson Barrie.

Dale and Holley with Patrice Bergeron live from Detroit

Dale and Michael speak with Patrice Bergeron on the phone from Detroit on Marathon Monday fresh off a Bruins optional skate. Patrice talks about the B's slow start in game one, putting it all together for the team in game two, how the rest of this series might play out, and what this anniversary of the Boston Marathon means to him.

Bruins' Enforcer Shawn Thornton Talk with D&C After Game 2 4-21-14

Thornton joins Dino and Gerry to recap Games 1 and 2, discuss Brendan Smith challenging Chara, and preview Game 3 in Detroit.

Boston Marathon director …

Boston Marathon director Dave McGillivray 4-22-14

Dave called in to discuss the epic Boston Marathon.

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: David Gregory is tanking 4-22-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane. Today the guys discussed David Gregory's tanking Meet The Press ratings.

A great Marathon Monday 4-22-14

The guys opened the show by discussing yesterday's Boston Marathon and Kirk's run.

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sport…

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sports, Bruins- Red Wings 4-22-14

Pierre McGuire of NBC Sports joins the program to talk about Game 3 between the Bruins and the Red Wings. He also discusses the issue of targeting player and weighs in on Matt Cooke's vicious knee hit to Tyson Barrie.

Daily Diamond: Pittsburgh and Milwaukee clear benches in big brawl, April 22, 2014

Mut and Merloni discuss the latest brawl between the Milwaukee Brewers and the Pittsburgh Pirates

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sports, Previews Bruins-Red Wings 4-18-14

Pierre McGuire of NBC Sports joins the program to talk about the creativity of Red Wings coach Mike Babcock as well as the potential for physical play in the series.

Does anyone really miss J…

Does anyone really miss Jacoby Ellsbury in a Red Sox uniform 4-22-14

We discuss the return of Jacoby Ellsbury to Fenway Park, including why he left Boston, and what the crowd reaction will be for him.

DJ Bean live from Detroit previews Round One Games 3 and 4. 4-22-14

We check in with Mr. Bean live from the D to preview two games of Bruins-Wings action.

What's wrong with the 2014 version of Clay Buchholz? 4-22-14

We discuss the harsh start by Clay Buchholz, and how the turnaround from last season's start has been disturbing to watch if you're a Sox fan/

Rick Middleton joins Plan…

Rick Middleton joins Planet Mikey

Nifty jumps on the Planet for an hour.

Red Sox lose to the Orioles 2-1 on Opening Day

Lou Merloni did play-by-play with Joe Castiglione today and then joined The Planet Mikey Show to talk about what went wrong, and a few things that went right as the Red Sox started their campaign to defend their World Series title.

Chris Price joins John Ryder to talk the Patriots' newest acquisition

WEEI.com's Chris Price joins John Ryder and Chris Villani on Planet Mikey to discuss the signing of Revis Island

Fantasy Football Off-Seas…

Fantasy Football Off-Season Podcast 4

The 4th addition of WEEI’s Fantasy Football Offseason Podcast is loaded and ready. In this week’s conversation Jim Hackett and Pete Davidson of Rotobahn.com dig into the sinking draft stock of Teddy Bridgewater (much too their chagrin), while refocusing and emphasizing the immense scouting work done by Pete on players like Bridgewater, Zach Mettenberger, Blake Bortles, Bishop Sankey & Lache Seastrunk. Also, Jim & Pete touch on news from around the league regarding new Jet, Chris Johnson, Montee Ball in Denver and help you tune out all of the negative noise some in the media are trying to push. We’re not buying! Lots of Football love in this podcast for the Football lover. Enjoy!

Pod Man Rush: DJ Bean and Greg Wyshynski on Bruins-Red Wings

Greg Wyshynski of Yahoo! Sports joins DJ to break down the first-round matchup between the Bruins and Red Wings. Also discussed is Zdeno Chara's Norris candidacy, transparency with voting for the NHL awards and whether the Canadiens will get out of the first round.

Minor Details Ep. 79: The meaning of winning in the minors with Carlos Febles, Evan Lepler

The Red Sox' High-A minor league team in Salem recently had a 16-game winning streak that spanned two seasons. So what? From the standpoint of making prospects better and fostering player development, does that matter? Salem manager Carlos Febles (who managed Salem for the end of their winning streak, but who was also in charge of a 50-87 Single-A Greenville team in 2013) and Salem radio play-by-play man Evan Lepler discuss -- while also touching on a number of prospects in search of the next Earl Weaver and Vinegar Bend Mizell.

Chris Forsberg, ESPN Bost…

Chris Forsberg, ESPN Boston, joins Chris Villani on Easter to talk Celtics

With the season over, Chris Forsberg says the Celtics accomplished what they intended to this year. He also gets into what Rajon Rondo may be thinking heading into his last year in his contract. Danny Ainge has a plan and it'll be interesting to see how this off-season develops.

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Boston Marathon director Dave McGillivray 4-22-14

Dave called in to discuss the epic Boston Marathon.

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Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: David Gregory is tanking 4-22-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane. Today the guys discussed David Gregory's tanking Meet The Press ratings.

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Reflections on Marathon M…

Reflections on Marathon Monday and recapping the race with WEEI's Kirk Minihane

Dale and Michael talk about what Marathon Monday means for them, the tremendous amount of people and positivity today in the Back Bay, and then Kirk Minihane, fresh off 26.2 miles stops by to recap a great experience in today's marathon.

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Patrice Bergeron with Dal…

Patrice Bergeron with Dale & Holley: Expect it to be tight-fought, back and forth all series with the Red Wings

Dale and Michael speak with Patrice Bergeron on the phone from Detroit on Marathon Monday fresh off a Bruins optional skate. Patrice talks about the B's slow start in game one, putting it all together for the team in game two, how the rest of this series might play out, and what this anniversary of the Boston Marathon means to him.

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