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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
02/01/2012 - 2:40am
Abandon all hope, ye Patriots fans
Jerry Thornton
01/18/2012 - 1:23am
The negativity in this town STILL sucks
“A mind that is anxious about the future is miserable.” -- Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger “Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but in a positive way.” -- Wedding Crashers Rule No. 6
Jerry Thornton
01/04/2012 - 1:36am
The Patriots Way should never be in doubt
It turns out reports of the death of the Patriots Way were greatly exaggerated.
Jerry Thornton
12/21/2011 - 10:35am
2011 Unsportsmen of the Year
One man’s annual countdown of the biggest miscreants, jerks, psychos, losers, mental defectives, morons, habitual criminal offenders, dirtbags and nitwits of the year: 10. The Miami Heat
Jerry Thornton
12/07/2011 - 1:11am
The Patriots defense and other Boston patience-testers
You know, you’d think that with us not being all that far removed from the days when Boston was “Loserville,” we’d all just be able to appreciate winning just for its own sake. That we wouldn’t worry about the manner in which we won or style points or any of that nonsense. That only the scoreboard would matter.
Jerry Thornton
11/23/2011 - 2:32am
Digging deep to find Bill Belichick's defensive plan
It’s gone without saying all season that the Patriots pass defense hasn’t been very good. In fact since they came out of the gate, the Pats have been called the consensus worst defense in the NFL --  32nd in the league against the pass, 32nd in the league overall. 
Jerry Thornton
11/09/2011 - 1:26am
Should the Patriots get meaner?
Despite the fact that I’m an unapologetic Patriots homer, I have to confess that like most people, I, too, am starting to have serious concerns about where this team is headed.
Jerry Thornton
10/25/2011 - 10:52pm
Letters to Theo
“Lost in the cacophony of the last few weeks is the fact that the Boston Red Sox remain one of the preeminent organizations in baseball, with an extremely bright future.
Jerry Thornton
10/14/2011 - 1:08pm
Boston doesn't do the 'uncriticizable athlete' thing
I've always considered there to be seven categories of pro sports athletic achievement. In ascending order of accomplishment: -- All-Star/Pro Bowler -- First Team All-Star/All-Pro -- League MVP -- Team Hall/Wall/Ring of Fame -- Hall of Famer
Jerry Thornton
09/28/2011 - 12:18am
Last week a reminder of bad old days for Boston sports fans
The month of September has been one of the worst in recent memories for the Boston sports fan. The Red Sox are on the verge of what might end up being the worst late-season implosion in baseball history. The Patriots blew a 21-0 lead in Buffalo. And even while they were going 2-0, the Pats showed a defense so soft it should have a sponsorship deal with memory foam pillows.
Jerry Thornton
09/14/2011 - 8:36pm
It's clear that Brady and the Patriots have just one thing on their minds
Shameless Patriots fanboy that I am, I have a Pats postgame routine that I follow. When they win a game, particularly when they win big the way they did Monday night in Miami, I stick around afterward and watch as much of the wrap-up and analysis as I possibly can. From the first on-the-field reactions to the press conferences to what the empty suits behind the desk think to the Jerry Springer-like final words while the janitor is in the background sweeping up after all the reporters, I just can't get enough.
Jerry Thornton
09/02/2011 - 10:50am
Where are all the Jacoby Ellsbury critics now?
Let's start with a quiz. The category is Boston sports and the media.
Jerry Thornton
08/18/2011 - 12:23am
Bill Belichick’s football Match.com profile
When it comes to women, every guy has a “type.” Greater minds than mine — from Aristotle to DaVinci to Hugh Hefner — have pondered the question “What is beauty?” and not come up with an objective answer. But there’s no question that different guys go for different things. I go for Kate Beckinsale. You like Kate Bosworth. Another guy likes Kate Middleton.
Jerry Thornton
08/04/2011 - 10:44pm
When bad people happen to good teams
Jerry Thornton
07/20/2011 - 12:55am
Parallels with Potter something to think about for Boston fans
Confession time. I’m sure those of you who’ve read my column before, heard me on WEEI and watched the Fanthropology videos I’ve done for this site just naturally assume I’m about the most suave, sophisticated guy in Boston.
Jerry Thornton
07/06/2011 - 9:31am
One Red Sox fan's charges against Roger Clemens
Let's be honest: Sportswise, this isn't shaping up to be the best summer ever. Maybe it's just the post-Stanley Cup hangover talking. Moving past the hockey season is proving to be one of those half-a-bottle-of-Bayer-plus-some-hair-of-the-dog brain killer.
Jerry Thornton
06/29/2011 - 11:00am
For once, a Boston Tradition that lives up to the name
Without a doubt, “tradition” is one of the most grossly overused words in the English language. We use it to describe everything from the changing of the guards at the Tomb of the Unknowns to the mayor of Punxsutawny pulling a giant rat out of the ground every February 2nd. My own in-laws use it to justify their passive-aggressive displays of disapproval of me during every major holiday.
Jerry Thornton
06/22/2011 - 12:28am
Why We Win
“Boston loves a winner. And will not tolerate a loser. Bostonians play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed ... because the very thought of losing is hateful to Massholes.” --Patton (edited somewhat by me)
Jerry Thornton
06/07/2011 - 11:57pm
Canucks misdeeds have sparked new wave of passion in Bruins fans
That peculiar sound you’ve been hearing the last month-and-a-half or so has been the anguished sound of a generation of Boston sports media having to re-acquaint themselves with how to pay attention to the Bruins. It’s been a great disturbance in the Force.
Jerry Thornton
05/25/2011 - 8:54am
Time to give Claude Julien respect he deserves
Like I’ve admitted here before, I’m new to this business of being all wrapped up in the Bruins. Or to put it more accurately, I’m one of the hundreds of thousands of Bostonians who followed the Bruins closely but eventually jumped ship.
Jerry Thornton
05/11/2011 - 12:33am
An orientation for Pink Hat Bruins fans
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the seminar. I’m handing out the information packet we’ll be using, so if you could just take one and pass the rest to person behind you, we can get started.
Jerry Thornton
04/27/2011 - 5:43am
Ten reasons to be glad you're a Bruins fan Wednesday night
Somehow, you just knew from the puck drop in Game 1 that “Bruins-Canadiens Part XXXIII: This Time, It's Personal” was going to come down to a Game 7. And while I have every hope and faith it's going to go well Wednesday night and the Bruins will move on, it's still worth pointing out that I'd rather be us than them.
Jerry Thornton
04/13/2011 - 12:56am
Breaking down the Manny Scale
It’s rare in this life that you get to see the kind of justice we were treated to this week watching Manny Ramirez’ baseball career end in disgrace. There couldn’t be a more appropriate ending than to see him slink away from the game like the coward he is.
Jerry Thornton
04/05/2011 - 11:24pm
Taking a spin around the world of sports
This is without a doubt my favorite four-week stretch of the year.
Jerry Thornton
03/30/2011 - 1:12am
When it comes to great offseasons, Theo ranks near the top
“I’d like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay payroll.


