.

I don’t know if you can make a stronger case for Major League Baseball to address its pace-of-play issue than this.

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the work of Mia Khalifa, the Jennifer Lawrence of the adult film industry right now. The most popular, highest paid and most celebrated porn star of her generation, and a huge Washington Capitals fan.

Well, here we had her Tuesday night, sitting in the box seats for the Washington Nationals game and ready, willing and able to bare it all for the masses. All she was asking for was a measly little 50,000 retweets and she would have delivered the goods. But she couldn’t sit through the game before the world could oblige.

Probably because the hitters kept calling for time, stepping out of the box, adjusting their gloves. While the pitchers were stepping off the rubber, circumnavigating the mound, rubbing down the balls. While poor Mia got too bored to wait it out enough for the rest of us to hold up our end of the bargain and left the ballpark.

Am I saying baseball needs a clock? Yes. Or for the umps to simply enforce the rules. Anything, really. Whatever it takes so that we can get back to the good old days where you could play nine innings in 2 1/2 hours and porn stars could stay engaged long enough to run naked across the field. Is that asking too much?

Now if we want to see Mia Khalifa nude, we have to go to one of about a million videos of her available for free on the Internet. Thanks a lot, MLB.

@JerryThornton1

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TMZEven Serena Williams couldn’t contain herself during a face-to-beautiful-face with Tom Brady today … telling the QB he’s her favorite EVER … and she was so pumped, she needed a moment to recover. 

The two met up during a quick photo shoot in NYC Wednesday — no word on what it was for … but clearly, Serena was smitten by the QB … especially after Tom reciprocated the love. 

Ordinarily, I object to this sort of shameless fangirling of Tom Brady, mainly because it’s my thing so unbecoming. Whether it’s Captain America or whomever, people need to check themselves when it comes to professing their love for the G.O.A.T.

But not this time. In Serena Williams’ case, I’m OK with the swooning and gushing.

This is how celebrity athletes should be paired off. Greats hanging out with the greats. Tom and Serena, side-by-side like two of a kind walking up the gang plank of Noah’s Ark together. The four-time champion with the 21-time champion. The ultimate teammate with the 13-time doubles winner. The guy who should have won the SI Sportsman of the Year, being friends with the person they gave it to. Just an unparalleled tandem of awesomeness, together in one Snapchat. It fits.

It’s just a good thing Tom and Serena are just friends. Because if circumstances were different and they ever made babies, nobody but their kids would ever win an athletic contest ever again.

@JerryThornton1

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(NSFW, language)

Maybe my favorite football player in the world doesn’t play for New England after all.

This lovely lady chugging the beer is Ohama Heart running back/linebacker Shalynn Durham, and she does it right in front of the New England Liberty sidelines. That’s what causes the Liberty’s Jennie Johnson to swat the cup of her hand and holy hell to break loose.

Seriously, I have tried to break this down like the coach’s tape of a play, and I haven’t the first clue what’s happening. And the Legends Football League website is about as up-to-date as Chuck Norris Facts, so I can’t for the life of me who these coaches are. Just that the Omaha coach in the red shirt seems to be getting pummeled, shoves a Liberty player and then runs from her like she’s a ghost and he’s Scooby-Doo. Much to the consternation of the New England coach with the potty mouth. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.

The one thing I do know is that I love Shalynn. She’s the one who comes out of this brawl looking good. Fearless, crazy, arrogant and maybe slightly drunk. In other words, my kind of woman. The kind who would do shots with you, dance with you, take you home and then in all likelihood steal your wallet. But it would be worth it.

Shalynn Durham can chug from my Solo cup anytime.

@JerryThornton1

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Jerry Thornton

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How bad was Game 2 of the Celtics-Atlanta series? So bad that even the sight of the Harry the Hawk falling flat on his testicles can’t put a smile on my face. Think about that. “Man taking shot to the pills” is the very essence of comedy. It’s funny every time it’s been tried. Hell, it’s the life’s blood of the entire Adam Sandler film universe. But the Celtics were so historically awful Tuesday night they eliminated the pure, comedic joy of watching a grown man in a bird suit land on his nuts. Which is the first time in history watching a man fall on his baby-making parts wasn’t funny.

If they can come back and win this series somehow, we’ll revisit Harry taking one in the groin, and I’m sure then we’ll be able to find the humor in it. But for now, there’s only sadness.

@JerryThornton1

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All the latest stories brought to you by Kirk Minihane.

