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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
03/22/2011 - 11:55pm
I, for one, am ecstatic that Bruins season is finally about to start.
Jerry Thornton
03/15/2011 - 11:49pm
As we walk through this veil of tears we call life, it’s rare that you ever get to witness perfection. Or anything close to it. Man is an imperfect creature, so it follows that anything designed by the mind of man or built by his hand will be flawed in some way. Even a Persian rug maker will put one crooked stitch in his work because only Allah is perfect.
Jerry Thornton
03/09/2011 - 2:11am
As sad as this is to admit, for the better part of a week I’ve been riveted to what’s been going on with the NFL labor talks. I’ve been one of those devout followers, waiting patiently outside (via television of course) for any sign of progress, like the basic cable equivalent of a pilgrim in Rome looking for white smoke coming out of the Vatican chimney.
Jerry Thornton
03/02/2011 - 1:20am
A week ago, when it was announced the Celtics had traded Kendrick Perkins, reactions varied from “stunned and dismayed” to “shocked but pleased.” I mean, everyone was in agreement they didn&rsqu
Jerry Thornton
02/23/2011 - 12:17am
One thing members of this Red Sox management team are fond of saying — besides “ticket prices will increase” — is that every team comes into every season with an entirely different makeup, an entirely different group dynamic.
Jerry Thornton
02/20/2011 - 12:51pm
Like everyone else I know, I've hit the vast cultural wasteland between the end of the Super Bowl and the start of March Madness full of despair. I mean, at this point in the calendar every winter goes from lousy to sucks.
Jerry Thornton
02/19/2011 - 1:19pm
For all its pockets of effete, blueblooded-snobbery, high tech yuppiness and Ivy League elitism, Boston is still a blue-collar town to the core, especially when it comes to pro sports. For every cardigan-sweatered intellectual with a Kindle full of 'George F.
Jerry Thornton
02/02/2011 - 12:49am
The Super Bowl is more than just a game. And it’s more than America’s great, secular, national holiday. The Super Bowl IS America. It’s big. It’s loud. It’s overblown. It’s preposterous.
Jerry Thornton
01/26/2011 - 1:57am
This past weekend in his Sunday Globe column, Dan Shaughnessy suggested all Patriots fans should join him in rooting for the Jets to win the Super Bowl.
Jerry Thornton
01/19/2011 - 12:21am
I know that if lived in some other city, one where they hate Boston teams and Boston fans — which is to say, every other sports town in America — I know what I’d be doing this week. In the wake of the Patriots’ epic failure. I’d be perusing sites like this one.
Jerry Thornton
01/12/2011 - 2:01am
  If I can start out here with a bit of shameless self-promotion. Some time ago the bosses at WEEI.com asked me if I’d be interested in doing some video for them. The general idea was a man-in-the-street type of thing, interviewing fans at various sporting events. Sort of like Jay Leno’s "Jaywalking" segment, except hopefully entertaining.
Jerry Thornton
01/05/2011 - 2:14am
It’s been said countless times that a football team is a reflection of its coach. And the true genius of your New England Patriots during the reign of Belichick the Conqueror has been the ability to turn lousy opponents into great ones.
Jerry Thornton
12/29/2010 - 12:54am
Even the most casual student of history knows that some years are more significant than others.That some years stand out. You could’ve spent every history class of your life drawing pirate faces on all the presidents and making folded-paper fortune tellers and still absorbed enough general info to associate certain years with certain major historic events.
Jerry Thornton
12/22/2010 - 1:00am
I have a platonic female friend who has everything a woman could ask for: good looks, her health, nice career, great husband, a new baby who’s so cute that looking directly at her could cause temporary blindness. She’s got everything she could want with the exception of me, since I only have eyes for my own Sweet Irish Rose.
Jerry Thornton
12/15/2010 - 12:14am
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I’m a Christmas person. I’m one of those saps who gets all doe-eyed and misty at holiday time. I believe with all my heart the holidays are the time to count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. And for those of who love sports and are lucky enough to live in Boston, our blessings this year are many.
Jerry Thornton
12/07/2010 - 10:05pm
"Is it better to be loved or feared? That’s a good question. It’s great to be both, but it’s very difficult. But if I had my choice, I would rather be feared. Fear lasts longer than love." — Sonny, "A Bronx Tale" "Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta." — Geto Boys
Jerry Thornton
12/01/2010 - 1:50am
It’s not often that Jets fans and shameless, unrepentant, Patriots jammies-wearing suckups like myself have ever agreed on anything. But if there’s one thing we can all sign onto, it’s the hugeness of this week’s game.
Jerry Thornton
11/24/2010 - 2:05am
There can be no doubt that Thanksgiving in the greatest holiday ever invented. There’s minimal shopping involved, no gifts, no wrapping or running around. It consists of nothing but football, drinking, eating to excess, more football and leftovers. Minus a half-dozen lingerie models, it really is the perfect day.
Jerry Thornton
11/17/2010 - 9:38pm
Generally speaking, I consider myself to be a guy with fairly middle-of-the-road, mainstream tastes. The stuff I like tends to be widely popular and the stuff I don’t usually isn’t. I don’t know if that makes me a follower or what, but I do know that typically I’m like a one-man focus group when it comes to gauging what the American public likes.
Jerry Thornton
11/10/2010 - 4:07pm
As anyone who knows me can tell you, I love the Patriots like I love my country: In a completely biased, irrational, jingoistic, my-football-team-right-or-wrong, star-spangled championship banner-waving, “Foxboro: Love It or Leave It” bumper-sticker kind of way.
Jerry Thornton
11/02/2010 - 10:56pm
“Revenge is a dish best served cold”- Old Klingon Proverb (quoted in “Kill Bill, Vol. I)
Jerry Thornton
10/27/2010 - 11:12pm
Dear Brett Favre, Please play against the Patriots this Sunday.  
Jerry Thornton
10/20/2010 - 12:04am
It just wouldn’t be the NFL season without a raging firestorm of controversy.
Jerry Thornton
10/13/2010 - 6:52am
"You can't go back home … to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame … back home to someone who can help you, save you, ease the burden for you, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting.” — Thomas Wolfe
Jerry Thornton
10/08/2010 - 2:09am
“The mind plays tricks on you. You play tricks back! It's like you're unraveling a big cable-knit sweater that someone keeps knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting and knitting!” — “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure”


