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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
03/22/2011 - 11:55pm
I, for one, am ecstatic that Bruins season is finally about to start.
Jerry Thornton
03/15/2011 - 11:49pm
As we walk through this veil of tears we call life, it’s rare that you ever get to witness perfection. Or anything close to it. Man is an imperfect creature, so it follows that anything designed by the mind of man or built by his hand will be flawed in some way. Even a Persian rug maker will put one crooked stitch in his work because only Allah is perfect.
Jerry Thornton
03/09/2011 - 2:11am
As sad as this is to admit, for the better part of a week I’ve been riveted to what’s been going on with the NFL labor talks. I’ve been one of those devout followers, waiting patiently outside (via television of course) for any sign of progress, like the basic cable equivalent of a pilgrim in Rome looking for white smoke coming out of the Vatican chimney.
Jerry Thornton
03/02/2011 - 1:20am
A week ago, when it was announced the Celtics had traded Kendrick Perkins, reactions varied from “stunned and dismayed” to “shocked but pleased.” I mean, everyone was in agreement they didn&rsqu
Jerry Thornton
02/23/2011 - 12:17am
One thing members of this Red Sox management team are fond of saying — besides “ticket prices will increase” — is that every team comes into every season with an entirely different makeup, an entirely different group dynamic.
Jerry Thornton
02/20/2011 - 12:51pm
Like everyone else I know, I've hit the vast cultural wasteland between the end of the Super Bowl and the start of March Madness full of despair. I mean, at this point in the calendar every winter goes from lousy to sucks.
Jerry Thornton
02/19/2011 - 1:19pm
For all its pockets of effete, blueblooded-snobbery, high tech yuppiness and Ivy League elitism, Boston is still a blue-collar town to the core, especially when it comes to pro sports. For every cardigan-sweatered intellectual with a Kindle full of 'George F.
Jerry Thornton
02/02/2011 - 12:49am
The Super Bowl is more than just a game. And it’s more than America’s great, secular, national holiday. The Super Bowl IS America. It’s big. It’s loud. It’s overblown. It’s preposterous.
Jerry Thornton
01/26/2011 - 1:57am
This past weekend in his Sunday Globe column, Dan Shaughnessy suggested all Patriots fans should join him in rooting for the Jets to win the Super Bowl.
Jerry Thornton
01/19/2011 - 12:21am
I know that if lived in some other city, one where they hate Boston teams and Boston fans — which is to say, every other sports town in America — I know what I’d be doing this week. In the wake of the Patriots’ epic failure. I’d be perusing sites like this one.
Jerry Thornton
01/12/2011 - 2:01am
  If I can start out here with a bit of shameless self-promotion. Some time ago the bosses at WEEI.com asked me if I’d be interested in doing some video for them. The general idea was a man-in-the-street type of thing, interviewing fans at various sporting events. Sort of like Jay Leno’s "Jaywalking" segment, except hopefully entertaining.
Jerry Thornton
01/05/2011 - 2:14am
It’s been said countless times that a football team is a reflection of its coach. And the true genius of your New England Patriots during the reign of Belichick the Conqueror has been the ability to turn lousy opponents into great ones.
Jerry Thornton
12/29/2010 - 12:54am
Even the most casual student of history knows that some years are more significant than others.That some years stand out. You could’ve spent every history class of your life drawing pirate faces on all the presidents and making folded-paper fortune tellers and still absorbed enough general info to associate certain years with certain major historic events.
Jerry Thornton
12/22/2010 - 1:00am
I have a platonic female friend who has everything a woman could ask for: good looks, her health, nice career, great husband, a new baby who’s so cute that looking directly at her could cause temporary blindness. She’s got everything she could want with the exception of me, since I only have eyes for my own Sweet Irish Rose.
Jerry Thornton
12/15/2010 - 12:14am
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m a Christmas person. I’m one of those saps who gets all doe-eyed and misty at holiday time. I believe with all my heart the holidays are the time to count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. And for those of who love sports and are lucky enough to live in Boston, our blessings this year are many.
Jerry Thornton
12/07/2010 - 10:05pm
"Is it better to be loved or feared? That’s a good question. It’s great to be both, but it’s very difficult. But if I had my choice, I would rather be feared. Fear lasts longer than love." — Sonny, "A Bronx Tale" "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta." — Geto Boys
Jerry Thornton
12/01/2010 - 1:50am
It’s not often that Jets fans and shameless, unrepentant, Patriots jammies-wearing suckups like myself have ever agreed on anything. But if there’s one thing we can all sign onto, it’s the hugeness of this week’s game.
Jerry Thornton
11/24/2010 - 2:05am
There can be no doubt that Thanksgiving in the greatest holiday ever invented. There’s minimal shopping involved, no gifts, no wrapping or running around. It consists of nothing but football, drinking, eating to excess, more football and leftovers. Minus a half-dozen lingerie models, it really is the perfect day.
Jerry Thornton
11/17/2010 - 9:38pm
Generally speaking, I consider myself to be a guy with fairly middle-of-the-road, mainstream tastes. The stuff I like tends to be widely popular and the stuff I don’t usually isn’t. I don’t know if that makes me a follower or what, but I do know that typically I’m like a one-man focus group when it comes to gauging what the American public likes.
Jerry Thornton
11/10/2010 - 4:07pm
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I love the Patriots like I love my country: In a completely biased, irrational, jingoistic, my-football-team-right-or-wrong, star-spangled championship banner-waving, “Foxboro: Love It or Leave It” bumper-sticker kind of way.
Jerry Thornton
11/02/2010 - 10:56pm
“Revenge is a dish best served cold”- Old Klingon Proverb (quoted in “Kill Bill, Vol. I)
Jerry Thornton
10/27/2010 - 11:12pm
Dear Brett Favre, Please play against the Patriots this Sunday.  
Jerry Thornton
10/20/2010 - 12:04am
It just wouldn’t be the NFL season without a raging firestorm of controversy.
Jerry Thornton
10/13/2010 - 6:52am
"You can't go back home … to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame … back home to someone who can help you, save you, ease the burden for you, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting.” — Thomas Wolfe
Jerry Thornton
10/08/2010 - 2:09am
“The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting!” — “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”


