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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is now a member of the Dale & Holley Show. Jerry previously wrote for BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton," but now is a contributor to WEEI.com. 

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
03/30/2011 - 12:12am
“I’d like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay payroll.
Jerry Thornton
03/22/2011 - 10:55pm
I, for one, am ecstatic that Bruins season is finally about to start.
Jerry Thornton
03/15/2011 - 10:49pm
As we walk through this veil of tears we call life, it’s rare that you ever get to witness perfection. Or anything close to it. Man is an imperfect creature, so it follows that anything designed by the mind of man or built by his hand will be flawed in some way. Even a Persian rug maker will put one crooked stitch in his work because only Allah is perfect.
Jerry Thornton
03/09/2011 - 1:11am
As sad as this is to admit, for the better part of a week I’ve been riveted to what’s been going on with the NFL labor talks. I’ve been one of those devout followers, waiting patiently outside (via television of course) for any sign of progress, like the basic cable equivalent of a pilgrim in Rome looking for white smoke coming out of the Vatican chimney.
Jerry Thornton
03/02/2011 - 12:20am
A week ago, when it was announced the Celtics had traded Kendrick Perkins, reactions varied from “stunned and dismayed” to “shocked but pleased.” I mean, everyone was in agreement they didn&rsqu
Jerry Thornton
02/22/2011 - 11:17pm
One thing members of this Red Sox management team are fond of saying — besides “ticket prices will increase” — is that every team comes into every season with an entirely different makeup, an entirely different group dynamic.
Jerry Thornton
02/20/2011 - 11:51am
Like everyone else I know, I've hit the vast cultural wasteland between the end of the Super Bowl and the start of March Madness full of despair. I mean, at this point in the calendar every winter goes from lousy to sucks.
Jerry Thornton
02/19/2011 - 12:19pm
For all its pockets of effete, blueblooded-snobbery, high tech yuppiness and Ivy League elitism, Boston is still a blue-collar town to the core, especially when it comes to pro sports. For every cardigan-sweatered intellectual with a Kindle full of 'George F.
Jerry Thornton
02/01/2011 - 11:49pm
The Super Bowl is more than just a game. And it’s more than America’s great, secular, national holiday. The Super Bowl IS America. It’s big. It’s loud. It’s overblown. It’s preposterous.
Jerry Thornton
01/26/2011 - 12:57am
This past weekend in his Sunday Globe column, Dan Shaughnessy suggested all Patriots fans should join him in rooting for the Jets to win the Super Bowl.
Jerry Thornton
01/18/2011 - 11:21pm
I know that if lived in some other city, one where they hate Boston teams and Boston fans — which is to say, every other sports town in America — I know what I’d be doing this week. In the wake of the Patriots’ epic failure. I’d be perusing sites like this one.
Jerry Thornton
01/12/2011 - 1:01am
  If I can start out here with a bit of shameless self-promotion. Some time ago the bosses at WEEI.com asked me if I’d be interested in doing some video for them. The general idea was a man-in-the-street type of thing, interviewing fans at various sporting events. Sort of like Jay Leno’s "Jaywalking" segment, except hopefully entertaining.
Jerry Thornton
01/05/2011 - 1:14am
It’s been said countless times that a football team is a reflection of its coach. And the true genius of your New England Patriots during the reign of Belichick the Conqueror has been the ability to turn lousy opponents into great ones.
Jerry Thornton
12/28/2010 - 11:54pm
Even the most casual student of history knows that some years are more significant than others.That some years stand out. You could’ve spent every history class of your life drawing pirate faces on all the presidents and making folded-paper fortune tellers and still absorbed enough general info to associate certain years with certain major historic events.
Jerry Thornton
12/22/2010 - 12:00am
I have a platonic female friend who has everything a woman could ask for: good looks, her health, nice career, great husband, a new baby who’s so cute that looking directly at her could cause temporary blindness. She’s got everything she could want with the exception of me, since I only have eyes for my own Sweet Irish Rose.
Jerry Thornton
12/14/2010 - 11:14pm
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m a Christmas person. I’m one of those saps who gets all doe-eyed and misty at holiday time. I believe with all my heart the holidays are the time to count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. And for those of who love sports and are lucky enough to live in Boston, our blessings this year are many.
Jerry Thornton
12/07/2010 - 9:05pm
"Is it better to be loved or feared? That’s a good question. It’s great to be both, but it’s very difficult. But if I had my choice, I would rather be feared. Fear lasts longer than love." — Sonny, "A Bronx Tale" "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta." — Geto Boys
Jerry Thornton
12/01/2010 - 12:50am
It’s not often that Jets fans and shameless, unrepentant, Patriots jammies-wearing suckups like myself have ever agreed on anything. But if there’s one thing we can all sign onto, it’s the hugeness of this week’s game.
Jerry Thornton
11/24/2010 - 1:05am
There can be no doubt that Thanksgiving in the greatest holiday ever invented. There’s minimal shopping involved, no gifts, no wrapping or running around. It consists of nothing but football, drinking, eating to excess, more football and leftovers. Minus a half-dozen lingerie models, it really is the perfect day.
Jerry Thornton
11/17/2010 - 8:38pm
Generally speaking, I consider myself to be a guy with fairly middle-of-the-road, mainstream tastes. The stuff I like tends to be widely popular and the stuff I don’t usually isn’t. I don’t know if that makes me a follower or what, but I do know that typically I’m like a one-man focus group when it comes to gauging what the American public likes.
Jerry Thornton
11/10/2010 - 3:07pm
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I love the Patriots like I love my country: In a completely biased, irrational, jingoistic, my-football-team-right-or-wrong, star-spangled championship banner-waving, “Foxboro: Love It or Leave It” bumper-sticker kind of way.
Jerry Thornton
11/02/2010 - 9:56pm
“Revenge is a dish best served cold”- Old Klingon Proverb (quoted in “Kill Bill, Vol. I)
Jerry Thornton
10/27/2010 - 10:12pm
Dear Brett Favre, Please play against the Patriots this Sunday.  
Jerry Thornton
10/19/2010 - 11:04pm
It just wouldn’t be the NFL season without a raging firestorm of controversy.
Jerry Thornton
10/13/2010 - 5:52am
"You can't go back home … to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame … back home to someone who can help you, save you, ease the burden for you, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting.” — Thomas Wolfe


