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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
03/22/2011 - 11:55pm
I, for one, am ecstatic that Bruins season is finally about to start.
Jerry Thornton
03/15/2011 - 11:49pm
As we walk through this veil of tears we call life, it’s rare that you ever get to witness perfection. Or anything close to it. Man is an imperfect creature, so it follows that anything designed by the mind of man or built by his hand will be flawed in some way. Even a Persian rug maker will put one crooked stitch in his work because only Allah is perfect.
Jerry Thornton
03/09/2011 - 2:11am
As sad as this is to admit, for the better part of a week I’ve been riveted to what’s been going on with the NFL labor talks. I’ve been one of those devout followers, waiting patiently outside (via television of course) for any sign of progress, like the basic cable equivalent of a pilgrim in Rome looking for white smoke coming out of the Vatican chimney.
Jerry Thornton
03/02/2011 - 1:20am
A week ago, when it was announced the Celtics had traded Kendrick Perkins, reactions varied from “stunned and dismayed” to “shocked but pleased.” I mean, everyone was in agreement they didn&rsqu
Jerry Thornton
02/23/2011 - 12:17am
One thing members of this Red Sox management team are fond of saying — besides “ticket prices will increase” — is that every team comes into every season with an entirely different makeup, an entirely different group dynamic.
Jerry Thornton
02/20/2011 - 12:51pm
Like everyone else I know, I've hit the vast cultural wasteland between the end of the Super Bowl and the start of March Madness full of despair. I mean, at this point in the calendar every winter goes from lousy to sucks.
Jerry Thornton
02/19/2011 - 1:19pm
For all its pockets of effete, blueblooded-snobbery, high tech yuppiness and Ivy League elitism, Boston is still a blue-collar town to the core, especially when it comes to pro sports. For every cardigan-sweatered intellectual with a Kindle full of 'George F.
Jerry Thornton
02/02/2011 - 12:49am
The Super Bowl is more than just a game. And it’s more than America’s great, secular, national holiday. The Super Bowl IS America. It’s big. It’s loud. It’s overblown. It’s preposterous.
Jerry Thornton
01/26/2011 - 1:57am
This past weekend in his Sunday Globe column, Dan Shaughnessy suggested all Patriots fans should join him in rooting for the Jets to win the Super Bowl.
Jerry Thornton
01/19/2011 - 12:21am
I know that if lived in some other city, one where they hate Boston teams and Boston fans — which is to say, every other sports town in America — I know what I’d be doing this week. In the wake of the Patriots’ epic failure. I’d be perusing sites like this one.
Jerry Thornton
01/12/2011 - 2:01am
  If I can start out here with a bit of shameless self-promotion. Some time ago the bosses at WEEI.com asked me if I’d be interested in doing some video for them. The general idea was a man-in-the-street type of thing, interviewing fans at various sporting events. Sort of like Jay Leno’s "Jaywalking" segment, except hopefully entertaining.
Jerry Thornton
01/05/2011 - 2:14am
It’s been said countless times that a football team is a reflection of its coach. And the true genius of your New England Patriots during the reign of Belichick the Conqueror has been the ability to turn lousy opponents into great ones.
Jerry Thornton
12/29/2010 - 12:54am
Even the most casual student of history knows that some years are more significant than others.That some years stand out. You could’ve spent every history class of your life drawing pirate faces on all the presidents and making folded-paper fortune tellers and still absorbed enough general info to associate certain years with certain major historic events.
Jerry Thornton
12/22/2010 - 1:00am
I have a platonic female friend who has everything a woman could ask for: good looks, her health, nice career, great husband, a new baby who’s so cute that looking directly at her could cause temporary blindness. She’s got everything she could want with the exception of me, since I only have eyes for my own Sweet Irish Rose.
Jerry Thornton
12/15/2010 - 12:14am
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m a Christmas person. I’m one of those saps who gets all doe-eyed and misty at holiday time. I believe with all my heart the holidays are the time to count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. And for those of who love sports and are lucky enough to live in Boston, our blessings this year are many.
Jerry Thornton
12/07/2010 - 10:05pm
"Is it better to be loved or feared? That’s a good question. It’s great to be both, but it’s very difficult. But if I had my choice, I would rather be feared. Fear lasts longer than love." — Sonny, "A Bronx Tale" "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta." — Geto Boys
Jerry Thornton
12/01/2010 - 1:50am
It’s not often that Jets fans and shameless, unrepentant, Patriots jammies-wearing suckups like myself have ever agreed on anything. But if there’s one thing we can all sign onto, it’s the hugeness of this week’s game.
Jerry Thornton
11/24/2010 - 2:05am
There can be no doubt that Thanksgiving in the greatest holiday ever invented. There’s minimal shopping involved, no gifts, no wrapping or running around. It consists of nothing but football, drinking, eating to excess, more football and leftovers. Minus a half-dozen lingerie models, it really is the perfect day.
Jerry Thornton
11/17/2010 - 9:38pm
Generally speaking, I consider myself to be a guy with fairly middle-of-the-road, mainstream tastes. The stuff I like tends to be widely popular and the stuff I don’t usually isn’t. I don’t know if that makes me a follower or what, but I do know that typically I’m like a one-man focus group when it comes to gauging what the American public likes.
Jerry Thornton
11/10/2010 - 4:07pm
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I love the Patriots like I love my country: In a completely biased, irrational, jingoistic, my-football-team-right-or-wrong, star-spangled championship banner-waving, “Foxboro: Love It or Leave It” bumper-sticker kind of way.
Jerry Thornton
11/02/2010 - 10:56pm
“Revenge is a dish best served cold”- Old Klingon Proverb (quoted in “Kill Bill, Vol. I)
Jerry Thornton
10/27/2010 - 11:12pm
Dear Brett Favre, Please play against the Patriots this Sunday.  
Jerry Thornton
10/20/2010 - 12:04am
It just wouldn’t be the NFL season without a raging firestorm of controversy.
Jerry Thornton
10/13/2010 - 6:52am
"You can't go back home … to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame … back home to someone who can help you, save you, ease the burden for you, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting.” — Thomas Wolfe
Jerry Thornton
10/08/2010 - 2:09am
“The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting!” — “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”