Audio On Demand

Chris Price, WEEI.com pre…

Chris Price, WEEI.com previews the Pats-Panthers game 8-22-14

Chris Price joins the guys to talk about the upcoming game against the Carolina Panthers.

Patriots LB Jerod Mayo joins MFB, 8-21-14

With the Pats game on Friday night, MFB does a version of Patriots Friday a day early with Jerod Mayo. He talks about the Carolina Panthers.

It Is What It Is Cast: Brandon LaFell, Darrelle Revis and end of training camp

WEEI.com's Chris Price and Mike Petraglia discuss the performances of Brandon LaFell and Darrelle Revis, among others, as Patriots training camp comes to a close.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Bo…

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston, "I think Rondo is going to go, I just don't see where and how yet" 7-17-14

Jackie Mac joins the guys to discuss her thoughts on a possible mid-season tournament in the NBA, LeBron's return to Cleveland, trade rumors with the Celtics and Red Sox, and Darrelle Revis' contract situation.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston: I believe Rondo will be traded 7-10-14

Jackie MacMullan of ESPN Boston to talk about the Lebron James Saga, the possibility of Rajon Rondo being traded, and the future of Marcus Smart.

OK State Men's Basketball coach, Travis Ford, joins MFB to talk about Marcus Smart, 6-30-14

Former coach of Celtics 1st-round pick Marcus Smart, Travis Ford joins MFB to talk about what Celtics fans should expect from the strong point guard. Among other things, Coach Ford says Smart will be a hard worker, and will improve his shooting ability.

Kevin Millar, MLB Network…

Kevin Millar, MLB Network on the Castillo signing 8-22-14

Kevin Millar checks in to talk about the Castillo signing, Giancarlo Stanton, and the MLB's pace of play.

Daniel Nava with Dave O'Brien and Lou Merloni after the win against the Astros

The Sox outfielder joined Dave and Lou after the comeback win, in which he had three hits and knocked in the tying run.

Bradfo Show - NWOA Injury Report, Shane Victorino

On today's Bradfo Show we talk to Dr Ken Polivy, Spine Surgeon at the Newton Wellesley Orthopedic Associates, about Shane Victorino's recent back surgery.

The Bradfo Show: Talking …

The Bradfo Show: Talking Bruins roster moves with DJ Bean, Turtleboy

Rob Bradford is joined by WEEI.com Bruins beat writer DJ Bean, as well as Boston sports fan/blogger Turtleboy to talk all things Bruins free agency. With the B's recent moves, the conversation turns to where the Bruins might next turn and what kind of dent losing Jarome Iginla and Shawn Thornton might make.

DJ Bean breaks down the first hours of NHL Free Agency 7-1-14

DJ discusses Shawn Thornton's new deal, and the on going negotiations with Jerome Iginla

DJ Bean, WEEI.com. The Bruins are not traded Marchand 6-13-14

DJ Bean joins the program to dismiss the recent rumors that the Bruins are in discussions to trade Brad Marchand to the Sharks for Patrick Marleau

Gordon Edes breaks down h…

Gordon Edes breaks down his cryptic Cespedes tweet 8-22-14

ESPN Boston's Gordon Edes joins Dino, Kirk and Buck to explain his cryptic tweet concerning Yoenis Cespedes exiting last night's game.