[0:00:39] ... last night Hillary thanked her home. She ruled burnished the only native new Yorker when you think you're just picked the spot to be senator for ten years ago and it worked out for her now ...
[0:02:14] ... close to 300. Delegates more than senator cruise. Where everything. Surprise to new case it was a governor really that that is an echo senator congressman case it up with if that surprised me but thank everybody who won their home state right prompt grooves basically true Hillary. Today he knew group once again there's no place like home. Native Chicago I don't win them through most were built like from Arkansas and Washington DC yes. If she he'd spent time in Mcguirk would ruin all of bill's farm Wright's quote these missiles spot that his. And ...
[0:05:10] ... me the other big Big Ten Disco moment today how to do. Peter King will be keeping him at 1030 day you can you can credit him and we have a disagreement sees. PCs that company ...





It was a tough night for the Red Sox and the Celtics.
Dino, Gerry and Kirk discuss the outrage over Curt Schilling's Facebook post.
Larry joined Dino, Gerry and Kirk to discuss being named as Chairman of the Jimmy Fund.

[0:00:02] ... years we have introduced Larry Lucchino as the president and CEO of Boston Red Sox say we introduced Larry Lucchino. As the chairman of the Jimmy Fund. Good morning Larry. Hey good morning to you got it going Kerry it morning Kirk. Larry trailer you've gradually issues on the ...
[0:00:52] ... overhead and clever thing about it Jimmy confident. Very briefly about the Jimmy Fund is as a result of you were being a patient there trustee there I mean how this. Paradigm come together Larry. Well I was connected two there forever the Jimmy Fund before I even came to keep costs I chose the tree I was to receive. I was with the Baltimore Orioles and in 198586. And I don't chose to come ought to ought scented data or climate satisfied consumer. But does since I've ...
[0:01:52] ... program but a lot of things that we had done was it Jimmy Fund and this is a way as others perpetuating the relationship. Between the Red Sox and they tended to beside as well on ...
[0:04:17] ... and as such do they ask you about. What you think of John Farrell's future hear what you think of this send a ball mess as it's unfolding before our very eyes. Well. I hit it ...






 

#entourage

A photo posted by Julian Edelman (@edelman11) on

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AOL.comIt’s no secret that New England Patriots head coach/Sith Lord Bill Belichick is pretty picky about who plays on his team. …

However, there is one secret to staying on the Patriots that isn’t publicized quite as much: if you want to play for this team, you need to be really, really, really, ridiculously good-looking. …

[A]ll we’re saying is that the field within Gillette Stadium seems to be a popular hangout for extremely handsome men. …

If you’re seeking a stud in a football uniform look no further than Foxboro, Massachusetts — that is, unless you’re not into guys who wear jewelry. 

Well, I’m glad someone else is finally saying it besides me.

As the first openly Patriotsensual sportswriter, it hasn’t been lost on me that the Pats have essentially cornered the market on super-attractive great athletes. And I’ve been saying for quite some time now that it’s part of the organizational philosophy in Foxboro. The way they value guys who are smart, dedicated to football and who were leaders on their college team, they understand the importance of good looks.

To me, it’s an alpha male thing. Game recognizing game and all that. It’s much easier to be a winner on the field when you’re a winner on campus, in the nightclubs, in the photographer’s studio, in the fashion magazines, in the bedroom and just in life in general. The men running the Patriots attract the best-looking women so they can relate to players who do likewise. It’s a key part of their success.

Last year I was watching a game with the Irish Rose and a group of our couples friends when the camera cut to the Patriots sideline and Tom Brady, Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola and Mathew Slater. (Don’t get me started on Jimmy Garoppolo.) To which someone said, “That is the Mount Rushmore of handsome right there.” Now, I’ll be honest and admit that someone was me. And I’ve struggled with my own orientation on this topic. For a while, I wasn’t sure if my attraction to certain Pats players means I’m secure in my own masculinity or is  a cry for help. But this article confirms it. It’s not anything to feel weird about. It’s simply the truth.

Then again, maybe I am just really attracted to championship rings.

@JerryThornton1

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Schill joins Dino, Gerry and Kirk after his controversial Facebook post sparked outrage on social media.

[0:00:03] ... joining us on the AT&T outline as he goes every Wednesday its Curt Schilling good morning Kurt what's now. Pay as of let's see nine all for 25. Are you still employed by ESPN. That I ...
[0:12:46] ... of that and Brian. Adams and but they're gonna turn Italy. Where same sex marriage is legal against the law they're gonna foreign countries in the represented by companies. That. That they do work in the Middle East which it's against the law people get murdered four. But they're not gonna go to North Carolina. And this issue is obviously far bigger than the bat and what 12 using ought to. But but you know it is this this to me this smacks of George Clooney of them. Among all the 40000 dollar plate dinner and I'm gonna come out and tell you how disgusting revolting I think ...
[0:20:15] ... it's in years six month to some Kirk and enhancements and the John Farrell is a terrible in game manager awful awful hard to defend him a proud to say you're going a little harsh on ...
[0:21:51] ... they've been public. They're ready as we get three outs. It good John Farrell did not pinch hit for Ryan Hanigan because he was afraid. He might have to use Christian baskets in extra innings it ...