Audio On Demand

Patriots Coach Bill Belic…

Patriots Coach Bill Belichick with Dale and Holley

We sit down with Bill Belichick on a Patriots Monday and get his take on a nail-biting win over the Jets, as well as his feelings on Peyton Manning breaking the NFL record for touchdowns.

Vince Wilfork with Dale and Holley

We check in with Big Vince on a Patriots Monday. Vince sounds like he's fighting a cold but swears he'll be good to go come Sunday. Vince tells Dale and Holley that their defense will have to be better if they expect to keep winning, especially against the ground game.

Tedy Bruschi with Dale and Holley

Full Tilt, Full Time #54 Tedy Bruschi talks to Dale and Holley about a record breaking night for Peyton Manning, and a tough win for the Patriots this past Thursday.

We Hate Dwyane Wade - Kir…

We Hate Dwyane Wade - Kirk Minihane Previews the Celtics

Kirk Minihane joins the We Hate Dwyane Wade Show to preview the upcoming Celtics season. Ben and Sam also discuss the Rajon Rondo/Jeff Green trade rumors and dabble in the classic NBA analytics debate.

NWOA Injury Report - Rajon Rondo

Dr Nick Leung for the Newton Wellesley Orthopedics Association joins Ben to talk about Rajon Rondo's broken hand.

We Hate Dwyane Wade - 10-1-14

The debut edition of the We Hate Dwyane Wade show. Ben and Sam preview the Celtics and talk about other summer news around the NBA.

Joe Castiglione wraps up …

Joe Castiglione wraps up the 2014 Red Sox Season with a Poem

Joe Castiglione does his annual wrap-up of the season by reading the poem by Bart Giamatti.

Mut and Bradford on the disappointing season for Jackie Bradley, Jr and Xander Bogaerts 9-28-14

Mut and Rob discuss the "kids" and the variety of young bodies the Red Sox called upon this season. Specifically, they look at Bogaerts and Bradley, Jr. and where things went wrong. They give their opinions on which one will right the ship next season.

Minor Details Ep. 101: Red Sox director of player development Ben Crockett on the state of the Red Sox system

Description: Red Sox farm director Ben Crockett looks back at the 2014 Red Sox prospect season by answering listener questions about a number of Red Sox prospects as well as broader issues and themes in the farm system.

Tony Marinaro from TSN 69…

Tony Marinaro from TSN 690 in Montreal yells about Bruins-Habs 10-17-14

The world's biggest Canadiens fan Tony Marinaro joins MFB after the Bruins and Tuukka Rask suffered another loss in Montreal.

Jack Edwards with Dale and Holley

We check in with NESN's Jack Edwards for a Bruins-Canadiens preview, live from French-Quebec.