Audio On Demand

Patriots tame Lions - Res…

Patriots tame Lions - Response and Reaction - The Real Postgame Show

Fred Smerlas, Steve DeOssie and Butch Stearns break down all aspects of the Patriots win over the Lions, and take your calls as well.

It Is What It Is Cast: Defense steps up again as Patriots crush Lions

WEEI.com's Mike Petraglia and Chris Price break down the Patriots' 34-9 win over the Lions, the team's seventh win in a row. The defense stepped up again and now gets a crack at Aaron Rodgers next Sunday.

NFL Sunday: Final thoughts and predictions for Pats/Lions

The guys give their final thoughts and predictions leading up to the 1pm matchup with Detroit.

We Hate Dwayne Wade - Mar…

We Hate Dwayne Wade - Marcus Smart injury 11-12-14

How have the Celtics looked after a couple weeks? Could they be a playoff team? These questions and more...

WHDW - Greg Dickerson Joins the Show to talk Celtics

Sam and Ben talk with Greg Dickerson about how fun this year's Celtics team is to watch as well Jeff Green trade ideas.

Kyle Draper, Comcast Sports New England, Celtics will compete for a playoff spot this season

Kyle Draper joins Danny Picard to talk about the Celtics chances this season in the Eastern Conference, last Wednesday's home opener blowout against the Nets, and Rajon Rondo's future in Boston

Brian MacPherson, Provide…

Brian MacPherson, Providence Journal

Red Sox beat writer Brian MacPherson joins Danny Picard to talk about the Red Sox going after Jon Lester and other free agents.

Hot Stove Show 11-20-14

The Hot Stove guys are talking about Pablo Sandoval and Jon Lester's contract offers from the Red Sox. They then por one out for the Giancarlo Stanton rumors being put to bed.

Hot Stove Show 11-13-14

The Hot Stove boys are back again, talking about Jon Lester, Pablo Sandoval, Giancarlo Stanton's b

NESN's Jack Edwards with …

NESN's Jack Edwards with Dale and Holley

Dale and Michael get Jack Edwards' 'state of the B' report and talk about the win over the Blues at the Garden on Tuesday.

Andy Brickley, NESN, talks about the Bruins 2-0 win over St. Louis, 11-19-14

Andy Brickley joined the show and touched on last night's convincing win over a good team, Matt Bartkowski needing a wake up call, and the NHL review process.

