This is from “Inside Amy Schumer” on Comedy Central, and I have to hand it to the show. Luke Kuechly, Vernon Davis and Michael Strahan having a fantasy league of ordinary slobs (like Jim Norton) living their boring lives is inspired. Earning points when the guy remembers his Best Buy gift card and losing them because he’s still inviting people to join him on LinkedIn is clever, bordering on genius.

I recognize Amy Schumer gets some backlash, but I’m a fan. And even her biggest critic has to acknowledge she’s putting out some of the best sketch comedy on TV. I mean, it’s been years since “Saturday Night Live” had a skit anywhere close to this level of creativity. Well done.

DraftKings Experience the thrill of one-week fantasy golf at DraftKings! Just pick six golfers, stay under the salary cap and rack up points for how your players perform. Play for FREE with your first deposit in the $400,000 fantasy golf contest that starts Thursday. The winner takes home $100,000! To draft your team today, CLICK HERE.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
Despite talking about hating the crossover on Kirk's podcast, Lou came in to discuss his potty mouth. Kirk reveals that Tim Benz sent a Direct Message (on Twitter) about Lou's comments on the podcast.

[0:00:35] ... coming in within eleven rate hasn't hurt us because you go to commercial break if you're way up. Stuff that you just told me. It's worth. Five time. A lot of people say broke the record ...
[0:04:02] ... from Watertown mass went to beaver country day in and she and Rick Fox had split fool me is single and available. We give more information when I walked go right now to get rid who showed that he goes all right anyway. What a spreadsheet watch fancy watch spared she don't listen this crappy made the fourth thing yes. Those votes and it was a joke what's Joe's story. What's the plan just gone through with which direction Google musically. There was this is that right on a Whitewater like mr. like this but I did not favored. It's better than you ...

Reports have come out that say Joe Paterno knew about Jerry Sandusky molesting boys as far back as 1976.

[0:06:29] ... vote again Paul volleyball game my admin Jay Paterno that maggot. A writing books about him. An an and Franco Harris and Paul find bomb that to start coming out of the woodwork and Zoolander is ...
[0:13:42] ... know how we scandals as rage and for the ranch right his retirement home here and put that up for sale are really New Mexico yes yes. He's gonna finally cash and it was all part ...
[0:17:27] ... WEEI. They had cut inherited the points that you make to accuse David Ortiz a potentially using. Stories. Are what are the same point so that the feet. You'll premised. They wouldn't let our keys has ...
[0:20:08] ... played the field. So why he's an article in the play of David Ortiz could have played in the field and then and decent you have been decent first place and so. If Europe fielder and your bad fielder if Ortiz plaza that I never liked generally loves this alignment jet fuel was chipped as Manny Ramirez played. The field he sucked that it does he get credit for that. Jim Rice play the field. He was lousy note ...

It's becoming clear that fans and media are ready to circle the wagons for David Ortiz if anyone else brings up PED's.

[0:00:35] ... mean we do ask the question he would not mean. When when David Ortiz haven't and the season he's had at 87 let's be honest we would ask that question. About him he played or the New York Yankees of course we will these efforts are scored giants of course I have no doubt that could be a lot more. Cynics ...
[0:01:50] ... What point. Carrara there are folks out there who have been predicting David Ortiz has been busted for years. And it's now been what thirteen years since his name appeared on that. On that list and these so called anonymous list thirteen years and we still don't know what it was for that that aren't far Shiites here on the list. Thirteen years people have been predicting that if you were you just wait. Dextre here says boys act going to be awkward if they announced the other steroid suspension and its David Ortiz yes it will be awkward and I it would be very awkward to be very awkward and I I don't remember ever ...
[0:06:42] ... than we can't come up with another forty year old slugger who's Don Imus. Who's done including can't come up of one maybe he's the first and maybe first look at that's the Emmys that's probably ...
[0:07:40] ... Jerry are carrying on I would you know huge NBA just like David Ortiz and already this past. You look for part time period 54 home once you agrees on steroids. He's only. Old player in ...

Dan in Roxbury wants Kirk off his radio.

[0:01:55] ... it right bought it. And I think he's a better him than Ted Williams wants to know show you my duties of film work and some period now it. Do you know what to do you know like you know we want to deal with David Ortiz his career. Oh he asks its I don't I don't care a noble deed right now we know his career slugging percentages. What computed. I know I know without looking like computer right now. I that doesn't mean I I think in numbers the computer's not hear about looking at right now I notably has much better offensive numbers. That David Ortiz it's not even close. Okay boats truck. The closest. It. No I did not. No one not at all what do you think it's a better player Roger repko Wilt Chamberlain. And ask your question is required to do do it and ask your question you're never so we'll chaebol play either Jim Brown is a better running back Laurence Maroney. Not a bad answer again. Do you think that you Oscar Roberts you've made about a player to let my man and content in question. Why so I never saw play you never saw these guys place that you must have your answer. The Triple Crown. MVP SU but two World Series the Korean War. Ma radio operate degraded because you one because he has great numbers and he won championships Ortiz is a ...

