Columnists
RSS Feed  RSS
Weei » Columnists » Jerry Thornton » Jerry Thornton Archive
About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is now a member of the Dale & Holley Show. Jerry previously wrote for BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton," but now is a contributor to WEEI.com. 

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
04/05/2011 - 10:24pm
This is without a doubt my favorite four-week stretch of the year.
Jerry Thornton
03/30/2011 - 12:12am
“I’d like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay payroll.
Jerry Thornton
03/22/2011 - 10:55pm
I, for one, am ecstatic that Bruins season is finally about to start.
Jerry Thornton
03/15/2011 - 10:49pm
As we walk through this veil of tears we call life, it’s rare that you ever get to witness perfection. Or anything close to it. Man is an imperfect creature, so it follows that anything designed by the mind of man or built by his hand will be flawed in some way. Even a Persian rug maker will put one crooked stitch in his work because only Allah is perfect.
Jerry Thornton
03/09/2011 - 1:11am
As sad as this is to admit, for the better part of a week I’ve been riveted to what’s been going on with the NFL labor talks. I’ve been one of those devout followers, waiting patiently outside (via television of course) for any sign of progress, like the basic cable equivalent of a pilgrim in Rome looking for white smoke coming out of the Vatican chimney.
Jerry Thornton
03/02/2011 - 12:20am
A week ago, when it was announced the Celtics had traded Kendrick Perkins, reactions varied from “stunned and dismayed” to “shocked but pleased.” I mean, everyone was in agreement they didn&rsqu
Jerry Thornton
02/22/2011 - 11:17pm
One thing members of this Red Sox management team are fond of saying — besides “ticket prices will increase” — is that every team comes into every season with an entirely different makeup, an entirely different group dynamic.
Jerry Thornton
02/20/2011 - 11:51am
Like everyone else I know, I've hit the vast cultural wasteland between the end of the Super Bowl and the start of March Madness full of despair. I mean, at this point in the calendar every winter goes from lousy to sucks.
Jerry Thornton
02/19/2011 - 12:19pm
For all its pockets of effete, blueblooded-snobbery, high tech yuppiness and Ivy League elitism, Boston is still a blue-collar town to the core, especially when it comes to pro sports. For every cardigan-sweatered intellectual with a Kindle full of 'George F.
Jerry Thornton
02/01/2011 - 11:49pm
The Super Bowl is more than just a game. And it’s more than America’s great, secular, national holiday. The Super Bowl IS America. It’s big. It’s loud. It’s overblown. It’s preposterous.
Jerry Thornton
01/26/2011 - 12:57am
This past weekend in his Sunday Globe column, Dan Shaughnessy suggested all Patriots fans should join him in rooting for the Jets to win the Super Bowl.
Jerry Thornton
01/18/2011 - 11:21pm
I know that if lived in some other city, one where they hate Boston teams and Boston fans — which is to say, every other sports town in America — I know what I’d be doing this week. In the wake of the Patriots’ epic failure. I’d be perusing sites like this one.
Jerry Thornton
01/12/2011 - 1:01am
  If I can start out here with a bit of shameless self-promotion. Some time ago the bosses at WEEI.com asked me if I’d be interested in doing some video for them. The general idea was a man-in-the-street type of thing, interviewing fans at various sporting events. Sort of like Jay Leno’s "Jaywalking" segment, except hopefully entertaining.
Jerry Thornton
01/05/2011 - 1:14am
It’s been said countless times that a football team is a reflection of its coach. And the true genius of your New England Patriots during the reign of Belichick the Conqueror has been the ability to turn lousy opponents into great ones.
Jerry Thornton
12/28/2010 - 11:54pm
Even the most casual student of history knows that some years are more significant than others.That some years stand out. You could’ve spent every history class of your life drawing pirate faces on all the presidents and making folded-paper fortune tellers and still absorbed enough general info to associate certain years with certain major historic events.
Jerry Thornton
12/22/2010 - 12:00am
I have a platonic female friend who has everything a woman could ask for: good looks, her health, nice career, great husband, a new baby who’s so cute that looking directly at her could cause temporary blindness. She’s got everything she could want with the exception of me, since I only have eyes for my own Sweet Irish Rose.
Jerry Thornton
12/14/2010 - 11:14pm
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m a Christmas person. I’m one of those saps who gets all doe-eyed and misty at holiday time. I believe with all my heart the holidays are the time to count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. And for those of who love sports and are lucky enough to live in Boston, our blessings this year are many.
Jerry Thornton
12/07/2010 - 9:05pm
"Is it better to be loved or feared? That’s a good question. It’s great to be both, but it’s very difficult. But if I had my choice, I would rather be feared. Fear lasts longer than love." — Sonny, "A Bronx Tale" "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta." — Geto Boys
Jerry Thornton
12/01/2010 - 12:50am
It’s not often that Jets fans and shameless, unrepentant, Patriots jammies-wearing suckups like myself have ever agreed on anything. But if there’s one thing we can all sign onto, it’s the hugeness of this week’s game.
Jerry Thornton
11/24/2010 - 1:05am
There can be no doubt that Thanksgiving in the greatest holiday ever invented. There’s minimal shopping involved, no gifts, no wrapping or running around. It consists of nothing but football, drinking, eating to excess, more football and leftovers. Minus a half-dozen lingerie models, it really is the perfect day.
Jerry Thornton
11/17/2010 - 8:38pm
Generally speaking, I consider myself to be a guy with fairly middle-of-the-road, mainstream tastes. The stuff I like tends to be widely popular and the stuff I don’t usually isn’t. I don’t know if that makes me a follower or what, but I do know that typically I’m like a one-man focus group when it comes to gauging what the American public likes.
Jerry Thornton
11/10/2010 - 3:07pm
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I love the Patriots like I love my country: In a completely biased, irrational, jingoistic, my-football-team-right-or-wrong, star-spangled championship banner-waving, “Foxboro: Love It or Leave It” bumper-sticker kind of way.
Jerry Thornton
11/02/2010 - 9:56pm
“Revenge is a dish best served cold”- Old Klingon Proverb (quoted in “Kill Bill, Vol. I)
Jerry Thornton
10/27/2010 - 10:12pm
Dear Brett Favre, Please play against the Patriots this Sunday.  
Jerry Thornton
10/19/2010 - 11:04pm
It just wouldn’t be the NFL season without a raging firestorm of controversy.


