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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
03/22/2011 - 11:55pm
I, for one, am ecstatic that Bruins season is finally about to start.
Jerry Thornton
03/15/2011 - 11:49pm
As we walk through this veil of tears we call life, it’s rare that you ever get to witness perfection. Or anything close to it. Man is an imperfect creature, so it follows that anything designed by the mind of man or built by his hand will be flawed in some way. Even a Persian rug maker will put one crooked stitch in his work because only Allah is perfect.
Jerry Thornton
03/09/2011 - 2:11am
As sad as this is to admit, for the better part of a week I’ve been riveted to what’s been going on with the NFL labor talks. I’ve been one of those devout followers, waiting patiently outside (via television of course) for any sign of progress, like the basic cable equivalent of a pilgrim in Rome looking for white smoke coming out of the Vatican chimney.
Jerry Thornton
02/23/2011 - 12:17am
One thing members of this Red Sox management team are fond of saying — besides “ticket prices will increase” — is that every team comes into every season with an entirely different makeup, an entirely different group dynamic.
Jerry Thornton
02/20/2011 - 12:51pm
Like everyone else I know, I've hit the vast cultural wasteland between the end of the Super Bowl and the start of March Madness full of despair.
Jerry Thornton
02/19/2011 - 1:19pm
For all its pockets of effete, blueblooded-snobbery, high tech yuppiness and Ivy League elitism, Boston is still a blue-collar town to the core, especially when it comes to pro sports. For every cardigan-sweatered intellectual with a Kindle full of 'George F.
Jerry Thornton
02/02/2011 - 12:49am
The Super Bowl is more than just a game. And it’s more than America’s great, secular, national holiday. The Super Bowl IS America. It’s big. It’s loud. It’s overblown. It’s preposterous. It’s a ridiculously monumental celebration of wretched excess with a football game in its chewy center. And the whole world can’t take their eyes off it. It’s what this country is all about.
Jerry Thornton
01/26/2011 - 1:57am
This past weekend in his Sunday Globe column, Dan Shaughnessy suggested all Patriots fans should join him in rooting for the Jets to win the Super Bowl. His theory being that if they were to win it all, it would light a fire under the collective asses of the Patriots’ organization to go out and do likewise in 2011. So by Shaughnessy’s logic (and I’m using the term in the loosest sense possible), the problem with the Pats has been that they haven’t been trying to win the Super Bowl.
Jerry Thornton
01/19/2011 - 12:21am
I know that if lived in some other city, one where they hate Boston teams and Boston fans — which is to say, every other sports town in America — I know what I’d be doing this week. In the wake of the Patriots’ epic failure. I’d be perusing sites like this one.
Jerry Thornton
01/12/2011 - 2:01am
  If I can start out here with a bit of shameless self-promotion. Some time ago the bosses at WEEI.com asked me if I’d be interested in doing some video for them. The general idea was a man-in-the-street type of thing, interviewing fans at various sporting events. Sort of like Jay Leno’s "Jaywalking" segment, except hopefully entertaining.
Jerry Thornton
01/05/2011 - 2:14am
It’s been said countless times that a football team is a reflection of its coach. And the true genius of your New England Patriots during the reign of Belichick the Conqueror has been the ability to turn lousy opponents into great ones.
Jerry Thornton
12/29/2010 - 12:54am
Even the most casual student of history knows that some years are more significant than others.That some years stand out. You could’ve spent every history class of your life drawing pirate faces on all the presidents and making folded-paper fortune tellers and still absorbed enough general info to associate certain years with certain major historic events.
Jerry Thornton
12/22/2010 - 1:00am
I have a platonic female friend who has everything a woman could ask for: good looks, her health, nice career, great husband, a new baby who’s so cute that looking directly at her could cause temporary blindness. She’s got everything she could want with the exception of me, since I only have eyes for my own Sweet Irish Rose.
Jerry Thornton
12/15/2010 - 12:14am
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m a Christmas person. I’m one of those saps who gets all doe-eyed and misty at holiday time. I believe with all my heart the holidays are the time to count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. And for those of who love sports and are lucky enough to live in Boston, our blessings this year are many.
Jerry Thornton
12/07/2010 - 10:05pm
"Is it better to be loved or feared? That’s a good question. It’s great to be both, but it’s very difficult. But if I had my choice, I would rather be feared. Fear lasts longer than love." — Sonny, "A Bronx Tale" "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta." — Geto Boys
Jerry Thornton
12/01/2010 - 1:50am
It’s not often that Jets fans and shameless, unrepentant, Patriots jammies-wearing suckups like myself have ever agreed on anything. But if there’s one thing we can all sign onto, it’s the hugeness of this week’s game.
Jerry Thornton
11/24/2010 - 2:05am
There can be no doubt that Thanksgiving in the greatest holiday ever invented. There’s minimal shopping involved, no gifts, no wrapping or running around. It consists of nothing but football, drinking, eating to excess, more football and leftovers.
Jerry Thornton
11/17/2010 - 9:38pm
Generally speaking, I consider myself to be a guy with fairly middle-of-the-road, mainstream tastes. The stuff I like tends to be widely popular and the stuff I don’t usually isn’t.
Jerry Thornton
11/10/2010 - 4:07pm
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I love the Patriots like I love my country: In a completely biased, irrational, jingoistic, my-football-team-right-or-wrong, star-spangled championship banner-waving, “Foxboro: Love It or Leave It” bumper-sticker kind of way.
Jerry Thornton
11/02/2010 - 10:56pm
“Revenge is a dish best served cold”- Old Klingon Proverb (quoted in “Kill Bill, Vol. I) There’s a widely held myth around the sports world that following the Patriots isn’t a lot of fun. That the Pats are too tightly controlled, too bland, too team oriented … and therefore, too uncharismatic to be as much fun as the more colorful teams. And while I don’t agree with it, I guess I can sort of see where they’re coming from.
Jerry Thornton
10/27/2010 - 11:12pm
Dear Brett Favre, Please play against the Patriots this Sunday.  
Jerry Thornton
10/20/2010 - 12:04am
It just wouldn’t be the NFL season without a raging firestorm of controversy. And in a year where we’ve had labor strife, trade demands, girls getting harassed left and right and more player penis pictures than you’d find in Tila Tequila’s BlackBerry, it’s kind of ironic that what’s set the world ablaze are a few old school hits.
Jerry Thornton
10/13/2010 - 6:52am
"You can't go back home … to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame … back home to someone who can help you, save you, ease the burden for you, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting.” — Thomas Wolfe
Jerry Thornton
10/08/2010 - 2:09am
“The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting!” — “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”