Audio On Demand

Rodney Harrison says Beli…

Rodney Harrison says Belichick could handle Richie Incognito, 9-23-14

Former Patriots safety and current NBC Sports analyst, Rodney Harrison, spoke about the Patriots offensive line struggles. He talked about being hated in league and hating Jerry Rice and Randy Moss at points in his career. He thinks Josh McDaniels needs to get Brandon LaFell involved, and what to expect from Darrelle Revis going forward.

Vince Wilfork with Dale and Holley

We check in with Big Vince Wilfork on a Patriots Monday and get his take on the defense's progression, his interception, his teammate Darrelle Revis and playing Monday Night Football in KC.

Patriots Coach Bill Belichick with Dale and Holley

We check in with the head coach for his reaction to the Patriots win against Oakland, the offense's struggles, Julien Edelman, and playing in KC on Monday Night.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Bo…

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston, "I think Rondo is going to go, I just don't see where and how yet" 7-17-14

Jackie Mac joins the guys to discuss her thoughts on a possible mid-season tournament in the NBA, LeBron's return to Cleveland, trade rumors with the Celtics and Red Sox, and Darrelle Revis' contract situation.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston: I believe Rondo will be traded 7-10-14

Jackie MacMullan of ESPN Boston to talk about the Lebron James Saga, the possibility of Rajon Rondo being traded, and the future of Marcus Smart.

OK State Men's Basketball coach, Travis Ford, joins MFB to talk about Marcus Smart, 6-30-14

Former coach of Celtics 1st-round pick Marcus Smart, Travis Ford joins MFB to talk about what Celtics fans should expect from the strong point guard. Among other things, Coach Ford says Smart will be a hard worker, and will improve his shooting ability.

David Ortiz Player of the…

David Ortiz Player of the Game Interview

Joe and Dave talk with David Ortiz after he hits two home runs to propel the Red Sox to an extra-innings win over the Baltimore Orioles.

Ben Cherington on Rusney Castillo 9-18-14

Ben Cherington discussed the debut of Castillo and his thoughts on Jeter.

Sox Manager John Farrell with Dale and Holley

As the season winds down, We check in Sox skipper John Farrell as we await the Boston debut of Rusney Castillo.

The Bradfo Show: Talking …

The Bradfo Show: Talking Bruins roster moves with DJ Bean, Turtleboy

Rob Bradford is joined by WEEI.com Bruins beat writer DJ Bean, as well as Boston sports fan/blogger Turtleboy to talk all things Bruins free agency. With the B's recent moves, the conversation turns to where the Bruins might next turn and what kind of dent losing Jarome Iginla and Shawn Thornton might make.

DJ Bean breaks down the first hours of NHL Free Agency 7-1-14

DJ discusses Shawn Thornton's new deal, and the on going negotiations with Jerome Iginla

DJ Bean, WEEI.com. The Bruins are not traded Marchand 6-13-14

DJ Bean joins the program to dismiss the recent rumors that the Bruins are in discussions to trade Brad Marchand to the Sharks for Patrick Marleau

Headlines, Headlines, Hea…

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: Third Boob 9-23-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

Is Tom Brady in decline? 9-23-14

Gerry and Kirk go at it on whether or not Brady is starting to decline.

