This video went viral over the weekend, and it’s from Buffalo Creek Golf Club in Manatee County, Florida. As it is, Florida is America’s Wang. A fetid, hurricane ravaged lowland of swamp people, Waffle Houses and teachers who have sex with their students. And of course it’s overrun with these prehistoric leathery death torpedoes. But I had no idea they come this big. Clearly the whole peninsula is uninhabitable because God never intended for human beings to mix with killing machines so perfect they haven’t had to evolve since dinosaurs roamed the Earth. Much less recreate among them. And this megagator is all the proof I need.

Fortunately for us all, the Internet wasted no time giving it the treatment it deserved:

Well done, Internet. And you’re all doomed, citizens of God’s Waiting Room.

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Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton


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Sometimes less is more. Brevity is the soul of wit, and all that.

There are moments in dire circumstances that don’t call for a long speech. Just keep it short and to the point. For instance, when his 101st Airborne was surrounded by German forces at Bastogne in the brutal winter of 1944 and was asked to surrender, Gen. McAuliffe’s reply was simply “NUTS!” As Gen. Patton said at hearing that, “A man that eloquent has to be saved.”

And a man as eloquent as Julian Edelman has to win another ring with Brady. #FreeBrady. Again.

DraftKings Baseball is in full swing and you can be a part of the action all season long at DraftKings! Play for FREE in the $10K fantasy baseball contest TODAY with your first deposit. Just draft two pitchers and eight position players, stay under the salary cap and outscore the competition to turn your love of baseball into CASH! To draft your team today, CLICK HERE.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
John, Gerry and Kirk discuss the Red Sox win over Baltimore on Memorial Day Monday and the team's surge to a two game lead in the AL East
Gerry, John and Kirk are astounded at Howard Bryant's latest effort in ESPN the Magazine. Are patriotic displays at ballparks stifling athletes? What?
John, Gerry and Kirk discuss the killing of Hamabe the gorilla to save a four-year old boy. Was there another option besides shooting? Should the boy's parents be held accountable?
John, Gerry and Kirk discuss the killing of Harambe the gorilla to save a four-year old boy. Was there another option besides shooting? Should the boy's parents be held accountable?

[0:10:28] ... if rob 82 weeks ago today let's I wanna. He was like Morgan Freeman he said no it's just time for me to leave yet and it's not long enough. The source was and now we ...
[0:18:13] ... such suffers from a team that doesn't matter of life. I've had Anthony Perkins and rhetorical original. But they remade it shot for shot or Vince Vaughn. In and he should be eight B with the and that's already on the beach at the end. That's the point it's often the cycle they remade that it shot for shot and I don't remember at all bids on was was Anthony Perkins he had and William H may see it anyway you know what I always say confide in the one on the Internet ...
[0:19:06] ... this is excellent. Tell in the chocolate factory in the remain with Johnny Depp as bad results so good gene while it's so great as Willy Wonka or creepy Padilla. But supposed to be little creep and he's joining Apple's ultra creepy but think its really walker you don't you don't happen which I definitely Willie August integral pervert but it didn't become a a kids movie anymore Johnny Depp and yet he comes like that became a look at timber opening and I did not like this Christmas vacation to on ...





John, Gerry and Kirk discuss the killing of Harambe the gorilla to save a four-year old boy. Was there another option besides shooting? Should the boy's parents be held accountable?

[0:10:28] ... if rob 82 weeks ago today let's I wanna. He was like Morgan Freeman he said no it's just time for me to leave yet and it's not long enough. The source was and now we ...
[0:18:13] ... such suffers from a team that doesn't matter of life. I've had Anthony Perkins and rhetorical original. But they remade it shot for shot or Vince Vaughn. In and he should be eight B with the and that's already on the beach at the end. That's the point it's often the cycle they remade that it shot for shot and I don't remember at all bids on was was Anthony Perkins he had and William H may see it anyway you know what I always say confide in the one on the Internet ...
[0:19:06] ... this is excellent. Tell in the chocolate factory in the remain with Johnny Depp as bad results so good gene while it's so great as Willy Wonka or creepy Padilla. But supposed to be little creep and he's joining Apple's ultra creepy but think its really walker you don't you don't happen which I definitely Willie August integral pervert but it didn't become a a kids movie anymore Johnny Depp and yet he comes like that became a look at timber opening and I did not like this Christmas vacation to on ...