Audio On Demand

CSNNE's Tom E. Curran Rep…

CSNNE's Tom E. Curran Reports From NFL Owners Meetings

Tom Curran calls the show to discuss the Vince Wilfork contract situation. After texting with Vince this morning, Curran says that Vince's camp is possibly trying to put the "genie back in the lamp" and that the possibility of the Pro Bowl DT returning to the team has improved.

Heath Evans, NFL Network: The Impact of Revis and Browner on the Patriots Defense

Heath Evans of the NFL Network joins Mut and Lou to talk how Revis and Browner impact the Patriots defense, the Vince Wilfork Situation, and the arms race between Denver and New England

Former Patriot Ty Law with Dale, Holley and Fauria

We talk Revis with his friend and mentor, former Patriot Ty Law.

Wyc Grousbeck, Celtics Ow…

Wyc Grousbeck, Celtics Owner: Reflects on the Boston Marathon tragedy 4-15-4

Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck joins Mut and Merloni to discuss and reflect on the Boston Marathon Bombings a year later.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston, on the Celtics, 4-10-14

Jackie MacMullan talks some Celtics with Mut and Merloni as the season is winding down and the team is positioned to have a high draft pick.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston, discussing Rajon Rondo as a color commentator, the NBA draft, and the epic Pacers-Heat game

Jackie MacMullan of ESPN Boston joins Mut, Lou, and Christian to talk about Rajon Rondo in the booth, the rest of the Celtics losing season, and the epic battle between the Pacers and Heat.

Joe and Dave Postgame wit…

Joe and Dave Postgame with Grady Sizemore 04-11-14

Dave O'Brien and Joe Castiglione talk with Red Sox starting left fielder, Grady Sizemore. grady talks about what it was like to hit a home run off his old teammate, C.C. Sabathia, and his reaction to not seeing Koji on the mound in a save situation.

Dale and Holley: Steve Lyons 4-11-14

Steve Lyons joins Dale and Holley to talk about the Red Sox and Yankees series and Michael Pineda's sticky hand.

Kevin Millar, MLB Network: On Pineda's par tar 4-11-14

Kevin Millar makes his weekly appearance to discuss Michael Pineda's apparent pine tar on his hand, the Red Sox loss to the Yankees, and the team's pitching.

Shawn Thornton on the Red…

Shawn Thornton on the Red Wings 4-15-14

Shawn Thornton joined the show to preview the upcoming series against the Red Wings.

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sports, brings us around the NHL 4-11-14

2 games left in the season and the Bruins are in the driver's seat for the President's Cup which is allowing them to coast and get healthy. Pierre McGuire updates Mut and Lou on the possibility of Seidenberg's return and talks about situations elsewhere in the NHL.