Pierre McGuire, NBC: Bruins have had horrible early schedule. 10-16-14

Pierre McGuire joins MFB to analyze last night's Bruins-Red Wings game and preview tonight's game against the Canadiens. Pierre also offers his take on fighting in the NHL.

Tom Brady on Peyton Manni…

Tom Brady on Peyton Manning's touchdown record 10-20-14

Tom Brady discussed Peyton's record breaking night.

Tim Hasselbeck on Manning vs. Brady 10-20-14

Tim Hasselbeck on Peyton vs. Brady.

Peyton Manning breaks Favre's touchdown record 10-20-14

The guys opened the show discussing Peyton Manning's record setting night in Denver.

Christian's Top 5 Coaches…

Christian's Top 5 Coaches in the NFL, 10-20-14

Christian talks about his Top 5 coaches in the NFL.

Three For All - Christian has poisoned himself

Christian learns a thing or two about lead poisoning. San Francisco hates Lorde until the World Series is over. Floyd Mayweather sued for false imprisonment.

Chris "Dwight Stone" Jones, talks about blocking the late FG Thursday night, 10-20-14

Patriots DT Chris Jones wasn't even sure he was the one who blocked NIck Folk's FG attempt to seal the win against the Jets. He also talked about how well LB Dont'a Hightower has done in place of Jerod Mayo.

Tedy Bruschi: I recognize…

Tedy Bruschi: I recognize the greatest of Manning, but I'm still going with Tom

Full Tilt, Full Time #54 Tedy Bruschi talks to Dale and Holley about a record breaking night for Peyton Manning, and a tough win for the Patriots this past Thursday.

Bill Belichick (wryly): It's comforting to know Manning has thrown more TD's against us than anyone

We sit down with Bill Belichick on a Patriots Monday and get his take on a nail-biting win over the Jets, as well as his feelings on Peyton Manning breaking the NFL record for touchdowns.

Vince Wilfork: We just couldn't get off the field on third down

We check in with Big Vince on a Patriots Monday. Vince sounds like he's fighting a cold but swears he'll be good to go come Sunday. Vince tells Dale and Holley that their defense will have to be better if they expect to keep winning, especially against the ground game.

10 Years since the Red So…

10 Years since the Red Sox began their comeback and eventual World Series Championship

Mikey, Villani and Lenny are talking about the 2004 Red Sox on the anniversary of Game 4 of the ALCS with Dave Roberts steal abd Bill Mueller driving him in and what it was like to witness.

The Patriots record during the regular season and Super Bowl

Mikey, Mut and Lenny are talking about the Patriots and how they have stacked up through the years and what got them to the three championships and five Super Bowl appearances in the Brady-Belichick era.

Bill Belichick and the Patriots Draft History

Mikey and Mut take a call from someone who wants to criticize Belichick the GM and his history of drafting players and making moves in the draft.

The Fantasy Football Hour…

The Fantasy Football Hour with Jim Hackett and Pete Davidson - Week 7, 10-19-14

This week Pete gives the listeners a brief, but enthusiastic history lesson the ineptitude of the New York Jets. They also help you set your final rosters for your Week 7 fantasy teams.

SoccerCast - Revs March to the Playoffs

Predictions for the Revs moving into the playoffs, Jurgen Klinsmann vs Don Garber, and Ben needs a new European team to root for.

We Hate Dwyane Wade - Kirk Minihane Previews the Celtics

Kirk Minihane joins the We Hate Dwyane Wade Show to preview the upcoming Celtics season. Ben and Sam also discuss the Rajon Rondo/Jeff Green trade rumors and dabble in the classic NBA analytics debate.

Tom Brady on Peyton Manni…

Tom Brady on Peyton Manning's touchdown record 10-20-14

Tom Brady discussed Peyton's record breaking night.

More from this show

Tim Hasselbeck on Manning…

Peyton Manning breaks Fav…

Peyton Manning breaks Favre's touchdown record 10-20-14

The guys opened the show discussing Peyton Manning's record setting night in Denver.

More from this show

Peyton Manning breaks the…

Peyton Manning breaks the all-time TD record, 10-20-14

Peyton Manning broke another record last night, which obviously started the Brady/Manning debate. We hear from Tim Hasselbeck, Tom Brady, and talk about who has had the better career.

More from this show

NFL Sunday - Around the N…

NFL Sunday - Around the NFL, 10-19-14

Mut and Chris Price go Around the NFL and take a look at ALL the games today and one tomorrow.

More from this show

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