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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton appears daily as the third man in on The Dale & Holley Show and is the author of the Thornography blog on WEEI.com. In addition, Jerry is a standup comic who won the Boston Comedy Riot competition and has worked colleges and clubs all around New England. He has appeared on HBO's Emmy Award-winning "Curse of the Bambino" and Comcast Sports New England and has written for ColdHardFootballFacts.com. Prior to coming to WEEI full-time, Jerry was a writer for BarstoolSports.com.

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
12/01/2014 - 10:54am
Things to consider while realizing if Kim Kardashian's bare ass broke the Internet, the sight of Gronk's would have destroyed it:
Jerry Thornton
11/24/2014 - 9:03am
Things to consider while admitting that these salutes to the troops, missing-man formation flyovers and the U.S. Marine color guard are a form of video pepper spray every, single time:
Jerry Thornton
11/17/2014 - 1:57pm
Things to consider as I take Knee-Jerk Reactions to WEEI.com. Same grammatical mistakes. Same wildly misinformed football analysis. All-new location!
Jerry Thornton
02/01/2012 - 2:40am
Four years ago this week leading up to the Super Bowl That Shall Not Be Named, I published an article in the paper edition of Barstool Sports about how I hate the New York Giants, why I hate the
Jerry Thornton
01/18/2012 - 1:23am
“A mind that is anxious about the future is miserable.” -- Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger “Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but in a positive way.” -- Wedding Crashers Rule No. 6
Jerry Thornton
01/04/2012 - 1:36am
It turns out reports of the death of the Patriots Way were greatly exaggerated.
Jerry Thornton
12/21/2011 - 10:35am
One man’s annual countdown of the biggest miscreants, jerks, psychos, losers, mental defectives, morons, habitual criminal offenders, dirtbags and nitwits of the year: 10. The Miami Heat
Jerry Thornton
12/07/2011 - 1:11am
You know, you’d think that with us not being all that far removed from the days when Boston was “Loserville,” we’d all just be able to appreciate winning just for its own sake. That we wouldn’t worry about the manner in which we won or style points or any of that nonsense. That only the scoreboard would matter.
Jerry Thornton
11/23/2011 - 2:32am
It’s gone without saying all season that the Patriots pass defense hasn’t been very good. In fact since they came out of the gate, the Pats have been called the consensus worst defense in the NFL --  32nd in the league against the pass, 32nd in the league overall. 
Jerry Thornton
11/09/2011 - 1:26am
Despite the fact that I’m an unapologetic Patriots homer, I have to confess that like most people, I, too, am starting to have serious concerns about where this team is headed.
Jerry Thornton
10/25/2011 - 10:52pm
“Lost in the cacophony of the last few weeks is the fact that the Boston Red Sox remain one of the preeminent organizations in baseball, with an extremely bright future.
Jerry Thornton
10/14/2011 - 1:08pm
I've always considered there to be seven categories of pro sports athletic achievement. In ascending order of accomplishment: -- All-Star/Pro Bowler -- First Team All-Star/All-Pro -- League MVP -- Team Hall/Wall/Ring of Fame -- Hall of Famer -- Number Retired -- Statue Worthy
Jerry Thornton
09/28/2011 - 12:18am
The month of September has been one of the worst in recent memories for the Boston sports fan. The Red Sox are on the verge of what might end up being the worst late-season implosion in baseball history. The Patriots blew a 21-0 lead in Buffalo.
Jerry Thornton
09/14/2011 - 8:36pm
Shameless Patriots fanboy that I am, I have a Pats postgame routine that I follow. When they win a game, particularly when they win big the way they did Monday night in Miami, I stick around afterward and watch as much of the wrap-up and analysis as I possibly can.
Jerry Thornton
09/02/2011 - 10:50am
Let's start with a quiz. The category is Boston sports and the media.
Jerry Thornton
08/18/2011 - 12:23am
When it comes to women, every guy has a “type.” Greater minds than mine — from Aristotle to DaVinci to Hugh Hefner — have pondered the question “What is beauty?” and not come up with an objective answer. But there’s no question that different guys go for different things. I go for Kate Beckinsale. You like Kate Bosworth.
Jerry Thornton
08/04/2011 - 10:44pm
New Patriots defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth is one of those players you could describe by saying (spins the cliché wheel): “His troubles are well documented.” At least I can say it because I spend a good chunk of time last year documenting them. Well, I hope.
Jerry Thornton
07/20/2011 - 12:55am
Confession time. I’m sure those of you who’ve read my column before, heard me on WEEI and watched the Fanthropology videos I’ve done for this site just naturally assume I’m about the most suave, sophisticated guy in Boston.
Jerry Thornton
07/06/2011 - 9:31am
Let's be honest: Sportswise, this isn't shaping up to be the best summer ever. Maybe it's just the post-Stanley Cup hangover talking. Moving past the hockey season is proving to be one of those half-a-bottle-of-Bayer-plus-some-hair-of-the-dog brain killer.
Jerry Thornton
06/29/2011 - 11:00am
Without a doubt, “tradition” is one of the most grossly overused words in the English language. We use it to describe everything from the changing of the guards at the Tomb of the Unknowns to the mayor of Punxsutawny pulling a giant rat out of the ground every February 2nd.
Jerry Thornton
06/22/2011 - 12:28am
“Boston loves a winner. And will not tolerate a loser. Bostonians play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed ... because the very thought of losing is hateful to Massholes.” --Patton (edited somewhat by me)
Jerry Thornton
06/07/2011 - 11:57pm
That peculiar sound you’ve been hearing the last month-and-a-half or so has been the anguished sound of a generation of Boston sports media having to re-acquaint themselves with how to pay attention to the Bruins. It’s been a great disturbance in the Force. As if dozens of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced into writing Bruins game reports.
Jerry Thornton
05/25/2011 - 8:54am
Like I’ve admitted here before, I’m new to this business of being all wrapped up in the Bruins. Or to put it more accurately, I’m one of the hundreds of thousands of Bostonians who followed the Bruins closely but eventually jumped ship.
Jerry Thornton
05/11/2011 - 12:33am
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the seminar. I’m handing out the information packet we’ll be using, so if you could just take one and pass the rest to person behind you, we can get started.
Jerry Thornton
04/27/2011 - 5:43am
Somehow, you just knew from the puck drop in Game 1 that “Bruins-Canadiens Part XXXIII: This Time, It's Personal” was going to come down to a Game 7. And while I have every hope and faith it's going to go well Wednesday night and the Bruins will move on, it's still worth pointing out that I'd rather be us than them.