Kirk Minihane rips through the national news buzz, with Donald Trump now refusing to debate Bernie Sanders, Amanda Heard v Johnny Depp, and Libertarians naming their presidential candidate

[0:00:41] ... based on the fact that democratic nominating process is totally written cricket Hillary Clinton Deborah. Wasserman Schultz will not allow Bernie Sanders to win it seems inappropriate that would debate the second place finisher trump says ...
[0:03:33] ... it's chilly. You think you're ever heard is trying to set up Johnny Depp what they're speculating now in the gossip magazines we think that's fascinating I hope. Oh she's films through Tibet would hurt but ...
[0:04:06] ... seems like he's got some darkness like god I'm ten minutes or Johnny Depp and I can't get a look at our Q smells. Just. A hole. I hope I hope she's telling the truth. Did ...
[0:10:40] ... may be. No regulation to everything should be as legal as tomatoes. Tom Brady did not like that really got it right I'm afraid of against tomatoes he wants them like that tomatoes illegally and dropped ...






John Dennis, Gerry Callahan and Kirk Minihane are back together after the holiday and discuss Oklahoma City losing a 3-1 series lead to Golden State. Did it hurt Kevin Durant's stock?

[0:08:45] ... you know you have to try to restatements of. Also at a side effect of when he makes those threes is so psychologically devastating to the other team special when it's 342. And even more so ...
[0:10:47] ... the Foreman a mile. The kids now are younger guns start going high school saying oh you know I can't make twenty fours like panicked drivers absolutely I was gonna lead to kids who can't shoot. ...
[0:20:24] ... them lose but money. And they they pulled it Rodham back toward North Korea with two minutes left there with a four and the place is going crazy in curry is hot. Al Golden State scored ...
[0:21:10] ... note with note. Multiple and Stephen's ever horrible loss to raise cash Steve Nash would put him in that category would you two MVPs so what to would you you know like now he's not not ...






Has there ever been a more one-sided, straightforward, non-controversial “controversy” than the death of Harambe the gorilla over the weekend?

Yes, it’s a tragedy. Of course, it should have been avoided. Naturally, we are all sad at the unnecessary death of this majestic and endangered creature. But only a real nutjob, a real anti-humanist “a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy” vegan crackpot of the highest order would try to make a case against the zoo officials who took decisive action to save that 4-year-old.

It’s not up to an animal handler, called to the scene of human child in an enclosure with a 400-pound furry death monster, to assess the moral equivalency or the rightness/wrongness of who’s fault it is. Unless you’ve got on hand a Chris Pratt who can stand there and alpha the critters into submission, you put down the animal and ask questions later.

No, creatures with a human brain in their skulls understand the fault here is with two people and two people only: Michelle Gregg and Deonne Dickerson.

These two lost their Parent of the Year credentials the minute — or five minutes or 10 minutes — they spent completely ignoring their obviously precocious son in the presence of a massively strong and pissed-off animal that sits at the top of the primate social order. They might as well have covered the kid in Reptile Chow and tossed him in the crocodile exhibit.

Watching the results of Deonne’s dadding skills, it will come as a surprise to no one he’s got a long criminal background, the highlights of which include burglary, firearms offenses, drug trafficking, criminal trespass, disorderly conduct and kidnapping. So ironically, the best care the kid got all day was from Harambe, who at least had the decency to keep an eye on him. Just seeing the ape hold the boy’s hand is enough to make me wish we’d just let Harambe raise him. Let the kid learn how to be King of the Jungle, live in the trees and have a yell that will call all the animals stampeding to his aid. It beats growing up as the son of two neglectful parents and a criminal father.

DraftKings Baseball is in full swing and you can be a part of the action all season long at DraftKings! Play for FREE in the $10K fantasy baseball contest TODAY with your first deposit. Just draft two pitchers and eight position players, stay under the salary cap and outscore the competition to turn your love of baseball into CASH! To draft your team today, CLICK HERE.

Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton