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Let me see if I can translate Chris Simms’ argument from its original Simmsian into English:

Tom Brady was awesome last week. But the Browns suck. Anyone could have thrown for 400 yards. Brady is just a system quarterback. Brady is the Man. I am talking about him. Everyone please stop talking about him.

My Simmsian is pretty rusty since, like most Americans, I’m watching way less pro football than I used to. So I’m less immersed in the illogical ramblings of this Patriots-hating sock puppet or his clueless, barely articulate NFL-apologist father, Phil. But I think I’ve got the gist of it.

I now group Patriots haters into categories. They are either in the “Bill Belichick is only good because of Brady” camp, or live by the creed of “Brady is only good because of Belichick.” Personally, I’d like to pair them all off so they can settle the debate amongst themselves. Then put them on wooden boats, push them out to sea, then give them all a Viking funeral with a flaming arrow and rid my world of them once and for all. But since maritime law frowns on that, instead I’ll just continue to identify the two species like a zoologist tagging wildlife.

Chris Simms has identified himself as a “Brady is only good because of Belichick” clown. Anyone could have dropped 400 yards running the Patriots’ system. That’s good to know. So, in other words, if back at the 2000 draft, if the late, blessed, Dick Rehbein hadn’t stood up in the Patriots war room and famously advocated they draft Brady and they went with the next quarterback on the board, Todd Husak, (two career completions for -2 yards), there still would be four Lombardi trophies in the Patriots museum.

Got it. Being the Patriots quarterback doesn’t require talent, preparation, hard work, mental and physical toughness and year-round dedication. You can just slap a uniform on anyone and drop him in there the way record producers put Greg Brady in the Johnny Bravo costume and he’ll succeed.

Even an NFL washout like Chris Simms, I guess. Oh, right. He was in the Patriots system as a training camp assistant but couldn’t hack it. Though I’m sure that has nothing to do with his level of hatred for the organization and the quarterback. I’d say more, but Simms doesn’t want anyone talking about Tom Brady. Except for him.

wendysOctober marks the return of two legends: Wendy’s Original Taco Salad is back and so is our favorite quarterback. Wendy’s is celebrating these two historic returns by giving you a chance to win $12,000 in cash. Enter to win and see complete rules at WEEI.com/return.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
Michael Lombardi of Fox Sports discussed the Patriots winning culture with Tomase, Kirk and Gerry.
Curt Schilling called in to rip Tomase and callers reacted to the bloodbath.
The guys were joined by Stephen A. Smith to talk about Tom Brady and Donald Trump and Headlines with Kirk.
ESPN"s Stephen A. Smith called in to discuss a double standard between Tom Brady and LeBron James.
John Tomase joined Kirk and Gerry on Dino's Casting Couch and quickly began arguing with Callahan about Trump. Ken Laird is ripped for covering the Bruins game.
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Wow. Until I saw this clip, I did not realize two things. One, how much I need a rock band fronted by Corey Feldman in my life. And two, how good Corey Feldman’s rock band is.

Well, to be clear, “good” is a relative term. Is it good by “Get to Perform on National Network Morning Show” standards? No. But by the standard of say, “The Midday Talent Show I Host on the Main Stage at Hanover Day Every Year” standards? Sure. I’d use the word “good.” Unlike this “Today Show” host, who couldn’t bring herself to say anything about the piece, other than, “You did it, Corey!” But I’d say his band would be maybe eighth or ninth best at Hanover Day. Nowhere near as good as the band of middle schoolers doing original songs or the 15-year-old singing Rob Thomas using his iPhone as accompaniment. But at least the equal of the two little sisters who sang songs from “Frozen.” But then, they’re in kindergarten.

Corey just needs to plan his choreography a little better. Grabbing the American flag and waving it around? Good. Realizing he doesn’t know what to do with it so he throws it on the ground? Not so much. Even though I respect his explanation that “as a dancer” he relied on his choreography, which was to put up a peace sign. That’s just not going to fly in front of the two dozen parents at Hanover Day watching from their beach chairs. But other than that, he’s more than good enough to hit the stage at 10 a.m. with me next summer. Consider this my official invitation.

wendysOctober marks the return of two legends: Wendy’s Original Taco Salad is back and so is our favorite quarterback. Wendy’s is celebrating these two historic returns by giving you a chance to win $12,000 in cash. Enter to win and see complete rules at WEEI.com/return.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
A crazed Curt Schilling called into the show to attack John Tomase.

[0:00:00] ... I joining us on the AT&T hotline is not our friend Curt Schilling what's optional. Can't even begin to tell you without discussing. Debt the whole process is in and Europe Europe. Talking towered like ...
[0:01:51] ... such you'll probably. How on earth do you have a job calling Julio Lugo a pedophile. Without any evidence whatsoever. Because somebody told you think people in the organization truck. Scumbag like you who was legitimate news. We think we're getting off topic here. So I'm an apology. And it back to top it off you'll know (%expletive) about Julio Lugo. Mon cards can't economic Kurt Kurt you can't do that cancer all right swear today we got to get you that this ...
[0:04:36] ... a young person is attractive. Yes I'm not I'm not saying that Curt Schilling is gonna molest children. I am not saying that at all. Both times that. Both trump and I think what subjecting them to get it when ...
[0:06:13] ... this than I did. You're bringing a lot more focus on two Julio Lugo that night. It just keeps saying it over and over but again. You have to put this on me. You have to put this on me because you know that what you said it cannot be defended. But what I'm not defending myself Hollywood set. I suspect that I'm not that I don't need the well established players. Importantly our corporate jet thing just like it just I want to protect me out. That comment to me that I'm socializing young children and that ...







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Oh, you Mannings! You so crazee!

In the sports media’s never-ending quest to cover every single second of Peyton Manning’s life, they bring us Peyton and Eli, just horseplayin’ like the regular, blue-collar, lunch-pail, Joe Sixpacks that they are.

Because this is what average guys do when they’re shooting hoops. Run around in cargo shorts and track shoes, giggling like they’re in a tickle fight at a sorority house after too much box wine. Heck, that’s just what me and my friends always sounded like when we were playing pickup games. Just goofin’ and messin’ around because we’re silly like that. Man, if only Patriots players could be so humble, fun lovin’ and relatable as these two regular Joes, it’d be so much more fun.

Now I can’t wait until the next episode of “The Timeline” when hopefully we’ll get to see these two zany kids playing Twister, or Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots or having a pillow fight. It really doesn’t matter, as long as we all get our fix of 24/7 Manning coverage.

wendysOctober marks the return of two legends: Wendy’s Original Taco Salad is back and so is our favorite quarterback. Wendy’s is celebrating these two historic returns by giving you a chance to win $12,000 in cash. Enter to win and see complete rules at WEEI.com/return.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton

Good morning, here’s your Friday Morning Mashup. For the latest news, start at our WEEI.com home page or click here for the top stories from our news wire.