Audio On Demand

It Is What It Is Cast: Pa…

It Is What It Is Cast: Patriots rookies get their first taste of the NFL

WEEI.com's Mike Petraglia and Chris Price discuss the start of Patriots OTAs and the rookies' first taste of the NFL.

Patriots Hall of Famer Willie McGinest with Dale and Holley

We talk to the newest inductee to the Patriots Hall of Fame, linebacker Willie McGinest.

NFL SUNDAY with Dickerson and Price - Football after Deflategate ... it does exist 5-24-15

Price tells Greg about what is in store for football fans and Patriots fans beyond Deflategate. We will, after all, move on at some point.

Dickerson and Tomase disc…

Dickerson and Tomase discuss the Celtics and their upcoming playoff series against the Cavs 4-19-15

Greg Dickerson and John Tomase discuss the amazing season for the Celts and if they have any chance against Lebron and the Cleveland Cavs in a seven game series. If they do, HOW ... how do they get it done?

Brian Scalabrine: I am the biggest Marcus Smart fan. 4-2-15

Brian "White Mamba" Scalabrine joins the guys to talk about the Celtics playoff push, the development of Marcus Smart and James Young, and the prospect of Brad Stevens leaving the Celtics for a college job.

We Love Anthony Davis - Celtics Playoff Push, 3-25-15

Brow Buff's Sam Packard and Ben Kichen break down Marcus Smart's unfortunate ball tap, debate leadership in the Celtics locker room, and rehash the great Kevin Love to Boston rumors.

John Farrell with Dale an…

John Farrell with Dale and Holley

Dale, Michael and Jerry Thornton check in with Sox Skipper John Farrell for his weekly chat. John breaks some news about David Ortiz with us.

Dallas Braden, every pitcher doctors the baseball. 5-28-15

Former teammate of Lou Merloni and current ESPN analyst Dallas Braden joins the guys to talk about doctoring the ball, cheating in baseball, and the struggling Red Sox.

Wade Miley Player of the Game Interview 5-24-15

Joe Castiglione talked to the Sox lefty, who allowed one run in eight innings as the Sox beat the Angels at Fenway.

Bruins GM Don Sweeney wit…

Bruins GM Don Sweeney with Dale and Holley

Don Sweeney, who was hired as the Bruins general manager yesterday speaks with Dale and Holley about his new position and where the Bruins go from here.

