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About Jerry Thornton

Jerry Thornton is a standup comic who has been working the New England comedy club circuit since back when Tiger Woods was passing very dirty notes in grade school. He won the Boston Comedy Riot competition, appeared in HBO's "Curse of the Bambino," has written for Cold, Hard Football Facts.com and is a frequent co-host of the Planet Mikey Show. Jerry also can be read daily on BarstoolSports.com, writing under the very imaginative online pseudonym "Jerry Thornton."

 
COLUMNS
Jerry Thornton
02/01/2012 - 2:40am
Four years ago this week leading up to the Super Bowl That Shall Not Be Named, I published an article in the paper edition of Barstool Sports about how I hate the New York Giants, why I hate the
Jerry Thornton
01/18/2012 - 1:23am
“A mind that is anxious about the future is miserable.” -- Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger “Do not sit in the corner and sulk. It draws attention a negative way. Draw attention to yourself, but in a positive way.” -- Wedding Crashers Rule No. 6
Jerry Thornton
01/04/2012 - 1:36am
It turns out reports of the death of the Patriots Way were greatly exaggerated.
Jerry Thornton
12/21/2011 - 10:35am
One man’s annual countdown of the biggest miscreants, jerks, psychos, losers, mental defectives, morons, habitual criminal offenders, dirtbags and nitwits of the year: 10. The Miami Heat
Jerry Thornton
12/07/2011 - 1:11am
You know, you’d think that with us not being all that far removed from the days when Boston was “Loserville,” we’d all just be able to appreciate winning just for its own sake. That we wouldn’t worry about the manner in which we won or style points or any of that nonsense. That only the scoreboard would matter.
Jerry Thornton
11/23/2011 - 2:32am
It’s gone without saying all season that the Patriots pass defense hasn’t been very good. In fact since they came out of the gate, the Pats have been called the consensus worst defense in the NFL --  32nd in the league against the pass, 32nd in the league overall. 
Jerry Thornton
11/09/2011 - 1:26am
Despite the fact that I’m an unapologetic Patriots homer, I have to confess that like most people, I, too, am starting to have serious concerns about where this team is headed.
Jerry Thornton
10/25/2011 - 10:52pm
“Lost in the cacophony of the last few weeks is the fact that the Boston Red Sox remain one of the preeminent organizations in baseball, with an extremely bright future.
Jerry Thornton
10/14/2011 - 1:08pm
I've always considered there to be seven categories of pro sports athletic achievement. In ascending order of accomplishment: -- All-Star/Pro Bowler -- First Team All-Star/All-Pro -- League MVP -- Team Hall/Wall/Ring of Fame -- Hall of Famer -- Number Retired -- Statue Worthy
Jerry Thornton
09/28/2011 - 12:18am
The month of September has been one of the worst in recent memories for the Boston sports fan. The Red Sox are on the verge of what might end up being the worst late-season implosion in baseball history. The Patriots blew a 21-0 lead in Buffalo.
Jerry Thornton
09/14/2011 - 8:36pm
Shameless Patriots fanboy that I am, I have a Pats postgame routine that I follow. When they win a game, particularly when they win big the way they did Monday night in Miami, I stick around afterward and watch as much of the wrap-up and analysis as I possibly can.
Jerry Thornton
09/02/2011 - 10:50am
Let's start with a quiz. The category is Boston sports and the media.
Jerry Thornton
08/18/2011 - 12:23am
When it comes to women, every guy has a “type.” Greater minds than mine — from Aristotle to DaVinci to Hugh Hefner — have pondered the question “What is beauty?” and not come up with an objective answer. But there’s no question that different guys go for different things. I go for Kate Beckinsale. You like Kate Bosworth.
Jerry Thornton
08/04/2011 - 10:44pm
New Patriots defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth is one of those players you could describe by saying (spins the cliché wheel): “His troubles are well documented.” At least I can say it because I spend a good chunk of time last year documenting them. Well, I hope.
Jerry Thornton
07/20/2011 - 12:55am
Confession time. I’m sure those of you who’ve read my column before, heard me on WEEI and watched the Fanthropology videos I’ve done for this site just naturally assume I’m about the most suave, sophisticated guy in Boston.
Jerry Thornton
07/06/2011 - 9:31am
Let's be honest: Sportswise, this isn't shaping up to be the best summer ever. Maybe it's just the post-Stanley Cup hangover talking. Moving past the hockey season is proving to be one of those half-a-bottle-of-Bayer-plus-some-hair-of-the-dog brain killer.
Jerry Thornton
06/29/2011 - 11:00am
Without a doubt, “tradition” is one of the most grossly overused words in the English language. We use it to describe everything from the changing of the guards at the Tomb of the Unknowns to the mayor of Punxsutawny pulling a giant rat out of the ground every February 2nd.
Jerry Thornton
06/22/2011 - 12:28am
“Boston loves a winner. And will not tolerate a loser. Bostonians play to win all the time. I wouldn’t give a hoot in hell for a man who lost and laughed ... because the very thought of losing is hateful to Massholes.” --Patton (edited somewhat by me)
Jerry Thornton
06/07/2011 - 11:57pm
That peculiar sound you’ve been hearing the last month-and-a-half or so has been the anguished sound of a generation of Boston sports media having to re-acquaint themselves with how to pay attention to the Bruins. It’s been a great disturbance in the Force. As if dozens of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced into writing Bruins game reports.
Jerry Thornton
05/25/2011 - 8:54am
Like I’ve admitted here before, I’m new to this business of being all wrapped up in the Bruins. Or to put it more accurately, I’m one of the hundreds of thousands of Bostonians who followed the Bruins closely but eventually jumped ship.
Jerry Thornton
05/11/2011 - 12:33am
Good morning, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the seminar. I’m handing out the information packet we’ll be using, so if you could just take one and pass the rest to person behind you, we can get started.
Jerry Thornton
04/27/2011 - 5:43am
Somehow, you just knew from the puck drop in Game 1 that “Bruins-Canadiens Part XXXIII: This Time, It's Personal” was going to come down to a Game 7. And while I have every hope and faith it's going to go well Wednesday night and the Bruins will move on, it's still worth pointing out that I'd rather be us than them.
Jerry Thornton
04/13/2011 - 12:56am
It’s rare in this life that you get to see the kind of justice we were treated to this week watching Manny Ramirez’ baseball career end in disgrace. There couldn’t be a more appropriate ending than to see him slink away from the game like the coward he is.
Jerry Thornton
04/05/2011 - 11:24pm
This is without a doubt my favorite four-week stretch of the year.
Jerry Thornton
03/30/2011 - 1:12am
“I’d like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay payroll.


