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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
03/22/2011 - 11:55pm
I, for one, am ecstatic that Bruins season is finally about to start.
Jerry Thornton
03/15/2011 - 11:49pm
As we walk through this veil of tears we call life, it’s rare that you ever get to witness perfection. Or anything close to it. Man is an imperfect creature, so it follows that anything designed by the mind of man or built by his hand will be flawed in some way. Even a Persian rug maker will put one crooked stitch in his work because only Allah is perfect.
Jerry Thornton
03/09/2011 - 2:11am
As sad as this is to admit, for the better part of a week I’ve been riveted to what’s been going on with the NFL labor talks. I’ve been one of those devout followers, waiting patiently outside (via television of course) for any sign of progress, like the basic cable equivalent of a pilgrim in Rome looking for white smoke coming out of the Vatican chimney.
Jerry Thornton
03/02/2011 - 1:20am
A week ago, when it was announced the Celtics had traded Kendrick Perkins, reactions varied from “stunned and dismayed” to “shocked but pleased.” I mean, everyone was in agreement they didn&rsqu
Jerry Thornton
02/23/2011 - 12:17am
One thing members of this Red Sox management team are fond of saying — besides “ticket prices will increase” — is that every team comes into every season with an entirely different makeup, an entirely different group dynamic.
Jerry Thornton
02/20/2011 - 12:51pm
Like everyone else I know, I've hit the vast cultural wasteland between the end of the Super Bowl and the start of March Madness full of despair. I mean, at this point in the calendar every winter goes from lousy to sucks.
Jerry Thornton
02/19/2011 - 1:19pm
For all its pockets of effete, blueblooded-snobbery, high tech yuppiness and Ivy League elitism, Boston is still a blue-collar town to the core, especially when it comes to pro sports. For every cardigan-sweatered intellectual with a Kindle full of 'George F.
Jerry Thornton
02/02/2011 - 12:49am
The Super Bowl is more than just a game. And it’s more than America’s great, secular, national holiday. The Super Bowl IS America. It’s big. It’s loud. It’s overblown. It’s preposterous.
Jerry Thornton
01/26/2011 - 1:57am
This past weekend in his Sunday Globe column, Dan Shaughnessy suggested all Patriots fans should join him in rooting for the Jets to win the Super Bowl.
Jerry Thornton
01/19/2011 - 12:21am
I know that if lived in some other city, one where they hate Boston teams and Boston fans — which is to say, every other sports town in America — I know what I’d be doing this week. In the wake of the Patriots’ epic failure. I’d be perusing sites like this one.
Jerry Thornton
01/12/2011 - 2:01am
  If I can start out here with a bit of shameless self-promotion. Some time ago the bosses at WEEI.com asked me if I’d be interested in doing some video for them. The general idea was a man-in-the-street type of thing, interviewing fans at various sporting events. Sort of like Jay Leno’s "Jaywalking" segment, except hopefully entertaining.
Jerry Thornton
01/05/2011 - 2:14am
It’s been said countless times that a football team is a reflection of its coach. And the true genius of your New England Patriots during the reign of Belichick the Conqueror has been the ability to turn lousy opponents into great ones.
Jerry Thornton
12/29/2010 - 12:54am
Even the most casual student of history knows that some years are more significant than others.That some years stand out. You could’ve spent every history class of your life drawing pirate faces on all the presidents and making folded-paper fortune tellers and still absorbed enough general info to associate certain years with certain major historic events.
Jerry Thornton
12/22/2010 - 1:00am
I have a platonic female friend who has everything a woman could ask for: good looks, her health, nice career, great husband, a new baby who’s so cute that looking directly at her could cause temporary blindness. She’s got everything she could want with the exception of me, since I only have eyes for my own Sweet Irish Rose.
Jerry Thornton
12/15/2010 - 12:14am
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m a Christmas person. I’m one of those saps who gets all doe-eyed and misty at holiday time. I believe with all my heart the holidays are the time to count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. And for those of who love sports and are lucky enough to live in Boston, our blessings this year are many.
Jerry Thornton
12/07/2010 - 10:05pm
"Is it better to be loved or feared? That’s a good question. It’s great to be both, but it’s very difficult. But if I had my choice, I would rather be feared. Fear lasts longer than love." — Sonny, "A Bronx Tale" "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta." — Geto Boys
Jerry Thornton
12/01/2010 - 1:50am
It’s not often that Jets fans and shameless, unrepentant, Patriots jammies-wearing suckups like myself have ever agreed on anything. But if there’s one thing we can all sign onto, it’s the hugeness of this week’s game.
Jerry Thornton
11/24/2010 - 2:05am
There can be no doubt that Thanksgiving in the greatest holiday ever invented. There’s minimal shopping involved, no gifts, no wrapping or running around. It consists of nothing but football, drinking, eating to excess, more football and leftovers. Minus a half-dozen lingerie models, it really is the perfect day.
Jerry Thornton
11/17/2010 - 9:38pm
Generally speaking, I consider myself to be a guy with fairly middle-of-the-road, mainstream tastes. The stuff I like tends to be widely popular and the stuff I don’t usually isn’t. I don’t know if that makes me a follower or what, but I do know that typically I’m like a one-man focus group when it comes to gauging what the American public likes.
Jerry Thornton
11/10/2010 - 4:07pm
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I love the Patriots like I love my country: In a completely biased, irrational, jingoistic, my-football-team-right-or-wrong, star-spangled championship banner-waving, “Foxboro: Love It or Leave It” bumper-sticker kind of way.
Jerry Thornton
11/02/2010 - 10:56pm
“Revenge is a dish best served cold”- Old Klingon Proverb (quoted in “Kill Bill, Vol. I)
Jerry Thornton
10/27/2010 - 11:12pm
Dear Brett Favre, Please play against the Patriots this Sunday.  
Jerry Thornton
10/20/2010 - 12:04am
It just wouldn’t be the NFL season without a raging firestorm of controversy.
Jerry Thornton
10/13/2010 - 6:52am
"You can't go back home … to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame … back home to someone who can help you, save you, ease the burden for you, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting.” — Thomas Wolfe
Jerry Thornton
10/08/2010 - 2:09am
“The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting!” — “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”


