The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.

[0:05:10] ... at it you know always not it's. Policing the taxpayers. Or as. Deval Patrick calls it just an anecdote an interest and -- anecdote globe get there eventually it'll play catchup you know get to work ...
[0:05:49] ... weekend in Italy Linksys finally -- so I was back on now. Governor Deval Patrick insisted yesterday he has no intention of taking. Attorney general Eric holder's job acknowledging yesterday before and off to Washington DC to appear before the Congressional Black Caucus and he's been in ...
[0:06:35] ... no plans and no interest in making plans to be the next attorney general for not gonna see you working for this president's administration. -- -- I don't anticipate that no. At this time to -- ...
[0:11:54] ... com -- attended the year -- environment alone you know. Leader -- Al Gore's were a hundred -- it's true that is true. The great one of the green boxes yes all time headlines brought you ...

The guys opened the show by discussing Derek Jeter's final performance in the Bronx.

Here are the highlights from Friday’s Headlines on Dennis & Callahan with Kirk Minihane, John Dennis and Gerry Callahan. To hear the segment, go to the Dennis & Callahan audio on demand page.

– Five weeks ago, a Haverhill man bought a winning $1 million lottery ticket. Earlier this week, police raided Gary L. Bond’s house and found cocaine, marijuana, EBT cards, a machete and brass knuckles. He was charged for cocaine and marijuana possession as well as trafficking.

His wife, Fritzlaine Liautaud, faced the same charges, but posted her and Bond’s bail earlier this week.

Said Callahan: “It’s one thing to get caught, you got caught. You’re a liar, you’re a cheater, you’re stealing from the taxpayers, you’re dealing drugs. But then there’s this indignation. How dare you?”

Continued Callahan: “How is he given an EBT card? You walk in the [welfare] office, and they just say, ‘Here you go’?”

Replied a sarcastic Dennis: “His back hurts, Gerry. He can’t work and provide for his family.”

Said Minihane: “So I can go get one?”

– Governor Deval Patrick said Thursday that he has no intention of succeeding Eric Holder as attorney general. Many have speculated a role for Patrick in the Barack Obama administration, especially since Patrick is going on a trip to Washington, but Patrick continued to deny it.

“Wouldn’t it be a lot fun to hang out with Obama and Patrick?” Minihane asked. “Go play 18 with them?”

Said Callahan: “I was just hoping he’d take the gig and go before the Senate and get out of our lives.”

– A Canadian man unsuccessfully attempted to smuggle 51 live turtles over the Detroit border and into Canada when he taped the reptiles to his body. Kai Xu tried to put the turtles under his sweatpants, but he was caught by agents near the border.

Asked Dennis: “How big were the turtles?”

Replied Minihane: “They’re like those little snapping turtles.”

Said Dennis: “Well, you’ve got to be careful then, if they’€™re snapping turtles. Like, where you put them in your sweatpants.”

– Robert Kennedy Jr. and new wife Cheryl Hines recently purchased a $5 million home in Malibu, California. The house was bought from award-winning composer David Kurtz.

Callahan didn’t have many nice things to say about Kennedy.

“All you need to know about Robert Kennedy Jr. is he’s been called the dumbest Kennedy,” Callahan said.

Blog Author: 
Andrew Battifarano

Here are the highlights from Tuesday’s Three for All on Middays with MFB with Lou Merloni, Christian Fauria and Tim Benz. To hear the segment, go to the MFB audio on demand page.

– The Comedy Central show “South Park” took aim at the Washington Redskins in Wednesday night’s season premiere, making fun of the team for keeping the nickname despite protests that it’s racially offensive.

The hosts were impressed that the show took out injured quarterback Robert Griffin III, who had appeared in the promos, and quickly replaced him with Kirk Cousins.

At the end of the episode, the players quit the team in protest and team owner Dan Snyder takes to the field himself to play the Cowboys and is massacred.

“Dan Snyder became the hero at the end of the episode,” Benz said. “The owners looked bad, [Roger] Goodell looked bad, the entire NFL looked bad, they made fun of Ray Rice, [but] they made Dan Snyder into the sympathetic figure. That was my favorite part about it.”

– A Peruvian woman claims the popular Disney movie “Frozen” is based on her life story and she is suing for $250 million. Isabella Tanikumi says Disney plagiarized her 2010 autobiography “Living My Truth,” which detailed her childhood in the Andean mountains.