Audio On Demand

Christopher Price - New d…

Christopher Price - New drug policy will not shorten Browner and Tyms suspension, 9-17-14

Christopher Price, WEEI.com spoke with the guys about the new NFL drug policy and what it means for certain players in the league. He also spoke about the importance of getting Danny Amendola involved in the offense. The Patriots are still trying to find the BEST way to utilize Chandler Jones. And rookie Raiders QB Derek Carr is a bit of a wild-card heading into Sunday's match up.

It Is What It Is Cast: Patriots prepare for home opener vs. Raiders

WEEI.com's Mike Petraglia and Chris Price preview the Patriots' home opener against the Oakland Raiders, a team they should beat without too much trouble.

Inside the NFL : Peter King with Dale and Holley

We check in with Peter King from SI/MMQB for our weekly look at the National Football League and more.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Bo…

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston, "I think Rondo is going to go, I just don't see where and how yet" 7-17-14

Jackie Mac joins the guys to discuss her thoughts on a possible mid-season tournament in the NBA, LeBron's return to Cleveland, trade rumors with the Celtics and Red Sox, and Darrelle Revis' contract situation.

Jackie MacMullan, ESPN Boston: I believe Rondo will be traded 7-10-14

Jackie MacMullan of ESPN Boston to talk about the Lebron James Saga, the possibility of Rajon Rondo being traded, and the future of Marcus Smart.

OK State Men's Basketball coach, Travis Ford, joins MFB to talk about Marcus Smart, 6-30-14

Former coach of Celtics 1st-round pick Marcus Smart, Travis Ford joins MFB to talk about what Celtics fans should expect from the strong point guard. Among other things, Coach Ford says Smart will be a hard worker, and will improve his shooting ability.

Sox Manager John Farrell …

Sox Manager John Farrell with Dale and Holley

As the season winds down, We check in Sox skipper John Farrell as we await the Boston debut of Rusney Castillo.

Buster Olney, ESPN, talks Orioles, Red Sox offense, and David Ortiz, 9-17-14

The Orioles seemed to have a lot of fun last night clinching the AL East. Buster said the biggest problem for Boston this year was the offense production dropping so dramatically in one year. Bogaerts, Pierzynski, and Bradley Jr. are the most obvious culprits. Also, Buster surmises that the Red Sox front office has to be a little uneasy with the fact that their best offensive player, David Ortiz, is in this LATE 30's.

Xander Bogaerts with Joe & Dave after the last game of the series in Kansas City

Joe & Dave talked to the Sox rookie shortstop, who hit a 3-run homer in the 8-4 win.

The Bradfo Show: Talking …

The Bradfo Show: Talking Bruins roster moves with DJ Bean, Turtleboy

Rob Bradford is joined by WEEI.com Bruins beat writer DJ Bean, as well as Boston sports fan/blogger Turtleboy to talk all things Bruins free agency. With the B's recent moves, the conversation turns to where the Bruins might next turn and what kind of dent losing Jarome Iginla and Shawn Thornton might make.

DJ Bean breaks down the first hours of NHL Free Agency 7-1-14

DJ discusses Shawn Thornton's new deal, and the on going negotiations with Jerome Iginla

DJ Bean, WEEI.com. The Bruins are not traded Marchand 6-13-14

DJ Bean joins the program to dismiss the recent rumors that the Bruins are in discussions to trade Brad Marchand to the Sharks for Patrick Marleau

Jim Souhan on Adrian Pete…

Jim Souhan on Adrian Peterson 9-17-14

Jim Souhan of the Minneapolis Star Tribune on Adrian Peterson.