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: Emmys Preview 8-22-14

The stories of the day brought to you by Kirk Minihane. Today Kirk previews the Emmys before he goes on vacation.

Buck helps us kick-off a Free Form Friday 8-22-14

Dino, Kirk and Buck start with a variety of topics including The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.

Chris Price, WEEI.com pre…

Chris Price, WEEI.com previews the Pats-Panthers game 8-22-14

Chris Price joins the guys to talk about the upcoming game against the Carolina Panthers.

Kevin Millar, MLB Network on the Castillo signing 8-22-14

Kevin Millar checks in to talk about the Castillo signing, Giancarlo Stanton, and the MLB's pace of play.

Three For All: Donald Sterling's Beard 8-22-14

Tom E. Curran, CSNNE, Pre…

Tom E. Curran, CSNNE, Previews Pats/Panthers 8-22-14

Tom E Curran joins the show to talk about Pats/Panthers and the latest news coming out of training camp.

Michael Irvin joins Dale and Holley 8-22-14

Michael Irvin joins the show to talk Pats/Panthers and Johnny Manziel.

Ben Badler from Baseball America - Rusney Castillo

Ben Badler joins the show to talk about his experience watching Rusney Castillo play.

Jim Koch joins Planet Mik…

Jim Koch joins Planet Mikey

Co-founder and chairman of the Boston Beer Company, Jim Koch, talks about his Sam Adams beer and the history of his brewery.

Danny Picard talks Red Sox and Patriots with Mike Giardi

Danny picard is filling in for Mikey and talks with CSNNE's Mike Giardi about Clay Buchholz heading up the Red Sox pitching rotation, and how the Patriots have looked through training camp so far.

Jon Lester's Contract Situation and the Future

Mut and Villani are talking about whether the Red Sox will give Jon Lester the type of contract he is looking for, or whether they might be shopping him with rumors of the Red Sox scouting Cole Hamels.

Fantasy Football Podcast:…

Fantasy Football Podcast: High Value Targets

Fantasy Football Drafts are now happening every day, so Pete Davidson and Jim Hackett have you covered. This Podcast focuses on the High Value Targets you can get in your drafts if you draft smartly. These players can slip to you and make a great impact on your roster as the season moves on. The draft is won in the middle to late rounds when the best upside players are taken. Jim and Pete give you in depth analysis on the High Value Targets to seek along with the Rookies that can make an impact this year. Jim and Pete will be back this Sunday morning too, on-air at WEEI FM 93.7 with even more. Prepare and enjoy!

NWOA Injury Report - Shane Victorino

On today's Bradfo Show we talk to Dr Ken Polivy, Spine Surgeon at the Newton Wellesley Orthopedic Associates, about Shane Victorino's recent back surgery.

Little League World Series Podcast 8-21-14

Sam Packard and Zach Geld provide a thrilling and dynamic recap of the LLWS so far and prepare you for this weekend's games.

D&C - Former Red Sox Pitc…

D&C - Former Red Sox Pitcher Curt Schilling

Former Pitcher for the Boston Red Sox and World Series Champion Curt Schilling joined the Jimmy Fund Radio Telethon to talk about his experiences with cancer. Curt was joined by Dr. Haddad. He revealed that, in February, he was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma, a cancer of the mouth. He attributes his mouth cancer to his use of chewing tobacco throughout his playing career.

More from this show

Gordon Edes breaks down h…

Gordon Edes breaks down his cryptic Cespedes tweet 8-22-14

ESPN Boston's Gordon Edes joins Dino, Kirk and Buck to explain his cryptic tweet concerning Yoenis Cespedes exiting last night's game.

More from this show

Curt Schilling reveals th…

Curt Schilling reveals the source of his cancer, 8-21-14

Speaking at the WEEI NESN Jimmy Fund Radio Telethon with Dennis and Callahan, Curt Schilling revealed that he had mouth cancer, a form called squamous cell carcinoma. He blames his use of smokeless tobacco and says it is his biggest regret in life. This revelation has sparked debate about whether MLB should ban the use of all tobacco.

More from this show

Headlines, Headlines, Hea…

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: Montana stripper 8-21-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

More from this show

Is predicting an 11-5 rec…

Is predicting an 11-5 record for the New England Patriots being pessimistic?

Greg Dickerson, Jerry Thornton and Rob Bradford fill for Dale and Holley, and the 2014 Patriots debate is in full swing.

More from this show

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