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sports. NHL should have a coach's challenge 11-13-14

Pierre joins the guys to talk about the Bruins struggles, the NHL franchise in Las Vegas, and the return of the glow puck!

Boston College Steve Adda…

Boston College Steve Addazio on Florida State 11-21-14

BC's head coach joined the show to preview the Florida State game.

Rodney Harrison on Gronk 11-21-14

Rodney Harrison previewed the Patriots and Lions with the guys.

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: President Obama's new immigration policy 11-21-14

The top stories of the as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

Christian's Dad, Detectiv…

Christian's Dad, Detective Fauria tales for VICE squad 11-21-14

Detective Fauria tells us the infamous gloryhole story from VICE squad and other stories Christian's past.

Kyle Arrington previews Pats-Lions 11-21-14

Just out of practice, Kyle Arrington joins the guys to preview Pats-Lions

Christian Fauria prank calls Detroit sports radio 97.1 The Ticket; praises nephew Joseph Fauria 11-21-14

Christian in Foxboro returns, this time he's trolling Detroit sports radio station 97.1 The Ticket's Stoney and Bill show . Christian rips Lions fans and asks why his nephew, Joseph, isn't getting the ball more.

Michael Irvin: Bill Belic…

Michael Irvin: Bill Belichick manages people as well as he manages X's and O's

We check in with the playmaker Michael Irvin for his weekly update on all things NFL. We talk to Michael about the Raiders first win, the LeGarrette Blount saga, and how the Pats will do against the Lions this weekend.

Great week turns sour for Jonas Gray as he reportedly gets sent home for being late to practice

Michael and Dale discuss Jonas Gray's tardiness, and try and predict how the running-back will respond and make up for his error.

Which Patriots team do the 2014 Patriots remind you most of?

We talk with Tom E Curran and debate whether or not the Patriots current performance is more reminiscent of the 2004 or 2007 Patriots.

Brandon Alisoglu gives us…

Brandon Alisoglu gives us an analysis of the Lions

Brandon covers the NFL, particularly the Detroit Lions for Bleacher Report. He gives us his thoughts on this Sunday's game and how the Lions stack up against the Patriots.

Cold, Hard Football Talk

Mikey, Villani, Lenny and Kerry Byrne are talking Patriots-Lions and how the team this year stacks up to Patriots teams of the past.

Wonderin' Why the Lions Suck

Some more Musical Mikey Magic to get ready for Sunday's Patriots-Lions game.

UnSportsManLike Podcast -…

UnSportsManLike Podcast - 30 for 30 Ideas 11-21-14

Jerry Thornton's first podcast explores sports stories that would make for interesting 30 for 30 documentaries.

College Puckcast with Andy Merritt and Merrimack coach Mark Dennehy

Andy Merritt of the New England Hockey Journal joined WEEI.com’s Scott McLaughlin to talk about the play of Vermont and Providence, as well as other happenings around Hockey East. Merrimack coach Mark Dennehy also joined the show to talk about his team’s good start, his freshman class and how he uses possession stats.

We Hate Dwyane Wade - Mike Mutnansky Talks Hated Players and Rajon Rondo.

Joining the show today Mut the all-purpose back of WEEI. We talk about players we have hated over the years as well as Rajon Rondo and what is ailing the Celtics.

Adam Schefter: I'm pickin…

Adam Schefter: I'm picking Detriot 11-21-14

Adam Schefter joins the guys to give his prediction for Pats-Lions, talks about the snow in Buffalo, and the Adrian Peterson saga.

More from this show

Christian Fauria prank ca…

Christian Fauria prank calls Detroit sports radio WDFN; praises nephew Joseph Fauria

Christian in Foxboro returns, this time he's trolling Detroit sports radio station WDFN's Shep in the Morning Show. Christian rips Lions fans and asks why his nephew, Joseph, isn't getting the ball more.

More from this show

The Patriots win again wi…

The Patriots win again without taking the field 11-21-14

The guys opened the show discussing the Raiders win over the Chiefs.

More from this show

Rodney Harrison on Gronk …

Rodney Harrison on Gronk 11-21-14

Rodney Harrison previewed the Patriots and Lions with the guys.

More from this show

We should have seen the r…

We should have seen the resigning of LeGarrette Blount by the Patriots coming

Michael and Dale discuss the return of LGB, and how the move really wasn't that surprising to begin with.

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