Audio On Demand

Patriots Safety Devin McC…

Patriots Safety Devin McCourty previews the Packers, 11-28-14

Devin McCourty joined the show to talk about Aaron Rodgers being the best quarterback they've prepared for, and what he appreciates most about working alongside Darrelle Revis.

"The Price is Right" with WEEI.com's Chris Price, 11-26-14

We find out what Chris Price was right and wrong about when he made a few predictions before the Lions game. Also, we hear some new ones regarding Sunday's game against the Green Bay Packers.

It Is What It Is Cast: What Patriots need to do to leave Lambeau with win

WEEI.com's Mike Petraglia and Chris Price preview Sunday's Patriots-Packers game, one that many are calling a possible Super Bowl preview.

We Hate Dwayne Wade - Mar…

We Hate Dwayne Wade - Marcus Smart injury 11-12-14

How have the Celtics looked after a couple weeks? Could they be a playoff team? These questions and more...

WHDW - Greg Dickerson Joins the Show to talk Celtics

Sam and Ben talk with Greg Dickerson about how fun this year's Celtics team is to watch as well Jeff Green trade ideas.

Kyle Draper, Comcast Sports New England, Celtics will compete for a playoff spot this season

Kyle Draper joins Danny Picard to talk about the Celtics chances this season in the Eastern Conference, last Wednesday's home opener blowout against the Nets, and Rajon Rondo's future in Boston

Pablo Sandoval, newest Re…

Pablo Sandoval, newest Red Sox third baseman, talks about landing in Boston, 11-25-14

The Red Sox trotted out their newest FA acquisition Tuesday afternoon, third baseman, Pablo Sandoval. The Kung Fu Panda then joined MFB to talk about his conversations with (former) Giant teammate, Jake Peavy, about playing Boston. He also stressed that this move was the next big challenge in his life, and addressed some concerns about his defense, stating that he is focused on being at the hot corner for the duration of his contract.

Buster Olney on MFB: "Sandoval decided, apparently, with two equal offers he wanted to go to Boston," 11-24-14

Buster Olney of ESPN joined MFB to talk about all the free agent news surrounding the Red Sox over the past 24 hours

Brian MacPherson, Providence Journal

Red Sox beat writer Brian MacPherson joins Danny Picard to talk about the Red Sox going after Jon Lester and other free agents.

Andy Brickley, NESN, talk…

Andy Brickley, NESN, talks about the Bruins struggling offense, 11-26-14

Andy Brickley joined the show to talk about David Pastrnak's first game, the offensive struggles, and Milan Lucic playing with the Swedes.

NESN's Jack Edwards with Dale and Holley

Dale and Michael get Jack Edwards' 'state of the B' report and talk about the win over the Blues at the Garden on Tuesday.

Andy Brickley, NESN, talks about the Bruins 2-0 win over St. Louis, 11-19-14

Andy Brickley joined the show and touched on last night's convincing win over a good team, Matt Bartkowski needing a wake up call, and the NHL review process.

Mike Reiss, ESPN Boston, …

Mike Reiss, ESPN Boston, talks Patriots vs. Packers, 11-28-14

Special Teamer Don Jones was waived in a surprising move, Chandler Jones practiced and the Patriots gear up for what could be their most difficult battle left in Green Bay.

Chris Forsberg, ESPN Boston, "This young core has to learn how to win,"11-28-14

Celtics columnist, Chris Forsberg, joined Butch and Gordon Edes to talk about the young core of players, Brad Stevens' need to win, and the tough November schedule that the Celtics struggled through.

The worst Lou Holtz impersonation of all time

BC football sideline reporter Scott Mutryn with the worst impersonation of all time.

Adam Schefter, ESPN - It'…

Adam Schefter, ESPN - It's more important how you finish, 11-28-14

Adam Schefter joined the show as he does every Friday to talk about the hot streak that the Patriots are on, Brady vs. Rodgers, and the problems going on in San Francisco.

Patriots Safety Devin McCourty previews the Packers, 11-28-14

Devin McCourty joined the show to talk about Aaron Rodgers being the best quarterback they've prepared for, and what he appreciates most about working alongside Darrelle Revis.

"The Price is Right" with WEEI.com's Chris Price, 11-26-14

We find out what Chris Price was right and wrong about when he made a few predictions before the Lions game. Also, we hear some new ones regarding Sunday's game against the Green Bay Packers.

Peter King: Pats in drive…

Peter King: Pats in driver's seat for home field in the AFC

We get our weekly NFL update with SI/MMQB's Peter King. Peter talks AFC East, first round byes, Jonas Gray/LeGarrette Blount and much more.

Dale and Holley's Four at Four - MLB Hall of Fame Ballot Edition - 11-25-14

Dale and Michael give their four selections for the MLB Hall of Fame... this year's finalists were announced today.

Scrimmage scuffle: testiness at Bruins practice might have been overblown (with DJ Bean!)

Dale and Michael talk Bruins and discuss the supposed practice scuffle between Tuukka Rask and Soderberg, and DJ Bean dials us up to give his thoughts.

Freakin' Out - Mikey Song

Freakin' Out - Mikey Song

Mikey remixes Billy Joel "Movin Out" in honor of the Patriots playing the Green Bay Packers

Brandon Alisoglu gives us an analysis of the Lions

Brandon covers the NFL, particularly the Detroit Lions for Bleacher Report. He gives us his thoughts on this Sunday's game and how the Lions stack up against the Patriots.

Cold, Hard Football Talk

Mikey, Villani, Lenny and Kerry Byrne are talking Patriots-Lions and how the team this year stacks up to Patriots teams of the past.

We Hate Dwyane Wade with …

We Hate Dwyane Wade with Chris Villani

D&C Breaking Balls: Media tweet beefs on evolution 11-24-14

The guys previewed the upcoming Packers Patriots game and discussed the media's latest tweet beef.

UnSportsManLike Podcast - 30 for 30 Ideas 11-21-14

Jerry Thornton's first podcast explores sports stories that would make for interesting 30 for 30 documentaries.

Ben Cherington on the Sox…

Ben Cherington on the Sox off-season moves 11-26-14

Ben Cherington joined us to discuss the Sox off-season moves.

More from this show

Headlines, Headlines, Hea…

Peter King: Pats in drive…

Peter King: Pats in driver's seat for home field in the AFC

We get our weekly NFL update with SI/MMQB's Peter King. Peter talks AFC East, first round byes, Jonas Gray/LeGarrette Blount and much more.

More from this show

John Dennis likes the Pac…

PETA's Ashley Byrne on a …

PETA's Ashley Byrne on a Vegan Thanksgiving 11-26-14

Ashley Byrne of PETA joined the show on the proper way to celebrate Thanksgiving.

More from this show

Weei Writers