Audio On Demand

Chris Price is on to Cinc…

Chris Price is on to Cincinnati, 10-1-14

Christopher Price, WEEI.com, was at the Bill Belichick and Tom Brady press conferences today. He spoke w/ MFB to talk about the upcoming game at home against the undefeated Bengals.

Tom Brady on the blowout loss in Kansas City 10-1-14

Tom Brady discussed the blowout loss.

Former Patriot Tedy Bruschi with Dale and Holley

We check in with Full Tilt, Full Time Tedy Bruschi for his take on the poor play of the New England Patriots, and where they go from here.\

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Bo…

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston, "I think Rondo is going to go, I just don't see where and how yet" 7-17-14

Jackie Mac joins the guys to discuss her thoughts on a possible mid-season tournament in the NBA, LeBron's return to Cleveland, trade rumors with the Celtics and Red Sox, and Darrelle Revis' contract situation.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston: I believe Rondo will be traded 7-10-14

Jackie MacMullan of ESPN Boston to talk about the Lebron James Saga, the possibility of Rajon Rondo being traded, and the future of Marcus Smart.

OK State Men's Basketball coach, Travis Ford, joins MFB to talk about Marcus Smart, 6-30-14

Former coach of Celtics 1st-round pick Marcus Smart, Travis Ford joins MFB to talk about what Celtics fans should expect from the strong point guard. Among other things, Coach Ford says Smart will be a hard worker, and will improve his shooting ability.

Joe Castiglione wraps up …

Joe Castiglione wraps up the 2014 Red Sox Season with a Poem

Joe Castiglione does his annual wrap-up of the season by reading the poem by Bart Giamatti.

Mut and Bradford on the disappointing season for Jackie Bradley, Jr and Xander Bogaerts 9-28-14

Mut and Rob discuss the "kids" and the variety of young bodies the Red Sox called upon this season. Specifically, they look at Bogaerts and Bradley, Jr. and where things went wrong. They give their opinions on which one will right the ship next season.

Minor Details Ep. 101: Red Sox director of player development Ben Crockett on the state of the Red Sox system

Description: Red Sox farm director Ben Crockett looks back at the 2014 Red Sox prospect season by answering listener questions about a number of Red Sox prospects as well as broader issues and themes in the farm system.

Bruins sign Torey Krug an…

Bruins sign Torey Krug and Reilly Smith, 9-29-14

DJ Bean, WEEI.com, joined the guys to talk about the Bruins signing two young stars to 1-year contracts.

