Why is Rob Gronkowski shooting a video walking around South Beach with SI swimsuit model Hailey Clauson? For the same reason only Thor can pick up Thor’s hammer. Because no one else is worthy. You don’t waste this kind of talent on just any NFL tight end.

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Jerry Thornton

 

The Guardian On a grey January morning at 9.15, residents of the Oaks shelter for the homeless started lining up, coffee mugs in hand, at a yellow linoleum counter. At half past the hour, the pour began. The Oaks’ residents are hard-core alcoholics. They line up to get what most people would consider the very last thing they need: an hourly mug of alcohol. …

The Oaks is a converted hotel next to a pawnshop, in Carlington, a working-class neighbourhood on the west side of Ottawa, Canada. When residents first arrive, they tend to drink the maximum, every hour, every day. Many also drink whatever they can buy or shoplift outside the building. For most, this gradually changes. They stop drinking outside, begin to ask for fewer ounces, skip pours or have a “special pour” of watered-down wine.

It’s stories like this that make me reconsider the notion that Canada is just a vast wasteland of Zambonis, lumberjacks and beaver dams with a couple of strip clubs mixed in. Because this is subversively genius. Because what better way could there be to keep homeless alcoholics off the street than a little bit of the old John Barleycorn for breakfast, then every hour after that? Why go out panhandling, standing at off-ramps with cardboard signs or making it really awkward for those of us stuck at traffic lights to ignore you but do it just casually enough that it doesn’t come off like we’re actually ignoring you, when you can just hang around the shelter getting a buzz on with your fellow homeless alcoholics?

This is the best thing to happen to problem drinkers since the police lock up drunk tank. Keeping them behind doors in a shelter with an open bar makes them seem less like homeless people and more like members of an exclusive club. So good for you, America’s Hat. Next time (read: the first time) I visit Ottawa, I know where I’m staying.

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Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton
The show goes completely off the rails in the final hour as Gerry tells stories of dogs that were killed when he was a child, and Kirk says he's probably going to own a dog very soon.
Producer candidate, Lucy, defends herself regarding attacks on her abilities to do the job, from Paul and Ken.
Oscar de la Hoya says that Donald Trump is a notorious cheater on the links.

 

 

 

Lenny Clarke was pissed at Kirk yesterday. WBZ's Scott Eck is transgendering to become Kristen Eck. Caitlyn Jenner will pose nude in Sports Illustrated.
John, Gerry and Kirk re-visit some of the Tom Brady conversation from last year regarding his diet, as the TB12 company has released a cookbook for 200 bucks.

[0:05:39] ... first day it's available. How many of those hundred byte because it's Tom Brady's and there are fan of Tom Britt 100 at and how it is quiet because they want the recipes and they wanna eat like Tom Brady motion and I need I -- why yes yes yes and how many people who by the spoke with say 100 again ...
[0:08:27] ... or somebody on what makes it better. I had very brief note Senator. Obama Colorado coconut milk and you're on the air like a ground right there are. So if you may that same eyes grew ...
[0:12:40] ... Reid meant Steve what's up. I don't wanna put out there when Tom Brady first met Bob Kraft you receive large sheet says they have that on films are human history and sometimes you do a ...
[0:14:18] ... think that he would look at a guy like I don't know Drew Bledsoe and say he should have taken better care and so maybe you'd be Johnny immense self. One amok but streams which is Catholic. Roethlisberger. And that's extreme. But just any quarterback we've done at 3536. And been in July Donovan McNabb chair and on them them I'm thinking and Kofi. Pizza avocado ice creating this that there are people in the world affair ...






Clay Buchholz finally got a win and the guys discuss his inconsistencies over his career.

It’s rare that I do back-to-back posts on the same subject. But then again, it’s not every day that Tom Brady appears in a tweet with Vanilla Ice.

The greatest winner of the 21st century together with the greatest one-hit wonder white guy rapper of the mid-to-late 1980s? The man who redefined excellence in his sport meets the man who practically invented the art cruising in your five-point-oh with the rag top down so your hair can blow. The one who sells comfortable, high-quality footwear to the masses joined by the one who, if rhyme was a drug, he’d sell it by the gram. The author of the world’s best cookbook and the lyrical poet, together at last. This is like a “Star Trek” when matter comes in contact with anti-matter. Except the resulting explosion sends out a blast wave of pure awesomeness.

Like I said, I don’t often do this. But then again, not every day is #ArmorDay.

Word to your mother.

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Blog Author: 
Jerry Thornton