Dale and Holley: Jack Edwards 4-10-14

Jack Edwards talks about the Bruins stretch run to the playoffs and rants about the NCAA.

Shawn Thornton on the Red…

Shawn Thornton on the Red Wings 4-15-14

Shawn Thornton joined the show to preview the Red Wings series and the one year anniversary of the Marathon Bombings.

Headlines Headlines Headlines: Aaron Hernandez in more trouble 4-15-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane. Today the guys discussed Aaron Hernandez getting in more jailhouse trouble.

Boston Strong one year later 4-15-14

Our montage to honor all those impacted by the terrorist attacks one year ago.

Wyc Grousbeck, Celtics Ow…

Wyc Grousbeck, Celtics Owner: Reflects on the Boston Marathon tragedy 4-15-4

Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck joins Mut and Merloni to discuss and reflect on the Boston Marathon Bombings a year later.

Joe Andruzzi, Former Patriots OL: Reflecting on the Boston Marathon, 4-15-14

Joe Andruzzi witnessed the attacks first-hand and sprung into action to help others when the blasts went off on Boylston Street. The former Patriots OL joined the show to discuss and reflect on that day.

Remembering the Boston Marathon Bombing one year later 4-15-14

Mut, Merloni and Christian Fauria reflect on the tragic events on April 15th 2013 at the Boston Marathon and discuss how the city has changed.

Matt Chatham with Dale an…

Matt Chatham with Dale and Holley: Remembering the Boston Marathon Bombing 4-15-14

We speak with Matt Chatham, who re-tells his story from that fateful Monday and looks ahead to brighter things, including this year's marathon.

Reflecting on the One-Year Anniversary of the Boston Marathon Bombing 4-15-14

Dale, Michael and Steve Lyons reflect back on the event last year, and the good that has taken place since then as Boston came together.

David Abel of the Boston Globe : Remembering Martin Richard through the eyes of the Richard family 4-15-14

We speak with David Abel of the Boston Globe, who penned the incredible piece on the Richard Family in this past weekend's Boston Globe.

Rick Middleton joins Plan…

Rick Middleton joins Planet Mikey

Nifty jumps on the Planet for an hour.

Red Sox lose to the Orioles 2-1 on Opening Day

Lou Merloni did play-by-play with Joe Castiglione today and then joined The Planet Mikey Show to talk about what went wrong, and a few things that went right as the Red Sox started their campaign to defend their World Series title.

Chris Price joins John Ryder to talk the Patriots' newest acquisition

WEEI.com's Chris Price joins John Ryder and Chris Villani on Planet Mikey to discuss the signing of Revis Island

Minor Details Ep. 79: The…

Minor Details Ep. 79: The meaning of winning in the minors with Carlos Febles, Evan Lepler

The Red Sox' High-A minor league team in Salem recently had a 16-game winning streak that spanned two seasons. So what? From the standpoint of making prospects better and fostering player development, does that matter? Salem manager Carlos Febles (who managed Salem for the end of their winning streak, but who was also in charge of a 50-87 Single-A Greenville team in 2013) and Salem radio play-by-play man Evan Lepler discuss -- while also touching on a number of prospects in search of the next Earl Weaver and Vinegar Bend Mizell.

WEEI WrestleCast: Wrestlemania 30 recap

Scott and Ben recap WrestleMania 30 and talk about the death of the Ultimate Warrior.

Fantasy Football Offseason Podcast #3

It’s been a busy week across the NFL & with the College Football Draft Hopefuls so Jim Hackett & Pete Davidson plowed through as much as you can handle, including news about The Jets & their interest in Chris Johnson, the LSU Pro Day, rumors and news surrounding free agents & recent signings like Santonio Holmes, DeSean Jackson & Nate Burleson. Then it’s all about the 2014 Rookie Wide Receiver class that just continues to grow and impress. There’s a lot here to keep you informed as the offseason heats up and the draft approaches. Get ready!

Boston Strong one year la…

Boston Strong one year later 4-15-14

Our montage to honor all those impacted by the terrorist attacks one year ago.

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Brad Faxon gives his take…

Brad Faxon gives his take on Bubba Watson capturing his second Green Jacket 4-14-14

Friend of the show, Brad Faxon, checks in to examine all the Masters action and to evaluate Bubba Watson's performance.

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Bruins V. Red Wings in fi…

Bruins V. Red Wings in first round of NHL Playoffs 4-14-14

LB joins Mut and Merloni in studio to preview the Bruins first opponent in the playoffs, the Detroit Red Wings.

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Headlines Headlines Headl…

Headlines Headlines Headlines: Aaron Hernandez in more trouble 4-15-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane. Today the guys discussed Aaron Hernandez getting in more jailhouse trouble.

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