Fluto Shinzawa, NHL reporter for the Boston Globe, joins the Sunday Skate crew to discuss the future of the Bruins franchise 4-19-15

The awesomely knowledgeable Fluto Shinzawa calls DJ, Naoko and Pete to talk about his thoughts on the future of the B's. He discusses his column from earlier this week on Cam Neely wanting to give Claude the ax earlier in the season but not getting the ok. Fluto shares his thoughts on Chiarelli's firing, the future for Claude and where the Bruins should go from here. He also gives his opinion on potential moves the team can make, who would fit in here, his thoughts on the NHL playoffs so far and more.

Sunday Skate with DJ Bean, Naoko Funayama and Pete Blackburn - HOUR #2 - 4-19-15

In the final hour of the "midseason finale" as DJ likes to call it, the crew discuss more about the future of the Bruins franchise, the possible power struggle in the front office and who should be the head coach going forward. They talk to intelligent and talented Fluto Shinzawa about all of these thing and more in an excellent interview, and finally, DJ says THANK YOU!

Boston Mayor Marty Walsh …

Boston Mayor Marty Walsh on Boston 2024 5-28-15

The guys discussed Boston 2024 with the Mayor of Boston.

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines:Lena Dunham 5-28-15

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

Red Sox are awful 5-28-15

The guys discussed the Red Sox struggles.

Dallas Braden, every pitc…

Dallas Braden, every pitcher doctors the baseball. 5-28-15

Former teammate of Lou Merloni and current ESPN analyst Dallas Braden joins the guys to talk about doctoring the ball, cheating in baseball, and the struggling Red Sox.

Three For All - Christian's Sexy Panties. 5-28-15

In the Three For All, the guys talk about a $6000 Cat Apartment, the Houston Texans on Hard Knocks, and a recent study that says women are wearing less thongs. During the final topic, we get the privilege of hearing about Christian's "special" panties.

Who is to blame for Red Sox struggles? 5-28-15

With a quarter of the baseball season in the books, the guys discuss five important questions surrounding the team.

Let the hate flow through…

Let the hate flow through you: column brings up reasons why the rest of USA HATES the Patriots

Dale, Michael and Jerry Thornton discuss Chris Gasper's column about the national hatred towards the Patriots, and why it isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

David Ortiz to sit out awhile for the Red Sox: Response and Reaction

Dale, Michael and Jerry discuss the news that John Farrell broke with us that David Ortiz will sit for a few days for 'retooling' a few things. We react and take your phone calls.

Dale and Holley's Final Drive - 05-28-15

We wrap up the show with the best sound of the day that you may have missed.

Why are the Patriots hate…

Why are the Patriots hated? The Belichick Factor

Mikey Adams and Chris Villani discuss Boston Globe columnist Christopher Gasper's piece analyzing why the New England Patriots are hated outside of New England. Beyond just because they win, Villani believes Belichick is the key to sparking rage.

Planet Mikey Show - Red Sox Blame Pie. Largest Piece?

Mikey Adams and Chris Villani discuss the disappointing 21-26 start of the Boston Red Sox and who is most to blame. Also, caller Steve from Fall River sets Villani off with his DeflateGate take.

Pump It Up- Mikey Adams Song

The definitive deflate gate song

It Is What It Is Cast - M…

It Is What It Is Cast - Malcolm Brown and Tom Brady

On this edition of the It Is What It Is Cast Chris Price and Mike Petraglia talk about Malcolm Brown at Gillette and the latest news surrounding Tom Brady.

SoccerCast - FIFA Explodes

US Prosecutors arrest multiple members of FIFA. Ben, Russ, and Alex dissect what this means for the beautiful game.

We Love Anthony Davis - Conference Finals Edition

Julian Edlow of the Green Street Blog and Draftkings.com joins the program to break down the the two conference finals series, the NBA Draft, and whether or not Corey Brewer is the ugliest player in the game?

Dave Portnoy of Barstool …

Rob Parker says Tom Brady…

Rob Parker writes an open…

Rob Parker writes an open letter to Tom Brady, 5-27-15

Rob Parker, of FanBuzz.com (formerly ESPN) wrote an open-letter to Tom Brady asking him to admit guilt, to apologize to Jim McNally and John Jastremski, and finally to ask for forgiveness from NFL fans. Parker joined the morning show to discuss his opinions. Lou, Christian and Tim broke down some of those comments.

More from this show

Jeremy Schaap on the corr…

Jeremy Schaap on the corruption in FIFA 5-27-15

The guys spoke with Jeremy Schaap on FIFA's latest scandal.

More from this show

Ray McDonald released by …

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