The Bradfo Show: Talking Bruins roster moves with DJ Bean, Turtleboy

Rob Bradford is joined by WEEI.com Bruins beat writer DJ Bean, as well as Boston sports fan/blogger Turtleboy to talk all things Bruins free agency. With the B's recent moves, the conversation turns to where the Bruins might next turn and what kind of dent losing Jarome Iginla and Shawn Thornton might make.

DJ Bean breaks down the first hours of NHL Free Agency 7-1-14

DJ discusses Shawn Thornton's new deal, and the on going negotiations with Jerome Iginla

Bill Belichick is a dink …

Bill Belichick is a dink 10-1-14

The guys opened the show discussing the coaches less than amicable conversation with Dale & Holley.

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: Ebola is everywhere 10-1-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

Tom Brady on the blowout loss in Kansas City 10-1-14

Tom Brady discussed the blowout loss.

Chris Price is on to Cinc…

Chris Price is on to Cincinnati, 10-1-14

Christopher Price, WEEI.com, was at the Bill Belichick and Tom Brady press conferences today. He spoke w/ MFB to talk about the upcoming game at home against the undefeated Bengals.

Three For All - FCC aims to ban the word 'Redskins' 10-1-14

A bill in California has been signed into law, banning stores from using plastic bags. A Canadian football player talks trash into a hot microphone shortly before an in-game interview. The FCC is looking to ban the word "Redskins" from television and radio.

Tedy Bruschi says Tom Brady is no longer one of the elite quarterbacks, 10-1-14

The fallout from Monday night continues as former Tedy Bruschi criticized Tom Brady's play over the first 4 games. The show re-visits Rodney Harrison's comments from yesterday, specifically, that Brady is "scared to death" in the pocket.

Bill Belichick: Brady cam…

Bill Belichick: Brady came out when the game was out of hand

A less than chipper Bill Belichick joins Dale, Michael and Steve DeOssie the day after the Patriots got blown out on Monday Night in KC.

Vince Wilfork: We need to play more aggressively and not over-think things

The big nose tackle joins Dale and Holley the day after one of the worst losses in recent Patriots history.

Tedy Bruschi: Right now Tom Brady isn't an elite QB

We check in with Full Tilt, Full Time Tedy Bruschi for his take on the poor play of the New England Patriots, and where they go from here.

The Patriots defense vs t…

The Patriots defense vs the running game

Mut and Chris Villani are talking about the issues the Patriots defense faced against the Kansas City Chiefs, particularly in the running game.

Are the Patriots weak?

The Patriots seemed to have no answer for the Kansas City Chiefs. Mut and Price talk about how the Patriots were exposed in all aspects of the game.

Mut and Price talk about where it all went wrong for the Patriots

Mut is in for Mikey and Chris Price of WEEI.com is in with him. The guys talk about the Patriots defense, inability of the offense to stay on the field, and coaching adjustments or lack thereof.

SoccerCast MLS Latest/Cha…

SoccerCast MLS Latest/Champions League

Ben and Russ break down some rumors surrounding Real Madrid and Manchester United. Also on the docket is the MLS and your New England Revolution.

D&C's Breaking Balls Podcast: Gerry loves Brady and the guys are going to lunch 9-30-14

Dino, Gerry and Kirk talk about Gerry's passionate defense of Tom Brady, going to lunch and clock issues in the third edition of Breaking Balls.

Minor Details Ep. 101: Red Sox director of player development Ben Crockett on the state of the Red Sox system

Red Sox farm director Ben Crockett looks back at the 2014 Red Sox prospect season by answering listener questions about a number of Red Sox prospects as well as broader issues and themes in the farm system.

D&C's Breaking Balls Podc…

D&C's Breaking Balls Podcast: Gerry loves Brady and the guys are going to lunch 9-30-14

Dino, Gerry and Kirk talk about Gerry's passionate defense of Tom Brady, going to lunch and clock issues in the third edition of Breaking Balls.

More from this show

Dino walks out mid segmen…

Dino walks out mid segment 9-30-14

John Dennis left the show mid segment.

More from this show

Tim Hasselbeck on Patriot…

Tim Hasselbeck on Patriots Chiefs 9-29-14

Tim Hasselbeck on tonight's game at Arrowhead.

More from this show

The Patriots are a bad fo…

The Patriots are a bad football team 9-30-14

The guys opened the show discussing the Pats brutal Monday night loss.

More from this show

Tom Brady on the blowout …

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