Steve Bisciotti defends his actions 9-23-14

The guys opened the show discussing the latest on the Ravens and Steve Bisciotti.

Mookie Betts should be th…

Mookie Betts should be the 2015 lead off hitter, 9-23-14

It appears that Mookie Betts is the front-runner to be the lead off hitter for the Red Sox in 2015. But where will he play? And who gets traded? The guys talk about getting younger and re-visit the Sox making a play for Giancarlo Stanton.

Three For All - Apollos Hester's epic post game speech, 9-23-14

A reporter quits LIVE on the air in hilarious fashion. The details of Rob Bironas' death are starting to emerge. High School football player Apollos Hester gives an uplifting post-game speech for the ages.

Rodney Harrison says Belichick could handle Richie Incognito, 9-23-14

Former Patriots safety and current NBC Sports analyst, Rodney Harrison, spoke about the Patriots offensive line struggles. He talked about being hated in league and hating Jerry Rice and Randy Moss at points in his career. He thinks Josh McDaniels needs to get Brandon LaFell involved, and what to expect from Darrelle Revis going forward.

MMQB's Peter King with Da…

MMQB's Peter King with Dale and Holley

We check in with the great Peter King of SI and MMQB for his latest takes on all things NFL.

Dale and Holley's Four at Four - Self-Inflicted Wounds Edition - 9/23/14

We tackle four topics all stemming from a Detroit Lion blowing out his knee trying to do a sack dance in this past Sunday's game.

Tedy Bruschi: Edelman? That kid is a little baller.

We check in with Tedy Bruschi on a Patriots Monday for his reaction to the Patriots struggles, Julien Edelman and his strong comments about his desire to see Roger Goodell lose his job.

Jim Koch joins Planet Mik…

Jim Koch joins Planet Mikey

Co-founder and chairman of the Boston Beer Company, Jim Koch, talks about his Sam Adams beer and the history of his brewery.

Danny Picard talks Red Sox and Patriots with Mike Giardi

Danny picard is filling in for Mikey and talks with CSNNE's Mike Giardi about Clay Buchholz heading up the Red Sox pitching rotation, and how the Patriots have looked through training camp so far.

Jon Lester's Contract Situation and the Future

Mut and Villani are talking about whether the Red Sox will give Jon Lester the type of contract he is looking for, or whether they might be shopping him with rumors of the Red Sox scouting Cole Hamels.

D&C's Breaking Balls Podc…

D&C's Breaking Balls Podcast: Jerry Thornton and Boston Sports Media 9-22-14

Jerry Thornton joins Dino and Kirk for the second edition of Breaking Balls. They dive into a variety of topics including their feelings about polarizing Boston sports media members.

Producers Podcast: Sausage and Beans 9-18-14

Your beloved hosts are joined by WEEI.com Bruins reporter DJ Bean as well as producer of the Dennis & Callahan Show, Craig "Sausage" Sawisch. Support America: Support Your Local Post Office

Dennis & Callahan's Breaking Balls Podcast: The NFL's hot mess, Jenny Dell and who has bad breath.

Dennis, Callahan and Minihane make their podcast debut. This week's topics include Adrian Peterson, Greg Hardy, Jenny Dell and some discussion on people we've encountered with the worst breath.

Tom Brady on the issues o…

Tom Brady on the issues on offense 9-22-14

Tom joined the show after the close win over Oakland.

More from this show

D&C's Breaking Balls Podc…

D&C's Breaking Balls Podcast: Jerry Thornton and Boston Sports Media 9-22-14

Jerry Thornton joins Dino and Kirk for the second edition of Breaking Balls. They dive into a variety of topics including their feelings about polarizing Boston sports media members.

More from this show

Tim Hasselbeck wants a ne…

Tim Hasselbeck wants a new commissioner 9-22-14

Tim Hasselbeck joined the show to discuss week 3 in the NFL.

More from this show

Patriots edge Raiders tig…

Patriots edge Raiders tight battle, 9-22-14

The defense was forced to make a stop in the last minute of the game to preserve the 16-9 victory on Sunday. The offense had no rhythm again and struggled in the red zone. The offensive line looked poor again. Lou, Christian and Tim talk about the win that looked like a loss, and what this team needs to do to improve.

More from this show

The Pats struggle to a 16…

The Pats struggle to a 16-9 win over Oakland 9-22-14

Dino, Kirk and Thornton opened the show discussing an ugly win by the Patriots.

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