Headlines, Headlines, Headlines: Everett gets a casino 9-17-14

The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

Adrian Peterson finally reprimanded 9-17-14

The guys react to the Adrian Peterson news.

Buster Olney, ESPN, talks…

Buster Olney, ESPN, talks Orioles, Red Sox offense, and David Ortiz, 9-17-14

The Orioles seemed to have a lot of fun last night clinching the AL East. Buster said the biggest problem for Boston this year was the offense production dropping so dramatically in one year. Bogaerts, Pierzynski, and Bradley Jr. are the most obvious culprits. Also, Buster surmises that the Red Sox front office has to be a little uneasy with the fact that their best offensive player, David Ortiz, is in this LATE 30's.

Christopher Price - New drug policy will not shorten Browner and Tyms suspension, 9-17-14

Christopher Price, WEEI.com spoke with the guys about the new NFL drug policy and what it means for certain players in the league. He also spoke about the importance of getting Danny Amendola involved in the offense. The Patriots are still trying to find the BEST way to utilize Chandler Jones. And rookie Raiders QB Derek Carr is a bit of a wild-card heading into Sunday's match up.

Three For All - Lolo Jones is a horrible dancer, 9-17-14

LeBron James will be starring in a movie as... LeBron James. TMZ reveals PHOTOS of Danielle Watts having sex with her boyfriend in broad daylight. Lolo Jones is an awkward, bad, excuse-making dancer.

Did the NFL cave because …

Did the NFL cave because of sponsors and their money, or are the sponsors hypocritical too?

We discuss the NFL's moves to put Adrian Peterson and Greg Hardy on a 'reserve/Commissioner's exemption' list. Is it because of threats from paying sponsors? Or are the sponsors themselves bathing in hypocrisy?

John Farrell speaks with Dale and Holley about the Red Sox debut for Rusney Castillo

As the season winds down, We check in Sox skipper John Farrell as we await the Boston debut of Rusney Castillo.

UNH Law Professor Michael McCann speaks to Dale and Holley about the NFL's ongoing legal cases with Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice

We check in with the great Michael McCann for his insight on the latest legal developments for the NFL.

Jim Koch joins Planet Mik…

Jim Koch joins Planet Mikey

Co-founder and chairman of the Boston Beer Company, Jim Koch, talks about his Sam Adams beer and the history of his brewery.

Danny Picard talks Red Sox and Patriots with Mike Giardi

Danny picard is filling in for Mikey and talks with CSNNE's Mike Giardi about Clay Buchholz heading up the Red Sox pitching rotation, and how the Patriots have looked through training camp so far.

Jon Lester's Contract Situation and the Future

Mut and Villani are talking about whether the Red Sox will give Jon Lester the type of contract he is looking for, or whether they might be shopping him with rumors of the Red Sox scouting Cole Hamels.

Dennis & Callahan's Break…

Dennis & Callahan's Breaking Balls Podcast: The NFL's hot mess, Jenny Dell and who has bad breath.

Dennis, Callahan and Minihane make their podcast debut. This week's topics include Adrian Peterson, Greg Hardy, Jenny Dell and some discussion on people we've encountered with the worst breath.

Minor Details Ep. 100: A minor centennial with Rob Bradford, Mike Hazen and Jim Callis

The 100th Minor Details podcast revisits some old friends, as WEEI.com's Rob Bradford, Red Sox assistant GM Mike Hazen and MLB.com prospect guru Jim Callis, who were the guests on the first show in November 2010, join the show anew.

The Bradfo Show: Everything you need to know about Dustin Pedroia's surgery

Rob Bradford is joined by Dr. Evan Schumer of Newton Wellesley Orthopaediac Associates to discuss exactly what kind of surgery was performed on Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia, the recovery time that accompanies such a procedure and why the operation might be just what the doctored ordered.

Tom Brady on the week two…

Tom Brady on the week two win 9-15-14

Tom Brady joined the show to discuss the week two win.

More from this show

Rodney Harrison chooses n…

Rodney Harrison chooses not to comment on Adrian Peterson, 9-16-14

Former Patriot and current NBC Sports Analyst, Rodney Harrison talks about how bad the Pats looked in a convincing win. The guys also tried to get him to talk about the Adrian Peterson accusations and he refused.

More from this show

Tim Hasselbeck on Adrian …

Tim Hasselbeck on Adrian Peterson 9-15-14

Tim Hasselbeck on week two in the NFL and the Adrian Peterson mess.

More from this show

Dennis & Callahan's Break…

Dennis & Callahan's Breaking Balls Podcast: The NFL's hot mess, Jenny Dell and who has bad breath.

Dennis, Callahan and Minihane make their podcast debut. This week's topics include Adrian Peterson, Greg Hardy, Jenny Dell and some discussion on people we've encountered with the worst breath.

More from this show

Breaking Balls Podcast: T…

Breaking Balls Podcast: The NFL's hot mess, Jenny Dell and who has bad breath.

Dennis, Callahan and Minihane make their podcast debut. This week's topics include Adrian Peterson, Greg Hardy, Jenny Dell and some discussion on people we've encountered with the worst breath.

More from this show

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