Audio On Demand

Pete Prisco Tim Tebow can…

Pete Prisco Tim Tebow cant play

Pete joined the show to discuss Tebow's signing with the Patriots. He said that Tim Tebow cant play and that he has trouble learning NFL playbooks.

It Is What It Is Cast, Jeff Howe

On this episode of the It Is What It Is Cast, Chris Price talks with the Boston Herald's Jeff P Howe about the Patriots offseason, Rob Gronkowski's back surgery, Danny Amendola replacing Wes Welker, and how this seasons team will stack up against last seasons.

It Is What Is Cast: Injury Expert Will Carroll

In the latest edition of the It Is What It Is Cast, Chris Price talks with Will Carroll. Injury expert and lead writer for Sports Medicine, Bleacher Report. They talk about the injury to Rob Gronkowski and what his back surgery could mean for his season.

Jeff Van Gundy on Doc and…

Jeff Van Gundy on Doc and the Celtics

Jeff joined the show to discuss the rumors of Doc heading to the Clippers. Jeff said that he will not discuss his future but that his brother would be a great candidate anywhere.

Stephen A. Smith on Doc to the Clippers

Stephen A. joined the show to discuss the status of trade negotiations between the Clippers and the Celtics. Stephen said that it is a 50-50 proposition that Doc ends up in Los Angeles.

"Celtics Summer Cooler" With Sean Grande and Cedric Maxwell - Hour 2

Grande and Max take more calls on the Celtics and discuss what lies ahead for Doc Rivers with Steve Bulpett.

Red Sox Manager John Farr…

Red Sox Manager John Farrell with Salk and Holley

We check in with Red Sox skipper John Farrell for our weekly Sox update and get the latest on the injury to Clay Buchholz, and a whole lot more.

John Farrell postgame press conference

John Farrell postgame press conference

Jonny Gomes postgame with Joe & Dave after the second Rays game

Joe & Dave talked to the Sox outfielder, who pounded the ball out of the park to win the second game of the doubleheader against the Rays.

Shawn Thornton on D&C: St…

Shawn Thornton on D&C: Still anybody's series

The Bruins have looked quite good taking a 2-1 lead on the Blackhawks, but Shawn Thornton says the team is not getting ahead of itself. Thornton also talks about what makes Patrice Bergeron such a great player and teammate. He also squeezes in a few shots at his friend Keegan Bradley.

Pierre McGuire, NBC Sports, on the Stanley Cup Finals

Pierre McGuire joins Mut and Merloni after a Bruins win and discusses the play of Rask and the defense, the Hossa injury, and Jagr.

Tony Amonte, CSNNE: on Hossa injury

Tony Amonte calls out Marian Hossa for missing Game 3 and recaps the Bruins win.