Jon Bon Jovi's new DirecTV commercial led to a conversation about how much Kirk hates Bon Jovi.
The guys kick off the show with Gary lying about listening to Kirk's podcast.


PennLive.comHow much would you pay to see Abraham Lincoln’s final bowel movement?

In the late 19th century, a visit to a whole museum full of similar sensational oddities would have only cost you a dime — hence the term “dime museum.” 

The Gettysburg Dime Museum’s … owner Mark Kosh is pretty confident that visitors will get their money’s worth out of the various bizarre exhibits and installations.

“Before they were the institutions of higher learning that they are now, museums were more for entertainment,” said Kosh. …

Kosh himself has faced some flack from some in Gettysburg, particularly for his plans to display a piece of supposed presidential excrement.

I don’t believe I’ve ever written consecutive posts gleaned from the same news site in my storied career. But when you’re look at the news outlet that broke the Joe Paterno story and come across one about a museum that has Abraham Lincoln’s last poop, well what choice does that leave you? You’ve got to go where the stories take you. That’s Blogging 101.

Every time you think Lincoln has reached the pinnacle of celebrity, he manages to up the ante. He’s already got a bill and a coin. His own monument. A car named after him. He’s in the Washington Nationals’ Presidents Race. Daniel Day-Lewis won yet another Oscar playing him. He’s on the Mount Rushmore of Guys Who Are on Mount Rushmore. You can’t do better than he’s done.

Or so you’d think. This preserved poop puts him on a whole other level of celebrity no one has ever achieved. When someone is preserving your last finless brown fish like it’s an Egyptian pharaoh, you can’t touch that. Literally. When you get shot in Washington and someone decides your final sewer trout needs to be shipped to Gettysburg and put on display for the teeming crowds who file through the Dime Museum to admire, you know you have really made it in this world. Let’s see you get that big time, Harriet Tubman.

I guess this makes Lincoln having the last line in “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure” seem way less impressive now.

DraftKings Experience the thrill of one-week fantasy golf at DraftKings! Just pick six golfers, stay under the salary cap and rack up points for how your players perform. Play for FREE with your first deposit in the $400,000 fantasy golf contest that starts Thursday. The winner takes home $100,000! To draft your team today, CLICK HERE.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton



As mentioned in the Morning Mashup earlier, a new bombshell dropped on the Jerry Sandusky/Penn State football child sexual abuse scandal. And if you’re one of the few remaining holdouts that believe in Joe Paterno’s sainthood, you’ll want to hold off on trying to put his statue back up.

According to, a single line appeared Thursday in a court order on a related insurance coverage case involving the lawsuits against the school. And that line does the impossible; it makes Paterno’s enabling seem much, much worse:

The line in question states that one of Penn State’s insurers has claimed “in 1976, a child allegedly reported to PSU’s Head Coach Joseph Paterno that he (the child) was sexually molested by Sandusky.”

“There is no evidence that reports of these incidents ever went further up the chain of command at PSU,” Judge Gary Glazer wrote.

To review: The least of the allegations against Sandusky claimed the abuse began around 1998. To this point, the worst were that it started in 1987. Now we’ve got a legal document containing testimony, taken under the pains and penalties of perjury, that not only was Sandusky molesting boys 40 years ago, but that Paterno knew about it that far back.

In other words, this court filing is saying Paterno first heard that his assistant was raping the bodies, minds and souls of children when he was 50 years old. When he was of sound mind and body. With all of his faculties. Not as the doddering, out-of-touch, coaching-on-autopilot, statue-worthy legend at the end of his days. He coached another 35 years after keeping this report to himself. Through hundreds more games than we thought and two national championships. He ignored the victim, took part in the coverup and enabled this monster to continue through all those future victims simply because the guy could coach linebackers with the best of them.

I’ve assumed before now that JoePa is in hell. Now I’m hoping he’s there and getting the Sandusky treatment. Meaning I hope Satan will be teaching him how to shower for eternity.

DraftKings Experience the thrill of one-week fantasy golf at DraftKings! Just pick six golfers, stay under the salary cap and rack up points for how your players perform. Play for FREE with your first deposit in the $400,000 fantasy golf contest that starts Thursday. The winner takes home $100,000! To draft your team today, CLICK HERE.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton

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