“She had mystical powers?” Fauria wondered.

“She says they stole her life story and she feels like this situation has ruined her life,” Merloni said.

” ‘Rocky’ was about me. That’s my life story,” Fauria joked. “I’m sure it’s yours, too, and every other Italian.”

– Wrestling legend Hulk Hogan owns a restaurant in Florida, and the dress code has led to accusations that the establishment is biased.

Among the rules for evening admission: No excessively baggy attire, no low-hanging pants, no hats facing sideways or back-facing, no oversized or excessive jewelry, no do-rags, skull caps or bandanas.

“It’s that urban stereotype that they don’t want in there,” Fauria said.

Blog Author: 
Free Simmons was trending on Twitter and that's exactly what Bill Simmons wanted. Dino, Gerry and Kirk credit Simmons for his shrewd move.
Chris Russo on Jeter's final week.

[0:00:19] ... guests we've had historically on this program is our good friend Chris mad dog Russo Chris of course is the host of high heat on MLB network and mad dog at least on Sirius XM radio. Published -- mad dog. -- -- -- that morning -- I haven't heard RJ go to long time I would do it fails at that brings back good memories are good memories actually I get coverage at the other way -- is gonna plant that latest figure I'd be shocked if he -- -- -- -- care what in fact Olbermann says. Stuff all the dignity what they're Red Sox to get you -- -- -- -- -- Well one more thing that you and I have in common Chris I don't care little woman says either I said at the outset of this program New York is in an upheaval at every level. The weather forecast is very bad for tonight's final. A Derek Jeter gave the Yankees have but announced no contingency plans that ticket brokers are petrified. How is this gonna play out on a ...
[0:04:02] ... -- Williams that late this period the -- -- well -- -- mad dog it was Williams Indians courier and I understand -- anywhere yeah but 38 -- every government it's quite -- this year. Or ...
[0:05:21] ... so that may get -- again -- actually walked. The streets nine Yankee Stadium that he is the Fed yet you've bought time you could put it below Barrett vacancy exit you wish. He's not what ...
[0:08:25] ... the last time the or Jeter play shortstop and it would be Yankee Stadium if he does play at Fenway Park and you think he will it would be at DH but here's the difference between ...

Larry Lucchino on the upcoming weekend of Jeter.

[0:00:00] ... The front office report that Larry Lucchino is brought you by noon turf care and Toshiba business solutions have always Larry joins us on the AT&T hotline good morning ...
[0:07:42] ... on last week we asked him about the -- stuff in the domestic violence and Ray Rice that is one organizationally. We see stuff like this happen even other sports you take some inventory and look at how you guys handle things you know I think for example you were doing something tonight we -- have Manny. Front -- like he was earlier this year before the re arrest that -- -- stuff he'd been arrested obviously. For domestic violence a couple years ago -- you look at things like that when these things happen. Yes we we we we certainly do ...
[0:09:37] ... as a ballplayer I -- I don't think you'll see too many Talking Heads. But there will be plenty of gesture of respect for. Terms of tangible gifts which I'm not figuring it may red convertible ...

Chris Mad Dog Russo on Derek jeter.
The top stories of the day as recounted by Kirk Minihane.
The guys opened the show by discussing Derek Jeter's final week and whether or not he'll play at Fenway this weekend.

[0:00:07] ... place -- yeah. One thing that we've learned over twenty years watching Derek Jeter and he has an uncanny ability. Just hope it. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- Overwhelming emotion. Players that ...
[0:01:42] ... endorsed by MLB. Are worried about losing their idiotic money to see Derek Jeter the Yankee fans -- overpaid at Fenway. Are worried that Derek Jeter Joseph Girardi will somehow come to a decision on its art. Derek Jeter will come to the right. But he's not playing here at Fenway Park and oh by the way Obama has created gridlock ...
[0:04:45] ... be at DH -- play his last game. Yes hopefully at shortstop Yankee Stadium he'll be eight source said that. Problems that where every. Can brought a whole lot of kids -- -- -- -- shortstop. ...
[0:06:05] ... a it was a chance. That's true. I've I've -- -- and Stephen Drew but. A given up close this year in Franklin's third suspect assignment for next you know when -- Jackie Bradley and backed ...