Shawn Thornton on D&C: St…

Shawn Thornton on D&C: Still anybody's series

The Bruins have looked quite good taking a 2-1 lead on the Blackhawks, but Shawn Thornton says the team is not getting ahead of itself. Thornton also talks about what makes Patrice Bergeron such a great player and teammate. He also squeezes in a few shots at his friend Keegan Bradley.

Keegan Bradley joins D&C live at the Travelers Championship in Connecticut

Keegan Bradley hopped on the set in Connecticut with D&C to talk some golf, but seeing as how he's a big Boston sports fan, the interview covered a lot of ground. You can hear Keegan talk about the Bruins' Cup chances, the Doc Rivers deal that almost was, and Shawn Thornton's lacking golf game.

SI's Michael McCann breaks down the Aaron Hernandez situation

Legal expert Michael McCann joined D&C to take on the topic of the day: Just what exactly is happening with Aaron Hernandez? McCann addressed Hernandez' lack of cooperation in the investigation so far, and how that may play out as the case moves along.

LB talks Bruins Blackhawk…

LB talks Bruins Blackhawks in studio

LB joins Mut and Merloni and discusses the Stanley Cup Finals and takes phone calls from listeners.

Mut and Merloni respond to the Boston Herald

Despite many other important newsworthy items, the Boston Herald decided it was appropriate to put a story about Mut and Lou sending a vulgar cake to a Chicago radio station on the front page of today’s paper. Mut and Merloni respond, make it clear it was just a good natured joke and not meant to offend anyone.

Buster Olney, ESPN, on the struggles of Andrew Bailey

Buster joins the program to discuss the problems of Andrew Bailey, what closers are available in the market, the Buchholz injury, and the latest in the biogensis scandal.

Aaron Hernandez questione…

Aaron Hernandez questioned in murder probe: Is the 'Patriot Way' a thing of the past?

We talk about the developing Aaron Hernandez story line and look at it from the context of 'the Patriot Way', the theory that the Patriots only deal with high character athletes. Is that Patriot way gone? Did it ever even exist? We discuss.

An hour with Jack Edwards: Blackhawks will not go down without a fight

We check in with Jack Edwards live on location for an hour of Stanley Cup preview. Jack warns us all not to get overconfident, the Bruins haven't won anything yet.

NHL Network's Kathryn Tappen with Salk and Holley

We talk pucks with the lovely and talented Kathryn Tappen of the NHL Network and preview game 4 of the Stanley Cup final and beyond.

Bernie Carbo

Bernie Carbo

Mikey gets a surprise call from Red Sox legend Bernie Carbo. They talk about old-time baseball and Bernie's new book.

Tom Bean and Luke Poling, producers, writers and directors of 'Plimpton!'

Mikey talks with Tom and Luke about their new movie, "Plimpton!" and finds out what it was like to try to encapsulate everything George Plimpton accomplished during his life.

Daily Planet, Friday May 31st

Today on the Daily Planet, the Red Sox and Yankees face off in the Bronx, Claude Julien doesn't want players wasting energy, and Dwight Howard and free agency.

Salk and Holley's Answer …

Salk and Holley's Answer the Question - 06/19/13

You ask us, we answer it. Or you ask Jack, he answers it.

Salk and Holley's Answer the Question - 06/17/13

You ask, we answer. Today featuring NESN's Jack Edwards.

Salk and Holley's Answer the Question - 06/13/13

The new way we end the show. You ask, we answer.

Stephen A. Smith on Doc t…

Stephen A. Smith on Doc to the Clippers

Stephen A. joined the show to discuss the status of trade negotiations between the Clippers and the Celtics. Stephen said that it is a 50-50 proposition that Doc ends up in Los Angeles.

More from this show

Shawn Thornton on the Gam…

Shawn Thornton on the Game 2 win

Shawn joined the show to discuss the Bruins' OT win in Chicago. Shawn said that there was a heated discussion during the first intermission Saturday night in Chicago after the team's poor first period.

More from this show

Is Doc a goner?

Is Doc a goner?

The guys opened the show discussing the rumors regarding Doc Rivers being part of a deal between the Celtics and the Clippers.

More from this show

Minor Details Ep. 55: Xan…

Minor Details Ep. 55: Xander Bogaerts and Anthony Ranaudo

Both Xander Bogaerts and Anthony Ranaudo punctuated their strong 2013 seasons with head-turning events on June 13. On that day, Bogaerts, the Red Sox' top prospect, was promoted from Double-A Portland Pawtucket, with the 20-year-old becoming one of the youngest position players in the affiliate's history. On that same day, right-hander Anthony Ranaudo punched out 13 batters for Double-A Portland, the most strikeouts by a Red Sox minor leaguer since Jon Lester in 2005. They joined Minor Details to discuss both those accomplishments and their seasons to date.

More from this show

SI's Michael McCann break…

SI's Michael McCann breaks down the Aaron Hernandez situation

Legal expert Michael McCann joined D&C to take on the topic of the day: Just what exactly is happening with Aaron Hernandez? McCann addressed Hernandez' lack of cooperation in the investigation so far, and how that may play out as the case moves along.

More from this show

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